What has your "friend" been up to?
Discussion
My friend was showing off in his recently acquired Nova SR, came into the driveway of his work sideways nearly knocking over one of the secretaries. He got a verbal warning for that.
A month or two later, at exactly the same place, he pulled out of the junction without looking. He got hit by a Sierra, 2 weeks in traction and 6 more points on his licence. It certainly taught him to stop being such a dick behind the wheel.
A month or two later, at exactly the same place, he pulled out of the junction without looking. He got hit by a Sierra, 2 weeks in traction and 6 more points on his licence. It certainly taught him to stop being such a dick behind the wheel.
SprintSpeciale said:
Tell your friend that is the only recorded example of a Krooklock having prevented the removal of a car...
Alas, one of these, so, while no match for the resourceful scrote, not as easy to pry off as some are, and my friend had neither the tools nor the desire to cut through his steering wheel.NB: serving suggestion. Honda not included.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/4Tress-Professional-Silver...
Vaud said:
Breadvan72 said:
Breadvan73 said:
Indeed. This thread is for "friends". In the unlikely event that any of us has an actual friend, this thread is not about him.
Breadvan72 said:
Vaud said:
Breadvan72 said:
Breadvan73 said:
Indeed. This thread is for "friends". In the unlikely event that any of us has an actual friend, this thread is not about him.
Breadvan72 said:
In 2011 I had a 1973 Lotus Europa Special (in fact it was built in 1972, but not registered until 1973). I sold it, but in 2012 I had a 1972 Lotus Europa Twin Cam. I have sold that too, and could change my name to "Some bloke on the internet who used to have some old Lotus and then had another one but hasn't got either of them now", but I am not sure that my friend would approve.
I'd assumed that you'd made a name change - quite brilliantly, I thought - just for this thread, such that the honest and right-thinking Breadvan72 might later claim his lesser-moralled twin had "posted it and ran away".But no. How disappointing.
My friend was learning to drift his new MR2. After deciding that second gear drifts were a bit slow, he attempted a third gear effort, unfortunately at this point the engine decided it would quite like to lead for a bit, so the car pirouetted down the dual carriage way from the roundabout exit a few times before coming to a stop a few feet from the armco.
He also got into a race with a brand new Yamaha R1 on his motorbike. This flat out race took them over a crest at hugely illegal speed causing both bikes to jump the crest. The other R1 then out braked himself on the way into a corner, he exited the corner over the other side of the road. Anyone coming the other way, and the R1 rider would have been in a bit of a pickle.
My friend also wrote off his focus (through a tree, and fence into a field) when the brakes failed. He may have forgotten to mention that he was racing another car at the time.
The rascal.
He also got into a race with a brand new Yamaha R1 on his motorbike. This flat out race took them over a crest at hugely illegal speed causing both bikes to jump the crest. The other R1 then out braked himself on the way into a corner, he exited the corner over the other side of the road. Anyone coming the other way, and the R1 rider would have been in a bit of a pickle.
My friend also wrote off his focus (through a tree, and fence into a field) when the brakes failed. He may have forgotten to mention that he was racing another car at the time.
The rascal.
trashbat said:
Breadvan72 said:
In 2011 I had a 1973 Lotus Europa Special (in fact it was built in 1972, but not registered until 1973). I sold it, but in 2012 I had a 1972 Lotus Europa Twin Cam. I have sold that too, and could change my name to "Some bloke on the internet who used to have some old Lotus and then had another one but hasn't got either of them now", but I am not sure that my friend would approve.
I'd assumed that you'd made a name change - quite brilliantly, I thought - just for this thread, such that the honest and right-thinking Breadvan72 might later claim his lesser-moralled twin had "posted it and ran away".But no. How disappointing.
The trouble with keys. Here is a verse by a real friend of mine called Kate White.
http://www.poetryschool.com/news/pighog-and-poetry...
http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Old-Madness-National-S...
Your Trouble With Keys...
It's as if you don't want to hold them
like they'll scald. They slide out
of your pockets in cabs, insinuate
themselves into the crevice of the back seat.
