My simple solution to make motoring "nice" again

[numtumfutunch]

This afternoon I had to make a trip into town which also involved a few miles on the ring road
Despite it being Saturday it was a nightmare for the usual reasons

Most of these involved a mix of other peoples stupidity and selfishness:

Poor lane discipline
Yellow box junction violation
Pulling out into traffic from side roads
Being too important to queue and forcing entry at the top of filter lanes
Buses giving one indicator flash and then moving into the traffic flow
Ignoring my right of way and expecting me to yield regardless
Those ignoring no right turn with 253 cars behind them whilst a gap appears for the no right turn
Pedestrians jay walking
Bloke on mobility scooter riding on main arterial out of town with a dozen cars unable to overtake due to on coming traffic
Amber gamblers

Etc etc etc - insert your own pet hate

Not only do the above make me seethe due to how self centred we seem to have become, the other factor is that traffic flows much more slowly when a minority think that rules dont apply to them and fk the rest of us if it gets them to their destination 2 mins faster

However I have had an epiphany

Let's make it compulsory to have a gun in your car

Would you force your way to the front of a left turn filter if you knew all of the cars who had been waiting 5 minutes were packing heat?
Would you pull out in front of me from a side road if I had an AK47 on my passenger seat?
Would you put yourself into a yellow box and fk the junction if my passenger had a Sten and a fragmentation grenade primed ready for use?

I suspect the answer to the above would be "no"

However permit me to go on a step further

What if your car was fitted with a currently fashionable dash cam permanently recording antisocial behaviour
Moreover what if our politicians and police decided that being a selfish tt on the road was a capital offence?

Would people really drive like aholes if they knew that not only was every car carrying a gun but that lethal force was legal for tttish driving?

I think we all know the answer

Naturally there are minor legal issues to overcome

Principally any weapon would need to be operated one handed so as not to get into trouble with plod
Im not much of a gun expert, Id imagine an AK47 needs 2 hands, and although an Uzi needs 1 may be a bit indiscriminate
A way round this is to possibly carry a handgun to wing ones target and then deploy an RPG when they are stationary - again Im not an expert here

Cyclists and motorcyclists are another problem

If a motorist wrongs you whilst on a motorbike you could easily chase them down in traffic and then pump several rounds into them from a concealed handgun at a red traffic light

Im a keen cyclist myself and naturally the weight of an armament causes me stress
On the other hand several mates spend £100 on carbon fibre water bottle holders saving 6grammes and so would probably have the excess cash to pay whatever it takes to get a weight weenie tool for the bike

I can see no obvious drawback to this plan

Foreigners may plead ignorance but when I go to France I know to take 4 yellow jackets for us and a breathalyser to make sure Ive had enough to drink so the info is all out there

The roads would be a much more chilled and nicer place

What have I missed?

My only concern is that when you pop someones ass for delaying you when they decide to execute a no right turn against heavy traffic your dash cam doesnt work

The answer to this is blanket CCTV - preferably coupled with a remote weapon system manned by teenage boys who play too much Playstation
(You wouldnt even need to pay them)

Comments welcome

[powerstroke]

Ban cyclists and Audi's !!!

[Impasse]

I'd just be doing a lot of pre-emptive strikes. It would be a noisy journey time, but the road would be clear.

[Kawasicki]

No speed limits.

[wilfandrowlf]

I think it's a brilliant plan, the roads would be empty in under a fortnight!
I would also retrain as an undertaker, business would be booming and I could afford one of these....

[junglie]

What a silly little post that has not been thought out.

You are assuming there is enough ammunition in the world to sort out all the twonks on my 15 min commute!

[Pints]

Where do I go to vote yes?

[anonymous-user]

You're in the wrong on a few of the points raised..

[divetheworld]

[redacted]

[Captainawesome]

I have had the same thoughts myself many times. I'm in. Who is starting the E-petition to send to number 10 and salmond??

[Toltec]

You want give guns to people that cannot even drive a car properly?

[Dave^]

Like this... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMjnQ1dvlJM ?

I must admit, Googling to find that brought up far too many (US) news reports of loonies shooting each other after being cut up...

[Ray Luxury-Yacht]

Lol, I definitely agree!

However, a cheaper and easier solution, which has already been mentioned before:

No more seatbelts, airbags or safety aids in cars. Plus: the driver is surrounded by huge, sharp spikes. A massive one protruding from the centre of the steering wheel, several down the inside of the doors, some more mounted along the centre console by the gearstick, and finally a selection along the top of the seat, under the head restraint, at neck height.

That would sort things out overnight.

[Blakewater]

The idiots will be equally armed to enforce their perceived right to shove through, like this guy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhJ20Z4eB28

[23rdian]

Drivers like the OP taking every little indiscretion personally instead of just chilling out and enjoying making progress in whatever way you have to.

That said commuting is a load of baw bags.

Edited by 23rdian on Monday 15th September 22:49