What has your "friend" been up to?
Discussion
My friend is prone to heavy bouts of road rage when entering Bradford, he really doesn't like the traffic or the wreckless idiots who drive in that, and I quote "F***ING s
tHOLE OF A PLACE".
Once he threw his milkshake out of the window at some cun... um I mean idiot who had pulled out on him and caused him to mount the kerb to avoid a collision.
I think my friend just needs to calm down a wee bit, it isn't so bad but he wont listen to anything I say.
tHOLE OF A PLACE".Once he threw his milkshake out of the window at some cun... um I mean idiot who had pulled out on him and caused him to mount the kerb to avoid a collision.
I think my friend just needs to calm down a wee bit, it isn't so bad but he wont listen to anything I say.
My friend in his late teens / early 20's couldn't afford to run a car so after seeing Alfie though that by getting a Vespa scooter he'd look like Jude Law in Alfie, unfortunately my friend wasn't in London, he was in Belper and was wearing some hand-me-down waterproofs rather than a Dior suit. this got him minimum flange
anyway on my friend's commute to work he had to pass through a small village called Little Eaton, one day as he approached the village he noticed the road was coned off and some signs saying the road was closed. he was running late and couldn't be bothered to do a detour so decided to go through the gap in the cones and ignore the signs, he rode a few hundred yards and had just started to think what a bunch of arses they had been closing the road for no reason. then he started to see crowds of people, hear music, cheering etc. anyway he decided to carry on to then find himself in the middle of a load of street performers and floats etc, he driven into the middle of their annual carnival. a lot of the crowd realised and gave my idiot friend a lot of 'support' and made it quite clear they believed he had a tendancy to masturbate excessively.
not one of his finest moments, but also, worryingly, far from his worst
anyway on my friend's commute to work he had to pass through a small village called Little Eaton, one day as he approached the village he noticed the road was coned off and some signs saying the road was closed. he was running late and couldn't be bothered to do a detour so decided to go through the gap in the cones and ignore the signs, he rode a few hundred yards and had just started to think what a bunch of arses they had been closing the road for no reason. then he started to see crowds of people, hear music, cheering etc. anyway he decided to carry on to then find himself in the middle of a load of street performers and floats etc, he driven into the middle of their annual carnival. a lot of the crowd realised and gave my idiot friend a lot of 'support' and made it quite clear they believed he had a tendancy to masturbate excessively.
not one of his finest moments, but also, worryingly, far from his worst
GC8 said:
Justin Case said:
My friend has such a boring car that he has to chat about cars to imaginary friends on internet forums to keep his sanity.
My friend is friends with your friend on the internet!My friend might have mentioned this, but he parked his wife's shed on their sloping drive and applied the handbrake just well enough to hold the car until things cooled down. It came to rest against a stone wall leaving a scrape half the length of the car.
Thankfully it's a shed and the following week she drove his car into the house while failing to negotiate the drive so they're even.
Thankfully it's a shed and the following week she drove his car into the house while failing to negotiate the drive so they're even.
My friend always leaves any manual car in gear whenever he parks it in order to avoid such eventualities, but on one notable occasion he had been letting the engine cool at idle for some time after he had thrashed the yarmouth most egregiously, like the ignorant and mechanically unsympathetic yob that he is, and after he switched off he neglected to engage a gear, leaving the car on its handbrake alone on a slope. What happened shortly afterwards was entirely predictable.
My friend had varnish stripper drizzled down the rear wing of his car on Saturday.
It spilled out of a cupboard in his own garage. Friend had sad and exasperated face but cheered up when he realised it hadn't also dripped on his GF's car which is much nicer and usually parks in that bay.
My friend can't re-spray cars for st.
It spilled out of a cupboard in his own garage. Friend had sad and exasperated face but cheered up when he realised it hadn't also dripped on his GF's car which is much nicer and usually parks in that bay.
My friend can't re-spray cars for s
t.Friend of mine had an epic brain-fart one time, made all the worse by the leisurely pace at which it played out and his incomprehensible failure to spot it and prevent it.
