One single thing that makes you think "knob" Vol 2

[Mr GrimNasty]

AdeV said:

Mr GrimNasty said:

No vehicle is dangerously slow, some drivers are dangerously impatient.

Not true. I used to own a Ford lorry which maxed out at 45mph (having taken a week to get there). THAT was one dangerously slow vehicle.

No it wasn't. If you or other drivers can't cope, you/they are the danger.

It really is difficult making people take responsibility these days.

[Sticks.]

Bairn, was this you?

"The other day I was cruising along as usual in my BMW coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars.

First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic DIDN'T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway! (The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn.)

Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane. (Why do underlings use this lane? Surely everyone knows it is for BMW drivers only?)

Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph!

Naturally, I got to within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way.

Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me! He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.

Needless to say, I was eager oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast! Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to take my driver's licence to a Police Station to be sent away to have some points put on! (They're not free points either - they're £20 each and I was only allowed 3.) But the man at the Police Station said that because I drive a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won't even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me! See, now THAT's the sort of respect you get when you buy and drive a BMW."

[Mike 820]

This guy driving around watching tv on his mobile presumably. Seen him a few times and finally managed to get a picture.



Full size: http://i.imgur.com/A9SQrZk.jpg

[ab955i]

The idiot pensioner on his moped that was 'loitering' on the road just down from my house today, making some kind of attempt at a 3 point turn. He wasn't looking around him for traffic and clearly couldn't hear me (either due to his helmet or the fact he was deaf - probably both).

This wouldn't normally phase me but I'd just changed discs and pads and this was my 'test drive'. Within a split second a load of different thoughts raced through my mind. Did I really bleed the system properly? Did I put the retaining clips back correctly? What if I didn't and I really do run this guy down?

Fortunately all was fine and I came to a rather abrupt stop.

[WD39]

GetCarter said:

People who throw litter out of car windows. Last one I saw I went to pick it up to bin it - and it was a bag of nappies full of st.

Tossers.

Literally.

[WD39]

KNOBS NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS...(we live in hope)


I won't use my fog lights unless it is, erm...foggy.

I will try and remember to indicate my intentions to my fellow road users.

As of January 1st, my mobile phone is off limits when driving.

Although I got a personal reg. plate for christmas that, if altered, spells the name of my pet rabbit, I won't be using it.

I will try to ensure that my car is roadworthy before every journey. All light working etc.

Try to remember to use dipped headlights in poor visibility.

The habit of cutting corners when turning right, and crossing the centre white line when on a bend in the road is now history.

I now pledge that I will not tailgate so close that the driver in front can see what I had for breakfast.

From now on I will only park where it is legal to do so. Yellow line, never! double yellow line, twice never!
disabled bay, moi! (I shall also dispose of that hooky blue badge).

If I get done for speeding I shall swop my 51 BMW for a nice little Toyota Aygo.

I promise faithfully that my hands will be on the steering wheel at 10 to 2, (or quarter to three) at all times. My palm steering days are over.

Etc...Etc..

Any More Out There? (dozens I suspect).

Edited by WD39 on Tuesday 23 December 20:20

Edited by WD39 on Tuesday 30th December 19:18

[scarble]

ab955i said:

there was something unexpected in the road and I was only barely and by luck rather than judgment driving at a speed to allow me to stop in the distance I could see to be clear ahead and only then because somehow I managed to put my brakes back together correctly

[yellowjack]

Beanie hatted 'designer stubble' wearing driver of a red mid nineties BMW 3 series coupe on the top deck of the Festival Place car park in Basingstoke this morning.

Now, my tyres squeal on the shiny surface when turning right at the top of each ramp on the way up. It infuriates me, but there's seemingly no solution to it, despite the Continental tyres I've had fitted, and the fact that many cars with (apparently) inferior rubber don't squeal like a stuck pig at every tight turn.

