Wife is a menace on the road...what to do?
Discussion
schuey said:
...if anything was to happen we would both be passengers due to her lack of car control, general aggressiveness and constant speeding.
Has anyone else noticed this more frequent of late from female drivers on the road.Usually the 30-50 age group, very aggressive but also lacking any modicum of awareness or car control. Bad combination. I also get the impression that vision is centred to the end of the bonnet, rather than ahead in the road and that the accelerator/brake is a binary control!
Best of luck OP! My gf is actually quite a decent driver but since moving to London (from Scotland) she has got rid of her car as it's surplus to requirements.
VonSenger said:
I would do something before the f
king mong kills someone. As a bike rider, this is the sort of nightmare I dread coming across.
Any need for this? king mong kills someone. As a bike rider, this is the sort of nightmare I dread coming across.
My Mrs is actually a very good driver, but the OP's Mrs sounds like my mum.
She has always said that I drive too fast (brisk acceleration), but that she still feels safe and comfortable in the car.
She accelerates at an average rate, but far too close to the car in front, and leaves braking so late that im jabbing for a brake pedal in the passenger footwell. She also uses a progressive braking technique all the time, basically standing on the brakes as we bear down on the car in front, rather than killing speed early and coming off the brakes for comfort/economy as you approach the stationary car.
She has never been involved in an accident with another vehicle, but has hit two traffic island's avoiding dogs/cats.
She is confident around town, in areas that she knows, but easily panicked on the motorway/new areas, leading to erratic braking/Lane changing.
Now I can't really say much, as I've been involved in various collisions in my comparatively short time driving, none due to driving too fast, and only one major fault incident when I fell asleep at the wheel.
The fact I've been involved in more incidents means she won't listen to my driving advice, even though I'm a professional driver, have been for the past 3 years, and I take a huge personal interest in driving, and doing it well.
I now simply refuse to be driven by her as I can drive, and she can passenger.
My mrs on the other hand is such a skilled driver that she intentionally scares me, but it tends to be with sideways antics on wet roundabouts whilst I'm following for whatever reason...
"oh st she's lost it! "...
" nice one she saved it! "
Later
Me: " that was a bit of a moment on that roundabout, you need to watch that lift off oversteer babe... "
Her: " thought you might like that, I love that roundabout! "
She's very safe with little man in the car, but she's a menace for other reasons than lack of skill when she's out without him.
She has always said that I drive too fast (brisk acceleration), but that she still feels safe and comfortable in the car.
She accelerates at an average rate, but far too close to the car in front, and leaves braking so late that im jabbing for a brake pedal in the passenger footwell. She also uses a progressive braking technique all the time, basically standing on the brakes as we bear down on the car in front, rather than killing speed early and coming off the brakes for comfort/economy as you approach the stationary car.
She has never been involved in an accident with another vehicle, but has hit two traffic island's avoiding dogs/cats.
She is confident around town, in areas that she knows, but easily panicked on the motorway/new areas, leading to erratic braking/Lane changing.
Now I can't really say much, as I've been involved in various collisions in my comparatively short time driving, none due to driving too fast, and only one major fault incident when I fell asleep at the wheel.
The fact I've been involved in more incidents means she won't listen to my driving advice, even though I'm a professional driver, have been for the past 3 years, and I take a huge personal interest in driving, and doing it well.
I now simply refuse to be driven by her as I can drive, and she can passenger.
My mrs on the other hand is such a skilled driver that she intentionally scares me, but it tends to be with sideways antics on wet roundabouts whilst I'm following for whatever reason...
"oh s
t she's lost it! "..." nice one she saved it! "
Later
Me: " that was a bit of a moment on that roundabout, you need to watch that lift off oversteer babe... "
Her: " thought you might like that, I love that roundabout! "
She's very safe with little man in the car, but she's a menace for other reasons than lack of skill when she's out without him.
There is some good advice here about getting some independent feedback for your wife and good luck with making some progress with that! It sounds like an eye test should be first thing to do.
If you don't have any luck with making progress based on the guidance already given, the next, more aggressive option for me would be getting some film of her driving and see if you can get a friendly police officer to come and chat to her. Hearing from the police how certain of her driving acts are unsafe and/or grounds for a driving conviction might help her be convinced that she needs some tuition.
I would assume the local IAM probably have police contacts for this sort of thing?
Good luck!
If you don't have any luck with making progress based on the guidance already given, the next, more aggressive option for me would be getting some film of her driving and see if you can get a friendly police officer to come and chat to her. Hearing from the police how certain of her driving acts are unsafe and/or grounds for a driving conviction might help her be convinced that she needs some tuition.
