What has your "friend" been up to?
Discussion
AndrewGP said:
My friend’s advancing years and the recent cold snap have prompted him to start choosing the keys to the sensible, quiet and refined Volvo XC60 (complete with heated seats and heated steering wheel) rather than the keys to the more PH oriented Porsche Cayman with a manual ‘box and sports exhaust. I’ve tried to have a word, but he’s having absolutely none of it 
Your friend has become very sensible in old age, do pass him my congratulations 
My friend is wondering whether to remove the forks from his motorbike.
He wonders whether this early start to fixing them will have any influence on getting them back on the bike just before or just after all the nice weather this ( and possibly next) year.
His backup plan - shoud the inevitabe happen - is to buy another bike, which I'm sure will be thought of as a good plan by his friends.
He wonders whether this early start to fixing them will have any influence on getting them back on the bike just before or just after all the nice weather this ( and possibly next) year.
His backup plan - shoud the inevitabe happen - is to buy another bike, which I'm sure will be thought of as a good plan by his friends.
talksthetorque said:
My friend is wondering whether to remove the forks from his motorbike.
He wonders whether this early start to fixing them will have any influence on getting them back on the bike just before or just after all the nice weather this ( and possibly next) year.
His backup plan - shoud the inevitabe happen - is to buy another bike, which I'm sure will be thought of as a good plan by his friends.
Tell your friend that he should both crack on with removing the forks and also start looking for another motorbike. Its never good to have to do these things under a time constraint. Besides, if your friend only owns one motorbike then he is quite possibly delinquent in as much as it takes at least 3 before its a collection and 5 before its classed as an obsession. He wonders whether this early start to fixing them will have any influence on getting them back on the bike just before or just after all the nice weather this ( and possibly next) year.
His backup plan - shoud the inevitabe happen - is to buy another bike, which I'm sure will be thought of as a good plan by his friends.
My friend owns rather more than that, but in a commercial capacity so it doesn't really count. However, he also has a friend who owns 9 or 10 of the things privately - but then he is single!
My friend lost one of his car keys- I reminded him to check pockets of jackets and coats and stuff and sure enough he found it in a fleece that had been through the wash. The key worked in the ignition but would not alarm/unlock the car so I helped him change the batteries then ribbed him about what a lucky git he was when it all worked again…
… and what a stupid sod he was for putting the keys through the wash.
… and what a stupid sod he was for putting the keys through the wash.
Wombat3 said:
talksthetorque said:
My friend is wondering whether to remove the forks from his motorbike.
He wonders whether this early start to fixing them will have any influence on getting them back on the bike just before or just after all the nice weather this ( and possibly next) year.
His backup plan - shoud the inevitabe happen - is to buy another bike, which I'm sure will be thought of as a good plan by his friends.
Tell your friend that he should both crack on with removing the forks and also start looking for another motorbike. Its never good to have to do these things under a time constraint. Besides, if your friend only owns one motorbike then he is quite possibly delinquent in as much as it takes at least 3 before its a collection and 5 before its classed as an obsession. He wonders whether this early start to fixing them will have any influence on getting them back on the bike just before or just after all the nice weather this ( and possibly next) year.
His backup plan - shoud the inevitabe happen - is to buy another bike, which I'm sure will be thought of as a good plan by his friends.
My friend owns rather more than that, but in a commercial capacity so it doesn't really count. However, he also has a friend who owns 9 or 10 of the things privately - but then he is single!
As the carpet tore as it came up, the floor itself is of course no good for laying laminate on to, having a 5mm ridge across the middle and has a crown of 40mm from corner to corner, and he will now have to replace the original carpet with more carpet and possibly lay plywood underneath to smooth it all out.
He is however thinking that the wipe clean vinyl tiles revealed underneath - coupled with the fact the room has a radiator - would make this a very suitable place to remove and work on the forks, thus delaying any nonsense such as carpet buying and furnishing the room, which would eat in to any hypothetical second motorbike budget.
talksthetorque said:
Wombat3 said:
talksthetorque said:
My friend is wondering whether to remove the forks from his motorbike.
He wonders whether this early start to fixing them will have any influence on getting them back on the bike just before or just after all the nice weather this ( and possibly next) year.
His backup plan - shoud the inevitabe happen - is to buy another bike, which I'm sure will be thought of as a good plan by his friends.