He arrived at a car wash on the way to a business meeting and lined the car up with one of those automatic towing lanes. The type where you turn off the car and it drags you through. Bright yellow machinery - there's no way you could miss it.
The first attempt to hook the front wheel over the cross bar goes badly. It's a powerful car but all it does is make noise and it can't get its wheel over. This has, of course, attracted lots of attention. My mate reverses the car a metre or so, takes a look and deduces that he's somehow got it out of alignment and that the car is therefore trying to mount the trackway rather than simply step over the moving crossbar. He re-aligns the car and tries again with the same end result.
Calmly, and with no trace of frustration, though a little confused, he gets out of his car and takes a look. The car is definitely lined up but something isn't going well. He looks around the car, but all is well there too.
Third attempt then. Roll it up, rev it up and really go for it. This time the car mounts the crossbar, the wheel makes it over and there's an almighty CLANG as the car wash rail connects to the chassis, beaching the car.
The Lord himself only knows what "my friend" was thinking through the entire process, because as he got out and inspected the damage it suddenly dawned on him that there was no auto-towing lane to drag the car along. The yellow metal contrivance was in fact a very solid (and completely static!) barrier marking out where the car Must Not Go.
He still has nightmares about reversing the car off to the screeching of metal on metal.
Plonker.
He arrived at a car wash on the way to a business meeting and lined the car up with one of those automatic towing lanes. The type where you turn off the car and it drags you through. Bright yellow machinery - there's no way you could miss it.
The first attempt to hook the front wheel over the cross bar goes badly. It's a powerful car but all it does is make noise and it can't get its wheel over. This has, of course, attracted lots of attention. My mate reverses the car a metre or so, takes a look and deduces that he's somehow got it out of alignment and that the car is therefore trying to mount the trackway rather than simply step over the moving crossbar. He re-aligns the car and tries again with the same end result.
Calmly, and with no trace of frustration, though a little confused, he gets out of his car and takes a look. The car is definitely lined up but something isn't going well. He looks around the car, but all is well there too.
Third attempt then. Roll it up, rev it up and really go for it. This time the car mounts the crossbar, the wheel makes it over and there's an almighty CLANG as the car wash rail connects to the chassis, beaching the car.
The Lord himself only knows what "my friend" was thinking through the entire process, because as he got out and inspected the damage it suddenly dawned on him that there was no auto-towing lane to drag the car along. The yellow metal contrivance was in fact a very solid (and completely static!) barrier marking out where the car Must Not Go.
He still has nightmares about reversing the car off to the screeching of metal on metal.
Plonker.
Bill said:
My friend might have mentioned this, but he parked his wife's shed on their sloping drive and applied the handbrake just well enough to hold the car until things cooled down. It came to rest against a stone wall leaving a scrape half the length of the car.
Funny thing, my "friend"s wife let his old blue Punto (yes, he's got one just like mine...) roll off down a drive in a similar fashion. Unfortunately into the side of a parked Focus RS.My "friend" now has a fault claim on his policy even though he was 500 miles away in Essen at the time of the accident.
My friend while turning his company car around in a driveway failed to notice the some for the kerbstones where higher than others.
My friend reports that the crunching of the front bumper and grille was very unfortunate, but no where near as the very large pool of coolent left on the drive.
The AA man thinks my friend is a bit unlucky, however his Fleet Manager thinks he is an utter cock as the repair to the Saab was just under £3k.
My friend reports that the crunching of the front bumper and grille was very unfortunate, but no where near as the very large pool of coolent left on the drive.
The AA man thinks my friend is a bit unlucky, however his Fleet Manager thinks he is an utter cock as the repair to the Saab was just under £3k.
Art0ir said:
Yes, apparently he ended up facing the wrong way on a slip road and was able to carefully turn around and join the motorway in the proper fashion.
Allegedly.
Glad to hear you're... sorry, your friend is OK and no harm done.Allegedly.
That reminds me of driving in snowy conditions a couple of years ago on the M25. Every slip road had a car facing the wrong way on it.
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