BUT. The top deck has a textured surface application for extra grip, given that it is directly exposed to rain and potentially to ice forming in sub zero temperatures. This 'grippy' surface was applied fairly recently at (presumably) great expense to make the car park better/safer for all users. So what was it that this oik was doing to make me think "knob!"?

Repeatedly slowing to a standstill, before flooring it to induce 'wheelspin' and the associated "cool" noise it makes. All round the car park. Just quit it, dhead. You're impressing absolutely no-one. Everyone in earshot thinks you're a cocksocket, your car is pretty crappy, and you look like an extremely poor Craig David impersonator. The twunt who arrived a few minutes later in the old Lexus wasn't much better. Lots of self adhesive 'carbon fibre' and virtually black front window tints? The very definition of an attention seeking knob head, IMHO.

[AlexRS2782]

The woman who plonked her daughter down on a potty in the middle of a busy aisle in Tesco this morning rather than taking the child to the toilets that were no more than 100 yards away. Dirty slag of the highest order

[MikeT66]

WD39 said:

ORD said:

MikeT66 said:

I've never replied to this thread previously, but...

C**k-knocker No.1 - the 'hipster' in the blue BMW that I followed onto the M60 the other day. There are only TWO lanes at the traffic lights at the Junction onto the M60, so why you had to change your mind three times which one you wanted to be in, without indicating at any point, is beyond me. No doubt the latest App on your iPhone for Wired/Dazed & Confused had your attention. You then hurtled forward once the lights went green (no doubt to show the prowess of your PCP car) - and, without indicating again, straight into a line of cars on the M60, into someone's safe-braking zone, causing a near pile-up behind you. But that's OK, as you are waaay cooler than I am.

C**k-knocker No.2 - the Bentley Continental driver who followed me for 1/5 mile on the way into work this morning, but then thundered past me when I was doing the 40mph speed limit (but that's just not fast enough for you, is it?), only to turn left 100 yards down the road. Seriously, WTF is that about?

Why does No 2 bother you? I don't understand people who get upset at being overtaken. He didn't say anything about your wife or the size of your penis :

I would imagine that mikeT66 was intimating that anyone who overtakes and then immediately has to slow right down (as do you), to turn left, is a knob. (as do I).

Edited by WD39 on Sunday 21st December 21:09

Yes, WD39 - I just don't 'get' the idea of overtaking, only to slam on the brakes (as Bentley driver did) 20 seconds later in order to turn left. Must have gained a whole, oh, 5 seconds of his life to do that. Plus, the overtaking manoeuvre meant he was well over the speed limit in an urban area and in darkness with poor street-lighting. The best thing is to let these morons get on with it - but (s)he was still a moron.

[Pan Pan]

Flibble said:

zedx19 said:

This is Pistonheads, you'll probably get slated for this. Members will say that you should have adjusted your speed earlier so as not to arrive side by side with her. Afterall, she does have right of way, not you so she did nothing wrong. Would have been nice for her to pull out though.

As this is Pistonheads... It's not right of way, it's priority.
It's still a bit rude not to pull over to allow someone an easier (and safer) merge if traffic is light though.

Pan Pan said:

The government should make it an offence to throw anything out of a car, in the same way it is an offence to throw anything out of a plane, on safety grounds as well, as the littering aspect of this highly anti social habit.

It already is an offence to throw anything out of a car. The offence is littering. People do get prosecuted for it, but obviously only when caught doing it. Like many similar offences, the odds of getting caught are quite low.

It would seem then, that almost nobody knows about it, so perhaps the government, should produce some public information videos, that most if not all will see, on TV, (with very large fines for any individuals seen, carrying out this potentially dangerous, anti social behaviour)
Whilst I have a little reluctance in resorting to contacting the authorities for a number of different types of motoring offences, because I think that perhaps doing this, constitutes the first step towards living under a stazi regime, I nevertheless think I would probably report the occupants of a car seen throwing litter out of it, in a shot.

