What have you got away with ?
Discussion
I had a mk2 scirocco which decided to pull its clutch cable through the bulkhead while driving home from uni in Hatfield so I coasted it into a side road and caught a train back to Salisbury to pick up my motorbike. Rode it back to Hatfield and went to the union bar to meet friends (soft drinks only) but afterwards decided to go for a ride as it was a beautiful night. Cue 20 minutes of pootling around - it was so quiet and warm and I wasn't in a rush so i just enjoyed the night and the weather.
I then decided to head back to the house so pootled all the way to the front of uni, where I decided to blow the cobwebs out of the bike and nail it to the redline in a few gears along the NSL that runs out of the front of uni, comfortably into triple figures. Having had my quick fill I let it coast back down to around 40-45, which gave the unmarked silver astra that joined the road just behind me (only other car I'd seen all damn evening) time to catch up and flash his blues
No tax disk. Had bought it on the train while on the way home to collect the bike, but of course hadn't arrived in the post.
Wasn't showing up on MID. It was insured, but document was in the house and I was a mile away.
I was expecting the 'court and ban or 3 points at the roadside, your choice matey' speech and the guy had his hackles up when he got out of the car but as luck would have it they pulled me within sight of my broken down scirocco and I explained the whole shebang - he went "ah yeah, I remember the first ride out of the year. Used to ride bikes but the missus had a go and made me stop, so I took up skydiving instead. Bugger about the car. Now p
s off home and calm down, I don't want to pull you out of the side of a van in a week's time. Night!", hopped in the car and drove off. Couldn't believe my luck.
A story that sticks in my mind of stupid shenanigans was a 2-car road trip involving friends in our late teens. One had a Chrysler Neon and despite being an awful car it had a ski hatch big enough to crawl through, and one of those interior boot safety release handles...
A303, friend in Neon crawls into boot, pops it open and waves at the car following in convoy. Naturally, we teenagers find it hilarious - so much so he goes for the encore. Sadly, the police Volvo which saw the first one and squeezed between us to witness act 2 didn't. They all got a bking, but my what a bking 
I then decided to head back to the house so pootled all the way to the front of uni, where I decided to blow the cobwebs out of the bike and nail it to the redline in a few gears along the NSL that runs out of the front of uni, comfortably into triple figures. Having had my quick fill I let it coast back down to around 40-45, which gave the unmarked silver astra that joined the road just behind me (only other car I'd seen all damn evening) time to catch up and flash his blues
No tax disk. Had bought it on the train while on the way home to collect the bike, but of course hadn't arrived in the post.
Wasn't showing up on MID. It was insured, but document was in the house and I was a mile away.
I was expecting the 'court and ban or 3 points at the roadside, your choice matey' speech and the guy had his hackles up when he got out of the car but as luck would have it they pulled me within sight of my broken down scirocco and I explained the whole shebang - he went "ah yeah, I remember the first ride out of the year. Used to ride bikes but the missus had a go and made me stop, so I took up skydiving instead. Bugger about the car. Now p
s off home and calm down, I don't want to pull you out of the side of a van in a week's time. Night!", hopped in the car and drove off. Couldn't believe my luck.A story that sticks in my mind of stupid shenanigans was a 2-car road trip involving friends in our late teens. One had a Chrysler Neon and despite being an awful car it had a ski hatch big enough to crawl through, and one of those interior boot safety release handles...
A303, friend in Neon crawls into boot, pops it open and waves at the car following in convoy. Naturally, we teenagers find it hilarious - so much so he goes for the encore. Sadly, the police Volvo which saw the first one and squeezed between us to witness act 2 didn't. They all got a b
king, but my what a bking 80 in a 30. Quiet road, no one about apart from the copper parked up down a side road. His exact words were "Your exhaust let me know how fast you were going". Thankfully he didn't have any actual proof of how fast i was going so he left me with "i know it's a nice car but there's a time and a place" and drove off.
This was in my ST24 ('zorst in question was a Sportex de-resonated jobby i got from fleabay) and the other few times i was pulled in it (light out, random check etc) the police seemed to have a soft spot for them.
This was in my ST24 ('zorst in question was a Sportex de-resonated jobby i got from fleabay) and the other few times i was pulled in it (light out, random check etc) the police seemed to have a soft spot for them.
going back 10 years or so when I had ferrets me and a friend had an idea to shoot some rabbits and then give to the ferrets and our parents for pie. Where we stayed we had some large open fields which there was hundreds. So the both of went off at 2am and had shot 5-6 then suddenly a large searchlight appeared on us with the chorus of '' Armed Police stand up and be recognised'' We didn't know the building backing on was the head office of a large bank and two people sneaking about with guns were not a good idea. We never went hunting again.
