Weird breakdown stories
Discussion
(1) Pulled into a layby to check the road map for directions (pre-satnav days). As I pulled past some parked cars I was flagged down by a hand waving out of one of the cars. I pulled up and got out to see a couple naked in their car asking if they could borrow my mobile phone to call for assistance as their car wouldn't start. I duly obliged.
(2) Drove my mums brand new, 150 miles on the clock, Corsa 1.4 automatic up to Central London. As I pulled away from the lights at Trafalgar square the car broke down, blocked traffic from behind me and from the lane joining to the left. Car wouldn't start at all and the engine seemed to have seized solid so I couldn't even move it in N. It caused gridlock and mayhem. It took the AA 15 minutes to get towards Trafalgar Square and another hour to negotiate the traffic. Cause: the infamous plastic tensioners and cambelt of VX's.
(3) Went to Tesco around 9pm. Fairly empty car park. A Green Flag patrol was attending to a Zafira, the same as mine. Bought nappies etc and came out. The Green Flag patrolman approached me:
GF = Green Flag Patrolman
Me = Me
PL = Psycho Lady
GF: Excuse me sir, I don't know if you can help, but this lady has had her spare wheel stolen and if you live locally to her, would it be possible for her to borrow your spare to get her home, she'll get a new tyre in the morning and return your spare to you?
Me: Not a problem. Where do you live?
PL: In Allington. (only 4 miles from me)
So the patrolman gets his jack and tools out in preparation.
PL: I'm not dropping off your wheel. You'll have to come and get it.
Me: Err. Sorry?
PL: You can't come around unless my husband is in. I ain't having strangers knowing where I live.
Me: So I'm giving you a stranger my £100 wheel with a £100 tyre on it and you want me to collect it but only when you say so.
PL: (By now ranting) You can collect your wheel when I tell you!
So I get in the car and drive off looking at the despondent Green Flag man in my rear view mirror and a mouthy psycho shouting obscenities at me.
(2) Drove my mums brand new, 150 miles on the clock, Corsa 1.4 automatic up to Central London. As I pulled away from the lights at Trafalgar square the car broke down, blocked traffic from behind me and from the lane joining to the left. Car wouldn't start at all and the engine seemed to have seized solid so I couldn't even move it in N. It caused gridlock and mayhem. It took the AA 15 minutes to get towards Trafalgar Square and another hour to negotiate the traffic. Cause: the infamous plastic tensioners and cambelt of VX's.
(3) Went to Tesco around 9pm. Fairly empty car park. A Green Flag patrol was attending to a Zafira, the same as mine. Bought nappies etc and came out. The Green Flag patrolman approached me:
GF = Green Flag Patrolman
Me = Me
PL = Psycho Lady
GF: Excuse me sir, I don't know if you can help, but this lady has had her spare wheel stolen and if you live locally to her, would it be possible for her to borrow your spare to get her home, she'll get a new tyre in the morning and return your spare to you?
Me: Not a problem. Where do you live?
PL: In Allington. (only 4 miles from me)
So the patrolman gets his jack and tools out in preparation.
PL: I'm not dropping off your wheel. You'll have to come and get it.
Me: Err. Sorry?
PL: You can't come around unless my husband is in. I ain't having strangers knowing where I live.
Me: So I'm giving you a stranger my £100 wheel with a £100 tyre on it and you want me to collect it but only when you say so.
PL: (By now ranting) You can collect your wheel when I tell you!
So I get in the car and drive off looking at the despondent Green Flag man in my rear view mirror and a mouthy psycho shouting obscenities at me.
Pulled up behind a broken-down car on M1 hard shoulder. Driver sitting contentedly in the car.
Turns out he'd run out of petrol after joining the motorway some 800 yards previously. No money, no cards, no breakdown recovery membership, no mobile phone and no idea of anyone's phone number who could help. Significant distance from home, too. He had absolutely no idea what to do next.
His car was removed under statutory powers to a secure pound which cost him £150 + daily storage costs. Some people are utterly clueless.
Turns out he'd run out of petrol after joining the motorway some 800 yards previously. No money, no cards, no breakdown recovery membership, no mobile phone and no idea of anyone's phone number who could help. Significant distance from home, too. He had absolutely no idea what to do next.
His car was removed under statutory powers to a secure pound which cost him £150 + daily storage costs. Some people are utterly clueless.
vikingaero said:
(1) Pulled into a layby to check the road map for directions (pre-satnav days). As I pulled past some parked cars I was flagged down by a hand waving out of one of the cars. I pulled up and got out to see a couple naked in their car asking if they could borrow my mobile phone to call for assistance as their car wouldn't start. I duly obliged.