At airport security you turn them out
into the tray and, with them, the intention
to pick them up again. That time you swam
with them and they sank into a clutch of urchins.
Unnerving, your tendency on arriving home,
distracted by my welcome, the cat
winkling herself out between your ankles
and the slight stick of the lock, to leave
the key street-side - its partner dangling -
like a jag toothed knife in the door all night.
And us in our bed, at peace, unaware
the walls have gone and anyone
could find us, careless in our sleep.
http://www.poetryschool.com/news/pighog-and-poetry...
http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Old-Madness-National-S...
Your Trouble With Keys...
It's as if you don't want to hold them
like they'll scald. They slide out
of your pockets in cabs, insinuate
themselves into the crevice of the back seat.
At airport security you turn them out
into the tray and, with them, the intention
to pick them up again. That time you swam
with them and they sank into a clutch of urchins.
Unnerving, your tendency on arriving home,
distracted by my welcome, the cat
winkling herself out between your ankles
and the slight stick of the lock, to leave
the key street-side - its partner dangling -
like a jag toothed knife in the door all night.
And us in our bed, at peace, unaware
the walls have gone and anyone
could find us, careless in our sleep.
My friend once left his keys in the door of his car (no remote locking here, thank you very much) and wandered off to the office.
Imagine his relief when he ran back a few hours later to find no one had stolen the old banger.
The same friend once left his key in the door of his house in Colliers Wood and went off to work in South Wimbledon. When he realised, he made it home in record time.
Imagine his relief blah blah...
Imagine his relief when he ran back a few hours later to find no one had stolen the old banger.
The same friend once left his key in the door of his house in Colliers Wood and went off to work in South Wimbledon. When he realised, he made it home in record time.
Imagine his relief blah blah...
My friend lived in Hackney in the late 1980s, in a supposed yuppie enclave of Victorian houses surrounded by full on urban combat zones. He had an E30 Bimmer 325i that he liked (but had no clue how to drive properly, being young, overpaid, and devoid of all talent and judgment). This was in the days when all BMW drivers were tailgating w
kers with arms too short to reach the indicator switch, before that mantle passed to the Audi drivers.
One summer night my friend carelessly left the Gitmobile parked in the street outside his bijou pad with the windows down, the sunroof open, and the doors unlocked. Nothing untoward ensued. Then he moved to Chelsea, and within a few weeks the (locked) car was vandalised, broken into, etc. Rant, moan, Daily Mail, UKIP, blah, blah, etc.
kers with arms too short to reach the indicator switch, before that mantle passed to the Audi drivers. One summer night my friend carelessly left the Gitmobile parked in the street outside his bijou pad with the windows down, the sunroof open, and the doors unlocked. Nothing untoward ensued. Then he moved to Chelsea, and within a few weeks the (locked) car was vandalised, broken into, etc. Rant, moan, Daily Mail, UKIP, blah, blah, etc.
My friend's young son has a winter birthday. A few years ago, the son's kindly godfather bought him a remote controlled car that would also run on water. My friend took his excited son to Hyde Park so that they could test out the fab new toy on the duck pond. My friend showed his young son how to drive the vehicle gently into the pond and, behold, it chugged around in the water. (Somewhat reluctantly) My friend handed over the controls to his young son. Unforunately, the young son was overcome with enthusiasm and sent the vehicle towards the duck pond at top speed. Inevitably it flipped onto its roof and began to float slowly towards the middle of the pond. Realising quick action was necessary, my friend ran towards the edge of the pond to grab the vehicle before it floated out of reach. Now, if you have been to the Hyde Park duck pond you will realise that in the winter it can be rather slippery around the edge. As my friend tried to stop at the pond's edge his feet gave way and he travelled gracefully through the air, landing on his arse in the pond. The water was pretty cold, but worse was the layer of green slime that coats the bottom of said pond (which appears to be a mixture of pond plant and duck/goose/swan st).