[Liquid Knight]

Just a little thing. The Police will do a grand total of sod all about people throwing littler out of a vehicle. Report it to your local Council with photographs or even dash cam' footage. The disposal of rubbish from a vehicle whilst moving or not on land that is not designated for the purpose of waste disposal is fly tipping and the Council are far more likely to pursue it. Once marked as a vehicle associated with fly tipping the vehicle can and can be stopped and searched by the Council, Environment Agency and Police regularly to make sure the vehicle is not loaded with rubbish.

Last year I went around the local area picking up McRubbish from the road and country side and tipped it all out as I went through a Mcdrive-thru. The Police came round and suggested I had broken the law but I was simply returning their property. They now have a mobile Mclitter patrol that covers more than their carpark.

[loafer123]

Liquid Knight said:

Last year I went around the local area picking up McRubbish from the road and country side and tipped it all out as I went through a Mcdrive-thru. The Police came round and suggested I had broken the law but I was simply returning their property. They now have a mobile Mclitter patrol that covers more than their carpark.

Brilliant! I also collected the rubbish, mostly McDonalds litter, on my previous country road - I wish I had the balls to return it to them...!

[ORD]

loafer123 said:

Brilliant! I also collected the rubbish, mostly McDonalds litter, on my previous country road - I wish I had the balls to return it to them...!

It's not their property. Classic PH.

[carreauchompeur]

Wow. Just wow.

[Liquid Knight]

ORD said:

loafer123 said:

Brilliant! I also collected the rubbish, mostly McDonalds litter, on my previous country road - I wish I had the balls to return it to them...!

It's not their property. Classic PH.

Two points...

1/ Anything with a Mclogo is Mcintellectual property due to the Mcregistered trade mark.

2/ If you buy alleged food or drink and ask for it not to be wrapped you are charged the same price, therefore the Mcpackaging is given away free with the alleged food. As such there is no transaction evidence to prove change of ownership. The Mcpackaging becomes Mclitter unless it is on private property it has no official ownership untill it is collected by the council. So by leaving it on Mcprivate property it become theirs once more.

It was good enough reasoning for the Police so should be okay for Pistonheads.

[ORD]

Liquid Knight said:

Two points...

1/ Anything with a Mclogo is Mcintellectual property due to the Mcregistered trade mark.

2/ If you buy alleged food or drink and ask for it not to be wrapped you are charged the same price, therefore the Mcpackaging is given away free with the alleged food. As such there is no transaction evidence to prove change of ownership. The Mcpackaging becomes Mclitter unless it is on private property it has no official ownership untill it is collected by the council. So by leaving it on Mcprivate property it become theirs once more.

It was good enough reasoning for the Police so should be okay for Pistonheads.

I'm afraid that the police, as usual, have no clue about civil law. Intellectual property has nothing to do with ownership of an item, and the fact that something is free doesn't prevent ownership passing in the transaction.

Nonetheless, McD is a poisonous company that profits from misery, so I don't have any sympathy for them!

More importantly, Merry Christmas to all you knobs and observers of knobs.

[Liquid Knight]

ORD said:

I'm afraid that the police, as usual, have no clue about civil law.

I was relying on that.

Merry Christmas to all knobs and observers of knobs. Ignore those resolutions we'd have nothing to laugh at next year if not.

[Blown2CV]

the owner of the discarded rubbish is only partly relevant. The organisation is responsible for producing the rubbish, if not discarding it. So, it's their moral if not legal responsibility to assist with the clear-up.

[ORD]

Blown2CV said:

the owner of the discarded rubbish is only partly relevant. The organisation is responsible for producing the rubbish, if not discarding it. So, it's their moral if not legal responsibility to assist with the clear-up.

Merry Christmas!

I can't see that at all. If I sell furniture, am I responsible for dealing with the old settees and chairs that people dump by the side of the road? If I sell clothes, am I responsible for clearing up the plastic bags that people carry them in and then discard? If I sell apples, should I be clearing up the apple cores by the side of the road?

It's just a convenient way of passing the buck to someone (a company) more likely to respond sensibly than the cretins that make the mess. Purely practical; no moral element.