Tell your friend that he should both crack on with removing the forks and also start looking for another motorbike. Its never good to have to do these things under a time constraint. Besides, if your friend only owns one motorbike then he is quite possibly delinquent in as much as it takes at least 3 before its a collection and 5 before its classed as an obsession. He wonders whether this early start to fixing them will have any influence on getting them back on the bike just before or just after all the nice weather this ( and possibly next) year.
His backup plan - shoud the inevitabe happen - is to buy another bike, which I'm sure will be thought of as a good plan by his friends.
My friend owns rather more than that, but in a commercial capacity so it doesn't really count. However, he also has a friend who owns 9 or 10 of the things privately - but then he is single!
As the carpet tore as it came up, the floor itself is of course no good for laying laminate on to, having a 5mm ridge across the middle and has a crown of 40mm from corner to corner, and he will now have to replace the original carpet with more carpet and possibly lay plywood underneath to smooth it all out.
He is however thinking that the wipe clean vinyl tiles revealed underneath - coupled with the fact the room has a radiator - would make this a very suitable place to remove and work on the forks, thus delaying any nonsense such as carpet buying and furnishing the room, which would eat in to any hypothetical second motorbike budget.
McGee_22 said:
My friend lost one of his car keys- I reminded him to check pockets of jackets and coats and stuff and sure enough he found it in a fleece that had been through the wash. The key worked in the ignition but would not alarm/unlock the car so I helped him change the batteries then ribbed him about what a lucky git he was when it all worked again…
… and what a stupid sod he was for putting the keys through the wash.
My friend was washing his car with a fleece on and heard a “plop” into the bucket of soapy water. Turns out the fleece pockets aren’t very deep and the car keys went swimming. Modern Mercedes SLK keys are very water resistant. Dried it with a paper towel. All ok … and what a stupid sod he was for putting the keys through the wash.
Jordie Barretts sock said:
My "friend" attempted to turn his Range Rover around on some very wet field grass in the dark last night. This would not have been a problem except the said vehicle is on Toyo Proxes Road tyres and when my friend alighted from rhe vehicle he realised it was up to it's axles on one side. In fact, he said he sank up to his ankles in mud when he got out.
Discretion being the better part of valour, he has left said Range Rover in place and is apparently now checking out YouTube videos on how to extricate said vehicle. He might let me post pics for your merriment later.
My Friend is reminded of a similar series of events that happened to him many moons ago is his mothers Volvo 340.Discretion being the better part of valour, he has left said Range Rover in place and is apparently now checking out YouTube videos on how to extricate said vehicle. He might let me post pics for your merriment later.
My friend, who had recently passed his test, had asked to ‘nip out’ in said vehicle for some milk. My friend then proceeded to a nearby grassy field to see if he could drive sideways like a rally driver. As expected my friends car instantly became bogged down as soon as it entered the grassy area. It had been raining. The vehicle simply spun its rear wheels and made a mess. My friend tells me he had a rising sense of panic as his attempts to free the vehicle, in the dark and single handed came to nought. It was at this point my friend had the bright idea of jamming the accelerator pedal down with a hastily sourced stone enabling him to push and be aided with the engine. The Volvo in question was an automatic CVT type thingy and wouldn’t creep in drive, requiring quite a heavy stone to get the Volvo spinning its wheels.
As expected the inevitable happened and the Volvo took off across the field driverless and with the front door swinging open a bit like a chicken with a broken wing. My friend agreed with himself that things had taken a definite turn for the worse.
My friend set off across the field after the vehicle in a considerable state of alarm. Fortunately the vehicle bounced over some undulations in the field and the wheels turned to full lock causing the car to begin going round and round in circles with great rooster tails of mud a grass flying out from the rear wheels. My friend had now caught up the the rogue Volvo and began a farcical ‘dance’ with the pirouetting car attempting to climb inside as it circled mockingly around him. This went on for some time. My friends stylish 1980s slip on shoes were lost, and stumbling around in a muddy field in just his racy white sports socks was not helpful in the situation, particularly as he slowly acquired more and more mud. This resulted is the pitiful situation of my friend stumbling around virtually on all fours in the mud like a deer on an icy lake, getting heavier and heavier and flailing wildly at the open door as it sailed past him.
