One single thing that makes you think "knob" Vol 3
Discussion
Tyre Tread said:
romeogolf said:
Later was knob #2 in a Fiesta. I was sitting at this junction (https://goo.gl/maps/LgZ2hNkxAjM2) indicating right and sitting 'this' side of the yellow box as there were 3 cars already waiting at the red light. Said Fiesta comes up behind me, then scoots left, goes around me, and sits ahead of me in the yellow box.
See Highway Code rule 174. He clearly was trying to drop you the hint. 
Maybe you should rescind your knob nomination on that one.Knob 1.
The taxi driver parked, gabbing on his radio/phone on double yellows, halfway through a blind s-bend. Forcing me to drive around him on the wrong side of the road, around the blind corner. Thanks you f
kwit!
Knob 2.
The silly bint that stopped on an island in traffic this morning right in front of me, blocking my entry onto the island. Never even looked, just sat there staring at the car in front. Didn't you fking see me love? No? What a surprise 
The taxi driver parked, gabbing on his radio/phone on double yellows, halfway through a blind s-bend. Forcing me to drive around him on the wrong side of the road, around the blind corner. Thanks you f
kwit! Knob 2.
The silly bint that stopped on an island in traffic this morning right in front of me, blocking my entry onto the island. Never even looked, just sat there staring at the car in front. Didn't you f
king see me love? No? What a surprise Tyre Tread said:
romeogolf said:
Later was knob #2 in a Fiesta. I was sitting at this junction https://goo.gl/maps/LgZ2hNkxAjM2 indicating right and sitting 'this' side of the yellow box as there were 3 cars already waiting at the red light. Said Fiesta comes up behind me, then scoots left, goes around me, and sits ahead of me in the yellow box.
See Highway Code rule 174. He clearly was trying to drop you the hint. Maybe you should rescind your knob nomination on that one.
).As 'romeogolf' tells it, the Fiesta scooted past, and then sat ahead of him in a yellow box. Not such a big issue?
It probably is when said yellow box is an ungated level crossing on a railway line heading to one of the UK's busiest freight handling ports, and said level crossing has featured at least once in YouTube clips featuring knob-heads obstructing it when trains are approaching.
Googlemaps' satellite imagery even captures a long freight train right on the crossing... https://www.google.co.uk/maps/@50.8969934,-1.39617...
Dawdling tts! Why the fk are you driving 15-20mph under the speed limit you sleepwalking zombie aholes?
Of course. Silly me! You're updating your Facewk status and stter profile. Here's an idea. How about you fk off somewhere else other than a public road and do that? s!
Tailgating, brake-checking wkers. So let me get this straight. You're so determined to prove your importance and win at all costs mentality that you're prepared to damage both your and other innocent road users vehicles and cause (potentially) fatal accidents? Riiiiiiight 
ts! Why the fk are you driving 15-20mph under the speed limit you sleepwalking zombie aholes?Of course. Silly me! You're updating your Facew
k status and stter profile. Here's an idea. How about you fk off somewhere else other than a public road and do that? s!Tailgating, brake-checking w
kers. So let me get this straight. You're so determined to prove your importance and win at all costs mentality that you're prepared to damage both your and other innocent road users vehicles and cause (potentially) fatal accidents? Riiiiiiight Edited by jogger1976 on Saturday 17th October 13:18
Edited by jogger1976 on Saturday 17th October 13:19
i can't remember whether i complained about this before, but is anyone else starting to get fked off by dashcam "heroes"?
Last week I was doing my normal commute into Manchester city centre on Chester road. I go in early so I avoid the horrible traffic, but it's still busy at 7am. Joining deansgate there is a sequence of lights with box junctions. This was the week of the tory party conference, and yet another sinkhole had opened up (google it) so there were a few closed roads. Basically I got caught in the wrong lane - left turn only - and I wanted to go straight on. I was level with another car and we both had the box junction immediately in front of us. As the lights changed and the cars started to move off, I signalled and moved into the space in front of him where there was plenty of room, and he had not yet moved. The exit ahead was clear, as per the rules. I didn't cut his nose off, or cause him to brake. I didn't need to floor it and swing in; nothing like that. Despite this he was flashing his lights at me, but even more irritating was he then started to mess with his dashcam in such a way that it looked like he was trying to take a still image of me, or tell the camera to save the previous few minutes. I mean what a fking self righteous . What exactly was he planning to do with this scintillating footage of a car changing lanes in front of him? I can just imagine the synchronised facepalms that the local police give when he sends in the tenth clip of the day, feeling really chuffed that he's making the world a better place, when in face he was making it slightly worse if anything at all. Dashcams should be mandatory and then footage streamed straight to the police for automated analysis of all parties concerned. fking tit.