Is that not a well-know 'opening gambit' on the dogging scene? 
Matt UK said:
vikingaero said:
(1) Pulled into a layby to check the road map for directions (pre-satnav days). As I pulled past some parked cars I was flagged down by a hand waving out of one of the cars. I pulled up and got out to see a couple naked in their car asking if they could borrow my mobile phone to call for assistance as their car wouldn't start. I duly obliged.
Is that not a well-know 'opening gambit' on the dogging scene? Did a 5-point, 180-degree turnaround in the gateway to a farmer's field on a remote, narrow country lane. On the fourth turn, reversing, the car suddenly starts rolling backwards into a hole. Jumped on the brakes, but gravity won. AA patrolman turns up to find a car half in a ditch and pointing comedy-style towards the sky at a roughly 45-degree angle. Winched out, and drove off with just a few cosmetic dents. Turns out, the farmer had dug a ~2-foot-deep trench across the field's entrance, and hidden it under branches and leaves, to deter certain persons parking their vehicles in his field 
littleredrooster said:
Pulled up behind a broken-down car on M1 hard shoulder. Driver sitting contentedly in the car.
Turns out he'd run out of petrol after joining the motorway some 800 yards previously. No money, no cards, no breakdown recovery membership, no mobile phone and no idea of anyone's phone number who could help. Significant distance from home, too. He had absolutely no idea what to do next.
His car was removed under statutory powers to a secure pound which cost him £150 + daily storage costs. Some people are utterly clueless.
Is that what happens when you run out of fuel on the motorway? I rolled into Clacket Lane with 1 mile to empty on the computer a year or so ago due to an error in judgement Turns out he'd run out of petrol after joining the motorway some 800 yards previously. No money, no cards, no breakdown recovery membership, no mobile phone and no idea of anyone's phone number who could help. Significant distance from home, too. He had absolutely no idea what to do next.
His car was removed under statutory powers to a secure pound which cost him £150 + daily storage costs. Some people are utterly clueless.
Drove back to south London from deepest Essex one night with a dodgy alternator, everything off in the car, headlights off in lit areas, was doing OK, and as I pulled away from the lights at the Blackwall Tunnel it hesitated, so I dumped it into the cones in the centre of the road as I really didn't want to break down in the tunnel!! Long unpleasant wait watching car after car swerve at the last minute and only just miss mine. Best moment was somebody stopping at the same point on the left side of the road to finish a phone call before the tunnel!
Buff Mchugelarge said:
That's a Saab 900... They don't breakdown?!
It's only let me down a few times in 10 years, but it's now 24 years old (this month IIRC) with 190k miles! In this case the brushes in the alternator regulator were worn down to almost nothing! Replaced them (5 or 6 years ago) and the alternator is still working fine now!imagineifyeswill said:
I spent 17 years working 24hour breakdown recovery services and could write a book about all the odd,weird and stupid breakdowns and people I came across also the incredulous stories and excuses Ive been told about how theses breakdowns occurred.
Here's your big chance!When I worked for the AA a patrol told me about a call he went to.
Arrived on driveway to find Rover 800, two kids in the back, embarrassed looking mum with husband stomping around shouting into his mobile. Mum explained that she was supposed to be dropping hubby off at the airport but the car wouldn't start. Husband finished call on phone, paused to greet the patrol with a cheerful "you took your f***ing time" then turned back to his mobile for another gobbing off session.
My colleague then addressed the breakdown. Leaning into the car, he moved the gearlever from "drive" to "park" and started the car.
Cue look of horror from housewife.
Husband storms over to ask what was wrong.
"The immobiliser mate, sometimes mobile phones can set them off."
Arrived on driveway to find Rover 800, two kids in the back, embarrassed looking mum with husband stomping around shouting into his mobile. Mum explained that she was supposed to be dropping hubby off at the airport but the car wouldn't start. Husband finished call on phone, paused to greet the patrol with a cheerful "you took your f***ing time" then turned back to his mobile for another gobbing off session.
My colleague then addressed the breakdown. Leaning into the car, he moved the gearlever from "drive" to "park" and started the car.
Cue look of horror from housewife.
Husband storms over to ask what was wrong.
"The immobiliser mate, sometimes mobile phones can set them off."
Coming home down the M1 from Sheffield after an FA Cup Semi final. It was dark. The rain was torrential. There were four of us in my mate's Datsun Cherry - yes, this was many years ago.
