Wife is a menace on the road...what to do?
Discussion
Now, I've got to keep this one quiet...and if you drop me in it, Steve!
My wife has never been a good driver.
Our first argument ever, before we got married nearly 25 years ago was when, despite my advice that she was driving too close to the walls down a narrow Spanish village street, she whacked the side of the hire car against the wall of someone's house.
Yet within the above sentence lies another problem...She never takes any advice kindly. Rather, she always perceive advice (however humbly given and well intentioned) as a personal insult and slight to her very persona.
Travelling with her behind the wheel has never been a pleasant experience. Even on long journeys you'll most definitely be constantly fighting the urge to go to sleep lest seven years later you wake-up from a coma...or worse...don't wake up at all.
However, steadily over the years, it seems to be getting worse. Earlier "unease" has more recently become a white-knuckled experience on virtually every trip.
Finally, I foolishly decided to accompany her on a short 4 mile, night drive, up the fast-moving A5 to the supermarket the other night. It was absolutely horrific!
On that one short journey (at completely excessive speed for both her ability and prevailing road conditions, I might add!) she managed to:
1) Scare the living daylights out of me by braking and swerving the full width of the car, at the last second, just to avoid a rabbit in the road...with fast-moving cars right behind her.
2) Scare the living daylights out of me by constantly driving far too close to, or even over, the crown of the road (a persistent habit). So far in fact that one could actually see from the passenger seat that the gap she leaves on the near side would actually be wide enough to drive a car through to 'undertake her...a single lane road!
This is with oncoming headlights coming towards us at National Speed Limit Speeds. Thus, the minimum impact speed would be at least 120mph.
3) Scare the living daylights out of me by pulling out on to a roundabout right out in front of someone already clearly on it to her right. How the bloke managed to slow down so fast as not to T-bone her is to his credit. One only needed rudimentary lip-reading skills to understand the explitives he was hurling!
Now, in fairness to her, she did have an undiagnosed astigmatism as a child and has very poor eyesight in one eye and so this must clearly be impacting on her binocular vision and hence depth/distance perception.
Secondly, she has never seemed to have very good hand to eye co-ordination. You know the kind of person that is absolutely hopeless at any kind of computer game?
Thirdly, she seems to have very poor spacial awareness. Might be linked to the above two? I mean, I don't know about you but I reckon most people, if they see their spouse/partner coming towards them in their car, on a fairly empty road won't fail to notice them? I always notice her. She rarely sees me!
By the end of the other night's Rollercoaster experience I was thinking to myself: "Jeez...this isn't even remotely funny anymore. This is damn serious and bloody dangerous for her, other occupants and other road users!!!"
Other common and dangerous faults are:
A) Persistently driving too fast for her skills (held the record for the slowest lap ever at our local karting track); the road conditions (wet or dry makes absolutely no difference to her) or the car (old Merc 124 E320 Estate...fastish car but not very agile).
B) Driving far too close to vehicles in front and braking very late and harshly such that in the intervening few seconds one sits and wonders: "Is she going to brake at all?......BRAKE!!!!!
C) Driving on the crown of the road as we've already mentioned.
D) Persistently cutting corners on right turns across Give Way junctions. If someone was actually just coming up to the junction intending to "Give Way" at the double white lines they'd have the nose of their car sliced off.
E) Loads of other stuff
But what should I do?
At the time, I felt like reporting her to the police myself! Seems a little drastic?
Book her some driving lessons for her birthday? A bit unromantic for her 50th? Still...I did buy her a wheel-barrow for her 40th!
Book her a course with the IAM for her birthday? Ditto above?
Pray?
Many thanks in advance for advice!
My wife has never been a good driver.
Our first argument ever, before we got married nearly 25 years ago was when, despite my advice that she was driving too close to the walls down a narrow Spanish village street, she whacked the side of the hire car against the wall of someone's house.
Yet within the above sentence lies another problem...She never takes any advice kindly. Rather, she always perceive advice (however humbly given and well intentioned) as a personal insult and slight to her very persona.
Travelling with her behind the wheel has never been a pleasant experience. Even on long journeys you'll most definitely be constantly fighting the urge to go to sleep lest seven years later you wake-up from a coma...or worse...don't wake up at all.
However, steadily over the years, it seems to be getting worse. Earlier "unease" has more recently become a white-knuckled experience on virtually every trip.
Finally, I foolishly decided to accompany her on a short 4 mile, night drive, up the fast-moving A5 to the supermarket the other night. It was absolutely horrific!
On that one short journey (at completely excessive speed for both her ability and prevailing road conditions, I might add!) she managed to:
1) Scare the living daylights out of me by braking and swerving the full width of the car, at the last second, just to avoid a rabbit in the road...with fast-moving cars right behind her.
