What has your "friend" been up to?

[CB2152]

My friend had an upgraded exhaust section fitted today. Apparently he decided to test the newfound responsiveness on an empty section of ring road. He says that he decided to stop when it hit 4500 rpm.
Apparently his 9-5 Aero was travelling quite quickly because he was in 5th, when he thought he was in 4th. He tells me he will check more thoroughly which gear he's in before trying it again.

[Alfa numeric]

My friend once got from the M1 end of the M45 to the roundabout at the other in less than one song on the radio. That's just under 8 miles in just under 3 1/2 minutes.

His wife told him that it was a very silly thing to do, and I agree with her. But in his defence she had asked him how fast the car could go...

[bomma220]

Alfa numeric said:

My friend once got from the M1 end of the M45 to the roundabout at the other in less than one song on the radio. That's just under 8 miles in just under 3 1/2 minutes.

His wife told him that it was a very silly thing to do, and I agree with her. But in his defence she had asked him how fast the car could go...

Maybe your friend was listening to the full length version of American Pie (it was played on R2 recently) which is about 8 1/2 minutes long? Does he perchance have a K reg Micra?

[New POD]

rolando said:

shandyboy said:

How the car managed to last 20+ minutes in Keighley Asda's car park at 10pm with the engine running and nobody around without getting stolen I don't know, but I got some grief of the other half.

...but what did your friend do?

His friend Once had a job in Keighley, and the factory was across the road from the Worth Valley Railway (think the railway children), and at lunch times used to go and watch the steam trains whilst he ate his sad sandwich. One hot summer's day he fell asleep on the bench, and woke up 2 hours later, looking like a lobster. Meanwhile back at work his boss had become concerned about the missing friend, and had organised a search party to find him. My friend was going to get a ballocking, but his boss couldn't stop laughing, so it was agreed he could take the piss mercilessly for a week, and the verbal warning for time keeping would be avoided.

Stupid thing was that my friend lived near Settle, backing onto the Leeds to Carlise Railway, and regularly had steam trains going past his back garden.

[anonymous-user]

My friend, in his single years, sought to impress his new new hot actress girlfriend by taking her flying, but, having landed at an airfield west of London for tea and buns, lost the keys for the aeroplane in the grass somewhere between the aircraft parking area and the club house, and had to escort said glamourous squeeze back to London on a slow train full of giffers and grockles. # Jetset lifestyle

[trashbat]

Has your friend considered tying all his keys to a piece of string? Perhaps he could use the one that keeps his mittens together.

[anonymous-user]

I have not told you of my friend's many misfortunes with mittens. Better not to go there!

[rex]

My friend went through a time at work where he was working very long and stressful hours. He worked closely with his nurse (lets call her Lisa) upto 12 hours a day. One night he rolled over in bed and put his arm round his wife (lets call her jemma) and uttered the words "are you still awake Lisa.

Thankfully my friend is still alive.

[anonymous-user]

I had best not tell you how my friend's previous marriage came to its end. The words "Feydeau-esque French farce" spring to mind.

[mikal83]

My friend reads posts like this and thinks, is the OP 12 years old.

[anonymous-user]

12? My friend has yet to reach such a level of maturity. As for the OP, I have long ago given up hope as far as he is concerned.

[wst]

Alfa numeric said:

My friend once got from the M1 end of the M45 to the roundabout at the other in less than one song on the radio. That's just under 8 miles in just under 3 1/2 minutes.

His wife told him that it was a very silly thing to do, and I agree with her. But in his defence she had asked him how fast the car could go...

My friend used to travel a section of road every day and had it down to a 4 minute song by the time his commute changed. It's about 4 miles but it's also a B-road, and he had a mere 1.2 litres of 4 cylinderical fury to pull him along.

My friend later gained some common sense for the tight and unsighted end of that run. The open and flowing first bit of that run, though...

[danzman1991]

My friend once overtook a car on an A Road in the dark, it was a perfectly safe manoeuvre until he suddenly saw a man walking in completely black clothing and must have missed hitting/killing him by millimetres.

My friend sure will never forget that moment of sheer panic!

