Best Smoker Barges 1-5 large [Vol 7]

[FrankUnderwood]

2stis said:

Yes, I bought one a few weeks ago! An X300 era one though.

Pics please

In a word, what's it like?

[georgezippy]

Blown2CV said:

do any of the thread massive actually own an XJ V12?

I used to have one, an '85 series 3 Sov HE. As already said, rust was the biggest issue. No issues ever with the engine, once I'd fixed the vacuum advance (easy DIY) it edged 20mpg on the motorway and made an epic noise when nailed. Gearbox sadly mismatched to the engine which is quite revvy yet the box with its paltry 3 speeds changes up way too early. Now have a nikasil 4.0 XJ8 which doesn't look or ride as nice, but is just better in so many other ways.
Still glad to have ticked the V12 box, and I'd say it's a better bet than a 4.2 which is prehistoric by comparison.

Edited by georgezippy on Saturday 22 November 15:42

[E65Ross]

The only V12 I've ever been in was my mates DB9, and that was many years ago now.... Just how much smoother is a V12 over a straight 6 or a V8..It's hard to imagine something noticeably smoother than these.... I can't imagine the difference is anywhere near as big as it is from a 4 cylinder to a 6 or 8...?

[E24man]

E65Ross said:

The only V12 I've ever been in was my mates DB9, and that was many years ago now.... Just how much smoother is a V12 over a straight 6 or a V8..It's hard to imagine something noticeably smoother than these.... I can't imagine the difference is anywhere near as big as it is from a 4 cylinder to a 6 or 8...?

I've only had the M73B57 Alpina engine for a pair of weeks but in comparison to the rest of the Fleet it is quite noticeably smoother - the often quoted 'turbine smooth' really is the most fitting description, and even after 17 years and 70k miles you can still easily do the coin-on-an-edge on the engine cover and rev it trick.

Edit to add: That V12 XJ is gorgeous.

[Patrick Bateman]

How high can you rev it before it falls?

[RobinBanks]

E65Ross said:

RobinBanks said:

JF87 said:

I don't really like these (even with lpg!), but there can't be many cheaper ways of getting to 60 in 5 seconds on four wheels. £3,695.


http://www.autotrader.co.uk/classified/advert/2014...

I've always liked these and I'm deliberating about this one. I just know that I don't need two 4.2 litre Jaguar supercharged V8s!

You don't NEED 1 Jaguar with a supercharged 4.2 litre V8....but it doesn't stop you wanting one. Do it. Life's too short.

I'm not helping, am I?

You make a good point.....
And since the one I already have is in a Range Rover.....

[JF87]

Comically awful supplementary photos, but looks decent enough for £4,375 if you like this sort of thing.


http://www.autotrader.co.uk/classified/advert/2014...

[RobinBanks]

JF87 said:

Comically awful supplementary photos, but looks decent enough for £4,375 if you like this sort of thing.


http://www.autotrader.co.uk/classified/advert/2014...

Ooft.

You'd have to really not want a Mercedes SL or Jaguar XK.

[Output Flange]

JF87 said:

Comically awful supplementary photos, but looks decent enough for £4,375 if you like this sort of thing.


http://www.autotrader.co.uk/classified/advert/2014...

The issue being that literally no-one does like that sort of thing - universally slated when new and not much has improved since. Better ways to drive topless for the money.

[slippery]

Patrick Bateman said:

How high can you rev it before it falls?

Pretty sure from memory that the red line on them is 6500 rpm.

[Patrick Bateman]

slippery said:

Pretty sure from memory that the red line on them is 6500 rpm.

You mean the coin will still stand at 6500rpm?

[Lowtimer]

Actually it might, providing you wind the engine up gradually rather than simply slamming the throttle open. Perfect primary and secondary balance.

[0a]

Experiment definitely required!

[Patrick Bateman]

[slippery]

That Jag V12 engine is just luscious. I remember having a 3.6 XJS, which seemed pretty smooth, until I tried a friend's V12. Velvet smooth, decadent, over indulgence.

[derin100]

If any Bargistas are feeling particularly bored this evening, I've finally finished the E34 525i and got my wife to upload some photos in the Gallery section of my website. I culled the photos right down but there are still about 120 so we've set the Slideshow option to run faster than normal to hopefully stop it being too boring!

The order of the photos is basically chronological and starts with how the car looked when it was delivered to me back in July and finishes with some photos taken today.

I haven't yet done a write-up on the car for the website yet but briefly.....

This is a car I sold 6 years ago. In those 6 years it has only covered 8K miles. This was it back then:

http://www.bmwclassics.co.uk/gallery/index.php?spg...

