Which "stealth" fast car ?

[schmalex]

billywhizzzzzz said:

RoadToNowhere said:

troc said:

Audi S4. Quite often less showy (especially debadged) than the run of the mill S-line versions but goes like stink

Precisely why I have one! v8 / S4 badges coming off at the weekend, too...

Me too! especially on winter wheels. looks like a bottom of the range 1.9 tdi. Fabulous!

S4's aren't really that quick, though.... They are all show and not much go in my opinion.

[billywhizzzzzz]

schmalex said:

billywhizzzzzz said:

RoadToNowhere said:

troc said:

Audi S4. Quite often less showy (especially debadged) than the run of the mill S-line versions but goes like stink

Precisely why I have one! v8 / S4 badges coming off at the weekend, too...

Me too! especially on winter wheels. looks like a bottom of the range 1.9 tdi. Fabulous!

S4's aren't really that quick, though.... They are all show and not much go in my opinion.

Well, they're pretty quick for a very ordinary looking wagon - and the issue here is Stealth!

S4:0-62mph: 5.6 seconds, Power: 339bhp | Torque: 302lb ft

[rs4al]

schmalex said:

S4's aren't really that quick, though.... They are all show and not much go in my opinion.

Ok what's faster and more boring looking !?

4.2v8 0-60 5.5s 3.0 sc 0-60 5.2s

Don't think you will find faster and still looks like a standard A4.

[billywhizzzzzz]

rs4al said:

schmalex said:

S4's aren't really that quick, though.... They are all show and not much go in my opinion.

Ok what's faster and more boring looking !?

4.2v8 0-60 5.5s 3.0 sc 0-60 5.2s

Don't think you will find faster and still looks like a standard A4.

agree - NOTHING is faster yet as boring looking! Precisely why I have it. It the the epitome of stealth!

[schmalex]

rs4al said:

schmalex said:

S4's aren't really that quick, though.... They are all show and not much go in my opinion.

Ok what's faster and more boring looking !?

4.2v8 0-60 5.5s 3.0 sc 0-60 5.2s

Don't think you will find faster and still looks like a standard A4.

Merc CLK 500. Quicker to 60 than the S4, pulls harder all the way through the range and much, much less showy than the S4
A BMW 335D will easily keep tabs on an S4 (unless it's very wet)

I've had 2 of them (B6 Avant and currently have a B7 cab) and to be honest, in the performance stakes, they are just a bit "meh", considering all the "roar", "rarr", "grrr" noises they make. Don't get me wrong, they are fine cars, but are neither particularly stealthy with their quad (on the B7) tailpipes, flashy silver mirrors and deliberate "V8" noise or particularly quick considering the noise they make.

I'd like to drive an RS4, as I always feel that the S4 is left wanting for something more.

Edited by schmalex on Tuesday 20th November 22:18

[Scrof]

Stealthy? Fast? I'll go with an X308 XJR, please. Preferrably MY2000, so that the tensioners don't go 'spoing' and it's not liable for all the tax in the world, ever. And an XJR100 like this one would be even better. Santa?

[billywhizzzzzz]

schmalex said:

rs4al said:

schmalex said:

S4's aren't really that quick, though.... They are all show and not much go in my opinion.

Ok what's faster and more boring looking !?

4.2v8 0-60 5.5s 3.0 sc 0-60 5.2s

Don't think you will find faster and still looks like a standard A4.

Merc CLK 500. Quicker to 60 than the S4, pulls harder all the way through the range and much, much less showy than the S4
A BMW 335D will easily keep tabs on an S4 (unless it's very wet)

I've had 2 of them (B6 Avant and currently have a B7 cab) and to be honest, in the performance stakes, they are just a bit "meh", considering all the "roar", "rarr", "grrr" noises they make. Don't get me wrong, they are fine cars, but are neither particularly stealthy with their quad (on the B7) tailpipes, flashy silver mirrors and deliberate "V8" noise or particularly quick

Well, the merc looks like a flash merc coupe - whereas I truly think that you just don't notice the B6. Specifically sought out a B6 as hated the quad pipes of the B7... I'd wager that no one has the foggiest that it's not a 2k 90hp diesel wagon!

[STURBO]

How about a Forester?

Some of the 2.5's have 260bhp and 0-6 5.5

Nothing stand out about it, other than the Subaru burble.