ked off by dashcam "heroes"? Last week I was doing my normal commute into Manchester city centre on Chester road. I go in early so I avoid the horrible traffic, but it's still busy at 7am. Joining deansgate there is a sequence of lights with box junctions. This was the week of the tory party conference, and yet another sinkhole had opened up (google it) so there were a few closed roads. Basically I got caught in the wrong lane - left turn only - and I wanted to go straight on. I was level with another car and we both had the box junction immediately in front of us. As the lights changed and the cars started to move off, I signalled and moved into the space in front of him where there was plenty of room, and he had not yet moved. The exit ahead was clear, as per the rules. I didn't cut his nose off, or cause him to brake. I didn't need to floor it and swing in; nothing like that. Despite this he was flashing his lights at me, but even more irritating was he then started to mess with his dashcam in such a way that it looked like he was trying to take a still image of me, or tell the camera to save the previous few minutes. I mean what a f
king self righteous . What exactly was he planning to do with this scintillating footage of a car changing lanes in front of him? I can just imagine the synchronised facepalms that the local police give when he sends in the tenth clip of the day, feeling really chuffed that he's making the world a better place, when in face he was making it slightly worse if anything at all. Dashcams should be mandatory and then footage streamed straight to the police for automated analysis of all parties concerned. fking tit.I was working on my FTO when I heard a camera shutter sound. I looked up to see a woman taking photo's of me. Naturally curious I asked...
"What the bloody Hell are you doing?"
"I'm from the Council and we've had a complaint about cars being worked on at this address".
"What address?"
"Right number wrong street".
"You must be new".
"What makes you say that?"
"This isn't Wrong Street, this is Right Chase and a private residence nothing to do with the Council".
"I am so sorry. I'll delete them right away".
"That's okay. I thought you were one of those women who go round taking photo's of men's bottoms".
"What the bloody Hell are you doing?"
"I'm from the Council and we've had a complaint about cars being worked on at this address".
"What address?"
"Right number wrong street".
"You must be new".
"What makes you say that?"
"This isn't Wrong Street, this is Right Chase and a private residence nothing to do with the Council".
"I am so sorry. I'll delete them right away".
"That's okay. I thought you were one of those women who go round taking photo's of men's bottoms".
Blown2CV said:
i can't remember whether i complained about this before, but is anyone else starting to get fked off by dashcam "heroes"
Yes. They're the new 'helmet cam cyclists'.ked off by dashcam "heroes"Self righteous w
kers, and at least half the time it seems they fuel the situation they're recording just for a reaction. jogger1976 said:
Dawdling tts! Why the fk are you driving 15-20mph under the speed limit you sleepwalking zombie aholes?
Most of these are Mr/Mrs 40mph types. They travel at 20mph under an NSL no doubt thinking they are safe - but as soon as you enter a 30mph zone - they sail off into the sunset.ts! Why the fk are you driving 15-20mph under the speed limit you sleepwalking zombie aholes?I suspect many of these are driving according to the instantaneous MPG reading - rather than the speed limit signs and their speedometer.
Two from today whilst traveling back south from visiting my brother for a few days in rural Aberdeenshire.
1.
Wiggling my way along the A93 towards Banchory. I was last in a queue of 6. Lead car was varying speed between 40 and 50 in NSL and remained at 40 through the 30's. It wasn't them. About 2 miles before I turned off to nip over Cairn O'Mount to the A90, a new S3 suddenly (and I mean suddenly due to blind bends) appeared in mirrors with a very scary closing speed. They promptly sat on my rear bumper even though I had nowhere to go in front of me. Fortunately for me, none of the cars turned off the A93 when I did, but the S3 did. Still sitting on my bumper, coming across a decent straight bit of road, I indicated left and braked gently to reduce my speed to aid his overtake which ended up taking a while because he was so close behind he couldn't see past properly.
2.
A bit of a longish story this one but it didn't directly affect me, but could have if things went wrong. About 40-50 minutes later on the A90 just past Forfar heading south, I was gradually catching up with a lorry. I was checking my mirrors as I was starting to think about overtaking.
