Help! Partner drives too close to car in front
Discussion
varsas said:
Like others I'm very surprised 4 accidents hasn't changed her attitude though. If my theory is correct there must be something very deep seated going on, something that drives her to do it that's stronger then what she believes the risk is.
You'd be amazed. The reason they ask you on your insurance if you've had an accident in the last 5 years is because people have are statistically more likely to have another one. People in general don't learn from their mistakes. As you say it's usually an attitude issue, and changing people attitude about how good a driver they think they are is very difficult.The tailgating people to try and pressure them in to going faster always amazes me, as if you ask anyone who does it what they do if someone does it to them and they'll invariably call the other driver an idiot and slow down to piss them off.
Younger women appear to be the worst offenders for following unrealistically close.
It's not only women though; I had a 45ish year old male in an Octavia VRS estate follow me for several miles through varying speed limits of 30 to 60 mph.
At 30mph he was half a car length behind me.
At 40 he was around one car length behind me.
At 50 he was around one car length behind me.
At 60 he was around one car length behind me.
He just had to follow at the same distance all the time.
When we stopped for traffic lights, I moved for about 2" after I'd been stopped and so did he. I sat there and then moved forward 2" again, so did he.
The lights were still red.
Why did he HAVE to close the gap?
The gap he left whilst waiting at the lights was far too little as well (about 10-12").
Good game to play though on those who pull up behind too close in traffic; inch forward to see if they do too. See how many times you can do it and how small a movement you can get them to emulate
Obviously, leave yourself a bit extra space in front of you to allow you to play
So who knows what the space should be when stopped?
It's not only women though; I had a 45ish year old male in an Octavia VRS estate follow me for several miles through varying speed limits of 30 to 60 mph.
At 30mph he was half a car length behind me.
At 40 he was around one car length behind me.
At 50 he was around one car length behind me.
At 60 he was around one car length behind me.
He just had to follow at the same distance all the time.
When we stopped for traffic lights, I moved for about 2" after I'd been stopped and so did he. I sat there and then moved forward 2" again, so did he.
The lights were still red.
Why did he HAVE to close the gap?
The gap he left whilst waiting at the lights was far too little as well (about 10-12").
Good game to play though on those who pull up behind too close in traffic; inch forward to see if they do too. See how many times you can do it and how small a movement you can get them to emulate
Obviously, leave yourself a bit extra space in front of you to allow you to play
So who knows what the space should be when stopped?
UrbanLegend said:
Younger women appear to be the worst offenders for following unrealistically close.
It's not only women though; I had a 45ish year old male in an Octavia VRS estate follow me for several miles through varying speed limits of 30 to 60 mph.
At 30mph he was half a car length behind me.
At 40 he was around one car length behind me.
At 50 he was around one car length behind me.
At 60 he was around one car length behind me.
He just had to follow at the same distance all the time.
When we stopped for traffic lights, I moved for about 2" after I'd been stopped and so did he. I sat there and then moved forward 2" again, so did he.
The lights were still red.
Why did he HAVE to close the gap?
The gap he left whilst waiting at the lights was far too little as well (about 10-12").
Good game to play though on those who pull up behind too close in traffic; inch forward to see if they do too. See how many times you can do it and how small a movement you can get them to emulate
Obviously, leave yourself a bit extra space in front of you to allow you to play
So who knows what the space should be when stopped?
You should be able to see tyres on tarmac of the car infront of you It's not only women though; I had a 45ish year old male in an Octavia VRS estate follow me for several miles through varying speed limits of 30 to 60 mph.
At 30mph he was half a car length behind me.
At 40 he was around one car length behind me.
At 50 he was around one car length behind me.
At 60 he was around one car length behind me.
He just had to follow at the same distance all the time.
When we stopped for traffic lights, I moved for about 2" after I'd been stopped and so did he. I sat there and then moved forward 2" again, so did he.
The lights were still red.
Why did he HAVE to close the gap?
The gap he left whilst waiting at the lights was far too little as well (about 10-12").
