One single thing that makes you think "knob" Vol 3

[maurauth]

yellowjack said:

The clown today... <snip>

Probably because you sound like one of those self-important camera-wielding narcissistic cycling martyrs.

I mean fair enough, you are getting a bit of stick, and not all of it is fair, but your posts are so bl**dy boring!

Honestly, it sounds like the same post every time, cyclists get the sh*t end of the stick safety and attitude wise but their method of transport is a lot cheaper and a lot better for fitness so they should just shut up and get on with it.

[maurauth]

GrumpyTwig said:

People who drive around residential streets pinning their car in first gear, we seemed to have gained both some form of japanese car and a V8 of some kind locally both who appear not to have a gear beyond 1st.

To be fair this has been me from time to time whenever I get a new exhaust fitted. Not necessarily in built up areas but still happens from time to time.

Sitting in that sweet spot where slight speed deviations result in a bit of snap, crackle and pop is irresistible at first

[Limpet]

The penile inadequacy sufferer in the Audi Q7 who sped up deliberately to prevent me overtaking him on two occasions on the A30 yesterday (dual carriageway), the second time almost forcing me onto chevrons.

What is it that has gone so badly wrong in these people's lives?

[carreauchompeur]

knitware said:

I met a man in an Audi today. He wouldn't let me join a non moving slip road. The whole queue is dressed in pink to go to a charity run as was my wife. Anyway, I indicated early whilst doing the 10 mph crawl up the road and thought he let me as I saw a gap, that was until he sped up to block the move with horn blasting, very charitable. It would have made no difference to him to let me in safely, instead I looked at him and shrugged my shoulders.

I drove up the queue and some kind chap let me. Odd behavior.

This really grips my st. If there's a slip road joining a near stationary motorway 9 out of ten people will allow cars joining to zip merge, but there is always a fkwit who takes considerable exception to the whole affair.

Completely unnecessary.

[ORD]

Limpet said:

The penile inadequacy sufferer in the Audi Q7 who sped up deliberately to prevent me overtaking him on two occasions on the A30 yesterday (dual carriageway), the second time almost forcing me onto chevrons.

What is it that has gone so badly wrong in these people's lives?

I can guess at two things - Audi and Q7.

[Horbury56]

giblet said:

Tinted lights. Why the fk would you reduce your visibility by tinting your lights? Seen far too many cockends with heavily tinted headlights recently.

You've forgotten to take your sunglasses off again

[R2T2]

To the king throbber in a badly smoking Mondeo Diseasel who decided that instead allowing zip merges he would nearly force the car infront off of the road, and then cut across 2 lanes of traffic cutting both lanes up to get exactly 2 cars ahead at the next set of lights 100yrds away.

Knob.

[masermartin]

All that jazz said:

I do like how you've said "if I find it boring I'll skim over it and not respond" and then never respond to his rants. Says it all really.

You missed out the bit "like a grown up". That was the important bit. HTH.

[Vizsla]

ORD said:

Limpet said:

The penile inadequacy sufferer in the Audi Q7 who sped up deliberately to prevent me overtaking him on two occasions on the A30 yesterday (dual carriageway), the second time almost forcing me onto chevrons.

What is it that has gone so badly wrong in these people's lives?

I can guess at two things - Audi and Q7.

[forzaminardi]

Bit of a longwinded one here, but the pedestrian who muttered to herself while shaking her head at me as she crossed the road. Yes, I was about a foot onto the pedestrian crossing, but if you'd cared to observe what had just happened around you you'd have realised I was only there because I was being gentlemanly to the lady who had been trapped on the box junction due to a chain reaction of f*ckwittery from poorly parked security vans, stupid lane spacing and impatient SUV 'drivers'.

Hence my cheeky grin as you gave me the look of death and muttered into your hat, madam.

[Hooli]

Thunderace said:

Middle-aged halfwit in Newgate Lane, Fareham. Riding a moped on the pavement, no helmet, mobile phone glued to one ear

Sure it was a moped? there are some electric bikes which are too slow to count as real bikes (hence no helmet etc) around these days. I see one in Donny at times & it's only the noise that gives it away.

