DIY Mechanics Fail Stories
Discussion
Just had my first major disaster tonight. I've been given a 1987 205 GTi 1.9 on the promise that I did everything I could to make sure it saw the road again, as it's been off it since 1999. The engine was last started around 6 years ago, and the previous owner had started to pull it apart in order to restore it. So it has arrived as a rolling shell, including no brakes and fuel tank on the back seat as opposed to under it where it should be mounted. The guy forgot to leave the new master cylinder in the car so I can't do anything with the brakes until that arrives. So I thought the first task with the bits I had available was to see if the engine was still serviceable and would it run.
So first thing, get the tank and the pump on, fuel lines connected, put some fuel in, battery on, turn they key see what happens. Turns over, but just keeps turning over, with not even a cough or a splutter attempting to fire. First thing, checked the plugs, spark on all 4, must be a fuel issue then. Crack the fuel line going to the injector rail to find nothing coming out of it. After a few checks and getting the air line of the compressor down the fuel lines, I finally get fuel up to the injector rail. Try again, but no joy, still no coughs or splutters. Time to get the injector rail out. Had it out on top of the engine, crank and find none of the 4 injectors are firing. Cause of not starting found - no fuel in cylinders. (I did try the trick of a couple of drops of fuel directly into the cylinders and got a few coughs and splutters instantly. So it's time to find the cause of the injectors not firing. Is it the injectors themselves or the wiring to them? I don't have any spare injectors for it, so I had to improvise and found the spare set I had for the 206 GTi where roughly the same fitments. So swapped one in and tried once more. Still no fuel out of any injectors including the known good one. Had to be a wiring issue. Eventually found it to be the earth wires on the gearbox which where badly corroded. Cleaned all this up, and tried to crank it once more. Suddenly the 206 injector starts firing off, but none of the 205 one's do. Actual problem now found. all 4 injectors are gummed up with ancient fuel through standing.
Now this is where the disaster begins. Whilst cranking with the rail out, the engine rocking on the starter nudged it enough that it started firing fuel directly into the port, which then caught a spark and ignited. This backfired through the open port. Nothing to disastrous, but my luck being as it is, one of the injectors decided to brake free of the rail at around the same time pouring all the fuel that was in the rail all over the top of the engine which also ignited. Cue big bonfire under the bonnet within 10 seconds. Very scary moment, flames starting to get bigger, and also ate into the fuel line which supplied even more fuel.
I have a very big black CO2 extinguisher in the garage which has been there for years, and I've given the periodic ever so slight squeeze of the handle to ensure it was still okay for the moment that I ever did need it. Well this was the moment, I reach for it, pin out, aim, squeeze and nothing. Turns out the idiots I call some of my friends, who think it's highly amusing to chase each other around the garden with an extinguisher (you'd never think they were getting on for there late 20's) had managed to empty the whole thing. Major "oh s
t" moment. What do I do now, very nice bonfire now under the bonnet. Pancaking I start looking around and a bucket of sand catches my eye. Brilliant, threw it over, and with a bit of help throwing what fell through to the floor back on in different places I eventually get the fire extinguished. There will be some rather choice words with a few people the next time I see them.
Anyway, tonight's antics has now put the project backwards rather than forwards. As thanks to the small fire, I now have 2 melted fuel hoses. 2 slightly melted HT leads. 1 ruined injector, other 2 look salvageable just need stripping and cleaning. And all 4 injector wiring plugs will need rewiring after the cables melting. The real annoyance is that with me having to throw sand over it, some has managed to find itself into the injector holes which mean's I think I will need to remove the head to get at it properly to remove it
and there is sand all over my engine bay now. Ah well, it could have been a lot worse. The whole car could have gone up in flames, or I could have had it in my garage where I was originally working on it and it have gone up in flames and taken the house with it. Although I have gotten off rather lightly in terms of damage, I'm still gutted as I was going to take the injectors over to my dad's tomorrow for him to strip and clean and rebuild. Which would have meant I could have possibly got the engine fired up in the next few days. But now I'm not sure when that's going to happen.
