Help! Partner drives too close to car in front
Discussion
My daughters are guilty of this. I remind them every time I am a passenger. Bar waiting for them to shunt someone and learn the hard way I am trying to find a way of getting the message across. I think I have an opportunity as they both feel the pain of fuel costs and I am explaining the merits of not having to brake unnecessarily. I think they are beginning to realise that changing their driving style will help them save money and not crash into people as well.
Devil2575 said:
I asked her to leave a bigger gap because her driving was making me feel uncomfortable. It worked far better than nagging/lecturing etc.
This.My OH cannot for the life of her judge how fast cars are approaching from behind on a motorway and takes bloody ages to pull out, by which time we have dropped to about 50mph and eventually we pull out in 6th - making lane 2 brake/change lanes - and I find myself apologising to other road users. Drives me mad.
Plus she drives too close, and finds every pothole possible and struggles to park.
Other than that she's fine !
Of course I cannot say a word to her, I wrote my car off going into the back of someone a few years ago.
I learnt a valuable lesson on reaction times and stopping distances that day, and leave a much bigger gap these days.
HertsBiker said:
Argh. What to do, what to say. One trip I advised 5 times that she should drop back or go past. I'm accused of nagging, yet in our 20 years of marriage she has hit 4 cars up the back. Last one wrote her scooter off, others were in cars. Annoyingly her insurance is always lower than mine, but puts mine up when I add in her accident record!!! Practical suggestions appreciated.
Start 'hitting her up the back' and see if she sees any parallel?Being serious, good luck but I don't think you've got any chance of changing her driving if she doesn't perceive it as an issue
Why do you want her to leave a bigger gap?
Are you concerned about both your safety, her safety and your insurance? If so ask her to leave more of a gap and explain why.
Eg please would it be possible to leave more of a gap as its making me uncomfortable.
Don't say "leave more of a gap, you're too close" as this will get her back up.
If she doesn't listen then either accept it, report her to police or drive the car yourself.
Not much else to say!
Are you concerned about both your safety, her safety and your insurance? If so ask her to leave more of a gap and explain why.
Eg please would it be possible to leave more of a gap as its making me uncomfortable.
Don't say "leave more of a gap, you're too close" as this will get her back up.
If she doesn't listen then either accept it, report her to police or drive the car yourself.
Not much else to say!
jonah35 said:
Why do you want her to leave a bigger gap?
Are you joking jonah35 said:
Are you concerned about both your safety, her safety and your insurance? If so ask her to leave more of a gap and explain why.
Eg please would it be possible to leave more of a gap as its making me uncomfortable.
Don't say "leave more of a gap, you're too close" as this will get her back up.
If she doesn't listen then either accept it, report her to police or drive the car yourself.
Not much else to say!
Just show her the Highway Code and explain the reason for distances.Eg please would it be possible to leave more of a gap as its making me uncomfortable.
Don't say "leave more of a gap, you're too close" as this will get her back up.
If she doesn't listen then either accept it, report her to police or drive the car yourself.
Not much else to say!
Edited by Vipers on Tuesday 17th December 21:21
t drives like that" or the tac-nuke option: "only a How about...
Casually dropping into the conversation the "fact" that the closer you drive to the car in front, the more exhaust fumes are sucked into the ventilation system. Car exhaust fumes are of course highly highly highly carcinogenic, and more importantly have been scientifically proved to cause premature skin ageing and wrinkles. It's one of the seven signs of ageing you know...*
Casually dropping into the conversation the "fact" that the closer you drive to the car in front, the more exhaust fumes are sucked into the ventilation system. Car exhaust fumes are of course highly highly highly carcinogenic, and more importantly have been scientifically proved to cause premature skin ageing and wrinkles. It's one of the seven signs of ageing you know...*
- Some dubious science here, but whatever gets the message across
HertsBiker said:
Practical suggestions appreciated.
