Am I being a selfish b@$&%£d?
Discussion
longblackcoat said:
You asked "am I being a selfish b
d?" and most people have said that to some extent or other, yes, you probably are.
I suspect you didn't want to hear that. Yes, the bills are covered, and yes, you have some spare, but the point that's been made repeatedly is that you'll be short of money for a while (just accept it, it WILL happen and you'll have minimal spare time to play with cars/bikes/whatever.
If you don't want to listen, then why ask the question.
Does anyone ever want to hear their life will change and they will have to give up everything they love d?" and most people have said that to some extent or other, yes, you probably are. I suspect you didn't want to hear that. Yes, the bills are covered, and yes, you have some spare, but the point that's been made repeatedly is that you'll be short of money for a while (just accept it, it WILL happen and you'll have minimal spare time to play with cars/bikes/whatever.
If you don't want to listen, then why ask the question.
I have read the comments and as I have already said; the Mrs and I have come to a mutually agreeable conclusion whereby I spend a percentage of the money on something I sorely miss and the rest gets stashed "for a rainy day"
Why do some people have to comment so abrasively? Its one part of PH I hate.
405dogvan said:
Some people seem to believe that once they have a child they should throw everything they have at that child - money is all that's required to make it everything you want it to be...
Some people believe kids are expensive too - usually the same people who have HD Baby Monitors, toddler Adidas, Recaro Baby Seats and other st which is actually for themselves and not the kid ;0
This all results in a chain of useless sacks of DNA churning-out other useless sacks of DNA who's only purposes is to churn out other... you get the idea.
To avoid that, live a little - buy nice things for yourself - develop as a parent as well as developing your child. We remember the cool things our parents did, we do not remember them eating Ramen noodles and driving a st car just so we could goto a school we hated.
A kid (and a car!) can and will suck-up all the money you want to throw at it - doesn't mean you should do it.
Giving your kid a memorable childhood is as much about you as it is about them tho - remember that and you'll be a lot happier - and so will your kids.
Also - couples need ground rules on who's money is who's because the 'all money is our money' idea will only lead to endless argument. Decide between yourselves what needs to be spent or saved - put money into a pot to fund that and the rest is for whoever earned it to spend on whatever they want.
We have the perfect solution to this one.... We have a joint account that enough gets thrown into to cover all bills etc and whatever is in our personal accounts is "ours" to do what we will with it.Some people believe kids are expensive too - usually the same people who have HD Baby Monitors, toddler Adidas, Recaro Baby Seats and other s
t which is actually for themselves and not the kid ;0This all results in a chain of useless sacks of DNA churning-out other useless sacks of DNA who's only purposes is to churn out other... you get the idea.
To avoid that, live a little - buy nice things for yourself - develop as a parent as well as developing your child. We remember the cool things our parents did, we do not remember them eating Ramen noodles and driving a s
t car just so we could goto a school we hated.A kid (and a car!) can and will suck-up all the money you want to throw at it - doesn't mean you should do it.
Giving your kid a memorable childhood is as much about you as it is about them tho - remember that and you'll be a lot happier - and so will your kids.
Also - couples need ground rules on who's money is who's because the 'all money is our money' idea will only lead to endless argument. Decide between yourselves what needs to be spent or saved - put money into a pot to fund that and the rest is for whoever earned it to spend on whatever they want.
This is less so now that she is on mat leave as her income has now greatly reduced (obviously) so I have had to start giving her some pocket money
Foppo said:
SickFish said:
Okay, back story.... I have a decent home with the Mrs who is pregnant and baby fish is due end of January.
As we are in the final 1/4 I have started casting my eye towards the end of the fiscal year it looks like I will be getting a fairly decent end of year bonus, mainly because I have worked my arse off.
Now... I'm thinking want to spend this bonus money on me... after all, I have earned it! Mrs seems to think otherwise....!
My current car is a 1.6 6N2 Polo GTi (5 door) whilst it can be entertaining it is a far cry of cars I have previously owned:
- DC2 ITR
- RX7 (FD)
- Heavily tuned euro hatches etc
- Various sports bikes
I miss having a "silly" (read: PH-worthy) car and I see having this money at the end of the year as a reward for the long stressful days and nights of working my arse off.
So, would I be entirely selfish to buy a 2nd car for me ideally I would be looking at spending around £5-6k. The Polo would not be the worst "family car" even if it was just for the initial few years while baby is growing up. It is a 5 door, relatively roomy and has been a good reliable motor since I have owned her (gearbox imploding excepted as it was/ is a known fault on the 6N2 gearbox).