But moral of the story is. When playing with fuel/injectors. Make sure the ignition system is disabled. Next time I play with anything like that I will be disconnecting all the HT leads. But I will be buying a big bag of sand and finding another fire extinguisher as well.
So first thing, get the tank and the pump on, fuel lines connected, put some fuel in, battery on, turn they key see what happens. Turns over, but just keeps turning over, with not even a cough or a splutter attempting to fire. First thing, checked the plugs, spark on all 4, must be a fuel issue then. Crack the fuel line going to the injector rail to find nothing coming out of it. After a few checks and getting the air line of the compressor down the fuel lines, I finally get fuel up to the injector rail. Try again, but no joy, still no coughs or splutters. Time to get the injector rail out. Had it out on top of the engine, crank and find none of the 4 injectors are firing. Cause of not starting found - no fuel in cylinders. (I did try the trick of a couple of drops of fuel directly into the cylinders and got a few coughs and splutters instantly. So it's time to find the cause of the injectors not firing. Is it the injectors themselves or the wiring to them? I don't have any spare injectors for it, so I had to improvise and found the spare set I had for the 206 GTi where roughly the same fitments. So swapped one in and tried once more. Still no fuel out of any injectors including the known good one. Had to be a wiring issue. Eventually found it to be the earth wires on the gearbox which where badly corroded. Cleaned all this up, and tried to crank it once more. Suddenly the 206 injector starts firing off, but none of the 205 one's do. Actual problem now found. all 4 injectors are gummed up with ancient fuel through standing.
Now this is where the disaster begins. Whilst cranking with the rail out, the engine rocking on the starter nudged it enough that it started firing fuel directly into the port, which then caught a spark and ignited. This backfired through the open port. Nothing to disastrous, but my luck being as it is, one of the injectors decided to brake free of the rail at around the same time pouring all the fuel that was in the rail all over the top of the engine which also ignited. Cue big bonfire under the bonnet within 10 seconds. Very scary moment, flames starting to get bigger, and also ate into the fuel line which supplied even more fuel.
I have a very big black CO2 extinguisher in the garage which has been there for years, and I've given the periodic ever so slight squeeze of the handle to ensure it was still okay for the moment that I ever did need it. Well this was the moment, I reach for it, pin out, aim, squeeze and nothing. Turns out the idiots I call some of my friends, who think it's highly amusing to chase each other around the garden with an extinguisher (you'd never think they were getting on for there late 20's) had managed to empty the whole thing. Major "oh s
t" moment. What do I do now, very nice bonfire now under the bonnet. Pancaking I start looking around and a bucket of sand catches my eye. Brilliant, threw it over, and with a bit of help throwing what fell through to the floor back on in different places I eventually get the fire extinguished. There will be some rather choice words with a few people the next time I see them. Anyway, tonight's antics has now put the project backwards rather than forwards. As thanks to the small fire, I now have 2 melted fuel hoses. 2 slightly melted HT leads. 1 ruined injector, other 2 look salvageable just need stripping and cleaning. And all 4 injector wiring plugs will need rewiring after the cables melting. The real annoyance is that with me having to throw sand over it, some has managed to find itself into the injector holes which mean's I think I will need to remove the head to get at it properly to remove it
and there is sand all over my engine bay now. Ah well, it could have been a lot worse. The whole car could have gone up in flames, or I could have had it in my garage where I was originally working on it and it have gone up in flames and taken the house with it. Although I have gotten off rather lightly in terms of damage, I'm still gutted as I was going to take the injectors over to my dad's tomorrow for him to strip and clean and rebuild. Which would have meant I could have possibly got the engine fired up in the next few days. But now I'm not sure when that's going to happen. But moral of the story is. When playing with fuel/injectors. Make sure the ignition system is disabled. Next time I play with anything like that I will be disconnecting all the HT leads. But I will be buying a big bag of sand and finding another fire extinguisher as well.
^^^OOFT^^^ Quick thinking. Get your fkwit buddies to buy you a fire extinguisher. And a bevvy. And a curry.
After the incident below, I felt like setting my own family members on fire.
