Help! Partner drives too close to car in front
Discussion
Argh. What to do, what to say. One trip I advised 5 times that she should drop back or go past. I'm accused of nagging, yet in our 20 years of marriage she has hit 4 cars up the back. Last one wrote her scooter off, others were in cars. Annoyingly her insurance is always lower than mine, but puts mine up when I add in her accident record!!! Practical suggestions appreciated.
My mate does this and also speeds round bends into thin busy roads where he ends up having to reverse half way back up the street. I tried the gentle suggestion to maybe anticipate more but he couldn't see that he was doing anything wrong.
Out of interest what car do you drive? It sounds daft but my boss drove a knackered old Citroen C4 and he would be right up everybody's backside constantly. He just had it replaced with a BMW 1 Series Coupe and now he drives miles away from the person infront, goes much slower on roads were he could go quicker and just generally takes a lot more care of it even though it's a company car (we only replace them every 5 years or so though).
Perhaps the answer could be finding a new car together? Involve her in the process, find something she loves and then she may take a bit more care of it and not feel the need to drive so close to people?
Out of interest what car do you drive? It sounds daft but my boss drove a knackered old Citroen C4 and he would be right up everybody's backside constantly. He just had it replaced with a BMW 1 Series Coupe and now he drives miles away from the person infront, goes much slower on roads were he could go quicker and just generally takes a lot more care of it even though it's a company car (we only replace them every 5 years or so though).
Perhaps the answer could be finding a new car together? Involve her in the process, find something she loves and then she may take a bit more care of it and not feel the need to drive so close to people?
I sympathise.
Had an ex who would do this. I asked her on one occasion why she was driving so close to the car in front. She replied that she wanted it to "fasten up". I replied by asking her, as we were in traffic as always, how she intended to get the car in front of that to fasten up, and the car in front of that, and the car in front of that? She looked at me blankly and couldn't reply.
The irony was that she had a twin sister whom she would always berate for driving too close to the car in front when my ex was the passenger.
~
You can try all the usual common-sense arguments; you can't change the speed of traffic, so relax, drop back to a reasonable distance, you'll be braking and accelerating much less, driving will be much less stressful and more relaxing, both for the driver, the passenger, and for the driver of the car in front, you'll have plenty of time to react to the unexpected, it's much safer etc etc etc
However, if your Mrs has hit the car in front on no less than four occasions, I suspect there is little you can say or do. She would seem to be beyond redemption.
Or try the shock treatment? Go apoplectic and rant ONLY A FOOL BREAKS THE TWO SECOND RULE ONLY A FOOL BREAKS THE TWO SECOND RULE ONLY A FOOL BREAKS THE TWO SECOND RULE three inches from her ear each time she moves too close.
Had an ex who would do this. I asked her on one occasion why she was driving so close to the car in front. She replied that she wanted it to "fasten up". I replied by asking her, as we were in traffic as always, how she intended to get the car in front of that to fasten up, and the car in front of that, and the car in front of that? She looked at me blankly and couldn't reply.
The irony was that she had a twin sister whom she would always berate for driving too close to the car in front when my ex was the passenger.
~
You can try all the usual common-sense arguments; you can't change the speed of traffic, so relax, drop back to a reasonable distance, you'll be braking and accelerating much less, driving will be much less stressful and more relaxing, both for the driver, the passenger, and for the driver of the car in front, you'll have plenty of time to react to the unexpected, it's much safer etc etc etc
However, if your Mrs has hit the car in front on no less than four occasions, I suspect there is little you can say or do. She would seem to be beyond redemption.
Or try the shock treatment? Go apoplectic and rant ONLY A FOOL BREAKS THE TWO SECOND RULE ONLY A FOOL BREAKS THE TWO SECOND RULE ONLY A FOOL BREAKS THE TWO SECOND RULE three inches from her ear each time she moves too close.
