What has your "friend" been up to?
Discussion
I was reminded of this one by the DIY tree felling thread.
Several years ago, my friend had cause to fell a tree outside his mother's house as it was damaging the building. The tree was a reasonable size - around 6-8" diameter and probably as tall as the house. Luckily he was able to borrow a petrol chainsaw from a kind work colleague and after some brief expalnations on how to the work the thing he set off to do the deed.
It was a quiet Friday morning and there was no-one about on the street where the house was located, so my friend decided to go for it. He started the chainsaw and commenced the cut, after a few minutes the tree started to creak and lean over - fortunately away from the house and onto the road.
At that moment, out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a car entering the street! In a split second my friend finished the cut, turned off the chainsaw and ran shouting and waving his arms out onto the road. The car came to an abrupt halt a couple of metres from where the tree fell and blocked the road. My friend sheepishly apologised to the driver and slowly dragged the tree out of the way whilst being sworn at from the car.
Several years ago, my friend had cause to fell a tree outside his mother's house as it was damaging the building. The tree was a reasonable size - around 6-8" diameter and probably as tall as the house. Luckily he was able to borrow a petrol chainsaw from a kind work colleague and after some brief expalnations on how to the work the thing he set off to do the deed.
It was a quiet Friday morning and there was no-one about on the street where the house was located, so my friend decided to go for it. He started the chainsaw and commenced the cut, after a few minutes the tree started to creak and lean over - fortunately away from the house and onto the road.
At that moment, out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a car entering the street! In a split second my friend finished the cut, turned off the chainsaw and ran shouting and waving his arms out onto the road. The car came to an abrupt halt a couple of metres from where the tree fell and blocked the road. My friend sheepishly apologised to the driver and slowly dragged the tree out of the way whilst being sworn at from the car.
hairy v said:
I was reminded of this one by the DIY tree felling thread.
Several years ago, my friend had cause to fell a tree outside his mother's house as it was damaging the building. The tree was a reasonable size - around 6-8" diameter and probably as tall as the house. Luckily he was able to borrow a petrol chainsaw from a kind work colleague and after some brief expalnations on how to the work the thing he set off to do the deed.
It was a quiet Friday morning and there was no-one about on the street where the house was located, so my friend decided to go for it. He started the chainsaw and commenced the cut, after a few minutes the tree started to creak and lean over - fortunately away from the house and onto the road.
At that moment, out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a car entering the street! In a split second my friend finished the cut, turned off the chainsaw and ran shouting and waving his arms out onto the road. The car came to an abrupt halt a couple of metres from where the tree fell and blocked the road. My friend sheepishly apologised to the driver and slowly dragged the tree out of the way whilst being sworn at from the car.
Your friend did well there!Several years ago, my friend had cause to fell a tree outside his mother's house as it was damaging the building. The tree was a reasonable size - around 6-8" diameter and probably as tall as the house. Luckily he was able to borrow a petrol chainsaw from a kind work colleague and after some brief expalnations on how to the work the thing he set off to do the deed.
It was a quiet Friday morning and there was no-one about on the street where the house was located, so my friend decided to go for it. He started the chainsaw and commenced the cut, after a few minutes the tree started to creak and lean over - fortunately away from the house and onto the road.
At that moment, out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a car entering the street! In a split second my friend finished the cut, turned off the chainsaw and ran shouting and waving his arms out onto the road. The car came to an abrupt halt a couple of metres from where the tree fell and blocked the road. My friend sheepishly apologised to the driver and slowly dragged the tree out of the way whilst being sworn at from the car.
My friend once got into a heated conversation when packing the truck for a drag racing event; the subject was if they did indeed need to bring a chainsaw to Santa Pod. In the end the argument For won out: "What if we get there and we are the only ones who DIDN'T bring a chainsaw?!"
At the event, my friend was seen drunkenly operating said chainsaw while a stout associate held firm the logs, ready for the evenings fire pit.
It turned out these antics had been witnessed by many, many people from the grandstands and were mentioned in a number of future publications.
My friend decided to top up the pressure in his central heating system. He got distracted fiddling with other controls and over pressurised it. Water began pouring through the ceiling. Almost excusable you’d have thought - but the moron did exactly the same thing the year before.
To make matters worse, when he tried to relieve the pressure, the pipe shot off the spigot, flooding the utility room too.
His wife was not impressed.
To make matters worse, when he tried to relieve the pressure, the pipe shot off the spigot, flooding the utility room too.
His wife was not impressed.
My friend loves Christmas, but hates the domestic chores required in its build up.
My friend's wife took the kids to the cinema this morning leaving my friend to make a start on the wrapping.
Sadly my friend soon became distracted and instead wisely spent his time upgrading the headlights and fitting the sparkling new steering wheel he won on eBay to the Triumph GT6 he owns, which is identical to umm... mine.
Upon returning the kids, my friend's wife then disappeared for the rest of the afternoon to complete her shopping, leaving my friend just enough time to refit the driver's door window and replace some heater ducts in said GT6.
My friend expects a beating when the non-wrapping is discovered.
My friend's wife took the kids to the cinema this morning leaving my friend to make a start on the wrapping.
Sadly my friend soon became distracted and instead wisely spent his time upgrading the headlights and fitting the sparkling new steering wheel he won on eBay to the Triumph GT6 he owns, which is identical to umm... mine.
Upon returning the kids, my friend's wife then disappeared for the rest of the afternoon to complete her shopping, leaving my friend just enough time to refit the driver's door window and replace some heater ducts in said GT6.