I was just about to moan about my Brother pulling on the driveshaft that I told him not to, and losing a litre of oil, on a Sunday, in a rural part of Scotland. dhead. I had ran him through a how -to online before we started and made him aware of not pulling on the driveshaft after we had taken the hub nut off. A one hour job turned in to four, and a 25 mile round trip to get the gearbox oil nearest to spec as we could. Or any fking oil at all. Phone the local garage and they only had 80-90w when 75-85w was needed. Sent the Mrs to collect and she started going off on one about the grade of oil wrecking the gearbox, and me telling her quite sternly that a litre of fking oil, missing from the fking gearbox, and also the fking bding diff, was more likely to ruin the fking gearbox than me filling it with oil that was not of the correct fking spec.
She still made me dinner, bless her.
kwit buddies to buy you a fire extinguisher. And a bevvy. And a curry.After the incident below, I felt like setting my own family members on fire.
I was just about to moan about my Brother pulling on the driveshaft that I told him not to, and losing a litre of oil, on a Sunday, in a rural part of Scotland. d
head. I had ran him through a how -to online before we started and made him aware of not pulling on the driveshaft after we had taken the hub nut off. A one hour job turned in to four, and a 25 mile round trip to get the gearbox oil nearest to spec as we could. Or any fking oil at all. Phone the local garage and they only had 80-90w when 75-85w was needed. Sent the Mrs to collect and she started going off on one about the grade of oil wrecking the gearbox, and me telling her quite sternly that a litre of fking oil, missing from the fking gearbox, and also the fking bding diff, was more likely to ruin the fking gearbox than me filling it with oil that was not of the correct fking spec.She still made me dinner, bless her.
Couple of mine, neither anything major - i'm relatively handy but we all have a few clangers eh.
Changing the oil in my old S2 RST, 19 years old, parents newly monoblocked driveway... dropped the oil from the car, container filling up nicely - except the oil kept coming, que me scrambling around for another container before the original one filled up, sprinted to the shed, grabbed a tub, sprinted back to see the overfilling pan with oil still pouring out the car.
Parents went fking ballistic, i was scrubbing the driveway for days and days, never was the same colour again
Same car (learned alot with this one) wasn't starting, i pissed about, trying everything, battery changed, blah blah... Then, realised i had AA breakdown cover but not the 'homestart'policy.. so ingenious idea no1, got my mate to tow me to a quiet road about 3 miles away, phoned AA 'i've broken down, help'... AA mechanic comes out, checks my car 'your battery terminals are on the wrong way...?' totally rumbled. He swapped them back, jump started me and got me home but my plan never worked and I had to get it in to a proper mechanic a few days later. Think it was the alternator but can't remember, so much went wrong with that car! Loved it though.
Changing the oil in my old S2 RST, 19 years old, parents newly monoblocked driveway... dropped the oil from the car, container filling up nicely - except the oil kept coming, que me scrambling around for another container before the original one filled up, sprinted to the shed, grabbed a tub, sprinted back to see the overfilling pan with oil still pouring out the car.
Parents went f
king ballistic, i was scrubbing the driveway for days and days, never was the same colour again Same car (learned alot with this one) wasn't starting, i pissed about, trying everything, battery changed, blah blah... Then, realised i had AA breakdown cover but not the 'homestart'policy.. so ingenious idea no1, got my mate to tow me to a quiet road about 3 miles away, phoned AA 'i've broken down, help'... AA mechanic comes out, checks my car 'your battery terminals are on the wrong way...?' totally rumbled. He swapped them back, jump started me and got me home but my plan never worked and I had to get it in to a proper mechanic a few days later. Think it was the alternator but can't remember, so much went wrong with that car! Loved it though.
LeeThr said:
Just had my first major disaster tonight. I've been given a 1987 205 GTi 1.9 on the promise that I did everything I could to make sure it saw the road again.
I think I've still got a inlet manifold with injectors attached somewhere in my shed. Taken off my 1.9 around 5 years ago. Not sure if it's any good to you, but if I do still have it, it's in Southampton.DeuxCentCinq said:
I think I've still got a inlet manifold with injectors attached somewhere in my shed. Taken off my 1.9 around 5 years ago. Not sure if it's any good to you, but if I do still have it, it's in Southampton.