I would assume the local IAM probably have police contacts for this sort of thing?
Good luck!
I'm in the same boat
My wife scares me meaning I drive pretty much all the time , no point splitting the driving on long trips as its too stressful for me
My wife consistently knocks the front and rear corners off our cars , EVERY car she has driven for even a short period of time gets damaged bumpers
She kerbed all four brand new wheels I fitted to her car in 3 weeks
She reverses and whilst the car is still moving backwards selects 1st and pulls away. 1) Its bad for the clutch 2) It means the reverse sensors switch off which is how she managed to drive into my Skyline and other objects like a fire escape recently!
She has no forward planning and her speed fluctuates between 60 and 90 leptons so she cant understand why she only gets 44mpg and I get 54mpg when I drive her car.
She never checks anything , oil, water, tyres nothing.
She has no lane control on roundabouts so straight lines them all the time.
My wife scares me meaning I drive pretty much all the time , no point splitting the driving on long trips as its too stressful for me
My wife consistently knocks the front and rear corners off our cars , EVERY car she has driven for even a short period of time gets damaged bumpers
She kerbed all four brand new wheels I fitted to her car in 3 weeks
She reverses and whilst the car is still moving backwards selects 1st and pulls away. 1) Its bad for the clutch 2) It means the reverse sensors switch off which is how she managed to drive into my Skyline and other objects like a fire escape recently!
She has no forward planning and her speed fluctuates between 60 and 90 leptons so she cant understand why she only gets 44mpg and I get 54mpg when I drive her car.
She never checks anything , oil, water, tyres nothing.
She has no lane control on roundabouts so straight lines them all the time.
Suggest an eye test straight away (as subtly as possible!). Out of interest when was the last one?
Last time I had my eyes tested I also had a peripheral vision test, so see if that can be done as well.
I don't believe there is any way you can raise this after the event, as it were. Either point out the issues as they're happening (is there a cyclist I can't see on the inside of you etc.) or keep quiet. It either sounds like she really can't see (worrying) or is so under-confident that you pointing things out will only make it worse.
How long ago did she pass her test?
Last time I had my eyes tested I also had a peripheral vision test, so see if that can be done as well.
I don't believe there is any way you can raise this after the event, as it were. Either point out the issues as they're happening (is there a cyclist I can't see on the inside of you etc.) or keep quiet. It either sounds like she really can't see (worrying) or is so under-confident that you pointing things out will only make it worse.
How long ago did she pass her test?
OP ,order one of these with your wife's picture on, put it on and drive towards a speed camera 4 times.
http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Personalised-Quality-Fac...
http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Personalised-Quality-Fac...
I've always been uncomfortable in a car with my mother.
Every single journey involves an argument because of this. It's not that she drives too fast/slow/close/far, it's that she seemingly doesn't have the capacity to a) think ahead and b) react when something she hasn't planned for happens.
And she's always bloody fiddling with something! Watch the fking road, you can fix the air-con when you're stopped!
For road-users on the outside it's probably less of an issue other than the sudden stops when she panics about something she didn't see coming.
I always thought i'd grow used to it, but i never have.
Every single journey involves an argument because of this. It's not that she drives too fast/slow/close/far, it's that she seemingly doesn't have the capacity to a) think ahead and b) react when something she hasn't planned for happens.
And she's always bloody fiddling with something! Watch the f
king road, you can fix the air-con when you're stopped! For road-users on the outside it's probably less of an issue other than the sudden stops when she panics about something she didn't see coming.
I always thought i'd grow used to it, but i never have.
Lot of sexist rubbish in this thread.
I don't know many people of any sex who take crit of their driving well.
My OH is terrible and we have regular arguments but she was taught to drive by her parents who scare the st out of me.
She at least admits that she's bad and has improved over the years.
I don't know many people of any sex who take crit of their driving well.
My OH is terrible and we have regular arguments but she was taught to drive by her parents who scare the s
t out of me.She at least admits that she's bad and has improved over the years.
derin100 said:
Well, this is the slightly "sticky" one. She's been driving for 25 years and has actually only had two accidents (God knows how!) and both were minor. One not even her fault (she maintains)
Reminds me of my maternal grandmother. Rarely had an accident but always left a trail of carnage, near misses, and swerving / swearing / sweating / white-knuckled drivers in her rear-view mirror. 
Pesty said:
Welcome to my world.
Motorway.
Me all cars in front are braking
Her I know( still accelerating)
Me well ease off then
Her I know
Me start braking
Her I know
Me well do it then
Her yes
Me fking stop
Her emergency stop
Normal roads
Me lights red
Her I know
Me slow down then
Her I know.
Me faking stop stop now!!!!!!!! Brake brake brake
Her what? (Sails through red light ) What you on about about don't shout at me.
This is the first thing that came to my mind upon reading your post:Motorway.
Me all cars in front are braking
Her I know( still accelerating)
Me well ease off then
Her I know
Me start braking
Her I know
Me well do it then
Her yes
Me f
king stopHer emergency stop
Normal roads
Me lights red
Her I know
Me slow down then
Her I know.
Me faking stop stop now!!!!!!!! Brake brake brake
Her what? (Sails through red light ) What you on about about don't shout at me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4ZmolZCnX8
ETA...I found it hilarious!
Edited by OdramaSwimLaden on Tuesday 23 September 12:00
My girlfriend treats every control on her car as digital. Steering? Either full left or full right. Clutch/brakes/throttle are on or off. It even extends to the cliamte control. I've tried explaining to her that if she leaves the climate set at 21°C it'll either warm the car up or cool it down and it'll do that as fast as it can. She has all HVAC controls off unless she's cold then it's full blast hot and vice versa.
It's fking infuriating.
It's f
king infuriating.OdramaSwimLaden said:
This is the first thing that came to my mind upon reading your post:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4ZmolZCnX8
ETA...I found it hilarious!
What an idiot. Even if he had his foot on the clutch thinking it was a break (which is idiotic enough), surely you can see and feel the car not braking. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4ZmolZCnX8
ETA...I found it hilarious!
Edited by OdramaSwimLaden on Tuesday 23 September 12:00
derin100 said:
Now, in fairness to her, she did have an undiagnosed astigmatism as a child and has very poor eyesight in one eye and so this must clearly be impacting on her binocular vision and hence depth/distance perception.
Secondly, she has never seemed to have very good hand to eye co-ordination. You know the kind of person that is absolutely hopeless at any kind of computer game?
Thirdly, she seems to have very poor spacial awareness. Might be linked to the above two? I mean, I don't know about you but I reckon most people, if they see their spouse/partner coming towards them in their car, on a fairly empty road won't fail to notice them? I always notice her. She rarely sees me!
Nothing to do with it, I am totally blind in my right eye & it only affects my driving very slightly, have two friends who also drive with one eye, one has driven many thousands of miles around Europe in motorhomes & also used to race bikes many years ago.Secondly, she has never seemed to have very good hand to eye co-ordination. You know the kind of person that is absolutely hopeless at any kind of computer game?
Thirdly, she seems to have very poor spacial awareness. Might be linked to the above two? I mean, I don't know about you but I reckon most people, if they see their spouse/partner coming towards them in their car, on a fairly empty road won't fail to notice them? I always notice her. She rarely sees me!
FussyFez said:
My mrs on the other hand is such a skilled driver that she intentionally scares me, but it tends to be with sideways antics on wet roundabouts whilst I'm following for whatever reason...
"oh st she's lost it! "...
" nice one she saved it! "
Later
Me: " that was a bit of a moment on that roundabout, you need to watch that lift off oversteer babe... "
Her: " thought you might like that, I love that roundabout! "
Definitely got a keeper there! "oh s
t she's lost it! "..." nice one she saved it! "
Later
Me: " that was a bit of a moment on that roundabout, you need to watch that lift off oversteer babe... "
Her: " thought you might like that, I love that roundabout! "
TooLateForAName said:
Lot of sexist rubbish in this thread.
Absolutely. My wife and my mum are both excellent drivers. I have a male cousin who is dreadful (but at least he knows it).He's a professor too, but the ability to drive half decently is a step too far for him. Just shockingly bad.
Snollygoster said:
OdramaSwimLaden said:
This is the first thing that came to my mind upon reading your post:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4ZmolZCnX8
ETA...I found it hilarious!
What an idiot. Even if he had his foot on the clutch thinking it was a break (which is idiotic enough), surely you can see and feel the car not braking. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4ZmolZCnX8
ETA...I found it hilarious!
In an effort to be as kind to the guy as possible, I'd imagine if he was a bit nervous, going a bit quick in an unfamiliar car and upon pressing the 'brake' pedal he got little to no resistance and the car carried on unhindered, he was possibly a little panicked and very much when into a bit of an autopilot situation.
Now, do I still think he's an utter plum? Why yes sir, yes I do
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