23 years ago, when I was 17, driving my dad's jag, I was in a 30mph zone, doing 60 overtaking on an amber crossing in the rain with 7 people in the car, tax had just expired and I wasnt insured.
got pulled by a police dog van, got the boll*cking of a lifetime, full-blown hairdryer treatment, apologised until nearly in tears, was told to come back for 2 of my passengers and let go.
Must have been my lucky day.
Never did anything that silly again, would have been jailed if caught doing that now.
got pulled by a police dog van, got the boll*cking of a lifetime, full-blown hairdryer treatment, apologised until nearly in tears, was told to come back for 2 of my passengers and let go.
Must have been my lucky day.
Never did anything that silly again, would have been jailed if caught doing that now.
The roundabout wher ethe A1(M) and the M25 meet is very large. Large enough that you can get a 1.0 Fiesta round it doing 70, so long as you don't mind it being a bit sideways as you're going round. Whilst I didn't mind being sideways at 70 on that roundabout I rather suspect that the traffic cops behind did mind.
Fortunately they seemed far more interested in the little old lady in the Metro who was only doing about 25 round the roundabout, but was going the wrong way.
Fortunately they seemed far more interested in the little old lady in the Metro who was only doing about 25 round the roundabout, but was going the wrong way.
Just after getting my first proper(500cc)bike,(just after my dad allowed me to get one
)I decided to get some motorway experience and visit my sister and her husband who are bike fanatics.
I got to their house and they were still at work,with directions I eventually got there only to find that they had already left,
now I had no way of getting back as the industrial estate was all one way and I entered off a dual carriageway.
I had not a clue as to how to get back to the road let alone across it to go back in the general direction of their house.
To save time I rode my bike between the drop plates on a short one way section on the deserted industrial estate,it was quite late at night and it lead to a proper road.
Un-noticed by my self,the police were driving parallel to me on that road.
They stopped me and asked what I was doing going through them and explained the laws I had broken and the punishment I could face.
Being only 20 at the time I Cheekily told them that I thought the gaps were for bikes at which they both burst into laughter.
Then in a cocky but casual manner I said that everyone round here does it on bikes and I thought it was OK,to which they chewed me over a bit along the line of it not being so.
They then told me to turn around and that then they were going to follow me out of the estate using the correct route.
the place was a maze,I tried to wing it but got lost several times before confessing to what they had by then gathered and had to get them to lead me out,them in fits of proper laughter.
I called my self a about 200 times on the way back that night
)I decided to get some motorway experience and visit my sister and her husband who are bike fanatics.I got to their house and they were still at work,with directions I eventually got there only to find that they had already left,
now I had no way of getting back as the industrial estate was all one way and I entered off a dual carriageway.
I had not a clue as to how to get back to the road let alone across it to go back in the general direction of their house.
To save time I rode my bike between the drop plates on a short one way section on the deserted industrial estate,it was quite late at night and it lead to a proper road.
Un-noticed by my self,the police were driving parallel to me on that road.
They stopped me and asked what I was doing going through them and explained the laws I had broken and the punishment I could face.
Being only 20 at the time I Cheekily told them that I thought the gaps were for bikes at which they both burst into laughter.
Then in a cocky but casual manner I said that everyone round here does it on bikes and I thought it was OK,to which they chewed me over a bit along the line of it not being so.
They then told me to turn around and that then they were going to follow me out of the estate using the correct route.
the place was a maze,I tried to wing it but got lost several times before confessing to what they had by then gathered and had to get them to lead me out,them in fits of proper laughter.
I called my self a
about 200 times on the way back that nightOn one of my silly photography missions in a dodgy part of the world I drove through a no-fire zone and out the other side in a crappy hire car quite obviously registered in an aread of the country that meant we would be anything but well received. I was after some photos of a downed light commerical aircraft and had passed three unmanned unmanned checkpoints before being hasitly surrounded by soldiers pointing G3A7's at each window of the car. I Somehow managed to gestre myself out of it despite none of them speaking English. My girlfriend was pretty scared but it was all seriously exciting.
Looking back it was a bit dicey!
Looking back it was a bit dicey!
3 figures infront of an unmarked car. Some volvo overtook at speed me so I put my foot down to see what it was, I passed him, slowed back down, he passed me slowed down, I passed him again and slowed back down and he came roaring past with the blues flashing in the back window. Could've gone very wrong for me that day.
