One single thing that makes you think "knob" Vol 2

[The Don of Croy]

carreauchompeur said:

budfox said:

Ownership of a Honda Jazz.

Oh yes, having followed one for around 3 miles on a country road with no safe overtaking spots at average speed of 18mph and still braking for corners...

Best you avoid National Trust properties (this is Polesdon Lacey near Leatherhead -



- they hunt in packs now).

[boxedin]

johnny fotze said:

I've noticed recently what may be the antithesis of the middle lane dweller; the magnetically drawn left no matter what (I'm guessing that title won't catch on). An example being; overtaking a heavy on a quiet stretch of motorway, with two more heavies ahead and lane 3 empty, and a single car approaching from behind. I decide to maintain position in lane 2 rather than pull back into lane 1 and immediately back into 2. The aforementioned approaching car is now upon me, but instead of using an otherwise unoccupied lane 3, he does a massively exaggerated swerve into lane 1 and attempts to overtake on the left. However, he either underestimated the proximity of the heavies in lane 1 or/and overestimated his cars acceleration,as there was no way he was going to pass in time. This left me a dilemma; do I knock the cruise off and slow down so he can make the gap?, or do I sit tight and let him do the braking? Being an ace driver (alright, maybe not ace, but above an average that seems to get lower every year) I chose option 3, and moved over into lane 3 to accommodate the non-Audi driving cock womble. Unfortunately the driver of the heavy saw this as an opportunity to indulge in a little elephant race, and pulled into lane 2 with the car almost inserted in his bum. The last thing I saw was the car swerve partly into lane 3 and then suddenly drop back never to be seen again. I can only assume he either had a sudden onset of self awareness and stopped being a nob, or he got too close and clipped the trailer in front.

Edited by johnny fotze on Wednesday 3rd September 13:59

I see this all the time in the North ( west and east ).. they won't move to the outside lane and overtake , as I'm passing a handful of HGVs, its late at night and I can't be bothered to flip in and out for no-one's benefit ( 2 lane auto/route/bahn during the day is different ). They'll do the above ( elephant race down L1 and then get stuck themselves ) and sometimes they'll just drop off behind you in the middle lane never to resurface. weird.

[Mouse1903]

Probably said it before, but when you are in the overtaking lane coming up to a slip lane, doing the speed limit and plenty time to pull in, but the driver on the insides life is so meaningless unless he decides to speed up on purpose and effectively undercut you

[DervVW]

where the m5 splits north and south for the m6, the lorry sitting on the hatching, what were you thinking? And then simply signaling right as though someone is going to stop to let you out? I didn't envy his task of correcting that mistake...

[carlove]

Saw this in the local news and thought of this thread.
Motorist banned after admitting speeding and lighting cigarette while a child stood in passenger seat
I can't help but notice the driver has his seatbelt on while the child is stood in the seat without one.

[Countdown]

Mouse1903 said:

Probably said it before, but when you are in the overtaking lane coming up to a slip lane, doing the speed limit and plenty time to pull in, but the driver on the insides life is so meaningless unless he decides to speed up on purpose and effectively undercut you

Do you mean effectively he's stopping you from leaving the motorway or joining the motorway?

[yellowjack]

Mouse1903 said:

Probably said it before, but when you are in the overtaking lane coming up to a slip lane, doing the speed limit and plenty time to pull in, but the driver on the insides life is so meaningless unless he decides to speed up on purpose and effectively undercut you

Flip side? (And I'm not suggesting you are one of them, by the way)

I'm heartily sick of nub ends insisting that they absolutely must overtake me, and then immediately cut across right in front of me to exit the M-way, despite the fact that there's about half a mile of empty lane 1 behind me, into which they could have slipped, safely and effortlessly.

The countdown to the junction starts a fking mile away, then reminds you twice, at half a mile and a quarter of a mile, before finally virtually slapping you about the head with closely spaced '///' '//' '/' marker boards, yet some of the tossers out there won't even consider moving across to lane 1 until they are past the dotted line demarking the start of the slip road.