Good game to play though on those who pull up behind too close in traffic; inch forward to see if they do too. See how many times you can do it and how small a movement you can get them to emulate
Obviously, leave yourself a bit extra space in front of you to allow you to play
So who knows what the space should be when stopped?
Obviously depends entirely on the cars seating position though or I'd be stopping a mile away in my mx-5. I only inch forward at a junction if the queues getting long to save some space, I know it's not saving that much but if everybody left a meter gap then the queue would probably end up being twice the size!
UrbanLegend said:
Younger women appear to be the worst offenders for following unrealistically close.
It's not only women though; I had a 45ish year old male in an Octavia VRS estate follow me for several miles through varying speed limits of 30 to 60 mph.
At 30mph he was half a car length behind me.
At 40 he was around one car length behind me.
At 50 he was around one car length behind me.
At 60 he was around one car length behind me.
He just had to follow at the same distance all the time.
When we stopped for traffic lights, I moved for about 2" after I'd been stopped and so did he. I sat there and then moved forward 2" again, so did he.
The lights were still red.
Why did he HAVE to close the gap?
The gap he left whilst waiting at the lights was far too little as well (about 10-12").
Good game to play though on those who pull up behind too close in traffic; inch forward to see if they do too. See how many times you can do it and how small a movement you can get them to emulate
Obviously, leave yourself a bit extra space in front of you to allow you to play
So who knows what the space should be when stopped?
I know of two girls, who both had the same driving instructor, and are both adamant that the correct gap to leave is enough to see the car in fronts rear tyres. It's not only women though; I had a 45ish year old male in an Octavia VRS estate follow me for several miles through varying speed limits of 30 to 60 mph.
At 30mph he was half a car length behind me.
At 40 he was around one car length behind me.
At 50 he was around one car length behind me.
At 60 he was around one car length behind me.
He just had to follow at the same distance all the time.
When we stopped for traffic lights, I moved for about 2" after I'd been stopped and so did he. I sat there and then moved forward 2" again, so did he.
The lights were still red.
Why did he HAVE to close the gap?
The gap he left whilst waiting at the lights was far too little as well (about 10-12").
Good game to play though on those who pull up behind too close in traffic; inch forward to see if they do too. See how many times you can do it and how small a movement you can get them to emulate
Obviously, leave yourself a bit extra space in front of you to allow you to play
So who knows what the space should be when stopped?
When I suggested this was only for when sitting in a queue of traffic, both were most insistent that the instructor explicitly meant when travelling behind a car at any speed. When I asked about the 2 second gap, both were indignant saying that if that was true their instructor would have told them.
No f
king wonder driving standards are crap... Thing that made the biggest difference to my girlfriend's driving was MPG. She likes driving anyway, which doubtless helped, but when she saw how leaving space and trying to predict what other idiots might do made a 5mpg to 10mpg difference to her average fuel consumption (and thus monthly cost), suddenly she became a driving goddess!
Naturally at times she's still too close (mainly in 30 zones, frustratingly) but these are the exception rather than the rule, and generally are because of those silly female 'emotion' things getting in the way
Just to chime in with an earlier comment, she is also fairly convinced that touching the handbrake in a moving car would equal instant death.
Naturally at times she's still too close (mainly in 30 zones, frustratingly) but these are the exception rather than the rule, and generally are because of those silly female 'emotion' things getting in the way
Just to chime in with an earlier comment, she is also fairly convinced that touching the handbrake in a moving car would equal instant death.
UrbanLegend said:
So who knows what the space should be when stopped?
Personally I like to leave enough space to ensure I can pull around the vehicle in front if I need to. I've seen people stop in traffic too close, the vehicle in front brake down, the car behind unable to get out as they need to reverse to get enough space and all the cars behind are overtaking The Surveyor said:
may be a daft suggestion, but why don't you drive.
What she does when she's out on her own is up to her, but if you feel her driving is so poor, just refuse to be a passenger in the car with her. Insist that you drive, explaining that it's because you think she's a crap driver. She may not get the message but it'll save you some worry?