On a very quiet Sunday afternoon I joined the a38 Birmingham ring road from the M6 in my Tvr Tuscan, as I joined there was a Aston Martin DB7 in the outside lane, he slowed slightly and gave me the 'lets have a go wave'. Unable to resist temptation I did and moved in front of him in the outside lane. To my amazement the Tuscan pulled away from it quite easily. As we got to a set of traffic lights which were turning red, I came to a stop, the Aston went straight through.
A car pulled up next to me, I looked to see a unmarked police volvo and police badge staring me back in the face, he wound the window down saying 'I have been trying to keep up with that Aston, if you hadn't have stopped I would have done you as well' and promptly drove off at speed behind it.
Needless to say, I had a steady ride home. My favourite TVR memory.
A car pulled up next to me, I looked to see a unmarked police volvo and police badge staring me back in the face, he wound the window down saying 'I have been trying to keep up with that Aston, if you hadn't have stopped I would have done you as well' and promptly drove off at speed behind it.
Needless to say, I had a steady ride home. My favourite TVR memory.
It was about 11pm in the middle of the city centre (Bristol). I just bought myself some chinese food and I was on my way home, waiting at the traffic lights I spotted white dc5 integra right next to me. I was more than happy to try my st fiesta. Off we went going well over 30 to the next set of lights. After third run i stopped for a red light and he went left. It was pretty good fun until I saw blue lights behind me. I got stopped by 2 Police officers and told to step out of my car. I've been told they were trying to catch up after us since the first set of lights which I found funny (they did not find it funny.. at all) I must admit I wasnt respectful by saying; 'what Honda???' and 'I wasn't racing anyone!' etc. but at the end I did say sorry several times.
After a very long lecture I was basically told not to do it again! At the end I drove off doing 29mph all the way back home and thinking what a idiot I am and that my chinese is probably cold by now. Lesson learned.
After a very long lecture I was basically told not to do it again! At the end I drove off doing 29mph all the way back home and thinking what a idiot I am and that my chinese is probably cold by now. Lesson learned.
A friend and I were pulled for doing wheelies down the dual carriage way, doing around 80mph in a 50.
Pulled us over.......
The Copper recognised me as I was in the Police then and remembered my pretty little face, then he found out my friend was an A&E Doctor..... :-D
"So you pick them up off the road and you put them back together, priceless, right ps off"......
Sadly the same copper busted me for 133mph 2 years later. No humour these traffic cops.
Pulled us over.......
The Copper recognised me as I was in the Police then and remembered my pretty little face, then he found out my friend was an A&E Doctor..... :-D
"So you pick them up off the road and you put them back together, priceless, right p
s off"......Sadly the same copper busted me for 133mph 2 years later. No humour these traffic cops.
XJSJohn said:
having been living and driving in SE asia for the past decade or so, the list is rather long ..... many many cases of paying a RM50 (GBP10) bung to Malaysian bizzies for going 200kph upwards on the north south highway (speed limit 120KPH), riding scooters and motorbikes without lids, racing each other on the Changi Airport link road (911 and a 350z then later 370z and am M5) blatting Harley's with very non standard exhaists around town etc etc etc
most situations are resolved with the application of a few $$$ or some good bullst ...
edit to add, none of the above is big or clever, just the way it is ......
Reminds me of when I was in Indonesia. Wanted to buy some fireworks for a party. Better selection of stuff over there, lots that are illegal here. We were about 70km from the nearest town, 90km from the city. So a guy says 'I'll take you'. most situations are resolved with the application of a few $$$ or some good bulls
t ... edit to add, none of the above is big or clever, just the way it is ......
And he borrowed a motorbike for this. Normally they drive crappy mopeds, but he borrowed a Kawasaki sport bike from someone, which was orange and christened 'the rocket'. It had no wing mirrors (removed for aerodynamics?) and no number plate either (you can get away with that in the village).
We drove to the town doing up to about 100mph with me pillion, wearing shorts t shirt flip flops and no helmet. Arrived and looked at the merchandise. I said 'we need to go to the city, the fireworks here are too small and overpriced.'
So we did, on the outskirts of the city there was always a traffic cop directing traffic, He saw us, me white (rare in Indonesia outside of the main tourist areas) orange sport bike with no helmet or mirrors or licence plate, and shouted 'Hey'. But we were gone. I bought around 50kg of explosives, and luckily the guy riding the motorbike's brother was in town, and he drove me back in his car, it was pouring with rain and no way we could have carried the fireworks back in the bike anyway.
Too many to mention them all really, being polite really does work though...
A couple of good ones.
