How to change partners bad driving habits
Discussion
Ari said:
This is going to sound really awful so I apologise in advance, but everything you describe (including replicating behaviour that has caused accidents in the past) smacks of low intelligence.
People of average intelligence or better can usually work out the consequence of the driving you describe.
If that is the issue, then you're never going to change it because the mental capacity to understand the reason for change is lacking.
Sorry to be so blunt, I don't mean to be rude, but in my experience people who drive badly due to inability to work through the consequences will never ever change because they will never ever understand the need to (even if they crash, which will somehow be either someone else's fault, or the car's fault for 'not stopping quickly enough' or mysteriously 'going out of control').
Are all your 10,000 posts as retarded as this one?! People of average intelligence or better can usually work out the consequence of the driving you describe.
If that is the issue, then you're never going to change it because the mental capacity to understand the reason for change is lacking.
Sorry to be so blunt, I don't mean to be rude, but in my experience people who drive badly due to inability to work through the consequences will never ever change because they will never ever understand the need to (even if they crash, which will somehow be either someone else's fault, or the car's fault for 'not stopping quickly enough' or mysteriously 'going out of control').
Ari said:
R_U_LOCAL said:
This is utter nonsense.
I've met some extremely intelligent and highly educated individuals who couldn't drive a greasy stick up a dogs arse.
Poor driving ability is in no way an indication of poor intelligence.
I'm talking about the ability to process the fact that crashing four times into the back of other cars indicates a need to change behaviour slightly...I've met some extremely intelligent and highly educated individuals who couldn't drive a greasy stick up a dogs arse.
Poor driving ability is in no way an indication of poor intelligence.
If you have a rear-end shunt type accident, you're statistically far more at risk of having another rear-end shunt within the following 12 months. Why is this? Mostly because people have an inbuilt inability to take responsibility for accidents. They will usually blame the road surface, or the car in front for braking suddenly, or the child for running out - they find it very difficult to accept their own failings. We see it in the forums time and time again.
So, if they don't accept they're at fault, they don't take any action to remedy their faults, and they carry on driving just the same as they did before their accident.
The issue is not one of intelligence. The issue is simply human nature.
The problems can be addressed and corrected - it just needs the right approach and an acceptence from the driver that they need to improve. This is probably the most difficult part and it's the one the OP is currently struggling with.
HertsBiker said:
...without causing offence?
She says I nag. Yes I think I do, but as ever, for good reasons.
Such as not tailgating people. She will do this pretty much all the time despite having smashed 4 vehicles in doing so.
She cuts lanes on roundabouts which really annoys me as one day there will be an accident.
She doesn't lock the car when driving so puts herself at risk of a car jacking. The last two auto locked, this one doesn't. I pointed out that the driver she has just cut up on a roundabout may catch up with her in a queue, and be a mentalist.
Sigh.
I wish I didn't nag, but I can't help it. I Want to point out that she also doesn't use mirrors enough when on the bike, but fear this will cause an argument... She changed lane on me, and failed to spot a police car that was following us!!!!
You need to trade her in for a new model.She says I nag. Yes I think I do, but as ever, for good reasons.
Such as not tailgating people. She will do this pretty much all the time despite having smashed 4 vehicles in doing so.
She cuts lanes on roundabouts which really annoys me as one day there will be an accident.
She doesn't lock the car when driving so puts herself at risk of a car jacking. The last two auto locked, this one doesn't. I pointed out that the driver she has just cut up on a roundabout may catch up with her in a queue, and be a mentalist.
Sigh.
I wish I didn't nag, but I can't help it. I Want to point out that she also doesn't use mirrors enough when on the bike, but fear this will cause an argument... She changed lane on me, and failed to spot a police car that was following us!!!!
Ari said:
marshalla said:
Ari said:
marshalla said:
Unlocked = emergency services find the doors easier to open after the next crash.
Virtually all modern cars unlock the doors in a heavy impact. 
Ari said:
This is going to sound really awful so I apologise in advance, but everything you describe (including replicating behaviour that has caused accidents in the past) smacks of low intelligence.
People of average intelligence or better can usually work out the consequence of the driving you describe.
If that is the issue, then you're never going to change it because the mental capacity to understand the reason for change is lacking.
Sorry to be so blunt, I don't mean to be rude, but in my experience people who drive badly due to inability to work through the consequences will never ever change because they will never ever understand the need to (even if they crash, which will somehow be either someone else's fault, or the car's fault for 'not stopping quickly enough' or mysteriously 'going out of control').
I don't agree. I think it more to do with lacking spatial awareness than intelligence. One of the most intelligent people I know is a PhD lecturer. He can't drive for sPeople of average intelligence or better can usually work out the consequence of the driving you describe.
If that is the issue, then you're never going to change it because the mental capacity to understand the reason for change is lacking.