[Jasandjules]

My friend once had a call from his friend saying he needed to get there "now". He then drove the 8 miles in about 1/3 of the time it would normally take him. It was 2am and the roads were fairly clear. Upon arrival my friend discovered there was in fact no emergency at all, his other friend had just brought his new car home and wanted to show it off....

[GC8]

Did you friends friend end up with a thick ear?

[anonymous-user]

My, er, friend recently bought himself a 1976 Land Rover, as one does. He used to own an old Landy some years ago, had done the course, read the book, and blah, blah, blah. He decided to impress his daughter with his WKD OVROAD SKLLZ BRAH, and hooned off along a local farm track right at the bottom of a hill, that is acting as a sump for all the rainwater (it has apparently rained a bit recently, who knew?) This amazingly sensible plan was given added panache by the fact that the Landy was loaded up with a spare gearbox and a load of other assorted tat, some of it a bit heavy.

Mr Super Skills promptly got stuck in a very boggy and rutty bit of the track. It then started to bucket down, to add to the fun. Much wheel spinning, mud flinging and getting all steamed up later, my fiend finally calmed down, remembered his training and GTFO using low revs, high gear and much slooooooownesss. His daughter preserved her sang froid throughout the adventure, but she is used to her daddy being a bit of a knob.

At one point before applying the Staff Solution to his self inflicted problem my friend convinced himself that one of the freewheeling hubs was stuck in the 2WD position and could be seen hitting it with a metal bar to free it.

He forgot to take a photo of the Landy when it was stuck, regrettably. Off to the jet wash afterwards and removed approx 14 metric st-tonnes of congealed mud from the wheel arches.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNybnRkj-MY

Edited by anonymous-user on Thursday 20th February 17:29

[A.J.M]

My friend once spun his first car down a dual carriageway on rainy night while taking emergency action to avoid a 306 that tried to occupy the same space of road. Said friend managed to miss the 306, the KA behind, a kerb and other roadside junk while spinning happily to a stop facing the kerb.

Said friend once while trying to show off his new to him 4x4 in the snow, got it stuck, as he drove into a sloped area that was a foot deep with ice under it. To add to this happy mess, was a very large dry stone wall behind him. Which kept getting closer with very attempt to get back up said slope..
The escape was, i'm told, not glamourous or mechanically friendly but the wall didn't get to hug the 4x4.

This friend once also went for a night out in Glasgow, got totally slaughtered and thought that going to see the girl at work he was trying to get in with. Was a good idea. He eventually got the bouncer to let him in, despite being clearly wkered. Spoke to said girl for 5 mins before heading to the toilets to be sick, then was lead out the toilets by said girl and escorted out the premises. He was walked around some streets by said girl in a useless attempt to bring a touch of soberness to him, before being bundled into a taxi which was paid by the girls remaining cash, meaning she had to call her dad to pick her up. At 3am..
This friend while being walked about, reportedly asked the girl, in a very loud voice in front of 2 police officers, " The next time i see you, will i need condoms? "

Somehow, they ended up a couple for over a year...

[jaisharma]

A friend in a maestro 1.3 was following a real friend in a 1.6 cortina. An imp made up the third car in the convoy. Cortina stopped in a lay-by as did maestro. Imp caught up. Cortina moved forward. Friend driving maestro mindful of power disadvantage executed perfect getaway. Friend in maestro surprised by loud bang. Friend in cortina surprised by the impact.
Cortina written off. Maestro written off. Quite an eventful day for said friend who had passed his test about 8 hours before.
Friends dad who owned maestro surprisingly understanding though friend may have omitted the wheelspin part.

[jaisharma]

A friend also did a quick change of front pads on his Fulvia. Quick when you consider that you have to unbolt the caliper. Wheels back on, fire up the engine and quickly turn the car around.
Friend always careful to pump the brakes after changing pads after this incident. Parental garden fence successor grateful for this lesson

[Bill]

A friend of mine did that to his girlfriend's car and somehow managed to forget the brakes were disconnected during the course of a three point turn and hit the fence just as his gf arrived to see how he was getting on.