I'm quietly hoping that one of them will, one day, get stuck in lane 2 alongside me, and have to go on to the next junction to turn around. Fking loser halfwit twunts.

And as a Brucie Bonus, you can have the clowns who barrel down entry slip roads and attempt to force you to move over. Usually when there is a constant stream of traffic in lane 2 preventing you from moving safely into it even if you wanted to. Fk right off, you idiots. YOU are the one crossing a dotted white line, therefore YOU are required to cede priority to traffic already established in the lane which you are trying to join. Seriously, you DO NOT have "Right of Way" (it's actually "priority", by the way, you thick fk). If your car doesn't have the grunt to get into the space ahead of me, slow the fk down and pick a space behind me. The laws of bloody Physics will not allow two objects to occupy the same space at the same time, and I'm already in it!!!

[sim72]

On a similar topic, my commute to work in the morning involves joining the M1 southbound at J18. For those not familiar, this is the entry for both the huge DIRFT logistics park and also for everything coming from the Stobart base / overnight truckstop just up the A5. Therefore, as you come round the roundabout and up the (heavily inclined) entry slip you regularly get yourself behind a heavy or two. The entry ramp (which is a long one), however, is wide enough for two vehicles even if one is a heavy. There are two pieces of terrible driving that go on here.

(a) Heavy vehicle straddling the middle of the ramp as it drags itself up it, with a queue forming behind it leaving a whole string of traffic trying to enter a jam-packed M1 at 30mph
(b) Even worse, the heavy is nicely tucked away to the left but the muppet behind is scared of trying to overtake it, so sits themselves in an "overtaking" position just behind and to the right, meaning that no-one else can get past, leading to the same result.

I really, really, wish they'd simply paint a lane marking up the middle of the damn thing.

[Big Rod]

johnny fotze said:

I've noticed recently what may be the antithesis of the middle lane dweller; the magnetically drawn left no matter what (I'm guessing that title won't catch on). An example being; overtaking a heavy on a quiet stretch of motorway, with two more heavies ahead and lane 3 empty, and a single car approaching from behind. I decide to maintain position in lane 2 rather than pull back into lane 1 and immediately back into 2. The aforementioned approaching car is now upon me, but instead of using an otherwise unoccupied lane 3, he does a massively exaggerated swerve into lane 1 and attempts to overtake on the left. However, he either underestimated the proximity of the heavies in lane 1 or/and overestimated his cars acceleration,as there was no way he was going to pass in time. This left me a dilemma; do I knock the cruise off and slow down so he can make the gap?, or do I sit tight and let him do the braking? Being an ace driver (alright, maybe not ace, but above an average that seems to get lower every year) I chose option 3, and moved over into lane 3 to accommodate the non-Audi driving cock womble. Unfortunately the driver of the heavy saw this as an opportunity to indulge in a little elephant race, and pulled into lane 2 with the car almost inserted in his bum. The last thing I saw was the car swerve partly into lane 3 and then suddenly drop back never to be seen again. I can only assume he either had a sudden onset of self awareness and stopped being a nob, or he got too close and clipped the trailer in front.

Orrrr, considering you saw the other car was coming you could've saved all the trouble by using the road in the way it was intended to be in the first place.

But, fair enough. If there was another lane to use then maybe you have a point.

Edited by Big Rod on Thursday 4th September 00:21

[Halmyre]

yellowjack said:

Flip side? (And I'm not suggesting you are one of them, by the way)

I'm heartily sick of nub ends insisting that they absolutely must overtake me, and then immediately cut across right in front of me to exit the M-way, despite the fact that there's about half a mile of empty lane 1 behind me, into which they could have slipped, safely and effortlessly.

The countdown to the junction starts a fking mile away, then reminds you twice, at half a mile and a quarter of a mile, before finally virtually slapping you about the head with closely spaced '///' '//' '/' marker boards, yet some of the tossers out there won't even consider moving across to lane 1 until they are past the dotted line demarking the start of the slip road.

I'm quietly hoping that one of them will, one day, get stuck in lane 2 alongside me, and have to go on to the next junction to turn around. Fking loser halfwit twunts.

