Staying calm on the road

[TurboHatchback]

Silverbullet767 said:

Calming music works for me, you're not going to be calm listening to Metallica turned up to 11!

I only play heavy metal in my car when it's late and there's nobody around to irritate me. When driving in any kind of traffic it's only classic FM or chilled out music allowed.

[cheesesliceking]

Sump said:

By driving a better car than everyone else.

Obvious troll is obvious... but tell me, is this your knackered Aston with its "ticking" engine?

[coppice]

I think the issue is actually that many of us have a deep seated desire to get upset about something to enable us to engage in righteous indignation and justified(in our terms) anger. Why are we surprised when the frazzled mum in the Picasso full of brats makes a mistake and falls below our exacting standards? But we pretend to be so then we can blow the horn or cut aggressively across her because she's in the WRONG LANE.Or the old guy in the Honda Jazz approaching the busy roundabout -it's tempting to wait for him to make the inevitable error because then you're right and he's wrong and better still you can rant on the internet about it and lots of like minded people will agree with you.

Hair trigger outrage , anger looking for any reason to explode ..We're bloody addicted to it and I was guilty of this stupid self induced anger - in common with many others - until I had a long hard think about what I was doing and why. I'm no saint now but I like to think that I'm not such an oceangoing dhead as I used to be .

[Bennet]

V8Ford said:

Hello all,
Often I find myself getting more and more exasperated on my drive home which can leave me in a bad mood long after I arrive home. So the question is, what do others do to stay calm behind the wheel?

I've had other people's driving indescretions ruin entire evenings plenty of times.

Things I've learned:

1. Don't do anything in response - horn/shout/swear/chase them/anything - if you do, you remember the incident for the rest of your night. If you don't react, you forget about it within a few minutes most of the time.

I have a tally chart in my car. Every time I react to someone and later wish I'd just left it I add a mark.
I have no recorded instances of reacting and later feeling glad I did.

2. Don't ever put your foot down to try to block anyone. Nine times out of ten, they'll get in anyway because they already had a decent speed advantage over you. Trying to stop them doing it and failing feels worse than just watching it happen.

3. Read a lot of Pistonheads threads about ttty driving. Over time, the calm, saintly advice of all the Rover drivers to just rise above it and let it go rubs off on your brain.

4. Other drivers are hazards and, as the advanced driver in the situation, your role is to acknowledge the hazard and avoid it. And that's all they are. Another hazard of driving.

"You can't educate 20 million morons. So don't try."

[CrutyRammers]

Bennet said:

4. Other drivers are hazards and, as the advanced driver in the situation, your role is to acknowledge the hazard and avoid it. And that's all they are. Another hazard of driving.

Here is the key I think, Don said the much same further up in different words.
Coppice's post was also very insightful IMO. Plus he gets points for use of the phrase "oceangoing dhead"

[Swanny87]

chilistrucker said:

+1 on the Italy thing, they are bonkers. I can be sat at a set of lights in the wagon at the end of a village/small town, (the road will be single carriageway.) They are quite happy to pull up either side of me or both in lanes that don't exist, ready to nail it off the lights to get in front. If its a 3 vehicle launch i always come 3rd, but 1st and 2nd is often a close run thing

I've got some fun to look forward to then . I'm driving through Tuscany the week after next in a Fiat Panda (or similar) I'm taking the car from Pisa to Rome so hopefully Hertz have a 458 that they need in Rome and I can do them a favour

On a serious note I find controlled breathing helps me calm down. Decent music helps as well; something upbeat. The last point I can make is expect everyone else to be a complete idiot then nothing will surprise you (having said that, I have seen some things on the road that I thought people couldn't possibly think about doing).

Edited by Swanny87 on Wednesday 23 July 10:25

[IanCress]

coppice said:

I think the issue is actually that many of us have a deep seated desire to get upset about something to enable us to engage in righteous indignation and justified(in our terms) anger. Why are we surprised when the frazzled mum in the Picasso full of brats makes a mistake and falls below our exacting standards? But we pretend to be so then we can blow the horn or cut aggressively across her because she's in the WRONG LANE.Or the old guy in the Honda Jazz approaching the busy roundabout -it's tempting to wait for him to make the inevitable error because then you're right and he's wrong and better still you can rant on the internet about it and lots of like minded people will agree with you.

