Am I being a selfish b@$&%£d?

[anonymous-user]

I have a 6 month old daughter, the very last thing i would want to do at the weekend is tt about in a sports car given I see her for an hour or so each day during the week. The first year of fatherhood is tough but amazing, cherish it, dont sit there in years to come regretting that you missed it just to drive around in a fast car.

[anonymous-user]

SickFish said:

here are the bullet points:

• SickFish wants to spunk £5-6k on nice weekend car, Mrs is resistant
• Can I convince Mrs that the Polo GTi is a good family-wagon
• What should I buy?
• Am I a selfish bd and submit financially to the Mrs to buy six grand's worth of hooker slap

The point's probably been made already (CBA to read the entire thread), but your question isn't about money. It's about time.

Once littlefish arrives, you simply will not comprehend how much free time you have right now compared to what you will have post littlefish. By all means spend 5-6k on a weekend car if that floats your boat, but be prepared to spend most weekends wondering "where the fk did those two days go?" and wondering why you have a 5-6k very pretty paperweight on the drive/in the garage.

Personally, I'd sit tight for the time being and see how you get on with the Polo. Chances are you;ll find that you want something bigger: so the important car purchase will be post-arrival. As a data point, pre the arrival of 66 major we moved from a 3 series couple to a 3 series saloon thinking that would be sensible, avoid twisting and reaching into the rear to secure child seats etc. Expensive mistake: we binned the saloon two months after 66 major arrived for something bigger (an A8).

I know you *can* travel light with a small baby, and get a lot in a small car, but the reality is that not that many people do so in real life. There's a good reason XC90s and the like are popular with families.

Edited by anonymous-user on Wednesday 22 October 11:34

[james_gt3rs]

BMW M5 as the only car? Much more comfortable than the Polo, safer too?

[SickFish]

james_gt3rs said:

BMW M5 as the only car? Much more comfortable than the Polo, safer too?

This had crossed my mind....

[sparkyhx]

sorry - selfish, does have to be a joint thing, but there needs to e a him+her element -

+ put it into an ISA for the sprog to set them off when they go to car/Uni/first house.

As with all ne parents the advice I give is "the first 18 years are the worst - after that they just get more expensive".

Having said that I have a second fun/track car which is 'mine' but its always been bought with 4 seats so everyone can enjoy, and wifey has always agreed.

[ClaphamGT3]

I've focused spend on new cars into fast family cars - RS6 then an E63; as others have said, it works well for all.

OP, I don't think the issue for you is (immediate) affordability but more about managing your wife. I would suggest that immediately pre 1st nipper is not the time to plant the seed that you're going to be selfish - however rationally unfair that may be. Now is the time for playing the long game; being accommodating now will win big brownie points for later.

Finally, the family books sound like they are balancing now but don't underestimate the resilience needed when junior(s) come along - think a perfect storm of;
Wife not going back to work
Difficult second pregnancy requiring an au pair/nanny for junior#1
Realisation that your local state schools aren't all that followed by a decision to go independent
Appetite for bigger house/radical re-configuration of existing to better suit a growing family
A couple of duff years at work leading to bonuses not being all that

It's your call and you know your personal circumstances best but, if it were me, I'd be sticking the £6k into my rainy-day pot

[boyse7en]

Get a big car. A very big car. With a big boot.

You can get a lot in a small car, but you have to pack it in carefully and efficiently to fit it all. This is not good when you are in a hurry (you will nearly always be running late when you've got a baby), it's pissing with rain, or you need to get the weekly shop in the back (packs of nappies are huge) along with a pram. with a big ca you can open up the boot and just sling it in and worry about it later.

A two-seat sportscar is likely to be a waste of time. I built a Tiger Cat well before my kids were born, and it hasn't turned a wheel in over five years now. I can't remember the last time me and the missus were alone without the kids during the weekend.

[Deerfoot]

pablo said:

I have a 6 month old daughter, the very last thing i would want to do at the weekend is tt about in a sports car given I see her for an hour or so each day during the week. The first year of fatherhood is tough but amazing, cherish it, dont sit there in years to come regretting that you missed it just to drive around in a fast car.

Absolutely this. My priorities changed massively post the arrival of my kids.

[duffy78]

she has said "it's your money, it's up to you"




I don't consider myself the font of all womanly knowledge but I do know what the above phrase actually means.

[AndStilliRise]

SickFish said:

This had crossed my mind....

How would you feel if a guy in a S2000 hit the Polo with your wife and kid inside?

Remember wife and kids are a 20 year investment, they are in your care. Do a good job.

M5 E39, you will love it only if you are good with a spanner!

Mine broke down last year and no garage would touch it (BMW wanted 2k). Fixed it myself in the end for about £300, learned a little about car mechanics didnt have any experience before.

www.m5board.com

[V8 FOU]

OK.
I have never had kids of my own, nor am I likely to at 60. I have had some experience of relations sprogs etc.

Now, what I do not understand is why when some one has a baby "Gawd I hate the use of baby as a name, 'what about Baby?' Yuck! It is A baby.." anyway, why does one suddenly NEED a large SUV etc? Folk used to manage OK when there was no such thing, and a large car was a Ford Zodiac etc. I know you need to take a supply of nappies etc but Really?

Jeez, the OP wants to buy his toy. The Missus isn't aggrieved about it. If push comes to shove financially or otherwise, sell it. He has had the experience.

Last point. I am sure having a sprog is a great, if expensive, experience. But, shirley, why do people suddenly sublimate their whole life into this? It is possible to have a life in parallel with kids. Just takes some planning.

[daemon]

SickFish said:

You haven't read the whole thread have you....? If you scroll up the page 4 or 5 posts you may change your stance

Had skimmed. I'll delete my post and reread.

Sorry

[aww999]

You will be lucky to earn 3% before tax on your 6k if you stick it in the bank. Buy whatever you want with it, as long as it won't be expensive to run (depreciation is the main issue here) - you can enjoy using a car far more than watching eight quid a month of interest roll in, and if you ever need the 6k back just sell it.

[alangla]

aww999 said:

You will be lucky to earn 3% before tax on your 6k if you stick it in the bank. Buy whatever you want with it, as long as it won't be expensive to run (depreciation is the main issue here) - you can enjoy using a car far more than watching eight quid a month of interest roll in, and if you ever need the 6k back just sell it.

I agree with this - flog the Polo & get a Focus ST, Fast Fords generally hold their value reasonably well so you should be able to shift it on without too much trouble. If you get a 5 door then it should be fairly practical.

[swisstoni]

I think the simplest thing is if the OP hangs onto 'his' money until after the child is born and then sees how he feels about things priority-wise.

[WinstonWolf]

SickFish said:

After actually sitting down with the Mrs last night and talking about this (the "selfish bd" bit is semi in jest... she is actually pretty decent as far as women go )

The option that I get the feeling she prefers is the best of two worlds.....

Spend a small percentage of the money on a nice sports bike, she hates the things but knows I desperately miss being out on two wheels, and then bank the remainder of the money for any unforeseen eventualities or a properly nice holiday when our lil'un is a little bigger.

It's worth noting that she has said "it's your money, it's up to you" but I think the bike is the best option for US because as hard as I fight it I know that I do need to start considering my family more than ever

Not very fitting with the "SWT" "smash her backdoors in" etc PH mantra but hey.... least then we are all happy.... And as a side note, I felt her kick properly last night....

..... heads off to PH classifieds

Edited by SickFish on Wednesday 22 October 10:41

I wouldn't get anything too sporty. The first time you go to get your knee down after the kiddy is born you'll hear the words "where's Daddy" and you won't be able to nail it any more

[TheAngryDog]

E39 M5. Most things to most men. Big, safe, pretty practical despite folding rear seats being a rare option, quick enough to keep you happy and I believe some came with isofix.

[SeanyD]

Plenty of fast family friendly cars to choose from, I ran a megane F1 230 R26 when our girl was first born, massive boot, and very very quick for (the odd) weekend hoonage.

[SickFish]

WinstonWolf said:

SickFish said:

After actually sitting down with the Mrs last night and talking about this (the "selfish bd" bit is semi in jest... she is actually pretty decent as far as women go )

The option that I get the feeling she prefers is the best of two worlds.....

Spend a small percentage of the money on a nice sports bike, she hates the things but knows I desperately miss being out on two wheels, and then bank the remainder of the money for any unforeseen eventualities or a properly nice holiday when our lil'un is a little bigger.

It's worth noting that she has said "it's your money, it's up to you" but I think the bike is the best option for US because as hard as I fight it I know that I do need to start considering my family more than ever

Not very fitting with the "SWT" "smash her backdoors in" etc PH mantra but hey.... least then we are all happy.... And as a side note, I felt her kick properly last night....

..... heads off to PH classifieds

Edited by SickFish on Wednesday 22 October 10:41

I wouldn't get anything too sporty. The first time you go to get your knee down after the kiddy is born you'll hear the words "where's Daddy" and you won't be able to nail it any more

Having gone in order:

• GSXR 600 SRAD (lovely... but looked dated)
• R1 (put simply... too bloody fast...!!!)
• GSXR 750 (pretty much perfection... flickable and has 'enough' grunt but expensive)

But.... I think I would stick with a 600cc sports bike, maybe something from Honda

[anonymous-user]

If we are going down the road of suggesting specific cars, I'll throw this one's hat in the ring (not mine, and no association with it, but it looks in good condition, is a good colour and ticks a few other boxes): http://www.pistonheads.com/classifieds/used-cars/a...