One single thing that makes you think "knob" Vol 3
Discussion
Angrybiker said:
anyone going round a car park ramp at literally 2mph doesn't deserve to own a car.
Agreed. Just as bad as the people who park themselves at the entrance of open-air car parks in the vain hope they can spot someone as far away as the other end moving from their space; all the while blocking anyone else from entering the car park. The number of times I've managed to squeeze past then find a space just around the corner... then they go ape s
t at you for stealing their space! tts.ashleyman said:
The 3 young looking lads in the brand new Mercedes CLA 45 AMG thingy. Everything about it just looked off. Especially these guys jumping out of a near £50k motor.
They just looked like low end drug dealers in their tracksuits and woolie hats, looking like they're skulking around. Sunroof left open even though it's freezing.
What made them knobs was parking in a disabled bay.
id park in disabled bay to as long as not council :$. nothing wrong with some scallies having a fast car on finance lolThey just looked like low end drug dealers in their tracksuits and woolie hats, looking like they're skulking around. Sunroof left open even though it's freezing.
What made them knobs was parking in a disabled bay.
Angrybiker said:
yellowjack said:
Probably. Many of the things that irritate Angrybiker are the very same things that irritate me...
I look forward to seeing your contributions to the 'and today's commuting highlight is..' thread... 
Most recent one? The idiot straddling the lane dividing line on a dual carriageway approach to a roundabout. FFS? I want to turn right, so I NEED to be in the right hand lane. Just because there are regular ass-hats (Mr BMW-i8, I'm looking at you, BTW!!!) who nip into the right hand lane to jump the queue and then force their way back into the 'straight ahead' lane at the roundabout exit, it doesn't make it acceptable for you to block traffic legitimately turning right who, if you weren't being an utter bell-end, would have no need to queue at all...
...and the left turning Volvo convertible this morning who was 'stuck' behind a car going straight ahead this morning at the point where the lanes split. You weren't stuck at all you moron! There was about THREE FEET between you nearside wheels and the kerb. You were 'stuck' because you were too close to the car ahead to manoeuvre around it, and because you are a 'tard with no appreciation of the size of the vehicle you are driving.
Oh, and the sub human morons outside Frimley Park Hospital most mornings and evenings. Due to idiots waiting, and worse, parking on the entrance to the drop-off area, the hospital management first coned it off, then moved those big water-filled plastic barriers in on a semi-permanent basis. The idea was to allow large vehicles to swing round (and only just!), while preventing these idiots from parking/waiting. Buses, and patient transport minibus ambulances, for example can clear the barriers where they couldn't pass a car. After a few weeks of it remaining clear, now it gets clogged up with idiots waiting, and occasionally still parking there (unattended vehicle and a bus trying to turn, leading to tailbacks out onto the main road and delays for blue light ambulances at it's worst). All this so that your hippacrocagorillaflump of a wife doesn't have to walk too far from the main entrance for you to collect her. And I'm heartily sick of idiots who seem unable to steer to one side or the other to drop off or collect passengers. It's OK, just stop in the roadway. Everyone else will wait. They'll have to, since you've left insufficient space on either side to get past you. Bonus points if you're loading or unloading someone on crutches, or who needs a porter's chair. Just pull over to one side or the other you idiots. And idiots who just stop, because the person they're collecting isn't out yet. Even when the whole area is choked with cars. Personally, if my wife isn't waiting I go around again, to keep the traffic moving. If I've gone around a third time and she's still not out, I nip over the road and wait on a side-street until she calls me. But stubbornly sitting there, in the middle of the road through a drop-off zone, refusing to budge? That's proper "special needs" behaviour right there...
Nanook said:
Angrybiker said:
anyone going round a car park ramp at literally 2mph doesn't deserve to own a car.
I own a completely standard road car.At the local shopping centre, I have to go over the brows of the ramps at an absolute crawl, or my sills catch/bottom out on them.
hes and the car slips sideways on the stupid shiny parking deck surface they only recently refurbished. Before you ask, I've got decent tyres fitted too. Some of the turns the surface has already rippled, and in places has been torn through. Despite Top Gear having filmed their 'Blues Brothers' shopping mall film in the main malls, I've yet to see anyone powersliding around the 180° turns at the tops of the ramps in the car park.I also have to negotiate other car parks at slow speeds because of those daft concrete dividers. No way I'm risking scraping my bumpers or panels like the paint evidence all over the concrete walls suggests others have done. No way I'm going to risk getting hit by some tit reversing out of a space without looking properly, or hitting a child that excitedly ran toward a shop without looking either. No, I'll happily accept some mocking from those who think I'm driving too slow around a car park, based on the theory that "I'm here already, so chill. What's the f
king hurry to save three seconds getting parked?"DELETED: Comment made by a member who's account has been deleted.
yeah me too actually, but that's a different scenario. If I can manage faster round the corners and bends up/down levels in my father's LS460 I'm sure it's reasonable to expect more than 2mph in a smaller car. I'm not talking about slow for good reason, I'm more talking slow when there really isn't one.If ever I see a Mondeo doing that though I'll apply above new learnings before casting judgement
Edited by Angrybiker on Thursday 19th January 17:38
Angrybiker said:
yeah me too actually, but that's a different scenario. If I can manage faster round the corners and bends up/down levels in my father's LS460 I'm sure it's reasonable to expect more than 2mph in a smaller car.