In the distance behind there was two cars closing at a fair rate of knots so I decided to wait until they passed until I overtook the lorry. There was a Nissan Quishsquash in L2 and a Leon FR in L1, Nissan directly alongside Leon. Keeping an eye on mirrors as they closed in, noticed Leon was speeding up and matching Nissan both now following ~1 second behind. At this point the Leon indicates and without hesitation starts to move into L2. Nissan brakes hard and leans on horn and gets pushed into the gravel at the central reservation. Leon does not return to original lane as most would likely do if they started a lane manoeuvre and got honked. It carried on as if nothing had happened. The Nissan was in a cloud of dust behind and then floored it. Meanwhile, whilst having become rapidly aware of what was going on, I had pulled as far left as I could and sped up slightly to make sure I didn't get caught up if they came together.
After both has passed without actually making contact they sped off into the distance. Didn't see the Nissan again. The Leon however, I came across again on the Kingsway in Dundee sitting on the bumper of an Ambulance that was doing 30 in the 40 stretch. I overtook and the driver, a blonde woman probably in late 20's could barely see out the side window let alone the windscreen so no wonder she almost sideswiped someone next to her. Had a tacky personalised numberplate too but that is just me judging. She ended up sitting on my rear bumper later on when it went to the 50 stretch and I was sitting at 50 on cruise control. She turned off the A90 not long after eventually passing me again.
On another note, is there a thread for good driving? I encountered a few good drivers in the past few days too.
1.
Wiggling my way along the A93 towards Banchory. I was last in a queue of 6. Lead car was varying speed between 40 and 50 in NSL and remained at 40 through the 30's. It wasn't them. About 2 miles before I turned off to nip over Cairn O'Mount to the A90, a new S3 suddenly (and I mean suddenly due to blind bends) appeared in mirrors with a very scary closing speed. They promptly sat on my rear bumper even though I had nowhere to go in front of me. Fortunately for me, none of the cars turned off the A93 when I did, but the S3 did. Still sitting on my bumper, coming across a decent straight bit of road, I indicated left and braked gently to reduce my speed to aid his overtake which ended up taking a while because he was so close behind he couldn't see past properly.
2.
A bit of a longish story this one but it didn't directly affect me, but could have if things went wrong. About 40-50 minutes later on the A90 just past Forfar heading south, I was gradually catching up with a lorry. I was checking my mirrors as I was starting to think about overtaking.
In the distance behind there was two cars closing at a fair rate of knots so I decided to wait until they passed until I overtook the lorry. There was a Nissan Quishsquash in L2 and a Leon FR in L1, Nissan directly alongside Leon. Keeping an eye on mirrors as they closed in, noticed Leon was speeding up and matching Nissan both now following ~1 second behind. At this point the Leon indicates and without hesitation starts to move into L2. Nissan brakes hard and leans on horn and gets pushed into the gravel at the central reservation. Leon does not return to original lane as most would likely do if they started a lane manoeuvre and got honked. It carried on as if nothing had happened. The Nissan was in a cloud of dust behind and then floored it. Meanwhile, whilst having become rapidly aware of what was going on, I had pulled as far left as I could and sped up slightly to make sure I didn't get caught up if they came together.
After both has passed without actually making contact they sped off into the distance. Didn't see the Nissan again. The Leon however, I came across again on the Kingsway in Dundee sitting on the bumper of an Ambulance that was doing 30 in the 40 stretch. I overtook and the driver, a blonde woman probably in late 20's could barely see out the side window let alone the windscreen so no wonder she almost sideswiped someone next to her. Had a tacky personalised numberplate too but that is just me judging. She ended up sitting on my rear bumper later on when it went to the 50 stretch and I was sitting at 50 on cruise control. She turned off the A90 not long after eventually passing me again.
On another note, is there a thread for good driving? I encountered a few good drivers in the past few days too.
Knob in a Kia Picanto yesterday on the M1 who deliberately sped up as I moved in to the middle lane and then flashed his lights, and tailgated me for miles - or tried, once the traffic cleared, but couldn't keep up poor sole....
And double knob in the octavia estate laden with bikes just now who overtook me on the slip in to a motorway services just to get there.... The exact same time as me. Next time perhaps try not almost ripping the side of my car off!
Knobs!
And double knob in the octavia estate laden with bikes just now who overtook me on the slip in to a motorway services just to get there.... The exact same time as me. Next time perhaps try not almost ripping the side of my car off!
Knobs!