This. My wife only ever drives when I've had a drink and I just close my eyes What she does when she's out on her own is up to her, but if you feel her driving is so poor, just refuse to be a passenger in the car with her. Insist that you drive, explaining that it's because you think she's a crap driver. She may not get the message but it'll save you some worry?
My missus ALWAYS drives too close to the person in front. But you just try telling her that.
One day after returning from a works lunch (No drinking involved) we ended up having two cars to take back home. She drove straight in to me when i stopped at a roundabout.
I then had to spend the evening fixing her car so she could get about the next day... was all still my fault though and got no thanks for fixing the car.
Returning from a works trip a year ago i was too tired to drive, but soon woke up after my passenger side break peddle didn't work. Asked her to drop back from the car in front twice, on the third time. on a motorway slip road she just hooked up an emergency stop and started screaming at me. Almost causing a pileup behind us.
If i were doing something like this, i would want to be told to make my self a better driver. But for some reason women take a massive ego trip and receive driving advice like you just insulted there mothers.
I ALWAYS drive now, it just saves so much stress.
One day after returning from a works lunch (No drinking involved) we ended up having two cars to take back home. She drove straight in to me when i stopped at a roundabout.
I then had to spend the evening fixing her car so she could get about the next day... was all still my fault though and got no thanks for fixing the car.
Returning from a works trip a year ago i was too tired to drive, but soon woke up after my passenger side break peddle didn't work. Asked her to drop back from the car in front twice, on the third time. on a motorway slip road she just hooked up an emergency stop and started screaming at me. Almost causing a pileup behind us.
If i were doing something like this, i would want to be told to make my self a better driver. But for some reason women take a massive ego trip and receive driving advice like you just insulted there mothers.
I ALWAYS drive now, it just saves so much stress.
Stuartggray said:
UrbanLegend said:
Younger women appear to be the worst offenders for following unrealistically close.
It's not only women though; I had a 45ish year old male in an Octavia VRS estate follow me for several miles through varying speed limits of 30 to 60 mph.
At 30mph he was half a car length behind me.
At 40 he was around one car length behind me.
At 50 he was around one car length behind me.
At 60 he was around one car length behind me.
He just had to follow at the same distance all the time.
When we stopped for traffic lights, I moved for about 2" after I'd been stopped and so did he. I sat there and then moved forward 2" again, so did he.
The lights were still red.
Why did he HAVE to close the gap?
The gap he left whilst waiting at the lights was far too little as well (about 10-12").
Good game to play though on those who pull up behind too close in traffic; inch forward to see if they do too. See how many times you can do it and how small a movement you can get them to emulate
Obviously, leave yourself a bit extra space in front of you to allow you to play
So who knows what the space should be when stopped?
I know of two girls, who both had the same driving instructor, and are both adamant that the correct gap to leave is enough to see the car in fronts rear tyres. It's not only women though; I had a 45ish year old male in an Octavia VRS estate follow me for several miles through varying speed limits of 30 to 60 mph.
At 30mph he was half a car length behind me.
At 40 he was around one car length behind me.
At 50 he was around one car length behind me.
At 60 he was around one car length behind me.
He just had to follow at the same distance all the time.
When we stopped for traffic lights, I moved for about 2" after I'd been stopped and so did he. I sat there and then moved forward 2" again, so did he.
The lights were still red.
Why did he HAVE to close the gap?
The gap he left whilst waiting at the lights was far too little as well (about 10-12").
Good game to play though on those who pull up behind too close in traffic; inch forward to see if they do too. See how many times you can do it and how small a movement you can get them to emulate
Obviously, leave yourself a bit extra space in front of you to allow you to play
So who knows what the space should be when stopped?
When I suggested this was only for when sitting in a queue of traffic, both were most insistent that the instructor explicitly meant when travelling behind a car at any speed. When I asked about the 2 second gap, both were indignant saying that if that was true their instructor would have told them.