Coming back from The Ace late one night on my bike, I'd lost touch with Gretch in the M3 so was making progress to catch up. I remember passing a Vectra at around 140 before pulling into a layby to call to see where she was. After the call I jumped back on the bike and pinned it back out onto the A1. Ahead was a car transporter in the inside lane and 2 cars in the outside lane, gaining on the transporter. Being on the bike I nailed it down the inside of the 2 cars and between the front one and the transporter and into the outside lane with loads of room to spare. At least a couple of inches. I knew there was a camera just ahead so rolled off the throttle from about 90 down to 50... Just as the first of the 2 cars hit the blue lights in my mirrors...
I pulled over and sat on the bike. The Vectra with flashing blue lights stopped in front. This would be the same Vectra I passed at 140ish moments before. And undertook at 90ish. The lovely police woman jumped out and began to berate me, as did a man with a big camera on his shoulder, filming the lot. She insisted I remove my lid, gave me st for not being in full leathers and made, for some reason, mention of the speed I had been riding at. She wasn't too impressed with my black and silver plate either 
I was extremely contrite, expressed profound apologies and tried to explain myself. I assumed the worst... She the told me it was my lucky day and they were transporting a prisoner and 'didn't have time to waste on someone that doesn't value their life'.
I rode home somewhat slower.
Another time I was coming home from work late at night/early morning. Being quiet I used to enjoy a spirited drive back to mine. It has been raining and the ground was still wet.
Just down from my place you need to do a U-turn in the dual carriageway to come back up the other side and park in the layby outside. I was in the BMW and knew full well I could get a nice slide out of the turn, as I often did.
Coming up the hill on the side I'd be turning into I could see headlights but they were a distance off, so I chucked it into the turn and began to give it a bit of a bootful. It was then that I noticed the car was going a bit quicker than I'd expected. So I gave it a bigger bootful and got a lovely big drift up the road and then slammed it into the layby and parked.
As I sat there giggling away to myself I felt a presence next to me... It was the car that had been coming up the hill, and the 2 TrafPol that were in it... The passenger just looked at me. Quite sternly. Then slowly shook his head at me before a little smile appeared and they drove off
There are plenty more. I count myself quite lucky.
A couple of good ones.
Coming back from The Ace late one night on my bike, I'd lost touch with Gretch in the M3 so was making progress to catch up. I remember passing a Vectra at around 140 before pulling into a layby to call to see where she was. After the call I jumped back on the bike and pinned it back out onto the A1. Ahead was a car transporter in the inside lane and 2 cars in the outside lane, gaining on the transporter. Being on the bike I nailed it down the inside of the 2 cars and between the front one and the transporter and into the outside lane with loads of room to spare. At least a couple of inches. I knew there was a camera just ahead so rolled off the throttle from about 90 down to 50... Just as the first of the 2 cars hit the blue lights in my mirrors...
I pulled over and sat on the bike. The Vectra with flashing blue lights stopped in front. This would be the same Vectra I passed at 140ish moments before. And undertook at 90ish. The lovely police woman jumped out and began to berate me, as did a man with a big camera on his shoulder, filming the lot. She insisted I remove my lid, gave me s
t for not being in full leathers and made, for some reason, mention of the speed I had been riding at. She wasn't too impressed with my black and silver plate either I was extremely contrite, expressed profound apologies and tried to explain myself. I assumed the worst... She the told me it was my lucky day and they were transporting a prisoner and 'didn't have time to waste on someone that doesn't value their life'.
I rode home somewhat slower.
Another time I was coming home from work late at night/early morning. Being quiet I used to enjoy a spirited drive back to mine. It has been raining and the ground was still wet.
Just down from my place you need to do a U-turn in the dual carriageway to come back up the other side and park in the layby outside. I was in the BMW and knew full well I could get a nice slide out of the turn, as I often did.
Coming up the hill on the side I'd be turning into I could see headlights but they were a distance off, so I chucked it into the turn and began to give it a bit of a bootful. It was then that I noticed the car was going a bit quicker than I'd expected. So I gave it a bigger bootful and got a lovely big drift up the road and then slammed it into the layby and parked.
As I sat there giggling away to myself I felt a presence next to me... It was the car that had been coming up the hill, and the 2 TrafPol that were in it... The passenger just looked at me. Quite sternly. Then slowly shook his head at me before a little smile appeared and they drove off
There are plenty more. I count myself quite lucky.
Ah a few people have mentionned insurance related ones, in this case I have two more;
In my first couple of year's driving, I used to think it was a good idea to randomly drive my mate's cars if they didn't know where they were going, were drunk, or indeed just for the hell of it because I liked driving different cars and being everybody's 'car friend' I was trusted.
