One single thing that makes you think "knob" Vol 2

One single thing that makes you think "knob" Vol 2

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oilspill

649 posts

194 months

Sunday 14th September 2014
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The biggest knobs are the Honda VTEC and Subaru WRX drivers fitting outrageously loud (and stupid looking) exhausts, bringing forward a ban on modding altogether due to the increase in noise complaints.

Pauly-b

131 posts

190 months

Sunday 14th September 2014
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Longish post here - So apologies. Usually fan boys of a particular marque or car drive me round the bend - the constant sniping between Audi / BMW / Rear wheel drive / Front wheel drive gets a little tedious.. But not today..

We're very fortunate to have a retired gentleman in our street who's is an expert in all things - theoretically lets call him Tim & he has a Blue RX8.. Tim knows everything about everything...Politics, mechanics, the intricate design of hoovers, particularly immigration.. Repeatedly....(possibly not Plate Tectonics though as Eileen does the dishes but you get the idea....)

Today Tim provided a public service which I feel everyone on Pistonheads should know. Whilst trying to get an old piece of kitchen work surface into the car to go to the tip - Seemingly made of armour plate from a WW2 King Tiger so I was struggling... Tim (real name Duncan and his RX8 is red) approached me to give me the benefit of his experience...

Now the apple of Tim's eye (Real name Duncan & washes his car with a shirt and tie on) is his RX8... In his mind all other cars have come... All have fallen before him.... He had some key information I needed to hear.. And hear straight away...

I am alas, he decided, an innocent aboard but, he was here to help... I had made a terrible financial decision... My new car is about to become a catastrophic disaster of depreciation... It will be, according to Tim, practically worthless in the next three years... But, as he's my new best pal he has a solution.

This could only be balanced by the purchase of a couple of RX8's (the much sought after 180bhp version like Tim's obviously) - the values of which are about to skyrocket and quadruple in value imminently... This will balance my woeful error of judgement over the next few years.. As you can imagine I was both grateful & thrilled.. Getting ever increasingly thrilled as he went on for over half an hour about it.... How fortunate we are to have this knowledge in our community...

I shall now be getting the front garden paved over to store these future gems but I thought the Pistonheads community should also share in my good fortune...

Two final things.... Duncan does actually exist.... He's an utter Nimrod.... And yes this is the worst topic ever started to see if I can get you to check out my garage.....

I hate Duncan... You try living near him.....

P I Staker

3,308 posts

157 months

Sunday 14th September 2014
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rofl

TheAllSeeingPie

865 posts

136 months

Sunday 14th September 2014
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Pauly-b said:
I hate Duncan... You try living near him.....
I'm either tired or much more prone to murder but at one point I thought the patio was for hiding "Tim" under next time he gave you advice. Alternatively if you want to upset him you could key his car and it'd probably be a write-off ... (not advised and probably quite bad karma)

daveky

148 posts

143 months

Sunday 14th September 2014
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jogger1976 said:
Two from this week.

The woman in the Jaguar XF at Toddington Services who parked so close to my car that she couldn't actually get out. She spent 5 minutes faffing around and kept looking over at me with daggers while I was trying to enjoy my coffee. To compound her knobbishness, the car park was pretty empty and the spaces were 5 deep either side of me. She eventually gave up and drove off to the other side of the car parksilly

The heroin chic muppet in the scabby Freelander who completely ignored the one way at my local retail park. He narrowly avoided having a head on with a Zafira, before sharply swerving into the parking space next to me......just as I was about to open my door. mad Probably a split second later and I could been looking at a stay in hospital and some hefty damage to my car.
When I challenged him he reacted with such a foul-mouthed, aggressive rant that it attracted the attention of two security guards who came and asked what the problem was. After more shouting and swearing he got back in his car and drove off. What really appalled me was that he had a young child with him who looked pretty upset at what was happening. His details were passed on to the Police and the security guards said that they would forward the CCTV. Hopefully he'll get his comeuppance.

Sounds like he was on benefits. The kid will grow up on benefits. Their kids will be on benefits. Rinse and repeat for the next millennium.

daveky

148 posts

143 months

Sunday 14th September 2014
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DavidJG said:
"Chav-Plate" - sometimes called a personalised plate, more frequently known as a "Vanity Plate". Essential equipment for all aspiring chavs. I appreciate that you may think I'm a knob myself for expressing this opinion - sorry, but it is my opinion and I'm sticking with it. Don't care if you think it should appear in the 'Real Good Number Plates' thread, or the 'what crappy plates....' thread, in my opinion (which you are welcome to disagree with), they're all "Chav-plates"

My apologies to anyone I offend by this; it comes from years of observing the fact that the worst driving that I see is usually from people who seem to think that by purchasing their own registration, they're also either purchased the very road on which they drive, or somehow become exempt from the requirement to obey the highway code or show any respect for other road users.
They have far more money than us. Look they've got so much money and have superiority tendencies that every other road user should know what their name is.

