Best Smoker Barges 1-5 large [Vol 4]

[SpeckledJim]

Quietlybonkers said:

SpeckledJim said:

Do you mean unattached to the car? I'm not prepared to lose 300ml of precious morning life-restorer to a poorly executed direction change. That would really spoil a day.

Or do you gaffer tape the roll to the carpet? Is that even going to work?

Shove it between your legs for the nut-warming effect, and pray some d**khead doesn't do something sudden in front of you.

What kind of weirdo wants warm nuts? If you were supposed to have warm nuts, they wouldn't be dangling in the gale up your trouser-leg.

[Baryonyx]

Drinking hot drinks in the car? What has the world come to? You'd be lucky to get away with being allowed to drink an Irn Bru in mine!

[V8mate]

SpeckledJim said:

Quietlybonkers said:

SpeckledJim said:

Do you mean unattached to the car? I'm not prepared to lose 300ml of precious morning life-restorer to a poorly executed direction change. That would really spoil a day.

Or do you gaffer tape the roll to the carpet? Is that even going to work?

Shove it between your legs for the nut-warming effect, and pray some d**khead doesn't do something sudden in front of you.

What kind of weirdo wants warm nuts? If you were supposed to have warm nuts, they wouldn't be dangling in the gale up your trouser-leg.

I think Mr QB has elasticated ends to his trousers.

[gowmonster]

http://www.halfords.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/...

stick one of these in the window slot. £2.99

[BlueMR2]

I remember the Soarer had a vent underneath the steering wheel aimed straight at your bits. That really did get chilly with the brand new air con compressor fitted.

[SpeckledJim]

Baryonyx said:

Drinking hot drinks in the car? What has the world come to? You'd be lucky to get away with being allowed to drink an Irn Bru in mine!

With its legendary thrust, beautiful styling, endless gadgets (all in full working order) and general all-round wonderfulness, I wouldn't have time or inclination to drink in your car.

In fact, I'd just be desperately concentrating on not having a special moment.

[SpeckledJim]

gowmonster said:

http://www.halfords.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/...

stick one of these in the window slot. £2.99

I have one of those. An adjustable one, no less. Still doesn't fit. If the gaffer tape trick doesn't work, I'm going to resort to some custom bespoking of a coat hanger.

[V8mate]

SpeckledJim said:

I have one of those. An adjustable one, no less. Still doesn't fit. If the gaffer tape trick doesn't work, I'm going to resort to some custom bespoking of a coat hanger.

What about one of those liquid-carrying backpacks runners and expeditioners wear? Wear it back-to-front, babay carrier style. Flexi-pipe straight into mouth.

[louiebaby]

If it all goes wrong:

http://www.hammacher.com/Product/Default.aspx?sku=...

[BlueMR2]

V8mate said:

SpeckledJim said:

I have one of those. An adjustable one, no less. Still doesn't fit. If the gaffer tape trick doesn't work, I'm going to resort to some custom bespoking of a coat hanger.

What about one of those liquid-carrying backpacks runners and expeditioners wear? Wear it back-to-front, babay carrier style. Flexi-pipe straight into mouth.

You could hang it over the rear of the seat with a pipe round to your mouth.

[theironduke]

Fuel aside.....how much more bork prone is an X300 XJR....

I'd ruled them out in insurance grounds but the quote i just got is very very appealing.....only 100 odd quid more than a standard 3.2 or 4.0 car....

[SpeckledJim]

V8mate said:

SpeckledJim said:

I have one of those. An adjustable one, no less. Still doesn't fit. If the gaffer tape trick doesn't work, I'm going to resort to some custom bespoking of a coat hanger.

What about one of those liquid-carrying backpacks runners and expeditioners wear? Wear it back-to-front, babay carrier style. Flexi-pipe straight into mouth.

Too hot with fresh coffee. But I could perhaps lodge one of those on top of my visor, and route the tube via the headlining, out the seatbelt hole and down the seatbelt. Practical and stylish.

[V8mate]

BlueMR2 said:

V8mate said:

SpeckledJim said:

I have one of those. An adjustable one, no less. Still doesn't fit. If the gaffer tape trick doesn't work, I'm going to resort to some custom bespoking of a coat hanger.

What about one of those liquid-carrying backpacks runners and expeditioners wear? Wear it back-to-front, babay carrier style. Flexi-pipe straight into mouth.

You could hang it over the rear of the seat with a pipe round to your mouth.

Thread brain-storming comes good. We have a solution!

I can see the ads in the back of Saturday's Telegraph now:

Need to carry a gallon of coffee in your life-expired pocket money limo?
Get the new iSeatSack(TM)
Only £99.95 incl. P&P

[Quietlybonkers]

V8mate said:

Thread brain-storming comes good. We have a solution!

I can see the ads in the back of Saturday's Telegraph now:

Need to carry a gallon of coffee in your life-expired pocket money limo?
Get the new iSeatSack(TM)
Only £99.95 incl. P&P

Or for only an extra £39.99 get the iSeatSack and iSeatCatheterpack, for the complete personal irrigation solution.....

[SpeckledJim]

Quietlybonkers said:

V8mate said:

Thread brain-storming comes good. We have a solution!

I can see the ads in the back of Saturday's Telegraph now:

Need to carry a gallon of coffee in your life-expired pocket money limo?
Get the new iSeatSack(TM)
Only £99.95 incl. P&P

Or for only an extra £39.99 get the iSeatSack and iSeatCatheterpack, for the complete personal irrigation solution.....

iSeatCatheterPack being simply a modified condom, another tube and a return valve into iSeatSack.

[Quietlybonkers]

SpeckledJim said:

iSeatCatheterPack being simply a modified condom, another tube and a return valve into iSeatSack.

Saves stopping on long journeys.....

[hornetrider]

I'm glad onboard beverage consumption is a subject close to all our hearts.

[Quietlybonkers]

hornetrider said:

I'm glad onboard beverage consumption is a subject close to all our hearts.

Next week I am taking my daughter from Kings Lynn to Wigan and back in one day (around 350 miles) - if I can find the right device to enable us not to have to stop more than once per journey. All suggestions, for both male and female requirements, welcome.

[V8mate]

Quietlybonkers said:

Kings Lynn to Wigan

If ever two towns deserved twinning...

[richardxjr]

theironduke said:

Fuel aside.....how much more bork prone is an X300 XJR....

I'd ruled them out in insurance grounds but the quote i just got is very very appealing.....only 100 odd quid more than a standard 3.2 or 4.0 car....

Nowt more than a cooking one. Unless somebody had taken the 'charger off and put it back wrong, like I found on mine after I bought it. (This would of course be evident from a test drive if you're in anyway a better buyer than moi)

So... JFDI