My friend expects a beating when the non-wrapping is discovered.
My friend has history of doing his wrapping as Xmas Eve becomes Xmas day … usually while full of the seasonal cheer (pissed).
One year he gave up on the wrapping as it was late/tired/more than merry. Most of the presents came in nice/branded bags …. Which he is not allowed to forget, and a not so gentle reminder each year so it does not happen again.
ETA … my friend is said moron from the post above …
One year he gave up on the wrapping as it was late/tired/more than merry. Most of the presents came in nice/branded bags …. Which he is not allowed to forget, and a not so gentle reminder each year so it does not happen again.
ETA … my friend is said moron from the post above …
Edited by seyre1972 on Saturday 24th December 09:24
Edited by seyre1972 on Saturday 24th December 11:58
My friend had to make a new account for reasons relating to his technical incompetence, but he always enjoyed this thread so thought it fitting to post here first.
He had one (or two, or three) too many whiskeys last night while contemplating the impending breakdown of his marriage. He now has an absolutely awful hangover and faces 3 days of playing happy families so as not to upset anyone. My friend wishes he could crawl back into bed and hide under the duvet until Christmas is over, but sadly having a young child means he must at least pretend to get into the spirit.
My friend’s New Year’s resolutions include a considerable amount of social drinking and enthusiastic test driving, which he hopes he can fulfil.
Season’s greetings to all your friends!
He had one (or two, or three) too many whiskeys last night while contemplating the impending breakdown of his marriage. He now has an absolutely awful hangover and faces 3 days of playing happy families so as not to upset anyone. My friend wishes he could crawl back into bed and hide under the duvet until Christmas is over, but sadly having a young child means he must at least pretend to get into the spirit.
My friend’s New Year’s resolutions include a considerable amount of social drinking and enthusiastic test driving, which he hopes he can fulfil.
Season’s greetings to all your friends!
My "friend" attempted to turn his Range Rover around on some very wet field grass in the dark last night. This would not have been a problem except the said vehicle is on Toyo Proxes Road tyres and when my friend alighted from rhe vehicle he realised it was up to it's axles on one side. In fact, he said he sank up to his ankles in mud when he got out.
Discretion being the better part of valour, he has left said Range Rover in place and is apparently now checking out YouTube videos on how to extricate said vehicle. He might let me post pics for your merriment later.
Discretion being the better part of valour, he has left said Range Rover in place and is apparently now checking out YouTube videos on how to extricate said vehicle. He might let me post pics for your merriment later.
Jordie Barretts sock said:
My "friend" attempted to turn his Range Rover around on some very wet field grass in the dark last night. This would not have been a problem except the said vehicle is on Toyo Proxes Road tyres and when my friend alighted from rhe vehicle he realised it was up to it's axles on one side. In fact, he said he sank up to his ankles in mud when he got out.
Discretion being the better part of valour, he has left said Range Rover in place and is apparently now checking out YouTube videos on how to extricate said vehicle. He might let me post pics for your merriment later.
Your friend sounds like my friend who got his wife’s Freelander stuck in the snow a few years ago. He thought Land Rovers could get through anything. He looked a bit of a chump when he was wrong!Discretion being the better part of valour, he has left said Range Rover in place and is apparently now checking out YouTube videos on how to extricate said vehicle. He might let me post pics for your merriment later.
AstonZagato said:
My friend decided to top up the pressure in his central heating system. He got distracted fiddling with other controls and over pressurised it. Water began pouring through the ceiling. Almost excusable you’d have thought - but the moron did exactly the same thing the year before.
To make matters worse, when he tried to relieve the pressure, the pipe shot off the spigot, flooding the utility room too.
His wife was not impressed.
To make matters worse, when he tried to relieve the pressure, the pipe shot off the spigot, flooding the utility room too.
His wife was not impressed.
RammyMP said:
Jordie Barretts sock said:
My "friend" attempted to turn his Range Rover around on some very wet field grass in the dark last night. This would not have been a problem except the said vehicle is on Toyo Proxes Road tyres and when my friend alighted from rhe vehicle he realised it was up to it's axles on one side. In fact, he said he sank up to his ankles in mud when he got out.
Discretion being the better part of valour, he has left said Range Rover in place and is apparently now checking out YouTube videos on how to extricate said vehicle. He might let me post pics for your merriment later.
Your friend sounds like my friend who got his wife’s Freelander stuck in the snow a few years ago. He thought Land Rovers could get through anything. He looked a bit of a chump when he was wrong!Discretion being the better part of valour, he has left said Range Rover in place and is apparently now checking out YouTube videos on how to extricate said vehicle. He might let me post pics for your merriment later.
My "friend"'s ones must have been slightly different, as it needed a JCB to pull it out of the forest tracks
Jordie Barretts sock said:
My friend has permitted the following... 
My friend feels somewhat foolish and may well invest in some offroad tyres for winter activities.
My friend did the same as you a few years back and with hindsight realised AT tyres would have made little difference, the car is too heavy for a sodden field.My friend feels somewhat foolish and may well invest in some offroad tyres for winter activities.
My friends wrapping prowess is deadful; in fact he believes Stevie Wonder could do a better job. One year he decided that it would be better to put all the presents in a black refuse sack and offer it to his good Lady telling her it was his version of a lucky dip. His very understanding partner wasn't THAT understanding that Christmas Day
Since then my friend has returned to his coventional, useless, wrapping although Sackgate is often brought up
Since then my friend has returned to his coventional, useless, wrapping although Sackgate is often brought up
Edited by Roman Moroni on Saturday 24th December 14:58
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