My friend got lots of strange looks as he trudged home from the park, dripping and squelching. His dignity was further compromised when his wife made him strip off to his boxers in the mews street before she would let him in. She also decided to throw his jacket in the bin because it was so disgusting.
Next morning, my friend was getting ready to go for work when he realised his car keys and house keys were in the pocket of his jacket. Sadly, he realised this approximately 5 minutes after the refuse collection lorry had passed by and his bins had been emptied..
t).My friend got lots of strange looks as he trudged home from the park, dripping and squelching. His dignity was further compromised when his wife made him strip off to his boxers in the mews street before she would let him in. She also decided to throw his jacket in the bin because it was so disgusting.
Next morning, my friend was getting ready to go for work when he realised his car keys and house keys were in the pocket of his jacket. Sadly, he realised this approximately 5 minutes after the refuse collection lorry had passed by and his bins had been emptied..
My friend managed to misplace the keys to his brand new Nissan GTR in the middle of a campsite in Le Mans a few years ago (back when the GTR was new out). Various phone calls to dealer to work out if they had been locked in the boot followed. Once it was established that this wasn't possible, it meant my friend calling his girlfriend at home in Edinburgh and getting her to catch the first flight to Paris where he and another friend picked her and a spare set of keys up and drove back to LM.
The missing keys turned up about an hour after they all arrived back at the campsite. Girlfriend not hugely impressed, somewhat understandably.
The missing keys turned up about an hour after they all arrived back at the campsite. Girlfriend not hugely impressed, somewhat understandably.
I... My friend says that he had quite a lot of stress at work when this happened by way of explanation.
But after a pub meal with my other half, my daughter and her boyfriend, we asked if the daughter wanted any shopping from Asda as we were passing. Which she did.
After about 20 minutes she'd got what she needed and was paying, and I was having some difficulty finding my keys - retraced my steps on the aisles and was getting increasingly worried.
As a last resort I went back to the car to see if I'd dropped them as I got out.
The car was still there. With the doors unlocked. And the engine runing, with the keys in the ignition.
How the car managed to last 20+ minutes in Keighley Asda's car park at 10pm with the engine running and nobody around without getting stolen I don't know, but I got some grief of the other half.
But after a pub meal with my other half, my daughter and her boyfriend, we asked if the daughter wanted any shopping from Asda as we were passing. Which she did.
After about 20 minutes she'd got what she needed and was paying, and I was having some difficulty finding my keys - retraced my steps on the aisles and was getting increasingly worried.
As a last resort I went back to the car to see if I'd dropped them as I got out.
The car was still there. With the doors unlocked. And the engine runing, with the keys in the ignition.
How the car managed to last 20+ minutes in Keighley Asda's car park at 10pm with the engine running and nobody around without getting stolen I don't know, but I got some grief of the other half.
shandyboy said:
I... My friend says that he had quite a lot of stress at work when this happened by way of explanation.
But after a pub meal with my other half, my daughter and her boyfriend, we asked if the daughter wanted any shopping from Asda as we were passing. Which she did.
After about 20 minutes she'd got what she needed and was paying, and I was having some difficulty finding my keys - retraced my steps on the aisles and was getting increasingly worried.
As a last resort I went back to the car to see if I'd dropped them as I got out.
The car was still there. With the doors unlocked. And the engine runing, with the keys in the ignition.
How the car managed to last 20+ minutes in Keighley Asda's car park at 10pm with the engine running and nobody around without getting stolen I don't know, but I got some grief of the other half.
...but what did your friend do?But after a pub meal with my other half, my daughter and her boyfriend, we asked if the daughter wanted any shopping from Asda as we were passing. Which she did.
After about 20 minutes she'd got what she needed and was paying, and I was having some difficulty finding my keys - retraced my steps on the aisles and was getting increasingly worried.
As a last resort I went back to the car to see if I'd dropped them as I got out.
The car was still there. With the doors unlocked. And the engine runing, with the keys in the ignition.
How the car managed to last 20+ minutes in Keighley Asda's car park at 10pm with the engine running and nobody around without getting stolen I don't know, but I got some grief of the other half.
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