2) Scare the living daylights out of me by constantly driving far too close to, or even over, the crown of the road (a persistent habit). So far in fact that one could actually see from the passenger seat that the gap she leaves on the near side would actually be wide enough to drive a car through to 'undertake her...a single lane road!
This is with oncoming headlights coming towards us at National Speed Limit Speeds. Thus, the minimum impact speed would be at least 120mph.
3) Scare the living daylights out of me by pulling out on to a roundabout right out in front of someone already clearly on it to her right. How the bloke managed to slow down so fast as not to T-bone her is to his credit. One only needed rudimentary lip-reading skills to understand the explitives he was hurling!
Now, in fairness to her, she did have an undiagnosed astigmatism as a child and has very poor eyesight in one eye and so this must clearly be impacting on her binocular vision and hence depth/distance perception.
Secondly, she has never seemed to have very good hand to eye co-ordination. You know the kind of person that is absolutely hopeless at any kind of computer game?
Thirdly, she seems to have very poor spacial awareness. Might be linked to the above two? I mean, I don't know about you but I reckon most people, if they see their spouse/partner coming towards them in their car, on a fairly empty road won't fail to notice them? I always notice her. She rarely sees me!
By the end of the other night's Rollercoaster experience I was thinking to myself: "Jeez...this isn't even remotely funny anymore. This is damn serious and bloody dangerous for her, other occupants and other road users!!!"
Other common and dangerous faults are:
A) Persistently driving too fast for her skills (held the record for the slowest lap ever at our local karting track); the road conditions (wet or dry makes absolutely no difference to her) or the car (old Merc 124 E320 Estate...fastish car but not very agile).
B) Driving far too close to vehicles in front and braking very late and harshly such that in the intervening few seconds one sits and wonders: "Is she going to brake at all?......BRAKE!!!!!
C) Driving on the crown of the road as we've already mentioned.
D) Persistently cutting corners on right turns across Give Way junctions. If someone was actually just coming up to the junction intending to "Give Way" at the double white lines they'd have the nose of their car sliced off.
E) Loads of other stuff
But what should I do?
At the time, I felt like reporting her to the police myself! Seems a little drastic?
Book her some driving lessons for her birthday? A bit unromantic for her 50th? Still...I did buy her a wheel-barrow for her 40th!
Book her a course with the IAM for her birthday? Ditto above?
Pray?
Many thanks in advance for advice!
derin100 said:
I did buy her a wheel-barrow for her 40th!
A true romantic But on a serious note, my mother was very much the same. Any sort of advise was taking as a complete insult, and like you were making a personal attack at her.
Me ended up getting her a convertible as she had always wanted one, and decided to make it an auto. Hopefully, by having an auto she would have less to do so would be easier. Also by getting the car she wanted, and the fact it was brand new helped, she was more careful as was worried about her pride and joy.
Don't get me wrong, she's still not great. I always get a sweat on when in the car. I just have to remind myself she's been driving for 30 years without an accident so she must be doing something right.
ScoobyChris said:
derin100 said:
Book her a course with the IAM for her birthday? Ditto above?
If neither of you have done it, why not both sign up and have a bit of friendly competition 
Chris
The suggestion of buying her the convertible also very good...but I did already make this offer for her birthday and she's already declined.
RGambo said:
How long has she been driving? How many accidents/RTI's has she been involved in?
Well, this is the slightly "sticky" one. She's been driving for 25 years and has actually only had two accidents (God knows how!) and both were minor. One not even her fault (she maintains) about 18 years ago when someone went into the back of her newly restored BMW 2002; and then another about 8 years ago when she REVERSED into someone at a "Give Way" junction! 
The problem is that this does indeed, on paper at least, make my contention that she is a lethal driver a little difficult to sustain? However, the truth of the matter is that one can't help thinking that this seemingly "not bad batting-average" is actually only hiding something that probability suggestions could soon turn into a calamitous "Big One" !
They're all like that. Mine is magnetised to potholes, can't reverse and forgets to change gear 90% of the time so we're either having our bones rattled at 20mph in fifth gear or having our eardrums perforated at 70mph in second gear. Comments simply result in me being called a 
. Just make sure they have a car of their own to destroy and keep yours to yourself to look after.
Also I forgot to mention one of the most annoying things: To women a brake pedal is an on/ off switch.
. Just make sure they have a car of their own to destroy and keep yours to yourself to look after.Also I forgot to mention one of the most annoying things: To women a brake pedal is an on/ off switch.
Just browsing the IAM website....