1. Fit a roll cage, sit in the back seats with a racing harness and crash helmet. 2. Play racing games on a virtual reality head-up display system.
3. Add a flashing indicator bulb to the dash that says "Death imminent, back off" and then control it yourself.
Only way to be sure. You might get a reward too. rotarymazda said:
3. Add a flashing indicator bulb to the dash that says "Death imminent, back off" and then control it yourself.
A hire car my boss was driving in the US had a "You're too close the the car in front you tosser" light that came up on the dash. Once we realised what it was the game was to see how close you could get without the light coming on.... I'm not sure that this was the intention of the light.UrbanLegend said:
It's not only women though; I had a 45ish year old male in an Octavia VRS estate follow me for several miles through varying speed limits of 30 to 60 mph.
At 30mph he was half a car length behind me.
At 40 he was around one car length behind me.
At 50 he was around one car length behind me.
At 60 he was around one car length behind me.
He just had to follow at the same distance all the time.
When we stopped for traffic lights, I moved for about 2" after I'd been stopped and so did he. I sat there and then moved forward 2" again, so did he.
The lights were still red.
Why did he HAVE to close the gap?
The gap he left whilst waiting at the lights was far too little as well (about 10-12").
Good game to play though on those who pull up behind too close in traffic; inch forward to see if they do too. See how many times you can do it and how small a movement you can get them to emulate
Obviously, leave yourself a bit extra space in front of you to allow you to play
So who knows what the space should be when stopped?
Could be adaptive cruise control? At 30mph he was half a car length behind me.
At 40 he was around one car length behind me.
At 50 he was around one car length behind me.
At 60 he was around one car length behind me.
He just had to follow at the same distance all the time.
When we stopped for traffic lights, I moved for about 2" after I'd been stopped and so did he. I sat there and then moved forward 2" again, so did he.
The lights were still red.
Why did he HAVE to close the gap?
The gap he left whilst waiting at the lights was far too little as well (about 10-12").
Good game to play though on those who pull up behind too close in traffic; inch forward to see if they do too. See how many times you can do it and how small a movement you can get them to emulate
Obviously, leave yourself a bit extra space in front of you to allow you to play
So who knows what the space should be when stopped?
okie592 said:
UrbanLegend said:
It's not only women though; I had a 45ish year old male in an Octavia VRS estate follow me for several miles through varying speed limits of 30 to 60 mph.
At 30mph he was half a car length behind me.
At 40 he was around one car length behind me.
At 50 he was around one car length behind me.
At 60 he was around one car length behind me.
He just had to follow at the same distance all the time.
When we stopped for traffic lights, I moved for about 2" after I'd been stopped and so did he. I sat there and then moved forward 2" again, so did he.
The lights were still red.
Why did he HAVE to close the gap?
The gap he left whilst waiting at the lights was far too little as well (about 10-12").
Good game to play though on those who pull up behind too close in traffic; inch forward to see if they do too. See how many times you can do it and how small a movement you can get them to emulate
Obviously, leave yourself a bit extra space in front of you to allow you to play
So who knows what the space should be when stopped?
Could be adaptive cruise control? At 30mph he was half a car length behind me.
At 40 he was around one car length behind me.
At 50 he was around one car length behind me.
At 60 he was around one car length behind me.
He just had to follow at the same distance all the time.
When we stopped for traffic lights, I moved for about 2" after I'd been stopped and so did he. I sat there and then moved forward 2" again, so did he.
The lights were still red.
Why did he HAVE to close the gap?
The gap he left whilst waiting at the lights was far too little as well (about 10-12").
Good game to play though on those who pull up behind too close in traffic; inch forward to see if they do too. See how many times you can do it and how small a movement you can get them to emulate
Obviously, leave yourself a bit extra space in front of you to allow you to play
So who knows what the space should be when stopped?
VAG should know better than to set the following distance so close, that's dangerous!
Gassing Station | General Gassing | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff