What has your "friend" been up to?
Discussion
Th best friend story I can remember is after having his wicked way with a nice young lady in the back of a Cinquecento Sporting (the first impressive bit), he decided to reverse into a lamp post on the way to take her home. A lamp post he couldn't see as the rear windows had steamed up during the wickedness.
I'm told his face was as red as the seatbelts in the car afterwards, although this may have been the exertion of making whoopy in the back of a small Fiat.....
I'm told his face was as red as the seatbelts in the car afterwards, although this may have been the exertion of making whoopy in the back of a small Fiat.....
bodhi said:
Th best friend story I can remember is after having his wicked way with a nice young lady in the back of a Cinquecento Sporting (the first impressive bit), he decided to reverse into a lamp post on the way to take her home. A lamp post he couldn't see as the rear windows had steamed up during the wickedness.
I'm told his face was as red as the seatbelts in the car afterwards, although this may have been the exertion of making whoopy in the back of a small Fiat.....
^^^ That reminds me of a situation when a friend of mine was a teenager, he told a girl in the party he had a new car stereo, cunningly asking her if she wanted to have a look. She did, the plan was to drive away and get his wicked way, unfortunately my friend was poor in those days and had a habit of not putting a lot of petrol in his car.I'm told his face was as red as the seatbelts in the car afterwards, although this may have been the exertion of making whoopy in the back of a small Fiat.....
The car started briefly then died.
It was out of fuel.
What the hell he thought and they decided to do it there and then outside the party house. The back of the car was bouncing up and down, a little more than expected, after my friend had got his wicked way the car continued to bounce up and down. Then it bounced even more. Quickly the couple in the car put their clothes back on, they couldnt see out of the car because of the steamy windows.
they were greeted by cheers.
bobmcgod said:
A friend of a friend saw a big pile of snow. He thought if he hand brake turned into it it would just disintegrate.
It didn't.
It didn't.
My Friend got his scooby wedged on top of a similar pile and had to get someone to tow him off, twice.
To be fair the scooby only ever got stuck twice, it's just both time involved the exact same situation.
My friend has managed to:
Reverse full whack into a colleagues car,
he didn't see it because it was parked a cars length behind him.
End up positioned on the inside of a large roundabout facing the wrong way with 4 long tyre marks leading right to him due to delivering pizzas a bit too enthusiastically. Interesting expressions and gestures from the traffic going past as he sat there patiently with his indicator on.
Walk into someone's house, up the stairs and ask for a friend, completely forgetting that that friend
had recently moved house.
Whilst discussing signs of zodiac, been known to have said ' scorpio - thats the lobster right?'
Reverse full whack into a colleagues car,
he didn't see it because it was parked a cars length behind him.
End up positioned on the inside of a large roundabout facing the wrong way with 4 long tyre marks leading right to him due to delivering pizzas a bit too enthusiastically. Interesting expressions and gestures from the traffic going past as he sat there patiently with his indicator on.
Walk into someone's house, up the stairs and ask for a friend, completely forgetting that that friend
had recently moved house.
Whilst discussing signs of zodiac, been known to have said ' scorpio - thats the lobster right?'
Patrick1964 said:
My friend went to the BBC 6 Music festival in Manchester and had a pee in the hand wash sinks thinking they were the urinal - despite thinking "these are very high". Despite the hand soap being balanced on the top. Despite the sink being in full view of the door. Despite being sober.
My friend did exactly the same thing in a nightclub in Hong Kong.He even went through a whole thought process whilst pissing - "funny how they put little taps on the urinal over here - am I supposed to 'flush' it out manually after use?" before the moment of dawning realisation...
Mine not long after passing the test turned right in a city centre street, went over or close to a seagull, looked back to see if he hit it or if it was ok and looked forwards just in time to avoid hitting the parked cars at 45* on the other side of the road he'd just turned into - very, very close call!
