Audi S4 Avant: PH Fleet

Wanted: hard-wearing and fast estate car for filming duties; previous ragging not a problem

The deal I did with myself many years ago was that I could justify writing about shiny new manufacturer-supplied cars so long as I bought my own cars with my own money and also wrote about those. According to those rules, last week I finalised my everyday car plans for 2013. It involves two cars, because I now cover too many miles to reasonably expect a press fleet manager to foot an unrealistic depreciation bill. And I rather like owning something too.

Read our Audi S4 Avant Review

New-to-Chris S4 has... 'patina'.

So, the faithful Passat which trundled around with videographer Neil Carey for all of 2012 is about to be found a new home and is being replaced by a B8 Audi S4.

Recently crocked climate control aside the Passat had but one serious deficiency – it was too slow to keep up with a jogging teenager, let alone a GT2 RS and a Ducati Panigale. It’s actually one of the most important shooting tools. So this year we have two. This piece is about the one I’ve purchased: the S4. You’ll learn about the other (it’s awesome) next week.

Audi apologist
I am an S4 bore for the simple reason that its apparent invisibility to people who should recognise its talents irks me. Beyond being subtle, ideally sized, comfortable and fast it has one overriding advantage: it doesn’t drive like an Audi. It doesn’t crash into bumps and generally make you want to swear. People regularly accuse me of a blanket hatred of Audi products. It isn’t true – Audi can make good drivers’ cars, but it is woefully inconsistent with its faster models.

It's a former press car, so plenty of options

Three years ago a family member wanted a small, fast estate, and I advised them to have one of these. Three years later, it’s been pretty well (ab)used and I just couldn’t face giving it to a trader who’d bid very little for it. This is because two wet dogs have lived in it, and it its coachwork displays a rich patina of age and minor incidents. And there’s no better way of silencing the ‘you just hate Audi’ brigade than buying one, no?

Driving Audi UK’s gorgeous 2001 B5 RS4 last year nearly persuaded me to buy one, but they’re still quite expensive cars and a quick Google session revealed that these B8 S4s are now responding very well to software changes. With this car out of warranty I quite fancied some intelligently-wrought power gains because I haven’t done anything like it for over a decade.

Bit mucky under here, but mostly sound

Never raced or … oh
The car owes me £15,000, which is probably a bit generous as a trade bid because it does need a fair amount of cosmetic work. But the way it’ll be having tripods and sucker-cups sprouting from it, that doesn’t really matter to me. It has done 58,000 miles and has a full Audi service history. Take a look in the classifieds and you’ll see that early 2009 cars are looking like very good value for a 333hp four-wheel-drive estate car.

I have known this particular car for a while. When it was a press car I used it to shoot this video which, if nothing else, shows I’m not afraid to own cars I once abused in the name of entertainment. As you can imagine, when the family member in question was shown this video a few days after taking delivery, brows were furrowed. It was an approved used Audi showing 8,000 miles and it hasn’t missed a beat for the following 50,000 miles.

Dog, and lots of it, is a hallmark

So what’s the plan?

Extract some more performance from it, make it stop a little more effectively and make sure that it remains entirely stealthy. Accordingly, I cannot tell you how irritating it is to see that the little S4 logo in the front grille is actually recessed into the plastic spars and therefore non-removable.

The car itself is a peach, albeit the slightly bruised and split peach you’d probably initially avoid. The interior has the odd squeak and the adjustable dampers are past their best, but it’s fast and a very good size for UK roads. It averages around 26mpg going pretty quick and the DSG is very smooth when under hard load, but a little lumpy rolling slowly from second to first.

More performance is first on the list...

Ask the experts
Last week I dropped the car up to Revo Technik in Daventry. They are expert Audi/VW software types and have seen some pretty stunning results from this 3.0-litre supercharged TFSI motor. They also helped my mate Dickie Meaden do some god-awful speed in a Skoda Octavia at Bonneville, so they have to be a bit handy at this stuff. It took them a while to crack the B8 S4’s ECU, but their boffins have seen up to 75hp from software changes alone, leaving you with an utterly discreet 400hp, 4WD compact estate car for the same money as a used Golf GTI. I think it’s a compelling prospect given the car is now out of warranty.

The Revo chaps have given the car the once-over and, despite being horrified by the affects of three years’ wet Retriever on a once beautiful interior, they’ve said it’s pretty healthy. There's a slight oil leak around the gearbox which should be fixable. The motor is fine and loose, the suspension is okay, but could probably do with a re-bush and some fresh dampers. We might play with the suspension, but only if we can make the ride even more supple than the current Comfort setting because the ride has to be supple to keep tripod-mounted shots smooth. This car has the trick adjustable suspension and rear sport differential which could make the refresh expensive. I could just bolt a set of Bilsteins on, and might well do that later in the process.

...and upgraded stoppers are next

Being an ex press car it appears to have every possible extra: radar cruise-control, B&O hi-fi, fancy leather for the seats, blind-spot warning thingies, and an electric tailgate (broken). And the braking system of a Morris Oxford. For this reason, we’re fitting some Stasis 370mm discs and six-piston calipers to the front end. Stasis and Revo are owned by the same company. There are larger 390mm discs available, but they don’t fit behind the standard 19-inch wheels and this will not be a track car.

In standard form the S4 is pretty agile, but I’ve found the rear a little too keen to roll, so we’re going to try a slightly larger diameter rear bar to see if that makes a difference.

I’m collecting it next week, and then we’ll have some fun with it. It will look less speedy than a 2.0 TDI S Line, should give a Carrera a decent fright and will average mid 20s between shoot locations. Sounds like a decent camera car to me.

FACT SHEET
Car: Audi S4 Avant
Run by: Chris Harris
Bought: March 2013
Mileage: 58,000
Purchase price: £15,000
Last month at a glance: Family horse trading results in a new addition to the Harris stable

OP Posts Only

Prev 2 3...8 9 Next

OP Posts Only

Author

Discussion

P4ROT

Original Poster

1,219 posts

193 months