On one occasion I was driving my mate Adam's Corsa. I was showing him my old man's workshop so we did a lap of the industrial estate. No silly driving, I treat other people's cars with respect. However as we went around the back of the workshop we saw another Corsa which some cretin had stuffed into one of the buildings, probably messing about in the car park. The police were crawling all over it, with a marked up transit minivan. I decided to get out of there so set off sensibly down the road, but I didn't get far before the van caught up (fellow young Corsa driver, coincidentally on the scene- involved in incident?). I pulled up and when questionned lied through my teeth. I told them that I was Adam and my mate here is James, who was showing me his Dad's workshop. I'm a terrible liar, I very rarely did it when I was that age and even less so now. I must've looked shifty as fk. Alas, the police let us on our way satisfied that us upstanding young lads weren't anything to do with the car park 'drift' oiks. I pulled over at the next opportunity and swapped seats with Adam.
On another occasion, I was driving my other mate Adam's Dad's Vauxhall Astra. The car was full of our friends and everybody but me was very very drunk. In our wisdon we pulled up at a view point over Epsom Downs which was popular with both car 'meet' type chavs and doggers, and as such was regularly combed by marked police. Everybody was out of the car and a police car drew in at the other end of the car park, illuminating the row of parked cars with it's roof mounted flashlight. I looked over and my mate Adam, rightful driver of the car was stood there just barely, swaying and slightly cross-eyed with a two litre lemonade bottle which was mostly filled with Gin. Somehow I managed to round up all of my drunk friends and drive away from the car park before the police car went past and without arousing their suspicion enough to follow us.
In my first couple of year's driving, I used to think it was a good idea to randomly drive my mate's cars if they didn't know where they were going, were drunk, or indeed just for the hell of it because I liked driving different cars and being everybody's 'car friend' I was trusted.
On one occasion I was driving my mate Adam's Corsa. I was showing him my old man's workshop so we did a lap of the industrial estate. No silly driving, I treat other people's cars with respect. However as we went around the back of the workshop we saw another Corsa which some cretin had stuffed into one of the buildings, probably messing about in the car park. The police were crawling all over it, with a marked up transit minivan. I decided to get out of there so set off sensibly down the road, but I didn't get far before the van caught up (fellow young Corsa driver, coincidentally on the scene- involved in incident?). I pulled up and when questionned lied through my teeth. I told them that I was Adam and my mate here is James, who was showing me his Dad's workshop. I'm a terrible liar, I very rarely did it when I was that age and even less so now. I must've looked shifty as f
k. Alas, the police let us on our way satisfied that us upstanding young lads weren't anything to do with the car park 'drift' oiks. I pulled over at the next opportunity and swapped seats with Adam. On another occasion, I was driving my other mate Adam's Dad's Vauxhall Astra. The car was full of our friends and everybody but me was very very drunk. In our wisdon we pulled up at a view point over Epsom Downs which was popular with both car 'meet' type chavs and doggers, and as such was regularly combed by marked police. Everybody was out of the car and a police car drew in at the other end of the car park, illuminating the row of parked cars with it's roof mounted flashlight. I looked over and my mate Adam, rightful driver of the car was stood there just barely, swaying and slightly cross-eyed with a two litre lemonade bottle which was mostly filled with Gin. Somehow I managed to round up all of my drunk friends and drive away from the car park before the police car went past and without arousing their suspicion enough to follow us.
Driving in a convoy of 2 Elises down through France, got stopped by some Gendarmes who spotted the front car had a radar detector in the front windscreen. Chap driving speaks French, next thing I know we are being escorted off the Autoroute to the police station. Sat there fearing the worst, the officers go in to the station and come out with chief. They take my bags from the passenger seat and put them in the police car and do the same with my mates from the car in front. Cheif gets in with me, one gets in with my mate and its "Allez! Allez! Allez!". No idea what the hell is going on, but we're now leaving the station and rejoining the autoroute in a convoy of three behind the police car. Then it's "ALLEZ ALLEZ ALLEZ!!!" from chiefy and the two Elises are urged to overtake the Police car and we're getting in to three figure leptons at this point. Suddenly he perches up from the passenger seat and with a big "WEHEYYY" he gives a big cheery wave to a static speed camera van at the side of the road. WTF??? Then we slow down, the police car comes past and escorts us off the autoroute in to a rest area. Chiefy gets out, bags are returned and we are asked to carry on our way but slowly and not to take the radar detector off the front car.
Turns out back at the police station chiefy has a little speed camera gallery on his office wall of "cheesy grins from sports cars" and we just made that hall of fame in exchange for not getting fined.
Turns out back at the police station chiefy has a little speed camera gallery on his office wall of "cheesy grins from sports cars" and we just made that hall of fame in exchange for not getting fined.
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