My young "Friend" in a Tesco car park tried to show off to the local vag and his friends in the lashing rain decided it would be fun to try and slide his 125cc motorbike around a 90% corner and rapidly discovered he's not Valentino Rossi and ended up 20 feet from the bike, on his arse with nothing more than a bruised ego and a very numb backside. Needless to say the girls laughed and walked off.
I He still gets slaughtered by his friends by it now.
Edit: Vag (girls)
Edit: Vag (girls)
Edited by Mr SFJ on Friday 25th April 16:53
My friend with the Cinquecento Sporting also had to ask the dealer he was about to trade it in to if he could possibly give him a jump start off the forecourt, about 5 minutes after he'd been given a valuation on it. He always planned to go to Halfrauds straight after for a new battery, however the look on the dealer's face was priceless.....
A very good “friend” of mine was very excited, at the age of 16, to see his father arrive home one day on a brand new, bright red ducati 999 having not told anyone he was buying it. When night fell and his parents were fast asleep in bed, said friend crept into the garage to check out this rather exhilarating new addition to the family sitting snuggly next to his fathers imacculate E Class mercedes. (and take a few photos to show off to his mates at school the next day.)
The urge to mount the motorcycle proved too great, so this friend, having never even sat on a bike before and unsure of to to execute such a maneuvure, swung his leg over the back and sat down a bit too quickly. Around 2 seconds later, after the rather forceful transfer of weight from the side stand to the opposite side of the bike (having mounted the machine the wrong way) had began, my friend knew he was well and truly in the s
t. He very quickly found himself on the floor (after trying in vain to grab hold of something, anything, to stop his fall and promtly tipping a tool box and its entire contents everywhere,) lying on top of his fathers spanking new ducati, which was now on its side on the ground….. pissing all kinds of fluid all over the garage floor and looking a whole lot worse than it did at the dealers just a few hours earlier, with a snapped off wing mirror, dented fuel tank, cracked screen and badly scuffed up faring. Thankfully, or perhaps unfortunately, the bike’s fall was semi-broken….. by his fathers mercedes, which now had some rather serious and visible damage to both right hand side doors.
My friend took slight consolation from the fact that, despite the utter carnage that now lay infront if him, he hadn’t snapped his leg between the vehicles, but was fairly sure his father, who had been woken by the almighty bang and was swiftly on his way down to investigate, would soon see to that.
I, sorry my friend, didn’t see much of his earnings from his Saturday job at Thorpe Park for a while after that night.…..
The urge to mount the motorcycle proved too great, so this friend, having never even sat on a bike before and unsure of to to execute such a maneuvure, swung his leg over the back and sat down a bit too quickly. Around 2 seconds later, after the rather forceful transfer of weight from the side stand to the opposite side of the bike (having mounted the machine the wrong way) had began, my friend knew he was well and truly in the s
t. He very quickly found himself on the floor (after trying in vain to grab hold of something, anything, to stop his fall and promtly tipping a tool box and its entire contents everywhere,) lying on top of his fathers spanking new ducati, which was now on its side on the ground….. pissing all kinds of fluid all over the garage floor and looking a whole lot worse than it did at the dealers just a few hours earlier, with a snapped off wing mirror, dented fuel tank, cracked screen and badly scuffed up faring. Thankfully, or perhaps unfortunately, the bike’s fall was semi-broken….. by his fathers mercedes, which now had some rather serious and visible damage to both right hand side doors.My friend took slight consolation from the fact that, despite the utter carnage that now lay infront if him, he hadn’t snapped his leg between the vehicles, but was fairly sure his father, who had been woken by the almighty bang and was swiftly on his way down to investigate, would soon see to that.
I, sorry my friend, didn’t see much of his earnings from his Saturday job at Thorpe Park for a while after that night.…..
A good friend of mine had a father who left the publican game with a good few quid. Always liked his motors and has had all sorts of tasty metal of the years.
