The worst book you have ever read.

[judas]

Atlantis Found - my first and only foray into Clive Cussler's oeuvre.

Dear lord, what a load of turgid nonsense. The nonsense I can put up with, but having half the book consist of lengthy exposition, where the lead character and his chum sound like they're reading dull sales brochures or boring encyclopedia articles at each other was just beyond the pale. Book binned,

[Hugo a Gogo]

Halmyre said:

droopsnoot said:

Halmyre said:

I read the first two of Peter James' 'Roy Grace' series back-to-back and resolved never to read another. Terrible cut-and-paste writing - whole paragraphs from the first book turn up in the second; terrible characterisation. Out of curiosity I looked up the synopsis for the latest in the series (the thirteenth!) and some of the main character's back story is still unresolved.

I've never noticed the similarities from book to book, but then I don't read them back to back, and because I read a lot in-between I probably forget most of that kind of detail. I stopped reading Colin Forbes stuff because I found the writing quite awkward and a bit patronising, and there are similarities between several books, not least that many of them feature a frantic dash across Europe.

I'd forgotten about Colin Forbes, either that or I had my memory deliberately erased - I read "This United State" with a growing sense of disbelief, the tipping point came with the elite team of London cabbies defeating a team of US Navy SEALS.

ooh that's the one I read, absolutely woeful

[King Herald]

Johnnytheboy said:

I asked him what he made of it, and his immortal response was the "God comes out of it like a right ahole".

It is indeed remarkable the carnage and destruction he wielded happily. Various quotes pop up on Bookface quite regularly, detailing his biblical orders for rape, pillage, murder, genocide, pedophilia, infanticide etc. They are genuine quotes too, I checked up on a few.

[marcosgt]

Halmyre said:

I'd forgotten about Colin Forbes, either that or I had my memory deliberately erased - I read "This United State" with a growing sense of disbelief, the tipping point came with the elite team of London cabbies defeating a team of US Navy SEALS.

I really enjoyed Forbes' early stuff (Tramp in Armour, Year of the Golden Ape), but then he started with his series stuff (I seem to recall a character called Tweed?) and it's mostly unreadable rubbish.

I guess people like it as he's trotted out dozens (It seems) at the expense of his more interesting stuff - Shame really...

M

[droopsnoot]

marcosgt said:

I really enjoyed Forbes' early stuff (Tramp in Armour, Year of the Golden Ape), but then he started with his series stuff (I seem to recall a character called Tweed?) and it's mostly unreadable rubbish.

I guess people like it as he's trotted out dozens (It seems) at the expense of his more interesting stuff - Shame really...

M

Yes, the ones I'm talking about are the Tweed series. I don't recall reading any of his without Tweed, unless it was a very long time ago.

I can't agree on Clive Cussler - I don't like his new series featuring the detective Isaac Bell, though that's mainly because of the time it's set in - but the rest I generally enjoy. They're not great works of literature, obviously, but they're entertaining enough.

[Edwin Strohacker]

I once got stuck in Geneva airport overnight & realising my fate, I hit the newsagents in the concourse for something to while away the hours - all they had was Jeffrey Archer's prison diary & I knocked it off in one go. It led me to two conclusions - they didn't give him long enough inside & it is possible to slam dunk a paperback into the Geneva airport bins from six feet away.

[AstonZagato]

grumbledoak said:

I couldn't get far into Catch 22 before giving up. Twice.

I struggled with Catch 22 but persevered. It became one of my favorite books, aged 14 or so. The disconnected timeline is very offputting - its as though Joseph Heller wrote a normal novel and then shuffled the chapters at random. However, I loved the characters and the absurdity.

My worst book was Lord of the Rings. I adored the Hobbit. I was thrilled when I got LotR. But it was turgid, self indulgent claptrap. Writing passages in Elvish FFS.

[rst99]

The Trial by Kafka.

[Halmyre]

AstonZagato said:

grumbledoak said:

I couldn't get far into Catch 22 before giving up. Twice.

I struggled with Catch 22 but persevered. It became one of my favorite books, aged 14 or so. The disconnected timeline is very offputting - its as though Joseph Heller wrote a normal novel and then shuffled the chapters at random. However, I loved the characters and the absurdity.

My worst book was Lord of the Rings. I adored the Hobbit. I was thrilled when I got LotR. But it was turgid, self indulgent claptrap. Writing passages in Elvish FFS.

Are you sure? There's no passages in Elvish that I've read, and I've read it so many times that I threw my copy out to stop me reading it again.

In my case, I hated The Hobbit (set text in school) so much that it took me years to get round to LOTR.

[AstonZagato]

I was aged 10 at the time. So it was over 40 years ago.

[jas xjr]

yung cheng ? wild swans . it was a big thing back in the eighties. i have never struggled as much with anything else i have ever read. i am a voracious reader and i always see a book to the end. i di manage to read it but god was it depressing and boring.

[Einion Yrth]

Halmyre said:

AstonZagato said:

grumbledoak said:

I couldn't get far into Catch 22 before giving up. Twice.