[Thunderace]

Hooli said:

Thunderace said:

Middle-aged halfwit in Newgate Lane, Fareham. Riding a moped on the pavement, no helmet, mobile phone glued to one ear

Sure it was a moped? there are some electric bikes which are too slow to count as real bikes (hence no helmet etc) around these days. I see one in Donny at times & it's only the noise that gives it away.

It was a petrol-engined moped.

[e21Mark]

Motorcyclists who insist on constantly blipping their throttle while stationary. Do modern bikes not tickover then?

[TheAllSeeingPie]

e21Mark said:

Motorcyclists who insist on constantly blipping their throttle while stationary. Do modern bikes not tickover then?

Usually one of two reasons:

1. Badly adjusted idle / cold bike - so they are trying to stop the thing from stalling
2. Being a twonk

Hope that helps

[jet_noise]

TheAllSeeingPie said:

e21Mark said:

Motorcyclists who insist on constantly blipping their throttle while stationary. Do modern bikes not tickover then?

Usually one of two ten reasons:


1. Being a twonk
2. Being a twonk
3. Being a twonk
4. Badly adjusted idle / cold bike - so they are trying to stop the thing from stalling
5. Being a twonk
6. Being a twonk
7. Being a twonk
8. Being a twonk
9. Being a twonk
10. Being a twonk


Hope that helps

FTFY

[Liquid Knight]

jet_noise said:

TheAllSeeingPie said:

e21Mark said:

Motorcyclists who insist on constantly blipping their throttle while stationary. Do modern bikes not tickover then?

Usually one of two ten reasons:


1. Being a twonk
2. Being a twonk
3. Being a twonk
4. Badly adjusted idle / cold bike - so they are trying to stop the thing from stalling
5. Being a twonk
6. Being a twonk
7. Being a twonk
8. Being a twonk
9. Being a twonk
10. Being a twonk


Hope that helps

FTFY

11/ Modern ECU controlled fuel injected bikes with knackered air temperature sensors.
12/ Tuned bikes that need certain rmp for the oil pump to work effectively (Ducati have had this issue since the 70's).
13/ Still running a Winter set up so the bike is over fueling and the spark plugs aren't rated for the air fuel ratio.
14/ Holding the clutch instead of putting the bike in neutral so the basket rotation needs higher rpm to avoid stalling.
15/ Being a twonk.

[Rude-boy]

mikal83 said:

What do you do when say your out for a bimble and a car with someone driving along is yakking away on a phone...wag a finger? Shake your finger? Give a stty look??????

Pull alongside, wind window down and shout "Put the phone down you stupid bh."

[putonghua73]

Driving to work - East London to the darkest depths of NW London - this morning, I passed the lights at Tollington Road [London] and proceeded a tad over 20. The oncoming lane was stationery, and suddenly a blonde woman emerged unseen running almost full-pelt from behind one of the vehicles, straight into my lane without looking to see if there were any vehicles.

I emergency breaked, but fortunately she managed to stop herself propelling forward straight in front of my grille! How on earth she managed not to slip in the shoes she was wearing was a minor miracle. After narrowly avoiding being hit, she ran around the side of my vehicle, and carried on running along the pavement!

I'll make sure not to miss her on the way back.

[MarkRSi]

Liquid Knight said:

11/ Modern ECU controlled fuel injected bikes with knackered air temperature sensors.
12/ Tuned bikes that need certain rmp for the oil pump to work effectively (Ducati have had this issue since the 70's).
13/ Still running a Winter set up so the bike is over fueling and the spark plugs aren't rated for the air fuel ratio.
14/ Holding the clutch instead of putting the bike in neutral so the basket rotation needs higher rpm to avoid stalling.
15/ Being a twonk.

16. The bike has a 3-cylinder engine and aftermarket exhaust and thus sounds awesome IMHO


(wait? what'd you mean that counts as 'being a twonk'...? )

[Cliftonite]