He decided to be a home trader for high end stuff at the time mid 90's and he did pretty well at it and setup with another friend after a while and had a good indy business until it all went pear shaped in the early 00's.
My friend who was at the time 17 just passed his test decided one evening to take out a 3 year old 928GTS for a spin that dad had on the driveway.... Managed to blow through some road ahead closed signs and into a field and end up perched on a wall!
He was fine, he did do an awful lot of penance though! I do have some old pictures of it kicking about somewhere, I will try and dig them out it was a heck of a sight a bright red 928 4ft up on a stone wall!
He decided to be a home trader for high end stuff at the time mid 90's and he did pretty well at it and setup with another friend after a while and had a good indy business until it all went pear shaped in the early 00's.
My friend who was at the time 17 just passed his test decided one evening to take out a 3 year old 928GTS for a spin that dad had on the driveway.... Managed to blow through some road ahead closed signs and into a field and end up perched on a wall!
He was fine, he did do an awful lot of penance though! I do have some old pictures of it kicking about somewhere, I will try and dig them out it was a heck of a sight a bright red 928 4ft up on a stone wall!
heppers75 said:
A good friend of mine had a father who left the publican game with a good few quid. Always liked his motors and has had all sorts of tasty metal of the years.
He decided to be a home trader for high end stuff at the time mid 90's and he did pretty well at it and setup with another friend after a while and had a good indy business until it all went pear shaped in the early 00's.
My friend who was at the time 17 just passed his test decided one evening to take out a 3 year old 928GTS for a spin that dad had on the driveway.... Managed to blow through some road ahead closed signs and into a field and end up perched on a wall!
He was fine, he did do an awful lot of penance though! I do have some old pictures of it kicking about somewhere, I will try and dig them out it was a heck of a sight a bright red 928 4ft up on a stone wall!
Sounded like a risky businessHe decided to be a home trader for high end stuff at the time mid 90's and he did pretty well at it and setup with another friend after a while and had a good indy business until it all went pear shaped in the early 00's.
My friend who was at the time 17 just passed his test decided one evening to take out a 3 year old 928GTS for a spin that dad had on the driveway.... Managed to blow through some road ahead closed signs and into a field and end up perched on a wall!
He was fine, he did do an awful lot of penance though! I do have some old pictures of it kicking about somewhere, I will try and dig them out it was a heck of a sight a bright red 928 4ft up on a stone wall!
My friend ran out of talent in the car he just bought today, hammering it round a roundabout in a local industrial estate. He went across the traffic island on the exit backwards, fortunately over the lowered part of the kerb, so no damage except to his pride. He has resolved to further investigate lift-of oversteer in a mid-engined sports car in a more appropriate, and safer environment.
My friend was going to pick his GF up from work at Glasgow royal infirmary. This was his first time doing this as they had only lived there a week. The approach to the traffic lights in question had been 3 lanes of one direction flow. Looking at the junction he was thinking this is rudy complicated (being Glasgow, no road markings at all remained.) He got pretty confused with the road layout and wanted to turn right into the hospital. So he chose the right hand most lane which had a traffic light across the junction with a right filter (all on red). Not realising the road had now become 2 lanes one way and 3 the other until traffic coming the opposite direction had to indicate to move around him. At this point he put on his 4 way flashers and opened the bonnet....... and stood there until everyone who had been at that cycle of the lights watching him had driven off.
Tara llems said:
heppers75 said:
A good friend of mine had a father who left the publican game with a good few quid. Always liked his motors and has had all sorts of tasty metal of the years.
He decided to be a home trader for high end stuff at the time mid 90's and he did pretty well at it and setup with another friend after a while and had a good indy business until it all went pear shaped in the early 00's.
My friend who was at the time 17 just passed his test decided one evening to take out a 3 year old 928GTS for a spin that dad had on the driveway.... Managed to blow through some road ahead closed signs and into a field and end up perched on a wall!