Sorry to be so blunt, I don't mean to be rude, but in my experience people who drive badly due to inability to work through the consequences will never ever change because they will never ever understand the need to (even if they crash, which will somehow be either someone else's fault, or the car's fault for 'not stopping quickly enough' or mysteriously 'going out of control').
t and is constantly confused / annoyed by other drivers reactions to him on the road. Ari said:
This is going to sound really awful so I apologise in advance, but everything you describe (including replicating behaviour that has caused accidents in the past) smacks of low intelligence.
People of average intelligence or better can usually work out the consequence of the driving you describe.
If that is the issue, then you're never going to change it because the mental capacity to understand the reason for change is lacking.
Sorry to be so blunt, I don't mean to be rude, but in my experience people who drive badly due to inability to work through the consequences will never ever change because they will never ever understand the need to (even if they crash, which will somehow be either someone else's fault, or the car's fault for 'not stopping quickly enough' or mysteriously 'going out of control').
I'd like to translate this post a bit clearer. You get the following types of people:People of average intelligence or better can usually work out the consequence of the driving you describe.
If that is the issue, then you're never going to change it because the mental capacity to understand the reason for change is lacking.
Sorry to be so blunt, I don't mean to be rude, but in my experience people who drive badly due to inability to work through the consequences will never ever change because they will never ever understand the need to (even if they crash, which will somehow be either someone else's fault, or the car's fault for 'not stopping quickly enough' or mysteriously 'going out of control').
1. Academically intelligent with no common sense.
2. Academically weaker with no common sense.
3. Academically weaker with common sense.
4. Academically intelligent with common sense.
Common sense generally equates to driving ability. For instance, we can all agree that it is common sense to stick to your lane on a roundabout, this isn't down to intelligence is it, it's just common sense.
4 is a rare breed. Ari is suggesting OPs wife falls in the number 2 bracket.
Sounds to be honest that you're more worried about being worried than anything that might happen. It's a bit unreasonable to assume that you're going to get car jacked for instance. My car has auto locks, past ones didnt. In either case, I've never had someone come up and try to open the door. Have you or your wife?
Cutting lanes might lead to an accident. Might - not has. I think if you walk through life looking at possible what ifs to the nth degree, you forget the bit about living it. I also think you're trying to take control of things when sometimes you have to let go and trust in others.
Tailgating and 4 crashes, tbh you're fked there
Cutting lanes might lead to an accident. Might - not has. I think if you walk through life looking at possible what ifs to the nth degree, you forget the bit about living it. I also think you're trying to take control of things when sometimes you have to let go and trust in others.
Tailgating and 4 crashes, tbh you're f
ked thereEdited by andy-xr on Monday 2nd March 09:16
You could try gently talking about it on the sofa at some appropriate time, rather than criticising her in the moment. You could also introduce a driving criticism amnesty, where you are both allowed to criticise each other's driving so it isn't all one way.
To be honest, your description makes it sound like she shouldn't be on the road. Perhaps the personal consequences of these crashes (whatever they have been), have not been sufficiently painful for her.
If she has another one, make sure it causes her some hassle in one way or another.
To be honest, your description makes it sound like she shouldn't be on the road. Perhaps the personal consequences of these crashes (whatever they have been), have not been sufficiently painful for her.
If she has another one, make sure it causes her some hassle in one way or another.
Bennet said:
If she has another one, make sure it causes her some hassle in one way or another.
I'm quoting this because I think it's vindictive, small minded and sick to want to inflict harm in a car crash onto someone you love in the hope that it might change how someone drives. Have a word with yourself, you're a f
king sociopath The only item on the OPs list that I'd be concerned about is following too closely, so I'd focus on this. She obviously doesn't have the same perception of safe distance as you do. We know the way to measure this is to count 2 seconds so you could ask her to pick a spot and count 2 secs and see what she says.
She's probably more aware than you of whether the lanes on a roundabout are clear or not. Forget the door locking and relax, you surely aren't scared of everyone.
She's probably more aware than you of whether the lanes on a roundabout are clear or not. Forget the door locking and relax, you surely aren't scared of everyone.
andy-xr said:
Bennet said:
If she has another one, make sure it causes her some hassle in one way or another.
I'm quoting this because I think it's vindictive, small minded and sick to want to inflict harm in a car crash onto someone you love in the hope that it might change how someone drives. Have a word with yourself, you're a f
king sociopath Because that's what the word "hassle" means doesn't it. "Grievously injure." And what you inferred was the most obvious reading of this sentence:
Bennet said:
If she has another one, make sure it causes her some hassle in one way or another.
Is English your first language?Bennet said:
I stand by my words. The OP should get an angle grinder and structurally weaken his wife's car in order that the next time she has a crash, she gets badly hurt. Or he should pay someone to find her in traffic and engineer a bad crash so she learns a lesson.
Because that's what the word "hassle" means doesn't it. "Grievously injure." And what you inferred was the most obvious reading of this sentence:
Because that's what the word "hassle" means doesn't it. "Grievously injure." And what you inferred was the most obvious reading of this sentence:
Bennet said:
If she has another one, make sure it causes her some hassle in one way or another.
Is English your first language?Bennet said:
Perhaps the personal consequences of these crashes (whatever they have been), have not been sufficiently painful for her.
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