It was at this point that my friend became a little emotional, he was not having a great time - the Volvo however seemed to be having the time of its life.
In one final and exhausted lunge at the passing headlights - he could now barely see it so covered in field as he was - he was miraculously scooped up by the front of the Volvo and deposited, sat perfectly upright, upon the bonnet. The door, preventing from closing by the seatbelt buckle beckoned invitingly, and my friend, aided by youth swung his now 4 stone muddy clubbed feet into the Volvo and turned the key. Silence ensued, well silence broken by a loud repeated buzz and big red flashing light - “Seatbelt not on”. It was at this point my friend became emotional again.
Slow said:
Not to be that guy but that’s a l322 
Mine was on 2.5” (roughly) and 34” tyres, took it everywhere without issue. Towed many stuck vehicles out off road as well.
Would tow my plant trailer around in the fields and offroad tracks around the woods as well. Was better than my defender 90 on offroad tyres.
Edit:
Next to standard one.
Slow I think you responded on a thread I put in FB asking for feedback on strapping I think? Thank you btw if it was youMine was on 2.5” (roughly) and 34” tyres, took it everywhere without issue. Towed many stuck vehicles out off road as well.
Would tow my plant trailer around in the fields and offroad tracks around the woods as well. Was better than my defender 90 on offroad tyres.
Edit:
Next to standard one.
Edited by Slow on Sunday 25th December 19:17
Captain Answer said:
Slow said:
Not to be that guy but that’s a l322
Mine was on 2.5” (roughly) and 34” tyres, took it everywhere without issue. Towed many stuck vehicles out off road as well.
Would tow my plant trailer around in the fields and offroad tracks around the woods as well. Was better than my defender 90 on offroad tyres.
Edit:
Next to standard one.
Slow I think you responded on a thread I put in FB asking for feedback on strapping I think? Thank you btw if it was youMine was on 2.5” (roughly) and 34” tyres, took it everywhere without issue. Towed many stuck vehicles out off road as well.
Would tow my plant trailer around in the fields and offroad tracks around the woods as well. Was better than my defender 90 on offroad tyres.
Edit:
Next to standard one.
Edited by Slow on Sunday 25th December 19:17
Small world!
Romcom said:
My Friend is reminded of a similar series of events that happened to him many moons ago is his mothers Volvo 340.
My friend, who had recently passed his test, had asked to ‘nip out’ in said vehicle for some milk. My friend then proceeded to a nearby grassy field to see if he could drive sideways like a rally driver. As expected my friends car instantly became bogged down as soon as it entered the grassy area. It had been raining. The vehicle simply spun its rear wheels and made a mess. My friend tells me he had a rising sense of panic as his attempts to free the vehicle, in the dark and single handed came to nought. It was at this point my friend had the bright idea of jamming the accelerator pedal down with a hastily sourced stone enabling him to push and be aided with the engine. The Volvo in question was an automatic CVT type thingy and wouldn’t creep in drive, requiring quite a heavy stone to get the Volvo spinning its wheels.
As expected the inevitable happened and the Volvo took off across the field driverless and with the front door swinging open a bit like a chicken with a broken wing. My friend agreed with himself that things had taken a definite turn for the worse.
My friend set off across the field after the vehicle in a considerable state of alarm. Fortunately the vehicle bounced over some undulations in the field and the wheels turned to full lock causing the car to begin going round and round in circles with great rooster tails of mud a grass flying out from the rear wheels. My friend had now caught up the the rogue Volvo and began a farcical ‘dance’ with the pirouetting car attempting to climb inside as it circled mockingly around him. This went on for some time. My friends stylish 1980s slip on shoes were lost, and stumbling around in a muddy field in just his racy white sports socks was not helpful in the situation, particularly as he slowly acquired more and more mud. This resulted is the pitiful situation of my friend stumbling around virtually on all fours in the mud like a deer on an icy lake, getting heavier and heavier and flailing wildly at the open door as it sailed past him.
It was at this point that my friend became a little emotional, he was not having a great time - the Volvo however seemed to be having the time of its life.
In one final and exhausted lunge at the passing headlights - he could now barely see it so covered in field as he was - he was miraculously scooped up by the front of the Volvo and deposited, sat perfectly upright, upon the bonnet. The door, preventing from closing by the seatbelt buckle beckoned invitingly, and my friend, aided by youth swung his now 4 stone muddy clubbed feet into the Volvo and turned the key. Silence ensued, well silence broken by a loud repeated buzz and big red flashing light - “Seatbelt not on”. It was at this point my friend became emotional again.