I found this:
http://www.iam.org.uk/drivers/motorists-courses/dr...
Good for her 50th? With the inscription on the inside of the card: "Sorry...but I've been trying to tell you nicely for years! Many Happy Returns! XXX"
I found this:
http://www.iam.org.uk/drivers/motorists-courses/dr...
Good for her 50th? With the inscription on the inside of the card: "Sorry...but I've been trying to tell you nicely for years! Many Happy Returns! XXX"
Mercury00 said:
They're all like that. Mine is magnetised to potholes, can't reverse and forgets to change gear 90% of the time so we're either having our bones rattled at 20mph in fifth gear or having our eardrums perforated at 70mph in second gear. Comments simply result in me being called a . Just make sure they have a car of their own to destroy and keep yours to yourself to look after.
Also I forgot to mention one of the most annoying things: To women a brake pedal is an on/ off switch.
Yes! I generally now give her "her car" and long as it goes I try not to look at it too hard or be precious about it.. Just make sure they have a car of their own to destroy and keep yours to yourself to look after.Also I forgot to mention one of the most annoying things: To women a brake pedal is an on/ off switch.
Similar to your wife's attraction to pot-holes (mine doesn't even notice those) and actually in a reverse of my wife's attraction to the white lines running up the middle of the road she does also not infrequent like to skim the brambles and hedge-rows on the nearside of country lanes....then deny all knowledge of how all those scratches ended up along the car the next time I come to wash it for her!
I can't remember the exact excuse given but it was something as ridiculously improbable along the lines of: " A tractor was parked next to me in the car-park carrying twigs. He must have done it!"
The Crack Fox said:
Mine is the same. Knows it all, drives like a complete psycho all the time, everywhere. She refuses to even listen to gentle suggestions. She once argued that the posted speed limit "is the recommended speed limit". She uses lift-off oversteer with the kids in the car when driving an MPV. I honestly wish she'd pick up a dozen points as I've no idea how else to get through to her!
1. Buy one of these: http://www.cam-shop-online.com/Mycrocam/
2. Install it in the car saying it's an air-freshener.
3. Record one or two of her journeys.
4. Play them back to her asking her to "come and look at how bad this muppet's driving is".
5. When she agrees it's appalling, point out the twist! Dun dun DUN.....
Seriously though, if she's as bad as you've said, she's a serious danger to herself, not just others, so you could try using the emotional blackmail angle of not wanting her to get hurt.
2. Install it in the car saying it's an air-freshener.
3. Record one or two of her journeys.
4. Play them back to her asking her to "come and look at how bad this muppet's driving is".
5. When she agrees it's appalling, point out the twist! Dun dun DUN.....
Seriously though, if she's as bad as you've said, she's a serious danger to herself, not just others, so you could try using the emotional blackmail angle of not wanting her to get hurt.
Centurion07 said:
1. Buy one of these: http://www.cam-shop-online.com/Mycrocam/
2. Install it in the car saying it's an air-freshener.
3. Record one or two of her journeys.
4. Play them back to her asking her to "come and look at how bad this muppet's driving is".
5. When she agrees it's appalling, point out the twist! Dun dun DUN.....
Seriously though, if she's as bad as you've said, she's a serious danger to herself, not just others, so you could try using the emotional blackmail angle of not wanting her to get hurt.
LMAO!!!2. Install it in the car saying it's an air-freshener.
3. Record one or two of her journeys.
4. Play them back to her asking her to "come and look at how bad this muppet's driving is".
5. When she agrees it's appalling, point out the twist! Dun dun DUN.....
Seriously though, if she's as bad as you've said, she's a serious danger to herself, not just others, so you could try using the emotional blackmail angle of not wanting her to get hurt.
But the serious side is very true as well. Good way of approaching it! Thanks.
derin100 said:
Well, this is the slightly "sticky" one. She's been driving for 25 years and has actually only had two accidents (God knows how!) and both were minor. One not even her fault (she maintains) about 18 years ago when someone went into the back of her newly restored BMW 2002; and then another about 8 years ago when she REVERSED into someone at a "Give Way" junction!
The problem is that this does indeed, on paper at least, make my contention that she is a lethal driver a little difficult to sustain? However, the truth of the matter is that one can't help thinking that this seemingly "not bad batting-average" is actually only hiding something that probability suggestions could soon turn into a calamitous "Big One" !
And the Spanish one ...The problem is that this does indeed, on paper at least, make my contention that she is a lethal driver a little difficult to sustain? However, the truth of the matter is that one can't help thinking that this seemingly "not bad batting-average" is actually only hiding something that probability suggestions could soon turn into a calamitous "Big One" !
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