[Paul v8]

Last series BMW 06plate 535 diesel proper rocket shop . Get bluefin kit on it debadged much fun ahead

[Baryonyx]

cjb1 said:

OK, it's not straight out of a VX showroom but it is kinda fun, my lads "1.2" Corsa SXi+ just lowered a bit, nice wheels and knocking out in excess of 270BHP, wolf in sheeps clothing that scares the crap out of VXR's, Type 'R's, 'ST's and the like.

Stealthy? It screams "EVERYONE IN THE MCDONALD'S CAR PARK PLEASE LOOK AT ME! PLEASE!".

Interesting to see the Rover 75 V8 mentioned. I was behind one of those on the A69 once on an uphill section that turns to a D/C to let traffic pass HGV's in lane one. One of these things, which undoubtedly could make mincemeat of the uphill section, caused a right bloody nuisance by 'overtaking' a lorry in lane 1 at about 40mph. Cue massive tailback of traffic behind the Rover ending up in the protected area at the end of the D/C. Nice one! Nothing like having bags of grunt and driving like a pensioner.

[Paul v8]

Debadged early 5.7 Monaro as most didn't know what they were

[lunchbox]

GMC Typhoon, 0-60 in 5.3. Fairly unassuming appearance.

[Mastodon2]

SlimJim16v said:

How about one one of the old Minis, where they fit Hayabusa engines etc? Reving to about 14,000rpm might give the game away though.

Edited by SlimJim16v on Tuesday 20th November 21:01

They don't rev to about 14,000rpm, only about 10,000rpm or even less in a road car, which is still impressive of course, not so impressive is their reliability - the engines are fairly stressed, as one Z car owning PHer discovered when his Hayabusa engine had a critical failure as a rod shot out the sie of the block. The suspension on them at the rear is prehistoric too. They are quick, is flighty, when they are working though, but they aren't stealthy. You could order one to look fairly unassuming, but the wide arches, semi slick tyres and the general tone and volume of them are a bit of a giveaway.

[schmalex]

BMW 135i's are pretty quick
BMW 123D's are none too shabby
BMW 550SE would be close to perfect for a very rapid, very stealthy carriage
As would a VW Phaeton W12

[greggy50]

Clio 172 take the renault sport badges off the back and every rep mobile assumes you are a 1.2 and can be bullied out of the way...

[rockandrollmark]

Mazda 6 MPS has got to be in with a shout here, hasn't it. Mazda are not exactly known for making quick cars, at least not here in the UK. Car and Driver managed to get it from 0-60 in 5.4, yet it looks like a minicab.

Honourable mentions also have to go to the R170 SLK32 AMG. Ferrari troubling performance when it came out, but de-badge it and it'd look more at home in front of Toni & Guy's than it would setting hot laps at the 'ring

[davepoth]

Mercedes R-Class.

Available as an R63 AMG. I don't think anyone would believe the badges even if they saw them.

[blearyeyedboy]

cjb1 said:

OK, it's not straight out of a VX showroom but it is kinda fun, my lads "1.2" Corsa SXi+ just lowered a bit, nice wheels and knocking out in excess of 270BHP, wolf in sheeps clothing that scares the crap out of VXR's, Type 'R's, 'ST's and the like.

Great work on the mechanicals of your "1.2".

But if you want stealthy... Lose the bodykit, spray paint it beige, install a couple of Peppa Pig sun visors and baby seats and put some Powered By Fairydust stickers on it. Then you'll really have a stealth car.

Volvos, Skodas and Japanese cars score highly. If you must go Premium German, make it an estate if you want the stealthy look. Make it look like you have children, buy a car in a boring colour and FFS don't buy a Drug Dealer Spec SUV.

I'm a bit perverse in this way. I want a car with a lovely interior that handles like a Cayman, but looks like a minicab.

EDIT: Perhaps a Focus ST *estate* in black might do it? One in Tangerine Scream definitely won't...

Edited by blearyeyedboy on Wednesday 21st November 01:21

[Big News]

cjb1 said:

OK, it's not straight out of a VX showroom but it is kinda fun, my lads "1.2" Corsa SXi+ just lowered a bit, nice wheels and knocking out in excess of 270BHP, wolf in sheeps clothing that scares the crap out of VXR's, Type 'R's, 'ST's and the like.

That photo happily demonstrates the reason I want to kill every car with aftermarket HIDs.

ALIGN THEM PROPERLY

[CatScan]

My little red wagon is, while not supercar quick, nippy enough to surprise, and in granny spec red is pretty subtle (I like to think anyway).

You need to be a bit of a car geek to tell a Mondeo ST220 from a cooking model.