My friend had a Volvo 340 CVT as his first car, and was initially somewhat surprised at its propensity to lurch sideways under even the most mild provocation in the wet. Apparently this first occurred when accompanied by some lady friends, amazingly without collecting another motorist or lamp-post. It thereafter occurred slightly more deliberately, until said CVT gearbox bowed out disgracefully on a blind bend somewhere near Goodwood. My friend also attempted to rally said 340, slightly more successfully (but far less amusingly) than your friend.My friend, who had recently passed his test, had asked to ‘nip out’ in said vehicle for some milk. My friend then proceeded to a nearby grassy field to see if he could drive sideways like a rally driver. As expected my friends car instantly became bogged down as soon as it entered the grassy area. It had been raining. The vehicle simply spun its rear wheels and made a mess. My friend tells me he had a rising sense of panic as his attempts to free the vehicle, in the dark and single handed came to nought. It was at this point my friend had the bright idea of jamming the accelerator pedal down with a hastily sourced stone enabling him to push and be aided with the engine. The Volvo in question was an automatic CVT type thingy and wouldn’t creep in drive, requiring quite a heavy stone to get the Volvo spinning its wheels.
As expected the inevitable happened and the Volvo took off across the field driverless and with the front door swinging open a bit like a chicken with a broken wing. My friend agreed with himself that things had taken a definite turn for the worse.
My friend set off across the field after the vehicle in a considerable state of alarm. Fortunately the vehicle bounced over some undulations in the field and the wheels turned to full lock causing the car to begin going round and round in circles with great rooster tails of mud a grass flying out from the rear wheels. My friend had now caught up the the rogue Volvo and began a farcical ‘dance’ with the pirouetting car attempting to climb inside as it circled mockingly around him. This went on for some time. My friends stylish 1980s slip on shoes were lost, and stumbling around in a muddy field in just his racy white sports socks was not helpful in the situation, particularly as he slowly acquired more and more mud. This resulted is the pitiful situation of my friend stumbling around virtually on all fours in the mud like a deer on an icy lake, getting heavier and heavier and flailing wildly at the open door as it sailed past him.
It was at this point that my friend became a little emotional, he was not having a great time - the Volvo however seemed to be having the time of its life.
In one final and exhausted lunge at the passing headlights - he could now barely see it so covered in field as he was - he was miraculously scooped up by the front of the Volvo and deposited, sat perfectly upright, upon the bonnet. The door, preventing from closing by the seatbelt buckle beckoned invitingly, and my friend, aided by youth swung his now 4 stone muddy clubbed feet into the Volvo and turned the key. Silence ensued, well silence broken by a loud repeated buzz and big red flashing light - “Seatbelt not on”. It was at this point my friend became emotional again.
Nothing extra to add to the story except ny friend's mother's (manual - she must have been a purist) 340 also ended up stuck in a field whilst my friend was driving.
The only place nearby to this happening was a local grass airfield, and its bar ( which was previously unknown to him) where he went to ask for help getting out- and lots of drunk middle aged men pushed the Volvo back on to the road up a fair muddy incline.
My friend was so impressed and enthralled by the glamour of the flying club and the lively social scene at the airfield that he regularly now becomes a drunk middle aged man in tribute to that night.
The only place nearby to this happening was a local grass airfield, and its bar ( which was previously unknown to him) where he went to ask for help getting out- and lots of drunk middle aged men pushed the Volvo back on to the road up a fair muddy incline.
My friend was so impressed and enthralled by the glamour of the flying club and the lively social scene at the airfield that he regularly now becomes a drunk middle aged man in tribute to that night.
talksthetorque said:
Nothing extra to add to the story except ny friend's mother's (manual - she must have been a purist) 340 also ended up stuck in a field whilst my friend was driving.
The only place nearby to this happening was a local grass airfield, and its bar ( which was previously unknown to him) where he went to ask for help getting out- and lots of drunk middle aged men pushed the Volvo back on to the road up a fair muddy incline.
My friend was so impressed and enthralled by the glamour of the flying club and the lively social scene at the airfield that he regularly now becomes a drunk middle aged man in tribute to that night.
