Chunj - Is this your Ignis?

[northwest monkey]

Chuck328 said:

What about carbon brakes? Are you going to fit them? You know, lower that 'unsprung mass' of yours?

I've heard painting the front calipers and rear drums red has the same effect as fitting carbon brakes. That and fitting a pair of bks hanging off the back bumper and some fake fingers poking out of the boot.

[hidetheelephants]

Chunkymonkey71 said:

I'm up here in the might Berlingo I'm afraid. Funny you should mention Aberdeen and filthy shaggers- I was surveying a store down by the harbour yesterday and ive never seen so many used 'extra safe' condoms lying about.

Must be a lot of bumming going on down there.

Visiting the ASDA after dark can be quite eyeopening, as the pros are often 'open for business'. I'm assuming they were pros, I can't see Mrs. Miggins going for her messages wearing a shear dress, a g-string and 6" heels.

Does the Ignis have turbo boost and an annoying voice like KITT out of Knightrider?

[drivin_me_nuts]

hidetheelephants said:

Chunkymonkey71 said:

I'm up here in the might Berlingo I'm afraid. Funny you should mention Aberdeen and filthy shaggers- I was surveying a store down by the harbour yesterday and ive never seen so many used 'extra safe' condoms lying about.

Must be a lot of bumming going on down there.

Visiting the ASDA after dark can be quite eyeopening, as the pros are often 'open for business'. I'm assuming they were pros, I can't see Mrs. Miggins going for her messages wearing a shear dress, a g-string and 6" heels.

... an annoying voice like KITT out of Knightrider?

Sorry, we're talking about the mighty Ignis here, not Jabby.

[AW111]

Tango13 said:

Most majestic Chunj...

Earlier in the thread you bestowed a small nugget of your almost limitless wisdom on all things Ignis related upon our unworthy screens when you mentioned that you run without front valve caps at the front.

How much of a reduction does this make to your bridge to gantry times at the Nurburgring Nordschleife?

I'm thinking of ditching the steel valve caps and switching to plastic to improve the intial 'turn in response' but will it help me hold a tighter line on the fast sweeping curves of my daily commute?

As it is the ratio of sprung to unsprung weight that matters, eating a few pies before a track session pays huge dividends here, an issue that Chunj knows full well.

[DickyC]

There was a wild-eyed Scot standing next to an Ignis in Tesco's car park in Newbury. I addressed the car thus:

"Ignis - Is this your Chunjy?"

[DickyC]

At a Sex Pistols concert I found myself covered in spit and sought out the manager to remonstrate. I said:

"McLaren - Is this your Phlegm?"

[Chunkymonkey71]

FRA53R said:

Dear Overlord Chunj, to gain your approval I drew you a picture of you enjoying your Ignis, if this pleases you so, can you please place a copy on your fridge.

This is spectacular!

[Chunkymonkey71]

I have saved this as my Facebook background picture!

[pad58]

He has.

[Tango13]

AW111 said:

Tango13 said:

Most majestic Chunj...

Earlier in the thread you bestowed a small nugget of your almost limitless wisdom on all things Ignis related upon our unworthy screens when you mentioned that you run without front valve caps at the front.

How much of a reduction does this make to your bridge to gantry times at the Nurburgring Nordschleife?

I'm thinking of ditching the steel valve caps and switching to plastic to improve the intial 'turn in response' but will it help me hold a tighter line on the fast sweeping curves of my daily commute?

As it is the ratio of sprung to unsprung weight that matters, eating a few pies before a track session pays huge dividends here, an issue that Chunj knows full well.

Are you the official or the self appointed and unofficial spokesperson for The Most Divine and Majestic Chunj?

Obiviously i'm not looking to pick a fight, us devotees of all things Ignis must be united in our worship of such a motoring icon but someone as all powerful as Chunj has two spokespersons and I was wondering which one you were?

[Mark-C]

All those fking years saving up for an F1 ... what a fking waste of time.

I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT

[FRA53R]

Chunkymonkey71 said:

I have saved this as my Facebook background picture!

Haha! Brilliant, this has made my day! On another note after doing that has anyone asked you if you've started working with the mentally ill?

[Chunkymonkey71]

FRA53R said:

Haha! Brilliant, this has made my day! On another note after doing that has anyone asked you if you've started working with the mentally ill?

It's had quite a few likes! The trivial towers people particularly like it.

[AW111]

Tango13 said:

Are you the official or the self appointed and unofficial spokesperson for The Most Divine and Majestic Chunj?

Obiviously i'm not looking to pick a fight, us devotees of all things Ignis must be united in our worship of such a motoring icon but someone as all powerful as Chunj has two spokespersons and I was wondering which one you were?

Obviously a mere mortal like me could never hope to be the "official" official spokesman for Sir Chunge of Monkey, but as he answered one of my posts it is clear we have a special and ongoing relationship.

Besides, I looked at an Ignis once, so clearly, this being PH, I am an internet expert on all things Suzuki.

[vrsmxtb]

Bad luck Chunk, the 1.3GL is the one to go for apparently, less outrageous power:

http://www.parkers.co.uk/cars/reviews/owners-revie...

[northwest monkey]

vrsmxtb said:

Bad luck Chunk, the 1.3GL is the one to go for apparently, less outrageous power:

http://www.parkers.co.uk/cars/reviews/owners-revie...

And not forgetting, the 1.3GL has less waight (sic). Probably a carbon fibre chassis or something.

[FRA53R]

northwest monkey said:

vrsmxtb said:

Bad luck Chunk, the 1.3GL is the one to go for apparently, less outrageous power:

http://www.parkers.co.uk/cars/reviews/owners-revie...

And not forgetting, the 1.3GL has less waight (sic). Probably a carbon fibre chassis or something.

Not everyone can tame the mad 2nd gear wheelspinning devil that is an Ignis, hence why Chunj has earned his place atop the pantheon of PH gods.

With regards to 'waight' I believe the spelling is indeed correct as per the intentions of the head spiritual designer Isheeta Bricko who said:

'Within Ignis I wish to create feeling not like any other. This called 'waight' too much cause weak to choose more suitable car. However for chosen few will lead to much happiness and internet glory!'

[eldar]

vrsmxtb said:

Bad luck Chunk, the 1.3GL is the one to go for apparently, less outrageous power:

http://www.parkers.co.uk/cars/reviews/owners-revie...

Don't be silly, Mr Chunj invented the cure for that unparalleled power. Inflate inner front wheel with Carbon Dioxide, outer with Helium and traction perfect. You underestimate his panther like cunning.

[Chunkymonkey71]

I called Suzuki to tell them how to do it right but there was just some shouting, then some karate noises... Then they hung up!

[DickyC]

Chunkymonkey71 said:

I called Suzuki to tell them how to do it right but there was just some shouting, then some karate noises... Then they hung up!

The transcript reads: "Too pow foh, too pow foh!! Aaaaaay...ya!!" brrrrr.