He was fine, he did do an awful lot of penance though! I do have some old pictures of it kicking about somewhere, I will try and dig them out it was a heck of a sight a bright red 928 4ft up on a stone wall!
Sounded like a risky businessHe decided to be a home trader for high end stuff at the time mid 90's and he did pretty well at it and setup with another friend after a while and had a good indy business until it all went pear shaped in the early 00's.
My friend who was at the time 17 just passed his test decided one evening to take out a 3 year old 928GTS for a spin that dad had on the driveway.... Managed to blow through some road ahead closed signs and into a field and end up perched on a wall!
He was fine, he did do an awful lot of penance though! I do have some old pictures of it kicking about somewhere, I will try and dig them out it was a heck of a sight a bright red 928 4ft up on a stone wall!
Well, a friend of my friend kept getting sexual harrassment phone calls. They were the usual, 'want to put my fingers in all your gaps etc'. But it was relentless. maybe 5 texts and 2 calls a day. My friends tried to arrange a meeting with him. To her surprise he did not show up.
The phone company and Police were not interested. Changing her number was the last option. So firstly she blocked his number. The phone fiend bought another SIM cars and continued. Blocked again. This only unfortunately stops calls and not text messages.
He slipped up one day and phoned her on his 'proper number'. Last night, before changing her number, my 'friends' went online and and advertised in 5 major cities as a prostitute looking for business, fairly cheap with some very nice photos. the number is as follows:
Romania (+40) 0720 620 333
The phone company and Police were not interested. Changing her number was the last option. So firstly she blocked his number. The phone fiend bought another SIM cars and continued. Blocked again. This only unfortunately stops calls and not text messages.
He slipped up one day and phoned her on his 'proper number'. Last night, before changing her number, my 'friends' went online and and advertised in 5 major cities as a prostitute looking for business, fairly cheap with some very nice photos. the number is as follows:
Romania (+40) 0720 620 333
Er....I am not sure that you have quite caught the drift of this thread.
In other news, my friend suspects, but isn't sure, that he has shagged the fuel pump on his Lancia by letting the tank run dry. The same friend had his Alfa 156 tarted up a bit to remove assorted London dings and scuffs. A bit of paint, a bit of polish. He collected it from the bodyshop, who had done a good job, and immediately scraped the bumper on his wall while parking up at home. Verdict on my friend: knob.
In other news, my friend suspects, but isn't sure, that he has shagged the fuel pump on his Lancia by letting the tank run dry. The same friend had his Alfa 156 tarted up a bit to remove assorted London dings and scuffs. A bit of paint, a bit of polish. He collected it from the bodyshop, who had done a good job, and immediately scraped the bumper on his wall while parking up at home. Verdict on my friend: knob.
Breadvan72 said:
Er....I am not sure that you have quite caught the drift of this thread.
In other news, my friend suspects, but isn't sure, that he has shagged the fuel pump on his Lancia by letting the tank run dry. The same friend had his Alfa 156 tarted up a bit to remove assorted London dings and scuffs. A bit of paint, a bit of polish. He collected it from the bodyshop, who had done a good job, and immediately scraped the bumper on his wall while parking up at home. Verdict on my friend: knob.
I've asked my friend, and he does feel sorry for your friend. My friend nearly ripped the bumper off his Saab 9-3 Aero while reversing onto a driveway, due to the sharp gradient change from road to driveway....Right outside the forecourt of a dealer to whom he was potentially going to P/X the car.In other news, my friend suspects, but isn't sure, that he has shagged the fuel pump on his Lancia by letting the tank run dry. The same friend had his Alfa 156 tarted up a bit to remove assorted London dings and scuffs. A bit of paint, a bit of polish. He collected it from the bodyshop, who had done a good job, and immediately scraped the bumper on his wall while parking up at home. Verdict on my friend: knob.
My friend did P/X the car to another dealer the next day, who did notice the bumper wasn't quite straight
Gassing Station | General Gassing | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff