What has your "friend" been up to?

What has your "friend" been up to?

Author
Discussion

Chris Stott

13,180 posts

196 months

Friday 21st February 2014
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My friend was a bit of a knob in his younger days.

Spun his 1st car (a Hillman Avenger) within 20 minutes of buying it, on a main road, at rush hour. After fishtailing, eventually ended up on the nearside pavement facing the way he’d come from. Missed everything.

Got caught at 104mph in a 30 limit at 18 years old. Then got caught by the same copper 3 weeks later racing another car... somehow got away with it on both occasions.

Almost killed himself and his brother when racing another car late at night. Lost control on a left hand bend at c.80mph and understeered in to the side of a brand new Audi coming in the opposite direction. Luckily for my friend, when the Police turned up the driver of the Audi was over the DD limit and my friend got away scott free even though he was clearly at fault.

Handbraked his company car round a junction late at night, spun in to someone’s drive, knocking their gate off its hinges and drove off. Noticed the incident was mentioned in the local paper later that week – ‘Police bid to trace driver’. Drove to another town, paid cash for a new rear bumper for his company car at the main dealers and fitted it himself.

Designed, made and fitted a sump guard to his Cavalier company car and entered a road rally. Was chuffed with finishing 20th out of 60 entrants. Not so chuffed a couple of weeks later when his boss presented him with a letter sent to the leasing company from the Police, entitled ‘further to the above motorsport event in which your car was involved’ and asking for details of who was driving said Cavalier when it was spotted travelling at 106mph on an unclassified road at 3am. Received a written warning.

Racked up 15 points in 12 months in his Impreza Series McRae company car. Also did a couple of track days in the Impreza.

Got caught for speeding 7 times in 9 months whilst living in LA, including once by a state trooper for undertaking at >120mph on the hardshoulder of I15 coming back from Vegas on a Sunday afternoon. Used his British accent to talk his way out of it.

Fortunately, my friend calmed down a bit when he passed 30 and got married.

43034

2,963 posts

167 months

Friday 21st February 2014
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Chris Stott said:
Designed, made and fitted a sump guard to his Cavalier company car and entered a road rally. Was chuffed with finishing 20th out of 60 entrants. Not so chuffed a couple of weeks later when his boss presented him with a letter sent to the leasing company from the Police, entitled ‘further to the above motorsport event in which your car was involved’ and asking for details of who was driving said Cavalier when it was spotted travelling at 106mph on an unclassified road at 3am. Received a written warning.
That is great hehe

Roman Moroni

942 posts

122 months

Friday 21st February 2014
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Back in the mid 80's my friend was at home one Sunday lunchtime when 2 of his other friends came knocking and asked if he wanted to go out in one of their Dad's car. As my friend was bored he agreed. For the next 2 hours said driver showed his driving prowess was not very good (i.e doughnuts on the playing fields etc, excessive speed, not taking much notice of red lights). My friend then got dropped off home and did not give it much thought.

After many years reflecting, my friend has come to the conclusion that the car may or may not have belonged to the other friends Father, although he suspects not. And whoever it did belong too probably didn't give the driver permission to drive it. Suffice to say that friend later spent several months living in a small room, with a bunk beds & bars on the window, playing Mummies & Daddies with his new frend called Mr Big

Tara llems

73 posts

126 months

Tuesday 15th April 2014
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Fell in love with an escort. Left everything for her.

Not the Ford variety.

MH

1,239 posts

265 months

Tuesday 15th April 2014
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My mate went out with his mates to a party in his ancient Beetle. Accelerator cable snapped but he was ok, one of his mates volunteered to sit on the rear bumper and operate the carb while my mate shouted instructions out the drivers window. Think they got up to about 45 mph on the way home biggrin

lamboman100

1,445 posts

120 months

Tuesday 15th April 2014
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Great thread.

A "friend" honked and w***er-signed a tinted Range Rover after it badly cut them up at a roundabout around club-closing time... Rearseat passenger in RR promptly winds down window and points a sawnoff at the car... A 5-minute chase ensues (felt like an hour) as said friend puts the hammer down to shake them off and avoid the Swiss-cheese look.

TeaNoSugar

1,229 posts

164 months

Tuesday 15th April 2014
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Alfa numeric said:
My friend once got from the M1 end of the M45 to the roundabout at the other in less than one song on the radio. That's just under 8 miles in just under 3 1/2 minutes.

His wife told him that it was a very silly thing to do, and I agree with her. But in his defence she had asked him how fast the car could go...
A friend of mine has in the past used the M45 as his "top speed proving ground" with many of his cars, though I'm reliably told he doesn't do silly things like that any more, not since his wife woke up on the way back from London late one night to find they were travelling at 135mph, and he's never certainly managed to do the whole thing in 3.5 minutes. Well done your "friend", he must've really been getting a move on!

etchacan

117 posts

186 months

Wednesday 16th April 2014
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My friends first car was a 1979 Mk1 Fiesta, with the snarling 950cc engine and 4 on the floor. 2 months after buying it, my friend was racing a Nova down a back road at lunchtime, and discovered that winter tyres in summer are not the best things to have when overtaking said Nova on the outside of a bend in the wet. My friends Fiesta promtly understeered into a drystone dyke, bounced off it back into the Nova, back into the dyke, back into the Nove etc etc. My friend then had to endure the shame of having the remains of said Fiesta dropped off in his works car park by the local tow truck to an audience of pretty much everyone who worked there. My friend then discovered that the Fiesta was made mostly body filler, fibreglass and iron oxide. Fortunately my friend had a similarly rusty Mk1 Astra waiting in the wings to carry in the style to which he had become accustomed!

Not long after, my friend had a Nova (the 1.2 Super-Duper, remember them?) that he spent long hours moving the rust about on it. After one of its many rebuilds, my friend was going round a large roundabout one night when his steering wheel became rather free-spinning. Fortunately my friend managed to bump it up onto the verge at a funny angle and set about investigating the problem. Upside down on his drivers seat. Head under the dash, spanner in hand. Did I mention at night? With no torch. Cue the inevitable knock on the window some minutes later from Plod, enquiring to my friends state of mind and general well-being. Sharp as a nail, my friend realised Plod had a chuffin' great Maglite in his hand, so asked to borrow said Maglite for a few minutes. He then found the steering column clamp he'd forgotten to tighten, or in fact even attach, earlier that day. After being invited to share the comforts of the patrol car for a short while, and an explanation, documents check and breathalyser later, my friend was allowed to resume his journey.




Edited by etchacan on Wednesday 16th April 07:38


Edited by etchacan on Wednesday 16th April 07:39

Pan Pan

1,116 posts

126 months

Wednesday 16th April 2014
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Whilst on a long road trip my `friend' had cause to use one those new automatic toilet booths in Market Downham. On entering my `friend' discovered a 1 metre wide stainless steel bowl, which had two L shaped arms the he had to pull down to sit on. After completing the business. he noticed an instruction plate on the inside of the door, so leaned forward to read it. At this point one of the arms slipped upward catching my `friends' underpants, dragging him back towards the stainless steel bowl as it rose to its starting position against the back wall of the booth. This triggered a shower of cold water used to flush the bowl, which then turned to (very) hot water (for hand washing) over my `friends' a*se, followed by a gale of hot air (meant for drying hands) going up my `friends' jacksie. needless to say, I, oops! sorry, my `friend' made a mental note, never to go in one of those things ever again

Alfa numeric

3,021 posts

178 months

Wednesday 16th April 2014
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TeaNoSugar said:
Alfa numeric said:
My friend once got from the M1 end of the M45 to the roundabout at the other in less than one song on the radio. That's just under 8 miles in just under 3 1/2 minutes.

His wife told him that it was a very silly thing to do, and I agree with her. But in his defence she had asked him how fast the car could go...
A friend of mine has in the past used the M45 as his "top speed proving ground" with many of his cars, though I'm reliably told he doesn't do silly things like that any more, not since his wife woke up on the way back from London late one night to find they were travelling at 135mph, and he's never certainly managed to do the whole thing in 3.5 minutes. Well done your "friend", he must've really been getting a move on!
It was all going fine until about half way along when the car hit a ridge in the road. At 70 it's barely noticable- I'm told by my friend that at twice that it causes the car to feel like it's taken off and flown for about 100 yards. At which point his wife calmy told him that he'd made his point and now would he mind awfully slowing the fk down.

Rollcage

11,327 posts

191 months

Wednesday 16th April 2014
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I have a friend who once managed to get from the Hammersmith flyover to Torquay in 2hrs 40 minutes, in a brand new Mercedes CLK that had a disconnected speedometer.

Blown2CV

28,695 posts

202 months

Wednesday 16th April 2014
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Tara llems said:
Fell in love with an escort. Left everything for her.

Not the Ford variety.
Well you can't just leave that there

surveyor

17,767 posts

183 months

Wednesday 16th April 2014
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My friend had to visit a site yesterday that was down a farm track. After the third bottoming out he decided to leave his hire car and walk....

gforceg

3,524 posts

178 months

Wednesday 16th April 2014
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Rollcage said:
I have a friend who once managed to get from the Hammersmith flyover to Torquay in 2hrs 40 minutes, in a brand new Mercedes CLK that had a disconnected speedometer.
Your friend did very well!

My friend once made it from Parliament Square to Salisbury in 1 hour and 17 minutes. But that was in the 80s when they were closer together...

Blib

43,790 posts

196 months

Wednesday 16th April 2014
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gforceg said:
Your friend did very well!

My friend once made it from Parliament Square to Salisbury in 1 hour and 17 minutes. But that was in the 80s when they were closer together...
hehe

Burnham

3,668 posts

258 months

Wednesday 16th April 2014
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My friend didn't send off his provisional license after passing his test.

He got pulled over and the plod had no record of him having a full license. They asked if he could remember sending it off after passing.

As he passed his test in 1984 his honest reply was 'I don't actually remember, but obviously not'.

zarjaz1991

3,471 posts

122 months

Wednesday 16th April 2014
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My friend's first car was an old Focus, which he apparently parked in a railway station car park that was divided into two by short concrete bollards, one of which was in front of his car.

He duly got in his car to drive off, forgot the bollard was there, and it ripped the offside wing off.

Stupid dhead he was. Shouldnt be trusted with more valuable cars.

The Nur

9,168 posts

184 months

Wednesday 16th April 2014
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My friend jumped in to his car the other day, closed the door too quickly and damned near ripped his right ear off as he sat down.

He will be more careful in future as it hurt like hell and continued to do so for weeks.

Edited by The Nur on Wednesday 16th April 14:24

IN51GHT

8,777 posts

209 months

Wednesday 16th April 2014
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I try to avoid having friends, it means I can hate everybody equally that way!!!!!

WreckedGecko

1,191 posts

200 months

Wednesday 16th April 2014
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My "friend" took his father's E-Type for a short jaunt around some country roads to try and impress the local tart.

He then parked up in a field to "enjoy the view", got stuck (the car in the field, not the friend in the tart) and had to ask a mate to come drag them out.

By this time it was rather late and in an effort to get the precious car back to the garage ahead of his father's return he drove in a more spirited manner than perhaps a 1972 Jag with a spotty service history should be driven.

End result was having to explain why the precious E-Type had arches full of grass and mud, a nice scrape on the front and less than a week later, why the gear box shat itself.

He didn't even get his end away, because he, "really liked her". The prick.