That would be very helpful if you do have it. Even if only one of them is good it would help me out, 3 out of my 4 should be salvageable, just the tip on the one that was right in the blaze has suffered. LeeThr said:
DeuxCentCinq said:
I think I've still got a inlet manifold with injectors attached somewhere in my shed. Taken off my 1.9 around 5 years ago. Not sure if it's any good to you, but if I do still have it, it's in Southampton.
That would be very helpful if you do have it. Even if only one of them is good it would help me out, 3 out of my 4 should be salvageable, just the tip on the one that was right in the blaze has suffered. DeuxCentCinq said:
LeeThr said:
DeuxCentCinq said:
I think I've still got a inlet manifold with injectors attached somewhere in my shed. Taken off my 1.9 around 5 years ago. Not sure if it's any good to you, but if I do still have it, it's in Southampton.
That would be very helpful if you do have it. Even if only one of them is good it would help me out, 3 out of my 4 should be salvageable, just the tip on the one that was right in the blaze has suffered. 
Could you leave a message on here just to say you have sent a PM as sometimes some messages do end up in my spam filter or not even arrive at all. I'm very much determined to get this one back on the road, last nights adventures is only a minor set back, this one was last on the road in 1999.
I will try and remove the inlet manifold on mine asap, and hopefully I may be able to get all the sand out that way without the need to remove the head, it just depends on how far in it's gotten.
Two for the price of one.
Servicing the 156, I was pleased to see the sump plug draining vertically down, so no need to position the drainer can by guesswork as to how far horizontally the oil will fire out, unlike the old Bora. However, I hadn't allowed for the speed at which the oil came out under gravity, and it perfectly hit one of the ridges in the top of the drainer can and, with all the grace of the Belaggio fountains, sprayed about two feet in both directions. In my haste to reposition the drainer can and the catch tray I had underneath to minimise the damage to the driveway, I dropped the sump plug. Further investigation revealed it was about the only thing that did, in fact, make it into the drainer can. Figures.
Then, whilst the car was still lifted, I attacked the oil on the driveway with the degreaser and washed it away, so that I didn't drive the car through the oil. Only after I then lowered the car did I realise I hadn't refitted the undertray, and now the drive was soaking wet. Bugger that, I can do it next weekend.
Hey ho, I'm sure I remember it being easier than this, I guess it's lack of practice.
Servicing the 156, I was pleased to see the sump plug draining vertically down, so no need to position the drainer can by guesswork as to how far horizontally the oil will fire out, unlike the old Bora. However, I hadn't allowed for the speed at which the oil came out under gravity, and it perfectly hit one of the ridges in the top of the drainer can and, with all the grace of the Belaggio fountains, sprayed about two feet in both directions. In my haste to reposition the drainer can and the catch tray I had underneath to minimise the damage to the driveway, I dropped the sump plug. Further investigation revealed it was about the only thing that did, in fact, make it into the drainer can. Figures.
Then, whilst the car was still lifted, I attacked the oil on the driveway with the degreaser and washed it away, so that I didn't drive the car through the oil. Only after I then lowered the car did I realise I hadn't refitted the undertray, and now the drive was soaking wet. Bugger that, I can do it next weekend.
Hey ho, I'm sure I remember it being easier than this, I guess it's lack of practice.
16plates said:
hman said:
TOP TIP:
Turn the oil stained bricks over.
LOL - never thought of that, genius. Turn the oil stained bricks over.
I'll go round tonight and crack on with that. Sure the family that bought the house when my parents moved out would appreciate it!
i have read this thread with with a picture of james may when he is in the aston on the ferry in italy and it won't start, and he looks at the camera deadpan as he goes through the ignition routine, suddenly realising he has a switch off instead of on
Fitted a Pulsar GTi-R engine into a fwd sunny GTi, cant remember exactly why but had to swap the speedo drive for the conversion (think one was electronic and the other cable, although i was still using the fwd box so maybe the ecu needed the electronic signal?) but after removing the bolt couldnt get the drive out of the box..... oh well who needs a speedo anyway. try again another day
Few days later and i was having a poke about under the bonnet with a friend, idle was a little lumpy and he noticed a vacuum pipe i hadn't connected up, after further investigation we found another pipe that wasn't connected to anything so joined the two up. idle immediately settled, pats on the back all round.