Hair trigger outrage , anger looking for any reason to explode ..We're bloody addicted to it and I was guilty of this stupid self induced anger - in common with many others - until I had a long hard think about what I was doing and why. I'm no saint now but I like to think that I'm not such an oceangoing dhead as I used to be .

I think that's a very good point. It's evident every time you drive on a busy motorway in this country. Someone indicates to pull in to a gap and the driver behind closes the gap to make it seem as if the person merging is 'cutting them up'. Gives the driver behind a great excuse to get angry about an issue that didn't even exist until they caused it.

ETA: I watched one of those 'uk road accident' youtube compilation videos a few weeks ago. I'd say 25% of them were avoidable, if it wasn't for the fact that one of the drivers tried to make it look like the other driver was too close. Eg. a car pulls out in front and the driver doesn't immediately hit the brakes, instead opting to get right up close to the car in front. The car in front then has to do an emergency stop, and the car behind has nowhere to go.

Edited by IanCress on Wednesday 23 July 10:29

[S10GTA]

V8Ford said:

Hello all,

Reading through the forums here it seems there is no shortage of things that annoy us - tailgaters, dawdlers, lane hogs, people who can't maintain a steady speed, people who cut you up on roundabouts etc.
Often I find myself getting more and more exasperated on my drive home which can leave me in a bad mood long after I arrive home. So the question is, what do others do to stay calm behind the wheel?

Matthew

I commute by bike instead. Much better than sitting in traffic etc.

[Mr Gear]

Mastodon2 said:

Get a motorcycle.

This. Or get a more wafty car. A prius is super relaxing to drive!

Or maybe even an open top car. I find them very relaxing too.

[g3org3y]

BritishRacinGrin said:

Finally I like to play the 'don't brake' game, this is good for your heart rate as well as your fuel economy. It encourages a driver to follow at a safe distance and look well ahead in order to anticipate anything which is likely to result in a change of speed. It always makes me uncomfortable when I passenger with a driver who seems to just sit in the outside lane and watch the brake light of the car in front intently, poking at their own brakes every time it illuminates. Even better when you have a train of them following nose-to-tail, and they look like a line of racing cars with blinking rain lights on a formation lap...

Agree with this.

Really makes you concentrate on observation and anticipation.

[EskimoArapaho]

As a genuine, works-every-time thing, if I feel that miffed I use the next opportunity to do someone else a favour: let someone out of a tricky junction, let pushy White Van Man in to my lane, slow-down/speed-up/whatever to make it easier for someone else to adjust their road position, etc.

Whether you believe in karma or not (I don't) I find that doing a good turn for someone else when I'm p*ss*d off makes me feel better.

[Swanny87]

IanCress said:

I think that's a very good point. It's evident every time you drive on a busy motorway in this country. Someone indicates to pull in to a gap and the driver behind closes the gap to make it seem as if the person merging is 'cutting them up'. Gives the driver behind a great excuse to get angry about an issue that didn't even exist until they caused it.

ETA: I watched one of those 'uk road accident' youtube compilation videos a few weeks ago. I'd say 25% of them were avoidable, if it wasn't for the fact that one of the drivers tried to make it look like the other driver was too close. Eg. a car pulls out in front and the driver doesn't immediately hit the brakes, instead opting to get right up close to the car in front. The car in front then has to do an emergency stop, and the car behind has nowhere to go.

Edited by IanCress on Wednesday 23 July 10:29

Hit the nail on the head. The amount of times I've changed lane and there's been a decent gap and then suddenly there's someone in my rear view mirror or trying to overtake me when I'm half in the next lane. Why would you want to risk an accident by driving full pelt at someone? I just don't get it.

[DJP]

Mastodon2 said:

Get a motorcycle.

This^^.

m444ttb said:

Automatic gearbox!

And, failing that, this^^.