It was one of the quickest sales I ever had, went to the first prospective buyer and was a car that I had so many enquiries for even many months after that I could have sold it many times over. This being the case when I saw it up for sale with a dealer in the Midlands I decided to buy it back unseen and have it delivered to me.

I figured having covered so few miles in those 6 years it could really need much doing? Especially given the dealer's description in their advert of it being a "collector's piece"!

Well, I did end up having to do quite a lot!

Again briefly:

1) What the first pic in the slideshow below does show you and the dealer didn't tell is what the good lady-friend of chap I sold it to had done following a "disagreement" with him (that's how he described it when I spoke to him on the phone about it)! She'd taken what looked like a Brillo pad or some such to the bonnet, front wing tops, driver's door top and passenger mirror casing!

He'd had the bonnet repainted (really badly) but none of the rest.

BIG, unforeseen expense! I had to get all of the above repainted.

But at least now all of that looks lovely and so now not even stone-chip on the bonnet.

Whilst at the bodyshop I also got them to replace the rubber gaskets around the door handles with new ones as these are now commonly all cracked and split on E34s.

2) It also arrived back with only the luvverly[/i} split-rim [i]effect wheels you see in the first pic and not the original and correct basket-weave alloys and (expensive) metric Dunlops. I'd sold it with both having sourced a set of the correct ones last time around.
It wasn't that easy to get a good set of four last time. As expected, six years on it wasn't any easier. Anyway, I managed to get some. The rear tyres are BRAND NEW and the fronts have masses of tread. (The spare is an unused original wheel and tyre).

At least the gorgeous split-rim effect wheels have some budget winter tyres on with masses of tread.

3) I then fixed the stuck passenger rear electric window.

4) Fitted new rear brake pads as there was a warning light on (the front discs and pads were brand new when I sold it 8K miles ago so they are all still good with lots of meat on them.

5) I then set about cleaning underneath. This was too bad at all due to the low miles it had covered and the fact that before I sold it I'd coated it in clear Waxoyl.
I treated any surface rust on the suspension bits I could easily get to with Fertan and repainted them.

6)Interior-wise I replaced the Kenwood Radio/CD with a more appropriate looking CD43. Not cheap! And turned into a bit of a saga with the Ebay seller selling it to means without code and without the side tab covers!

I also (fortunately) managed to source a perfect replacement rear seat-base from a very nice gentleman on the 5-Series Forum as the original had picked-up an indelible stain. With that now in place the interior is basically pristine. If anyone remains undecided about the leather vs cloth debate, take a look at the photos! A near 20 year old leather interior would struggle to look like that?

The mats were all new 8K miles ago so they're all good.

7) I then serviced the car myself with an engine flush and new oil and filter (even the dealer had just done it). New air filter, new spark plugs (probably didn't need them as I'd had them done 8K miles ago), fresh coolant. I was going to replace the cabin Microfilter but when I pulled it out it was still really clean.

I had the brake fluid done by my specialist. I tend not to do that myself in case a bleed nipple snaps...which one did! But my mechanic replaced it.

I also had the Aircon serviced/recharged by him and so that's all working perfectly and ice-cold.

8) I ended up repainting the wheels myself...twice! Top tip: If you are going to repaint BMW (and probably Merc wheels too) yourself just get the Würth paint and lacquer from the outset! And get the gun-thingy that fits the can, as it's worth it. The paint is so much better and the colour is right! I used the Autoglym stuff first off.It's just the wrong shade....too dark a grey.

I wasted money not doing this in the first place but worse, I wasted SO much time. Masking-off the four wheels up twice over and repainting was a PIA.

The rest of it, I think the Slideshow tells:

http://www.bmwclassics.co.uk/gallery/index.php?spg...

Have a good evening and weekend all!

[CampDavid]

What's the plan for it now Derin?

[PlayersNo6]

derin100 said:

lots

Great work and I do like to see an OE stereo. One question though - why didn't you use stick on weights on the inside of the wheels?

[derin100]

PlayersNo6 said:

Great work and I do like to see an OE stereo. One question though - why didn't you use stick on weights on the inside of the wheels?

Oh...normally, if I were having tyres fitted that's what I would have asked for but in this case that's just the way I got them. I ended up buying a job lot of 10 of those wheels and tyres off a chap in Somerset, borrowed a van drove down and collected them and selected out the best four. Two of them had new tyres on and I picked the other two with the best tyres.

From the factory that's how they came.

That's also why it took me so long to paint them because I had to do them with the tyres, valves, weights etc still on.

[derin100]

CampDavid said:

What's the plan for it now Derin?

Well, there's a guy who's been waiting for ages for me to finish it so I have to give him first refusal. He's actually one of the people who missed out 6 years ago.