There are two options that present themselves:
- Buy a nice car that I can have for weekend and sporadic hoonage
- Buy a sports bike that I can have for weekend and sporadic hoonage (and save a couple grand).
I have always fancied an S2000, I do have a garage and driveway so keeping the two cars would not be an issue, can a decent S2000 be had for the budget? (I am open to other suggestions along this vein).
Or, thinking aloud, can a Caterfield type car be had for that money?
For those that do not want to read all that ^^^^ here are the bullet points:
Didn't read any of the other post.As we are in the final 1/4 I have started casting my eye towards the end of the fiscal year it looks like I will be getting a fairly decent end of year bonus, mainly because I have worked my arse off.
Now... I'm thinking want to spend this bonus money on me... after all, I have earned it! Mrs seems to think otherwise....!
My current car is a 1.6 6N2 Polo GTi (5 door) whilst it can be entertaining it is a far cry of cars I have previously owned:
- DC2 ITR
- RX7 (FD)
- Heavily tuned euro hatches etc
- Various sports bikes
I miss having a "silly" (read: PH-worthy) car and I see having this money at the end of the year as a reward for the long stressful days and nights of working my arse off.
So, would I be entirely selfish to buy a 2nd car for me ideally I would be looking at spending around £5-6k. The Polo would not be the worst "family car" even if it was just for the initial few years while baby is growing up. It is a 5 door, relatively roomy and has been a good reliable motor since I have owned her (gearbox imploding excepted as it was/ is a known fault on the 6N2 gearbox).
There are two options that present themselves:
- Buy a nice car that I can have for weekend and sporadic hoonage
- Buy a sports bike that I can have for weekend and sporadic hoonage (and save a couple grand).
I have always fancied an S2000, I do have a garage and driveway so keeping the two cars would not be an issue, can a decent S2000 be had for the budget? (I am open to other suggestions along this vein).
Or, thinking aloud, can a Caterfield type car be had for that money?
For those that do not want to read all that ^^^^ here are the bullet points:
- SickFish wants to spunk £5-6k on nice weekend car, Mrs is resistant
- Can I convince Mrs that the Polo GTi is a good family-wagon
- What should I buy?
- Am I a selfish bd and submit financially to the Mrs to buy six grand's worth of hooker slap
Any bonus I've ever had at work I always shared with my family.
Maybe not what you want to hear and I've worked the horrible shifts and long hrs over the years.You don't have to submit to anybody she is your Mrs more important than a fancy car.
Stuart70 said:
My sincere apologies if I was one of the people who came across absrasively. I was only intending to relate my experience of having two kids (14 and 12) and having come through a good number of years of being / feeling broke whilst investing for the future to make later years more affluent / "better". I recognise that these were my choices and I am not trying to impose them on you; perhaps merely gently disagreeing with your current priorities purely from my values / perspective.
As this is the internet, I would expect you to disregard them / mock them / do what you want with no further reference to me.
All good fun.
Hi Stuart... It wasn't you don't worry As this is the internet, I would expect you to disregard them / mock them / do what you want with no further reference to me.
All good fun.
It is more the typical PH responses of.... "You are just getting the answers you don't want! to hear!!" and "If you don't listen, why ask?!?" type comments that get my back up.
The question of me being a selfish b
d was in jest, but I thought it raised a fair question and would make for an interesting discussion on here longblackcoat said:
SickFish said:
Stuart70 said:
My sincere apologies if I was one of the people who came across absrasively. I was only intending to relate my experience of having two kids (14 and 12) and having come through a good number of years of being / feeling broke whilst investing for the future to make later years more affluent / "better". I recognise that these were my choices and I am not trying to impose them on you; perhaps merely gently disagreeing with your current priorities purely from my values / perspective.
As this is the internet, I would expect you to disregard them / mock them / do what you want with no further reference to me.
All good fun.
Hi Stuart... It wasn't you don't worry As this is the internet, I would expect you to disregard them / mock them / do what you want with no further reference to me.
All good fun.
It is more the typical PH responses of.... "You are just getting the answers you don't want! to hear!!" and "If you don't listen, why ask?!?" type comments that get my back up.
The question of me being a selfish b
d was in jest, but I thought it raised a fair question and would make for an interesting discussion on here As I said, you've asked the question "Am I being a selfish b
d?"; most (though not all) responses are that you are being precisely that, but that it's your money. You seem a little unwilling to accept that. And at the risk of repeating myself, I have to question the point of posting something up and then arging with the answers posted - YOU started the discussion, so don't be offended at how people choose to take it.
You will then read that WE have come to a mutually agreeable situation, where we are both happy.
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