I don't know what their name is bit I can quite easily see that they are a fat, bald cun't.

anonymous-user

55 months

Sunday 14th September 2014
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Anyone with a black bull sticker on the back of their car. So you went to Spain and want to tell the world about you can afford a crappy package holiday to Malaga, I despair.

The moron in the 52 plate A6 on the A38 towards Bristol this evening seemingly unable to sit behind other traffic who overtook every car infront regardless of whether it was actually safe to do so...... We reach the M4/5 junction and as a result of traffic lights and the cars you overtook having turned off the A38, there is one car between us.

Middle aged men driving alone in a VW T3/4/5 Van in Cornwall. Especially the red one with some stickers on the bonnet in Redruth. You ended up off the road because its a van not a sportscar.

People who are in the wrong lane at large roundabouts and can not comprehend doing a lap of the roundabout and getting into the right lane but instead cut across all the their lanes and expect everyone else to take avoiding action because you are incompentant at reading signs.


TheAllSeeingPie

865 posts

136 months

Sunday 14th September 2014
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People who won't pull the fk over on dual carriageways even when you and them are the only cars in sight.

JagXJR

1,261 posts

130 months

Sunday 14th September 2014
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DavidJG said:
"Chav-Plate" - sometimes called a personalised plate, more frequently known as a "Vanity Plate". Essential equipment for all aspiring chavs. I appreciate that you may think I'm a knob myself for expressing this opinion - sorry, but it is my opinion and I'm sticking with it. Don't care if you think it should appear in the 'Real Good Number Plates' thread, or the 'what crappy plates....' thread, in my opinion (which you are welcome to disagree with), they're all "Chav-plates"

My apologies to anyone I offend by this; it comes from years of observing the fact that the worst driving that I see is usually from people who seem to think that by purchasing their own registration, they're also either purchased the very road on which they drive, or somehow become exempt from the requirement to obey the highway code or show any respect for other road users.
So you're calling me a chav? That makes you a judgemental knob!

All of my cars have private registration plates on them. All 3. That is because they are low mileage, well-maintained, looked-after vehicles that do not show their age, so I put these plates on them so judgemental people like you don't think I am a chav and can't afford to buy a newer car. I can but choose not to. That way I can run 3 vehicles for less than the price of one. That way I can use the right tool for the job, if the sun is shining I take the convertible if it is raining I take the 4 wheel drive saloon. In winter the 4wd Jaguar with winter tyres is usually the car of choice.

In my experience it is normally the drivers of newer vehicles with newer year registration plates that exhibit the behaviour you describe, I paid xx thousands of pounds for my car so I'll do what the hell I like! Either that or those that drive ratty sheds that look like dogs dinners!

So yes, I do very much disagree with your blinkered opinion!

ETA Oh perhaps I should point out, none of the registrations spell my name or describe me in any way. Two are just none dating plates. The other does describe the model of car so apologies for those souls who are so sad that this offends them! I actually bought the car with it on, but quite like it so am not bothered about changing it.

Edited by JagXJR on Sunday 14th September 20:07


Edited by JagXJR on Sunday 14th September 20:11

CharlesdeGaulle

26,294 posts

181 months

Sunday 14th September 2014
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pablo said:
Middle aged men driving alone in a VW T3/4/5 Van in Cornwall. Especially the red one with some stickers on the bonnet in Redruth. You ended up off the road because its a van not a sportscar.
Padblo - I'm no VW or MPV apologist, but might it be possible that it was a petrol head, in the family bus, alone and saw the chance to have some fun?

Not excusing driving like a dick, but we've all given it some welly when the unexpected opportunity arises.

And no, I don't drive a VW Camper.

Blown2CV

28,852 posts

204 months

Sunday 14th September 2014
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what do cherished registrations do though, apart from act as a conspicuous badge of wealth, or at least perceived wealth? People can bang on about non-knobbish reasons for buying private plates, but to me it just sounds like a woman justifying going up 3 cup sizes "not for anyone else, but for me" or "because it makes my dresses fit better".

Basically, you just like having your tits ogled. Except they're not as good as tits, because they're just numbers and letters on a bit of plastic.


JagXJR

1,261 posts

130 months

Sunday 14th September 2014
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Already explained why. Not that it is anyone else's business of course.

The people that must have the latest registration number are the real show-offs, even if they can only afford some cheap st box to show it off on.

Like designer clothing and accessories like watches Not buying into that crap.

Note - Not saying the people who buy these things are knobs, their choice. Just does not interest me.

ezi

1,734 posts

187 months

Sunday 14th September 2014
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Plates with fewer characters make cars look a lot 'cleaner'.