My car is smaller than an LS460, but it also has significantly less ground clearance, so I'll be going slowly thanks. 
Flibble said:
My car is smaller than an LS460, but it also has significantly less ground clearance, so I'll be going slowly thanks.
OK I concede and adjust my original statement to ".... 2mph in cars that are clearly capable and have sufficient ground clearance". There! :PPS. I also have small clearance in my XKR but still do faster than the people I'm talking about
SirSamuelBuca said:
ashleyman said:
The 3 young looking lads in the brand new Mercedes CLA 45 AMG thingy. Everything about it just looked off. Especially these guys jumping out of a near £50k motor.
They just looked like low end drug dealers in their tracksuits and woolie hats, looking like they're skulking around. Sunroof left open even though it's freezing.
What made them knobs was parking in a disabled bay.
id park in disabled bay to as long as not council :$. nothing wrong with some scallies having a fast car on finance lolThey just looked like low end drug dealers in their tracksuits and woolie hats, looking like they're skulking around. Sunroof left open even though it's freezing.
What made them knobs was parking in a disabled bay.
Yeah, I don't care about the finance on that car. It was just the skulking and being in a bay that made me think knob!
lavaJava said:
I nominate me - for being a bit petty this morning. Travelling along the twisties, bit misty, light traffic, doing c.45-50 in the NSL alternately full beam/dipped depending upon oncoming traffic. SUV catches me up and sits about a foot off my bumper - so close that I can't see his headlights in my mirror. This is a little dangerous, thinks I, but not wanting to press on any more than my current speed, I maintain a steady 45-ish. Fella behind starts dropping back and accelerating right back up to my bumper a few times (mental effort to barge me out of the way?). Right, I'm not having this. Nothing oncoming - straight section of road - I take foot off gas, indicate left, and drop down to 40 ... 35 ... 30 ... 25 ... then start crawling at 20. He sits behind me all the time despite clear road to overtake. Now, I am in no hurry, and no third car has joined our convoy so it is just matey and me, I sit at 20 for a minute or three (we've now gone back into the twisty bit so no overtake opportunity). When we do finally make it onto the next straight, a downhill into a 30-limit, SUV floors it and was last seen hammering into the 30 zone at probably twice that speed.
So me, for being petty.
Not petty at all. I recall many years ago some lady caught me up and ended up sitting far too close to my rear wheel ( I'm on a motorbike ) doing 50ish in a NSL, the NSL is miles long with French class visibility and good for well into three figures if you're in the mood. So I expected her to overtake as she was obviously in a rush, there was no-one in front of me or anyone behind her. So she starts slowing down and speeding up in some pathetic attempt to get me to speed up as she's incapable of an overtake. I slowed down in the same manner as you until I indicated left and came to a stop. Yup, she stopped and started waving her hands around.So me, for being petty.
Arggh.. if you want to make progress get on with it, I have no care and will not prevent anyone from overtaking.
The next time on the same piece of road someone came racing up behind me late one night I tried to keep a safe distance in front, turned out to a be traffic car and we carried until for some 6 miles well over the NSL limit until he decided to turn on the blue lights.
Knobs all of them.
Not car related, but I'll have a my an anyway.
I've recently started swimming as I was slowly turning into a fat bd.
I popped down to our local pool after work for my an usual swim. All was going well until 3 middle aged women entered the pool. Said women then spent the rest of the session pissing about.l, gossiping, stopping mid- swim and generally being complete pains in the arse. My evening reached a nadir when my face came into contact with the oldest woman's lardy, cellulite filled arse when she suddenly stopped in my lane
I've recently started swimming as I was slowly turning into a fat b
d.I popped down to our local pool after work for my an usual swim. All was going well until 3 middle aged women entered the pool. Said women then spent the rest of the session pissing about.l, gossiping, stopping mid- swim and generally being complete pains in the arse. My evening reached a nadir when my face came into contact with the oldest woman's lardy, cellulite filled arse when she suddenly stopped in my lane
jogger1976 said:
Not car related, but I'll have a my an anyway.
I've recently started swimming as I was slowly turning into a fat bd.