Drive off in the car, engine already warm, give it a bootful, boost builds then POP! I had connected the vacuum pipe to the gearbox breather. upon hitting 1.8 bar of boost the previously mentioned speedo drive decides it just cant hold the pressure any longer and fires out, along with a fair bit of gearbox oil all over my nice shiny engine bay. at least i got the speedo drive out though...and after teeing the vac pipe into another vac pipe my idle was also sorted.
Few days later and i was having a poke about under the bonnet with a friend, idle was a little lumpy and he noticed a vacuum pipe i hadn't connected up, after further investigation we found another pipe that wasn't connected to anything so joined the two up. idle immediately settled, pats on the back all round.
Drive off in the car, engine already warm, give it a bootful, boost builds then POP! I had connected the vacuum pipe to the gearbox breather. upon hitting 1.8 bar of boost the previously mentioned speedo drive decides it just cant hold the pressure any longer and fires out, along with a fair bit of gearbox oil all over my nice shiny engine bay. at least i got the speedo drive out though...and after teeing the vac pipe into another vac pipe my idle was also sorted.
Story 1:
Was fitting a new engine to my car and had just got it to a state where it should fire up. Checked the fluids and battery, got in, cranked, heard it fire, saw a plume of smoke. Turns out engines require earths, it had found the path of least resistance, which happened to be my brand new braided brake lines. The guy at pirtek who made up the lines for me took pity and replaced it for free.
Story 2:
Same car as above, now running and driveable (sort of), took it for a spin round the block. First dab of the brakes and hear a horrible grinding noise and no brakes. Pull back onto the drive and stop with the handbrake only to realise I only put the top bolts into the brake hub carriers leaving the callipers to swing round and ruin the inside face of my newly refurbed alloys.
Story 3:
Different car this time. Had just replaced the front pads and took the car into work (15mi drive). It was tradition to take turns giving a lift to tescos for lunch, my turn and 4 up I notice there is a wobble which goes away at higher speed. Turns out I didn't tighten the wheel nuts and the OSF wheel is now only held on with luck and bad judgement. Never had to give anyone a lift after that.
Story 4:
Mate offers to help me change a rear axle. I get two jacks set up to support it and he says don't bother he'll hold it like it was a bench press. Last bolt undone he finally realises it weighs more than he can hold and the beam crashes down on him giving him a cracked rib for the pleasure.
Story 5:
Emptied out a petrol tank and had a litre of crud from the bottom to dispose of. Put it in a bottle on patio and forgot about it. Said bottle gets smashed, petrol everywhere. Decide that burning it off is the obvious solution.Turns out petrol burns with a huge plume of black smoke that makes neighbours think there is something horribly wrong. Fire Brigade weren't too pleased with us...
Probably shouldn't work on cars but more success stories than failures.
Was fitting a new engine to my car and had just got it to a state where it should fire up. Checked the fluids and battery, got in, cranked, heard it fire, saw a plume of smoke. Turns out engines require earths, it had found the path of least resistance, which happened to be my brand new braided brake lines. The guy at pirtek who made up the lines for me took pity and replaced it for free.
Story 2:
Same car as above, now running and driveable (sort of), took it for a spin round the block. First dab of the brakes and hear a horrible grinding noise and no brakes. Pull back onto the drive and stop with the handbrake only to realise I only put the top bolts into the brake hub carriers leaving the callipers to swing round and ruin the inside face of my newly refurbed alloys.
Story 3:
Different car this time. Had just replaced the front pads and took the car into work (15mi drive). It was tradition to take turns giving a lift to tescos for lunch, my turn and 4 up I notice there is a wobble which goes away at higher speed. Turns out I didn't tighten the wheel nuts and the OSF wheel is now only held on with luck and bad judgement. Never had to give anyone a lift after that.