DavidJG

3,548 posts

133 months

Sunday 14th September 2014
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JagXJR said:
So you're calling me a chav? That makes you a judgemental knob!

All of my cars have private registration plates on them. All 3. That is because they are low mileage, well-maintained, looked-after vehicles that do not show their age, so I put these plates on them so judgemental people like you don't think I am a chav and can't afford to buy a newer car. I can but choose not to. That way I can run 3 vehicles for less than the price of one. That way I can use the right tool for the job, if the sun is shining I take the convertible if it is raining I take the 4 wheel drive saloon. In winter the 4wd Jaguar with winter tyres is usually the car of choice.

In my experience it is normally the drivers of newer vehicles with newer year registration plates that exhibit the behaviour you describe, I paid xx thousands of pounds for my car so I'll do what the hell I like! Either that or those that drive ratty sheds that look like dogs dinners!

So yes, I do very much disagree with your blinkered opinion!

ETA Oh perhaps I should point out, none of the registrations spell my name or describe me in any way. Two are just none dating plates. The other does describe the model of car so apologies for those souls who are so sad that this offends them! I actually bought the car with it on, but quite like it so am not bothered about changing it.

Edited by JagXJR on Sunday 14th September 20:07


Edited by JagXJR on Sunday 14th September 20:11
Like I said, my opinion, based on observation and experience. I don't say that everyone with a vanity registration is a knob, but I certainly treat a vanity plate as a strong warning of the likelihood of knobish driving.

Oh, and if your vanity requires such a registration, go for it and enjoy. My ego does not require such a pointless display of wealth (look how much I'm worth, I've got my own number plate).



SimianWonder

1,144 posts

153 months

Sunday 14th September 2014
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Blown2CV said:
what do cherished registrations do though...
Mine makes an eleven year old car is really good condition not look eleven years old.

DavidJG

3,548 posts

133 months

Sunday 14th September 2014
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SimianWonder said:
Mine makes an eleven year old car is really good condition not look eleven years old.
Ok, I'll bite!!

I had a conversation a couple of weeks ago with a friend. He's bought at '09' plate car. He says he needs a personal plate to 'hide how old it is'....

Me: "but you've told me how old it is. Guess you've told lots of friends?"

Him: "errr, yes"

Me: "so it bothers you that strangers, who you'll probably never meet, know how old your car is?"

Him: "Well....."

Enough said!

Probably the wrong thread for this, but I really can't see the point in buying a registration plate. It has no intrinsic value, and serves purely to boost the ego of the owner. And, whilst many people who are good, decent drivers have them, based on experience I still treat them as a warning that there's a larger chance of knobish driving from cars that have them on. I know, not all cars with them are driven by knobs, honest.


STURBO

322 posts

161 months

Sunday 14th September 2014
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SimianWonder said:
Blown2CV said:
what do cherished registrations do though...
Mine makes an eleven year old car is really good condition not look eleven years old.
What's wrong with driving an 11 year old car? Why do you care what other people may or may not think. I just don't get that kind of thinking.



leigh1050

2,375 posts

166 months

Sunday 14th September 2014
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JagXJR said:
DavidJG said:
"Chav-Plate" - sometimes called a personalised plate, more frequently known as a "Vanity Plate". Essential equipment for all aspiring chavs. I appreciate that you may think I'm a knob myself for expressing this opinion - sorry, but it is my opinion and I'm sticking with it. Don't care if you think it should appear in the 'Real Good Number Plates' thread, or the 'what crappy plates....' thread, in my opinion (which you are welcome to disagree with), they're all "Chav-plates"

My apologies to anyone I offend by this; it comes from years of observing the fact that the worst driving that I see is usually from people who seem to think that by purchasing their own registration, they're also either purchased the very road on which they drive, or somehow become exempt from the requirement to obey the highway code or show any respect for other road users.
So you're calling me a chav? That makes you a judgemental knob!

All of my cars have private registration plates on them. All 3. That is because they are low mileage, well-maintained, looked-after vehicles that do not show their age, so I put these plates on them so judgemental people like you don't think I am a chav and can't afford to buy a newer car. I can but choose not to. That way I can run 3 vehicles for less than the price of one. That way I can use the right tool for the job, if the sun is shining I take the convertible if it is raining I take the 4 wheel drive saloon. In winter the 4wd Jaguar with winter tyres is usually the car of choice.

In my experience it is normally the drivers of newer vehicles with newer year registration plates that exhibit the behaviour you describe, I paid xx thousands of pounds for my car so I'll do what the hell I like! Either that or those that drive ratty sheds that look like dogs dinners!

So yes, I do very much disagree with your blinkered opinion!
People who call VANITY plates PRIVATE plates!!
ETA Oh perhaps I should point out, none of the registrations spell my name or describe me in any way. Two are just none dating plates. The other does describe the model of car so apologies for those souls who are so sad that this offends them! I actually bought the car with it on, but quite like it so am not bothered about changing it.