I popped down to our local pool after work for my an usual swim. All was going well until 3 middle aged women entered the pool. Said women then spent the rest of the session pissing about.l, gossiping, stopping mid- swim and generally being complete pains in the arse. My evening reached a nadir when my face came into contact with the oldest woman's lardy, cellulite filled arse when she suddenly stopped in my lane
She wants you I've recently started swimming as I was slowly turning into a fat b
d.I popped down to our local pool after work for my an usual swim. All was going well until 3 middle aged women entered the pool. Said women then spent the rest of the session pissing about.l, gossiping, stopping mid- swim and generally being complete pains in the arse. My evening reached a nadir when my face came into contact with the oldest woman's lardy, cellulite filled arse when she suddenly stopped in my lane
Willy Nilly said:
jogger1976 said:
Not car related, but I'll have a my an anyway.
I've recently started swimming as I was slowly turning into a fat bd.
I popped down to our local pool after work for my an usual swim. All was going well until 3 middle aged women entered the pool. Said women then spent the rest of the session pissing about.l, gossiping, stopping mid- swim and generally being complete pains in the arse. My evening reached a nadir when my face came into contact with the oldest woman's lardy, cellulite filled arse when she suddenly stopped in my lane
She wants you I've recently started swimming as I was slowly turning into a fat b
d.I popped down to our local pool after work for my an usual swim. All was going well until 3 middle aged women entered the pool. Said women then spent the rest of the session pissing about.l, gossiping, stopping mid- swim and generally being complete pains in the arse. My evening reached a nadir when my face came into contact with the oldest woman's lardy, cellulite filled arse when she suddenly stopped in my lane
jogger1976 said:
Willy Nilly said:
jogger1976 said:
Not car related, but I'll have a my an anyway.
I've recently started swimming as I was slowly turning into a fat bd.
I popped down to our local pool after work for my an usual swim. All was going well until 3 middle aged women entered the pool. Said women then spent the rest of the session pissing about.l, gossiping, stopping mid- swim and generally being complete pains in the arse. My evening reached a nadir when my face came into contact with the oldest woman's lardy, cellulite filled arse when she suddenly stopped in my lane
She wants you I've recently started swimming as I was slowly turning into a fat b
d.I popped down to our local pool after work for my an usual swim. All was going well until 3 middle aged women entered the pool. Said women then spent the rest of the session pissing about.l, gossiping, stopping mid- swim and generally being complete pains in the arse. My evening reached a nadir when my face came into contact with the oldest woman's lardy, cellulite filled arse when she suddenly stopped in my lane
jogger1976 said:
Not car related, but I'll have a my an anyway.
I've recently started swimming as I was slowly turning into a fat bd.
I popped down to our local pool after work for my an usual swim. All was going well until 3 middle aged women entered the pool. Said women then spent the rest of the session pissing about.l, gossiping, stopping mid- swim and generally being complete pains in the arse. My evening reached a nadir when my face came into contact with the oldest woman's lardy, cellulite filled arse when she suddenly stopped in my lane
Try it in a smaller pool. Hotel, or Health Club sort of pool, 15 to 18 metres, or a non-regular shape.I've recently started swimming as I was slowly turning into a fat b
d.I popped down to our local pool after work for my an usual swim. All was going well until 3 middle aged women entered the pool. Said women then spent the rest of the session pissing about.l, gossiping, stopping mid- swim and generally being complete pains in the arse. My evening reached a nadir when my face came into contact with the oldest woman's lardy, cellulite filled arse when she suddenly stopped in my lane
Get changed and enter pool. Spot obligatory elderly but fit/active couple swimming lengths. Join in, swimming lengths. All is OK.
Elderly 'serious swimming' couple leave the pool. Second middle aged fella joins me. Only he decides that he wants to swim widths, interspersed by steam room or sauna sessions. This means I now have to switch to widths myself or time my lengths to avoid collisions.
He leaves (why do these idiots always seem to do short sessions?) and is replaced by three menopausal ladies. You know the type. Simple black one-piece swimsuit, ladle-fulls of bosoms poured into inadequate cups, hair held up on top of their head by a big plastic clip. They then proceed to swim a few laps of the small pool, three abreast, before standing in the centre of the longest 'lane' of the pool bobbing about with their unfeasibly 'liquid assets' virtually floating on the surface of the water right up under their chins. And no matter which part of the pool you try to continue swimming properly in, they always manage to float across and get in the way. They too, are in and out like legs in a hokey-cokey, back and forth between the bubble spa pool, the sauna, and the main pool.
So you start swimming widths because it's the only way to get some peace, whereupon those soft, yielding middle aged ladies are replaced by a pair of thin octogenarian women wearing swimming caps that haven't been manufactured since QEII's coronation year, with saggy baggy thighs and (apparently knitted that same year) swimsuits that hang down between their legs at the merest hint of moisture. This pair now begin to swim lengths very seriously, and are visibly tutting at me because I'm clearly very stupid for swimming widths or laps...
Don't even get me started on "family with children takes over entire pool in which other people are already swimming 'proper' lengths". I'm all for sharing, but there really ought to be an element of "fitting in with what other users are already doing" instead of "do your own thing, no matter how ignorant or utterly obnoxious it makes you appear".
Other pool users? Knobs, the lot of them...
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