[Pixelpeep]

Taking the inlaws places in the back of a car that seems to be a tt-magnet is 'deep-end' training for being calmer behind the wheel.

My coping mechanism is to second guess the monumentally stupid move, feel validated once it happens and laugh about it to myself that ' i saw that one coming '

i like the sip of water thing, great idea, think i will try that. i've just ordered a new car with an auto box so that should help out also.

[toxgobbler]

V8Ford said:

Hello all,

Reading through the forums here it seems there is no shortage of things that annoy us - tailgaters, dawdlers, lane hogs, people who can't maintain a steady speed, people who cut you up on roundabouts etc.
Often I find myself getting more and more exasperated on my drive home which can leave me in a bad mood long after I arrive home. So the question is, what do others do to stay calm behind the wheel?

Matthew

Swap the wheel for some handlebars and most of those issues go away, and the ride home will be more absorbing. I find if I go home the scenic route, whatever was bothering me at work etc has faded away by the time I get home.

[HSV_V8]

vrsmxtb said:

Don said:

My view on remaining calm on the road is to consider the act of driving as a professional activity. Something to do dispassionately and to the best of your ability.

I've been on no end of driving training courses - all of which I have enjoyed - and constantly seek to better what I do on the road.

Then, when confronted with the inevitable tttery of the British road system, one can rise above it, determined to make smooth, fast, and unobtrusive progress through the melee that others are making for themselves.

Be where the accident isn't. Be fast when it is safe. Be smooth. Find ways to make better progress - without behaving like the idiots - just by being smart.

Turns it into a challenge. Good fun. Much better for my blood pressure.


...and I still swear under my breath at the ones that seem to be trying to kill me....

This man speaks a lot of sense!

Agree with this, "consider the act of driving as a professional activity. Something to do dispassionately and to the best of your ability." especially when commuting.

[Lost soul]

Otispunkmeyer said:

for me, I used to just set cruise to 60-65 and then sit in the first lane. Let all the idiots get on with it. Invariably I'd be home about the same time anyway and I'd be more relaxed.

That's the method I use

[B'stard Child]

Don said:

My view on remaining calm on the road is to consider the act of driving as a professional activity. Something to do dispassionately and to the best of your ability.

I've been on no end of driving training courses - all of which I have enjoyed - and constantly seek to better what I do on the road.

Then, when confronted with the inevitable tttery of the British road system, one can rise above it, determined to make smooth, fast, and unobtrusive progress through the melee that others are making for themselves.

Be where the accident isn't. Be fast when it is safe. Be smooth. Find ways to make better progress - without behaving like the idiots - just by being smart.

Turns it into a challenge. Good fun. Much better for my blood pressure.


...and I still swear under my breath at the ones that seem to be trying to kill me....

Bennet said:

4. Other drivers are hazards and, as the advanced driver in the situation, your role is to acknowledge the hazard and avoid it. And that's all they are. Another hazard of driving.

"You can't educate 20 million morons. So don't try."

Spot on..... Both of you

[RichwiththeS2000]

This problem is very prevalent in the S2000. It's a very capable car that you don't want to just "waft" in! And as such you are constantly held up by the stupid/slow drivers. There was a time where I would get really frustrated, my way around it is the second I clock myself started to get wound up is to interupt that thought with a quick "Let it go!"

ATEOTD it doesn't really matter, on our death beds we're not going to be thinking about the time a Micra pulled out in front of us and did 40mph in a 60 for no reason! Hopefully not anyway. It makes no difference in the long run. The key is to try and make time where you know you can enjoy the car which is why I like doing the occasional trip to Wales or track days. Get the good stuff out of your system at somepoint and you will be able to cope!

Edited by RichwiththeS2000 on Wednesday 23 July 13:05

[judas]

Some good advice here

I switched to big wafty barges a few years ago and it helped the commute no end. But lately, with too many bad days at work, I find myself getting all shouty again and this really needs to stop. It's inevitable that there'll be many incidents of monumental stupidity over the course of the week, so need to find some way to let it all wash over me.

As the great man said: " Wooosaaaah..."