Edited by JagXJR on Sunday 14th September 20:07


Edited by JagXJR on Sunday 14th September 20:11

KFC

3,687 posts

131 months

Monday 15th September 2014
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SimianWonder said:
Blown2CV said:
what do cherished registrations do though...
Mine makes an eleven year old car is really good condition not look eleven years old.
I don't think it does though. I couldn't care less about Alfa's so I don't know with this particular model... but anyone with an interest in them will know from looking at the car roughly how old it is anyway, as they'll know when it had a facelift or small things changed etc. Anyone with no interest in cars won't even be able to tell you how old it is whether you change the plate or not.

So who exactly do you think you're hiding the car age from here ?

yellowjack

17,080 posts

167 months

Monday 15th September 2014
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Arrrrrgh!!!!


Mercedes Benz saloons!

Three of the bloody things, and the absolute halfwits driving them...

1. Temp traffic lights (3 way control) at the exit to my estate. I was strolling back from the paper shop, when the driver of a brand new red Merc realised he'd been sat at a green light for some time (he was fiddling with some tricksy toy in the dash display). So he caned it as hard as he could, trying desperately to overcome the electronic stability program. But it obviously wasn't a 'performance' Benz, judging by the lack of a decent 'soundtrack' to the repeated 'squeal' 'squeal' 'squeal' from the tyres as the electronics kicked in repeatedly around his 90 degree right turn out onto the main road...

2. Driving through Taplow, I was on a fairly narrow residential road, with parked cars all down the nearside kerb. Traffic coming from ahead, so I waited at the end for three cars to come through, whereupon the road ahead was clear. So I set off on the other (ie: 'wrong') side of the road. As I approached a turning on my right, a big Merc hoves into view ahead. At this point I had three parked cars left to pass, and about twenty five of the things to reverse past to get out of his way. I fully expected him to ease off, pull slightly into the mouth of the junction, I'd clear the row of cars, and we'd both continue our journeys without coming to a complete halt. But no. This twonk decides to accelerate at me, to block me, which he does. So I give the exasperated shrug and wave him back. He apes the gesture, then points down the road behind me. By now, there's no chance of me reversing, as a BMW has nearly reached me, and taken the only empty slot in the row, and another car is already making it's way towards us. Stalemate. I can't reverse, he won't. So I request him to go back, once again. He does so, this time. Very reluctantly and only as far as to allow me into the mouth of someone's driveway. He pulls alongside, his window is down and he's very animated. I buzz my window down and smile...

Him - "What do you think you are doing? It's my 'way of right'[sic]"
Me - "Way of RIGHT????? What are you on about?"
Him - "You're on the wrong side of the road, you motherf**king son of a b***h!"
Me - "..........?" (Nothing. I can't, as he's driven away already, up onto the footpath to get around the queue of cars that's built up behind me.
My wife - "Interesting...... What a very unpleasant man."

I think he expected me to reverse all the way back to the start of the row. Not a chance pal. Life doesn't work like that, and sometimes common sense dictates that you voluntarily cede your 'priority' to other traffic because that's the right thing to do. What you don't go around doing is messing up everyone's Karma by deliberately aiming your sh**ty OLD piece of rusty crap Mercedes Benz at other vehicles to prove your pathetic point. And don't swear in front of your own kids, or my wife, you deeply unpleasant halfwit. Now f**k off and learn to put three simple words into the correct order to form a common English phrase what's meaning is frequently misconceived. It's "Right of Way" and it has the sum total of f**k all to do with having priority over other vehicles. "Way of right" indeed... rolleyes

3. New mid range Merc on the way from Taplow to Bracknell. Mr 'Everywhere at 40' was having a field day, crossing over the white line at corners, braking for every drain cover, let alone the gentle bends. Straight lining the roundabouts, tailgating vehicles through 30mph limits in villages, yet holding everyone behind him up in the NSL sections between them. So I spotted my opportunity to overtake, just beyond an upcoming roundabout, selected an appropriate gear, and closed up on the exit, so as not to warn him what was about to happen. Good choice, as it turned out, because half way through my pass, he suddenly found the accelerator that'd been missing for the last 5 miles, and tried to both accelerate, and drift to his right, in order to block my pass. My lack of a signal had bought me the time needed to get ahead before his shenanigans could cause me any trouble, and despite a brief effort to close up to me, he soon disappeared in my mirrors, even though I set the speed limiter to 65mph, so I wasn't caning it. Seriously, fatso? Drive fast, or drive slow, I don't particularly care. But don't deliberately obstruct someone who wants to pass you when and where it's safe, because that is quite rude, and just plain dangerous... irked
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