My friend used to love terrifying his passengers, fellow doormen, on the roundabout at the end of the Perth/Dundee dual carriageway by going round them on the door handles and sideways at 03.30am most mornings. The volvos included several 245, a 343, a 164, a 760 and an Amazon estate. My friend likes to think he has done his bit to disabuse the 'younger generation' of the idea that Volvos are old man's cars. This notion was further disabused by taking a carload north of 150mph in his first t5 850...it was excused the roundabout treatment due to its fwd chassis. My friend is aware of the gross stupidity of these actions and when questioned always blames youthful exuberance. He lives a much quieter life now. The only place nearby to this happening was a local grass airfield, and its bar ( which was previously unknown to him) where he went to ask for help getting out- and lots of drunk middle aged men pushed the Volvo back on to the road up a fair muddy incline.
My friend was so impressed and enthralled by the glamour of the flying club and the lively social scene at the airfield that he regularly now becomes a drunk middle aged man in tribute to that night.
My friend started his driving career with a Morris Minor. He too decided one night that a local field would provide ample opportunity for a bit of sideways action. Inevitably the evening ended in a bogged-down car and wild panic to get it removed. Fortunately he had a back seat full of well-muscled girls, who helped him out.
Subsequently, on a camping trip to Wales, he tried to 'hang the back end out'...in a S3 Transit van. Turns out the venerable Ford went so far and then snapped: cue flailing arms, a spinning steering wheel and a vehicle facing back from whence it came...
Years later, a fall of snow saw my 'friend' attempt to drift the rear end on a mini roundabout...in a Megane CC: a car that could quite reasonably ask 'Does my bum look big in this?'. More scientifically, Newton's First Law applied: 'A body remains ... in motion at a constant speed in a straight line, unless acted upon by a force'. Needless to say, the equal and opposite force was applied by a kerbstone, popping the CV joint apart...at great expense. Oops.
Subsequently, on a camping trip to Wales, he tried to 'hang the back end out'...in a S3 Transit van. Turns out the venerable Ford went so far and then snapped: cue flailing arms, a spinning steering wheel and a vehicle facing back from whence it came...
Years later, a fall of snow saw my 'friend' attempt to drift the rear end on a mini roundabout...in a Megane CC: a car that could quite reasonably ask 'Does my bum look big in this?'. More scientifically, Newton's First Law applied: 'A body remains ... in motion at a constant speed in a straight line, unless acted upon by a force'. Needless to say, the equal and opposite force was applied by a kerbstone, popping the CV joint apart...at great expense. Oops.
My friend noted that one of the uplighters on the garage was not working so decided to replace the LED Bulb that was in it. My friend grabbed the bulb box from the cupboard, located the first LED they found and shoved it in, pleased with a job well done.
Several hours later, after dark, my friend and her husband happened to nip out in the car, rather fortunately as they found the surround of the plastic uplighter on fire. Friends husband was rather relieved to have caught this error given the classic car contained within said garage.
Friend now realises not all bulbs have the same wattage...
Several hours later, after dark, my friend and her husband happened to nip out in the car, rather fortunately as they found the surround of the plastic uplighter on fire. Friends husband was rather relieved to have caught this error given the classic car contained within said garage.
Friend now realises not all bulbs have the same wattage...
My friend decided to take his Jeep off-roading in Arizona last week on a rainy day. It all went well, some very shallow flashfloods caused no problem. My friend is cautious about such things having had a Jeep wash away a few decades ago and be written off.
Higher up the track went through open grass land and a shallow hill. It looked innocuous until about a kilometre up when it turned to slick mud with zero grip.There was no place to turn around and the rain turned the road behind to more mud.
Took my friend an hour reversing at much less that walking pace with the Jeep skittering at every move.
Being a desert there is little rain so my friend decided to off-road on the other 98% of days when weather is dry.
My friend in not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
Higher up the track went through open grass land and a shallow hill. It looked innocuous until about a kilometre up when it turned to slick mud with zero grip.There was no place to turn around and the rain turned the road behind to more mud.
Took my friend an hour reversing at much less that walking pace with the Jeep skittering at every move.
Being a desert there is little rain so my friend decided to off-road on the other 98% of days when weather is dry.
My friend in not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
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