No f
king wonder driving standards are crap... Trust me, if it was true the instructor would be getting failures for his pupils and wouldn't be instructing for that long.
The DSA check test and rank all instructors quite frequently and they can check test anyone at any time and as frequently as they like if they have concerns.
I'm sure many people find it less embarrassing to blame their instructor when people find fault with their driving after they have picked up their own bad habits.
Edited by UrbanLegend on Tuesday 17th December 17:03
RizzoTheRat said:
UrbanLegend said:
So who knows what the space should be when stopped?
Personally I like to leave enough space to ensure I can pull around the vehicle in front if I need to. I've seen people stop in traffic too close, the vehicle in front brake down, the car behind unable to get out as they need to reverse to get enough space and all the cars behind are overtaking That's why the general rule is "tyres & tarmac" as it leaves enough space to see ahead and move around the car in front if you need to.
If anyone on a driving test repeatedly stopped as close as many drivers do to the car in front they would fail after enough accumulated minor faults.
If a driver followed too close as to be dangerous it'd be a flat fail (serious fault).
Timbola said:
You can try all the usual common-sense arguments
...but they wont work. IME women HATE having their driving criticised by anyone they know, even if it's done in a constructive manner and even if they are blatantly piss poor. Cowering in your seat in terror and stamping the non-existant brake pedal really pisses them off.UrbanLegend said:
I hear this kind of thing all the time.
Trust me, if it was true the instructor would be getting failures for his pupils and wouldn't be instructing for that long.
The DSA check test and rank all instructors quite frequently and they can check test anyone at any time and as frequently as they like if they have concerns.
I know someone who teaches driving instructors and says she's amazed at the poor standard of some who get through, so there must be some piss poor ones out there, just as there are in any job. I saw a BSM car making a complete hash of parallel parking a while back with one wheel up on the curb, and there was only one person it, presumably an instructor. However I also accept that all of us have done something crap behind the wheel at one time or other so he might have just been having a bad day.Trust me, if it was true the instructor would be getting failures for his pupils and wouldn't be instructing for that long.
The DSA check test and rank all instructors quite frequently and they can check test anyone at any time and as frequently as they like if they have concerns.
UrbanLegend said:
Younger women appear to be the worst offenders for following unrealistically close.
It's not only women though; I had a 45ish year old male in an Octavia VRS estate follow me for several miles through varying speed limits of 30 to 60 mph.
At 30mph he was half a car length behind me.
At 40 he was around one car length behind me.
At 50 he was around one car length behind me.
At 60 he was around one car length behind me.
He just had to follow at the same distance all the time.
When we stopped for traffic lights, I moved for about 2" after I'd been stopped and so did he. I sat there and then moved forward 2" again, so did he.
The lights were still red.
Why did he HAVE to close the gap?
The gap he left whilst waiting at the lights was far too little as well (about 10-12").
Good game to play though on those who pull up behind too close in traffic; inch forward to see if they do too. See how many times you can do it and how small a movement you can get them to emulate
Obviously, leave yourself a bit extra space in front of you to allow you to play
So who knows what the space should be when stopped?
I think half way down your list I would have pulled over and let them pass.It's not only women though; I had a 45ish year old male in an Octavia VRS estate follow me for several miles through varying speed limits of 30 to 60 mph.
At 30mph he was half a car length behind me.
At 40 he was around one car length behind me.
At 50 he was around one car length behind me.
At 60 he was around one car length behind me.
He just had to follow at the same distance all the time.
When we stopped for traffic lights, I moved for about 2" after I'd been stopped and so did he. I sat there and then moved forward 2" again, so did he.
The lights were still red.
Why did he HAVE to close the gap?
The gap he left whilst waiting at the lights was far too little as well (about 10-12").
Good game to play though on those who pull up behind too close in traffic; inch forward to see if they do too. See how many times you can do it and how small a movement you can get them to emulate
Obviously, leave yourself a bit extra space in front of you to allow you to play
So who knows what the space should be when stopped?
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