Edited by Timbola on Tuesday 17th December 09:49
HertsBiker said:
Argh. What to do, what to say. One trip I advised 5 times that she should drop back or go past. I'm accused of nagging, yet in our 20 years of marriage she has hit 4 cars up the back. Last one wrote her scooter off, others were in cars. Annoyingly her insurance is always lower than mine, but puts mine up when I add in her accident record!!! Practical suggestions appreciated.
You can't tell her. Because you know her. And women will only take advise from strangers. You are clearly doing it to annoy her out of spite because of something else. But a stranger can be trusted to be honest.Why not get you both a nice day out with http://www.ridedrive.co.uk/
Then someone else can tell her she's a
and you can be the nice guy supplying wine afterwards.HertsBiker said:
Annoyingly her insurance is always lower than mine, but puts mine up when I add in her accident record!!! Practical suggestions appreciated.
Don't ever travel with her unless you're driving, don't put her on your insurance. Although they may not be practical suggestions, sorry.may be a daft suggestion, but why don't you drive.
What she does when she's out on her own is up to her, but if you feel her driving is so poor, just refuse to be a passenger in the car with her. Insist that you drive, explaining that it's because you think she's a crap driver. She may not get the message but it'll save you some worry?
What she does when she's out on her own is up to her, but if you feel her driving is so poor, just refuse to be a passenger in the car with her. Insist that you drive, explaining that it's because you think she's a crap driver. She may not get the message but it'll save you some worry?
An old mate of mine was shocking for this and never listened.
So I waited till he tailgate me and hit my brakes. He was ok after that.
If you mrs hasn't learnt after a few crashes I'm afraid it's probably too late.
Just try not to be in the car if she's following a truck or scaffolding lorry.
So I waited till he tailgate me and hit my brakes. He was ok after that.
If you mrs hasn't learnt after a few crashes I'm afraid it's probably too late.
Just try not to be in the car if she's following a truck or scaffolding lorry.
My ex used to do it, particularly in slower moving traffic...did my head in.
Hold the button in and ease the handbrake up, if she's anything like my ex she'll automatically assume that touching the handbrake in a moving vehicle will result in catastrophe and slow down enough to restore the gap...she may cop a strop for a while though
Hold the button in and ease the handbrake up, if she's anything like my ex she'll automatically assume that touching the handbrake in a moving vehicle will result in catastrophe and slow down enough to restore the gap...she may cop a strop for a while though
Munter said:
You can't tell her. Because you know her. And women will only take advise from strangers. You are clearly doing it to annoy her out of spite because of something else. But a stranger can be trusted to be honest.
Why not get you both a nice day out with http://www.ridedrive.co.uk/
Then someone else can tell her she's a and you can be the nice guy supplying wine afterwards.
This is good advice if you want her to get better. Alternatively, you do all the driving.Why not get you both a nice day out with http://www.ridedrive.co.uk/
Then someone else can tell her she's a
and you can be the nice guy supplying wine afterwards.Which is what I do as I'm chicken!
Liquid Tuna said:
My missus drives to close to the gutter (in my opinion of course) and ends up picking up all the crap, hitting pot holes, and getting punctures. I tell her every time but after almost 20 years of driving she isn't going to change.
My mother does this! Car gets filthy and she's had to replace a broken spring on the near side rear. Mental. I had a girlfriend who left a crap stopping distance, she had only been driving 2 years and had already rear ended someone and killed her golf.
We were driving down some country lanes one day and were sign post spotting because I had no idea where we were going, turned out that I could read the signs well over half a mile before she could. The stupid bint was blind as a bat and thought that her vision was normal, pair of glasses sorted her driving right out.
And she looked the nuts dressed up as a naughty secretary with them on
We were driving down some country lanes one day and were sign post spotting because I had no idea where we were going, turned out that I could read the signs well over half a mile before she could. The stupid bint was blind as a bat and thought that her vision was normal, pair of glasses sorted her driving right out.
And she looked the nuts dressed up as a naughty secretary with them on
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