Story 4:
Mate offers to help me change a rear axle. I get two jacks set up to support it and he says don't bother he'll hold it like it was a bench press. Last bolt undone he finally realises it weighs more than he can hold and the beam crashes down on him giving him a cracked rib for the pleasure.
Story 5:
Emptied out a petrol tank and had a litre of crud from the bottom to dispose of. Put it in a bottle on patio and forgot about it. Said bottle gets smashed, petrol everywhere. Decide that burning it off is the obvious solution.Turns out petrol burns with a huge plume of black smoke that makes neighbours think there is something horribly wrong. Fire Brigade weren't too pleased with us...
Probably shouldn't work on cars but more success stories than failures.
Esotericstuff said:
Story 1:
Was fitting a new engine to my car and had just got it to a state where it should fire up. Checked the fluids and battery, got in, cranked, heard it fire, saw a plume of smoke. Turns out engines require earths, it had found the path of least resistance, which happened to be my brand new braided brake lines. The guy at pirtek who made up the lines for me took pity and replaced it for free.
Story 2:
Same car as above, now running and driveable (sort of), took it for a spin round the block. First dab of the brakes and hear a horrible grinding noise and no brakes. Pull back onto the drive and stop with the handbrake only to realise I only put the top bolts into the brake hub carriers leaving the callipers to swing round and ruin the inside face of my newly refurbed alloys.
Story 3:
Different car this time. Had just replaced the front pads and took the car into work (15mi drive). It was tradition to take turns giving a lift to tescos for lunch, my turn and 4 up I notice there is a wobble which goes away at higher speed. Turns out I didn't tighten the wheel nuts and the OSF wheel is now only held on with luck and bad judgement. Never had to give anyone a lift after that.
Story 4:
Mate offers to help me change a rear axle. I get two jacks set up to support it and he says don't bother he'll hold it like it was a bench press. Last bolt undone he finally realises it weighs more than he can hold and the beam crashes down on him giving him a cracked rib for the pleasure.
Story 5:
Emptied out a petrol tank and had a litre of crud from the bottom to dispose of. Put it in a bottle on patio and forgot about it. Said bottle gets smashed, petrol everywhere. Decide that burning it off is the obvious solution.Turns out petrol burns with a huge plume of black smoke that makes neighbours think there is something horribly wrong. Fire Brigade weren't too pleased with us...
Probably shouldn't work on cars but more success stories than failures.
Have you ever considered using a garage to do the work ? much safer !Was fitting a new engine to my car and had just got it to a state where it should fire up. Checked the fluids and battery, got in, cranked, heard it fire, saw a plume of smoke. Turns out engines require earths, it had found the path of least resistance, which happened to be my brand new braided brake lines. The guy at pirtek who made up the lines for me took pity and replaced it for free.
Story 2:
Same car as above, now running and driveable (sort of), took it for a spin round the block. First dab of the brakes and hear a horrible grinding noise and no brakes. Pull back onto the drive and stop with the handbrake only to realise I only put the top bolts into the brake hub carriers leaving the callipers to swing round and ruin the inside face of my newly refurbed alloys.
Story 3:
Different car this time. Had just replaced the front pads and took the car into work (15mi drive). It was tradition to take turns giving a lift to tescos for lunch, my turn and 4 up I notice there is a wobble which goes away at higher speed. Turns out I didn't tighten the wheel nuts and the OSF wheel is now only held on with luck and bad judgement. Never had to give anyone a lift after that.
Story 4:
Mate offers to help me change a rear axle. I get two jacks set up to support it and he says don't bother he'll hold it like it was a bench press. Last bolt undone he finally realises it weighs more than he can hold and the beam crashes down on him giving him a cracked rib for the pleasure.
Story 5:
Emptied out a petrol tank and had a litre of crud from the bottom to dispose of. Put it in a bottle on patio and forgot about it. Said bottle gets smashed, petrol everywhere. Decide that burning it off is the obvious solution.Turns out petrol burns with a huge plume of black smoke that makes neighbours think there is something horribly wrong. Fire Brigade weren't too pleased with us...
Probably shouldn't work on cars but more success stories than failures.
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