Another bonus is that the knob's antics usually cause the drivers behind to ease off or dab the brakes, so beginning the compression wave that brings traffic to a grinding halt a few miles back.

[Triumph Man]

Why do people come racing up behind you almost into your boot when there are lorries in front of you? I had someone do that this morning. Look pal, I'm hanging back because there's an overtaking spot coming, and I'd like to see around the vehicles in front! Furthermore it's not me holding you up is it?

[drivin_me_nuts]

The Don of Croy said:

carreauchompeur said:

budfox said:

Ownership of a Honda Jazz.

Oh yes, having followed one for around 3 miles on a country road with no safe overtaking spots at average speed of 18mph and still braking for corners...

Best you avoid National Trust properties (this is Polesdon Lacey near Leatherhead -



- they hunt in packs now).

Oh, I like the NT experience and cream teas, over priced marmalade and that tampon advert blue one.. well, that's the colour of mine

</hides head in shame>

[Cliftonite]

Triumph Man said:

Why do people come racing up behind you almost into your boot when there are lorries in front of you? I had someone do that this morning. Look pal, I'm hanging back because there's an overtaking spot coming, and I'd like to see around the vehicles in front! Furthermore it's not me holding you up is it?

You confused him! When did you last see a gap in front of someone following a lorry?

[JagXJR]

ManOpener said:

I had a woman do exactly this to me in an old Polo not so long ago, but she underestimated the speed I was doing and I was basically alongside her when she pulled out. I managed to squeeze past her before she actually hit me but it was a fairly close call. Rest of the journey entirely uneventful.

She then followed me all the way to work and shouted at me about my "dangerous" overtake. Absolute pillock.

Hope you educated her?

[ManOpener]

JagXJR said:

ManOpener said:

I had a woman do exactly this to me in an old Polo not so long ago, but she underestimated the speed I was doing and I was basically alongside her when she pulled out. I managed to squeeze past her before she actually hit me but it was a fairly close call. Rest of the journey entirely uneventful.

She then followed me all the way to work and shouted at me about my "dangerous" overtake. Absolute pillock.

Hope you educated her?

I was so astonished I couldn't formulate a response until after she'd left, sadly.
Ironically, some weeks later I saw an identically coloured Polo upside-down in a field along the same road. Always been of the belief it was probably her.

[Cliftonite]

Same old, same old . . .






This van was in Lane 3 (of 4) for some three miles at least. It was two miles after the first picture before he came across anything in Lane 2 to overtake. Only a sprinkling of vehicles in Lane 1.

Please note the little knot of vehicles behind him (her?), in procession!

[m8rky]

Cliftonite said:

Same old, same old . . .






This van was in Lane 3 (of 4) for some three miles at least. It was two miles after the first picture before he came across anything in Lane 2 to overtake. Only a sprinkling of vehicles in Lane 1.

Please note the little knot of vehicles behind him (her?), in procession!

The VW transporter brigade are rapidly reaching Qashqai levels of twuntishness. Is it just me or do they also think they have a god ridden right of entry from sideroads/ driveways/ etc on to main roads?

[boxedin]

Cliftonite said:

Same old, same old . . .




This van was in Lane 3 (of 4) for some three miles at least. It was two miles after the first picture before he came across anything in Lane 2 to overtake. Only a sprinkling of vehicles in Lane 1.

Please note the little knot of vehicles behind him (her?), in procession!

so honestly, what problem was s/he causing.. none..

oh, apart from bothering you.

[Cliftonite]

boxedin said:

so honestly, what problem was s/he causing.. none..

oh, apart from bothering you.

Not sure whether serious . . .

[MarkRSi]

Today it was black jeep who thought it would be a good idea to accelerate when I was overtaking them on a straight road (good job the Megane RS was in 3rd gear!). Then the utter creep followed me back to my street in full view of the neighbours, was slightly tempted to ask if they were lost but alas they drove off before I got the chance.

(yeah I know cool story bro/no punchlines/VBRJ/no utter fking fkity weapons grade fk swearing/stting ranting etc.)