I struggled with Catch 22 but persevered. It became one of my favorite books, aged 14 or so. The disconnected timeline is very offputting - its as though Joseph Heller wrote a normal novel and then shuffled the chapters at random. However, I loved the characters and the absurdity.

My worst book was Lord of the Rings. I adored the Hobbit. I was thrilled when I got LotR. But it was turgid, self indulgent claptrap. Writing passages in Elvish FFS.

Are you sure? There's no passages in Elvish that I've read, .

A Elbereth Gilthoniel?

[AstonZagato]

Einion Yrth said:

Halmyre said:

AstonZagato said:

grumbledoak said:

I couldn't get far into Catch 22 before giving up. Twice.

I struggled with Catch 22 but persevered. It became one of my favorite books, aged 14 or so. The disconnected timeline is very offputting - its as though Joseph Heller wrote a normal novel and then shuffled the chapters at random. However, I loved the characters and the absurdity.

My worst book was Lord of the Rings. I adored the Hobbit. I was thrilled when I got LotR. But it was turgid, self indulgent claptrap. Writing passages in Elvish FFS.

Are you sure? There's no passages in Elvish that I've read, .

A Elbereth Gilthoniel?

That's the badger.

[Halmyre]

AstonZagato said:

Einion Yrth said:

Halmyre said:

AstonZagato said:

grumbledoak said:

I couldn't get far into Catch 22 before giving up. Twice.

I struggled with Catch 22 but persevered. It became one of my favorite books, aged 14 or so. The disconnected timeline is very offputting - its as though Joseph Heller wrote a normal novel and then shuffled the chapters at random. However, I loved the characters and the absurdity.

My worst book was Lord of the Rings. I adored the Hobbit. I was thrilled when I got LotR. But it was turgid, self indulgent claptrap. Writing passages in Elvish FFS.

Are you sure? There's no passages in Elvish that I've read, .

A Elbereth Gilthoniel?

That's the badger.

It's only half a dozen lines! It's not like you're having to read Shakespeare in the original Klingon.

[Einion Yrth]

Halmyre said:

AstonZagato said:

Einion Yrth said:

Halmyre said:

AstonZagato said:

grumbledoak said:

I couldn't get far into Catch 22 before giving up. Twice.

I struggled with Catch 22 but persevered. It became one of my favorite books, aged 14 or so. The disconnected timeline is very offputting - its as though Joseph Heller wrote a normal novel and then shuffled the chapters at random. However, I loved the characters and the absurdity.

My worst book was Lord of the Rings. I adored the Hobbit. I was thrilled when I got LotR. But it was turgid, self indulgent claptrap. Writing passages in Elvish FFS.

Are you sure? There's no passages in Elvish that I've read, .

A Elbereth Gilthoniel?

That's the badger.

It's only half a dozen lines! It's not like you're having to read Shakespeare in the original Klingon.

I offer it only as evidence, I have no dog in this fight ( I also own "A Dictionary of Elvish" and "The Klingon Dictionary" - I think ConLangs are fascinating.)

[Mr Gearchange]

paulguitar said:

Inspired by another thread, ‘giving up on a book’ I would like to know what you would consider the worst book you have ever read?

Mine, as posted in that thread, are:


1: 'When the Wind Blows' by James Patterson.

Patterson is thriller writing for the thickest kid in the remedial class.

I enjoy a good thriller and spend a lot of time sat on aeroplanes - so, almost inevitably I picked one up in an airport once.
I think I read the first two chapter in the departure lounge before I threw it in a bin. There must be a lot of barely literate people in the world for him to be a best selling writer.

[Johnnytheboy]

I was sat on the floor patting the dog yesterday and noticed that my thriller-junkie missus owns this.

[AstonZagato]

Halmyre said:

AstonZagato said:

Einion Yrth said:

Halmyre said:

AstonZagato said:

grumbledoak said:

I couldn't get far into Catch 22 before giving up. Twice.

I struggled with Catch 22 but persevered. It became one of my favorite books, aged 14 or so. The disconnected timeline is very offputting - its as though Joseph Heller wrote a normal novel and then shuffled the chapters at random. However, I loved the characters and the absurdity.

My worst book was Lord of the Rings. I adored the Hobbit. I was thrilled when I got LotR. But it was turgid, self indulgent claptrap. Writing passages in Elvish FFS.

Are you sure? There's no passages in Elvish that I've read, .

A Elbereth Gilthoniel?

That's the badger.

It's only half a dozen lines! It's not like you're having to read Shakespeare in the original Klingon.

But it's still there. I seem to remember dialogue in elvish too.
To be fair, it isn't the worst book I've ever read but I think it was the biggest disappointment. I wanted to love it and it just droned on and on. It was meant to be epic but, to me at least, it was a bit dull. It would have benefitted from ferocious editing.

[Goaty Bill 2]

Mr Gearchange said:

There must be a lot of barely literate people in the world for him to be a best selling writer.

Truer words...

[MarshPhantom]

Vernon God Little - DBC Pierre.

God awful former Booker Prize winner.