I was asleep in the back of the car when we suffered an offside blow out. Pulling onto the hard shoulder, my friend attempted to get the wheel off. To no avail. Whatever he did, he just could not loosen the bolts. Each of us had a go. Each of us failed.
Soaked to the skin, my friend set off up the hard shoulder to find an emergency phone to get assistance. - this was pre mobiles.
By that time, the storm had reached epic proportions and trucks were carreening by just inches from our little car. Visibility was atrocious.
Eventually, a police Volvo motorway patrol car arrived and out into the stormy night jumped a couple of traffic policemen. We explained the problem to them & they set to work, emptying out their patrol car to get to a huge torque wrench with which they attempted to loosen the recalcitrant bolts.
To no avail.
After what seemed like an age, my friend suddenly piped up. "Err, officer". He said. "I think I know the problem. My car has plastic wheel hubs which are moulded around the bolt studs. That's why you can't get them off".
At that, the bedraggled policeman slowly turned to face him. I'll never forget the short and sweet sentiment that he came out with. He looked my friend in the eye, rain dripping from the end of his nose.
"You stupid
". He sighed.
And with that and without another word, he pried the hub cap off and then he and his partner sloshed away, re-loaded the patrol car and drove off, leaving us to it.
I was asleep in the back of the car when we suffered an offside blow out. Pulling onto the hard shoulder, my friend attempted to get the wheel off. To no avail. Whatever he did, he just could not loosen the bolts. Each of us had a go. Each of us failed.
Soaked to the skin, my friend set off up the hard shoulder to find an emergency phone to get assistance. - this was pre mobiles.
By that time, the storm had reached epic proportions and trucks were carreening by just inches from our little car. Visibility was atrocious.
Eventually, a police Volvo motorway patrol car arrived and out into the stormy night jumped a couple of traffic policemen. We explained the problem to them & they set to work, emptying out their patrol car to get to a huge torque wrench with which they attempted to loosen the recalcitrant bolts.
To no avail.
After what seemed like an age, my friend suddenly piped up. "Err, officer". He said. "I think I know the problem. My car has plastic wheel hubs which are moulded around the bolt studs. That's why you can't get them off".
At that, the bedraggled policeman slowly turned to face him. I'll never forget the short and sweet sentiment that he came out with. He looked my friend in the eye, rain dripping from the end of his nose.
"You stupid
". He sighed.And with that and without another word, he pried the hub cap off and then he and his partner sloshed away, re-loaded the patrol car and drove off, leaving us to it.
One is a tale from the dark ages when cars had points etc. I decided that the points in my oldie had seen better days and for the cost of a new set vs the problems if they failed decided to change them. Latest thing on the market was a single piece set. Looked good, so I opted fro this. One dark night car packed up and as points were last thing I'd touched, I looked there. Insulation on the olderset was hard plastic, whereas the new ones was clear, except on one spot where it was black. I'd kept old set ,so straight bak in and off we went. Another that comes to mind was comical ,if it hadn't had potentially dangerous side effects. My company had a policy on company cars that the cars got serviced when they broke down. Come autumn, mine broke down at regular interviles. One time I was on the hard shoulder on the M40 ,a couple of miles from J10 services waiting for the RAC, when a female driver pulled in behind me. She said she was very low on fuel ,had I any and how far to services. I'd said a couple of miles from J10, as I pointed out to female ,there was a large sign a couple of hundred yards further on saying "J10 services, 2 miles". At that she got back in car, reversed about 20 yards down the hard shoulder and nearly caused a pile up by pulling into L1, WITH ON COMING TRAFFIC AT 70 . My problem, the service monkeys at our garage had decided that the pre heat pipe over the exhaust manifold ,which heated air into the carb was a luxury.
imagineifyeswill said:
I spent 17 years working 24hour breakdown recovery services and could write a book about all the odd,weird and stupid breakdowns and people I came across also the incredulous stories and excuses Ive been told about how theses breakdowns occurred.
Come on, the children are gathered around for story time...June last year in SWMBO's Clio returning from my nans funeral, myself, my sister and her hubby. On the M4 westbound between Leigh Delamare Services and J18 the Clio decides to lunch it's camshaft pulley, as it turned out 14 bent valves later and thankfully managing to get the car over to the Hard Shoulder, we're left waiting 3+ hrs standing in the long grass behind a barrier. All of us in our mourning attire, by now pitch darkness, finally the tow truck arrives. June it may have been but was still decidedly chilly stood waiting.
Thankfully the driver was given the ok to recover us all the way home to S Wales and approaching 2am we reached the garage around the corner from my house, best place to leave the car until the morning when I could speak to the mechanic.
Cue the Total Fail of the Recovery driver who promptly released the car down the lowered bed sending the car careering backwards off the truck and straight into the metal gates of the holding yard adjacent to the garage building! Luckily the damage to the car was minimal, boot lid dented, rear light smashed, bumper badly scraped. The gates were bent and twisted and the wall mounted post of the one gate had been shifted slightly.
Cue attitude fail of recovery driver when I succinctly asked, "what the f**k did you just do?"
Anyway, details taken and photos the driver sloped off and I finally got to my bed around 3am after a day that one would like to forget!
Just think it was my dear nans idea of a memorable farewell. Lol.
Thankfully the driver was given the ok to recover us all the way home to S Wales and approaching 2am we reached the garage around the corner from my house, best place to leave the car until the morning when I could speak to the mechanic.
Cue the Total Fail of the Recovery driver who promptly released the car down the lowered bed sending the car careering backwards off the truck and straight into the metal gates of the holding yard adjacent to the garage building! Luckily the damage to the car was minimal, boot lid dented, rear light smashed, bumper badly scraped. The gates were bent and twisted and the wall mounted post of the one gate had been shifted slightly.
Cue attitude fail of recovery driver when I succinctly asked, "what the f**k did you just do?"
Anyway, details taken and photos the driver sloped off and I finally got to my bed around 3am after a day that one would like to forget!
Just think it was my dear nans idea of a memorable farewell. Lol.
Few years ago I had a 30 mile commute, and picked up a cheap diesel 106 to save on fuel costs as a bit skint.
Anyway, February time I am driving home on a country lane. Change gear and lose all power. Coast to a halt in a lay by and try everything to get it started, eventually flattening the half knackered battery.
A lady pulls up behind me , offers phone / help. There is naff all she can do and its freezing cold so i politely send her on her way and wait for the RAC. 3 hrs of shivering in the dark later they turn up and I'm on my way...cable to stop solenoid had split inside the sheath.
Anyway...fast forward a year and I'm driving same route (in a less rubbish car) and the car in front of me suddenly slows, hazards come on and chucks it into the same layby as I did. I follow and its the same lady who stopped for me. Her car has every engine light possible on and limp home. Nothing obviously broken and sounds OK, and again its freezing cold. She restarts it and less lights come on so follow her home in case it conks out, and then get on my way.
Anyway, February time I am driving home on a country lane. Change gear and lose all power. Coast to a halt in a lay by and try everything to get it started, eventually flattening the half knackered battery.
A lady pulls up behind me , offers phone / help. There is naff all she can do and its freezing cold so i politely send her on her way and wait for the RAC. 3 hrs of shivering in the dark later they turn up and I'm on my way...cable to stop solenoid had split inside the sheath.
Anyway...fast forward a year and I'm driving same route (in a less rubbish car) and the car in front of me suddenly slows, hazards come on and chucks it into the same layby as I did. I follow and its the same lady who stopped for me. Her car has every engine light possible on and limp home. Nothing obviously broken and sounds OK, and again its freezing cold. She restarts it and less lights come on so follow her home in case it conks out, and then get on my way.
'er indoors was running me to work, just after dawn, when a deer appeared from nowhere and just as rapidly disappeared under the front of the car. After hauling the carcass off the road we noticed fluid dripping from the car, so called the RAC, and I phoned my boss to pick me up, abandoning Mrs K to await the breakdown wagon.
Whilst waiting for my lift we pushed the car into a side road off the dual carriageway, and I answered the call of nature by, erm "inspecting" the front tyre.
Mrs K reported that the recovery truck was driven by the cockiest, most arrogant, patronising 2@ she'd ever met, and that, after the briefest of inspections, he bent down and dipped his fingers in the pool of fresh urine, tasted it, and said "it's just screenwash fluid, you can drive home OK"
There was a thousand quid's worth of damage, but the laugh was priceless.
Whilst waiting for my lift we pushed the car into a side road off the dual carriageway, and I answered the call of nature by, erm "inspecting" the front tyre.
Mrs K reported that the recovery truck was driven by the cockiest, most arrogant, patronising 2@ she'd ever met, and that, after the briefest of inspections, he bent down and dipped his fingers in the pool of fresh urine, tasted it, and said "it's just screenwash fluid, you can drive home OK"
There was a thousand quid's worth of damage, but the laugh was priceless.
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