I must confess to a little Audi baiting. I'm coming to the end of a long stretch of dual carriageway which ends in a roundabout with two exits, so logically the two lanes are left fork and right. Now I'm in the left lane and decelerating to turn left. In my rear view mirror I can see Brer Audi driver closing on me rather quickly and I rather doubt that chummy is turning right into a village. So I decide to see how late he wants to brake. Yep, I'm a knob. Audi punter obviously unaware of the laws of physics thinks that he can stop his large barge quicker than my little old heap. He can't. And so he has to brake from alongside me on the roundabout and drop in behind me in the single carriageway. I mean no real harm done. No-one was close to swapping paint and no-one was really in danger of having an accident (unless chummy had tried to overtake on the single carriageway we were entering as it is double whites down the middle). The funny bit was his utter fury at me having the audacity to cause him inconvenience, he was flashing his lights and shaking the beans at me. I gave him a cheery wave and he went just about apoplectic!
If you are that Audi driver, you really need to chill out mate. There are knobs about
If you are that Audi driver, you really need to chill out mate. There are knobs about
Edited by Rumblestripe on Sunday 18th October 19:28
Rumblestripe said:
I must confess to a little Audi baiting. I'm coming to the end of a long stretch of dual carriageway which ends in a roundabout with two exits, so logically the two lanes are left fork and right. Now I'm in the left lane and decelerating to turn left. In my rear view mirror I can Brer Audi driver closing on me rather quickly and I rather doubt that chummy is turning right into a village. So I decide to see how late he wants to brake. Yep, I'm a knob. Audi punter obviously unaware of the laws of physics thinks that he can stop his large barge quicker than my little old heap. He can't. And so he has to brake from alongside me on the roundabout and drop in behind me in the single carriageway. I mean no real harm done. No-one was close to swapping paint and no-one was really in danger of having an accident (unless chummy had tried to overtake on the single carriageway we were entering as it is double whites down the middle). The funny bit was his utter fury at me having the audacity to cause him inconvenience, he was flashing his lights and shaking the beans at me. I gave his a cheery wave and he went just about apoplectic!
If you are that Audi driver, you really need to chill out mate. There are knobs about
Is there an 'Audi Baiting' topic on PH? If not, there should be. They have definitely outstripped BMW and Range Rover Sports, (with naff plate), as the 'Roadknobs' of this particular period in driving history. I wonder who will replace them in the future? I nominate...small white vans with the company logo writ large all over it.If you are that Audi driver, you really need to chill out mate. There are knobs about
fire3500 said:
Hackney said:
Where did I say "blameless biker"? And dick-move is self explanatory really, it's a move that makes one look a dick.
And it was whole phrase "see term: dick move" that threw me.
See term where? In the book of daft phrases?
Morrisons, Farnborough, this afternoon.
I was crossing one of the car park "roads" with a heavy trolley full of stuff that wasn't "just a couple of bits'n'bobs and some bread rolls for us tea".
Look left, look right, begin to cross. Trolley, as is usual, has a truly unique steering geometry, and a mind of it's own.
Then, from my right, appears an Audi A7. It certainly wasn't there when I began the long journey across two lanes worth of road, and I was pretty much committed to crossing. I expected the Audi to cross behind me, in the space I was slowly, but surely vacating. But no. This chump goes for the 'overtake' in the "wrong" lane. Sorry mate, but I'm not reversing this fking trolley. You've got yourself stuck, you'll have to wait for me to get out of the way. If only you'd have looked, and thought about it, you could have demonstrated some good judgement, and patience, and gone about your business in the (freshly vacated) "correct" lane.
Anyway. I don't know whether he was more angry about me being "in his way", or my lack of contrition for being "in his way". But he was certainly angry. He mouthed something at me, and my wife grabbed my arm. She'd seen "that look" in my eye, and wasn't about to let me off my leash. As we walked to our car, and he sped to as close a space to the store as he could find, she said "no. you're not going to go and have a word with him" (I wasn't anyway, I was too hungry for that nonsense).
She joked that it was "yet another reinforcement of a car/driver stereotype". I forecast that the knob would be wearing "mustard coloured slacks, and a sweater" when he got out of his car. Sadly, I was wrong. It was worse than that. With his short, steely grey, thinning hair, brown leather 'blouson' style jacket, and corduroy trousers he seemed to have taken his styling cues from Dennis Waterman's 'New Tricks' character. "Damn. I was wrong" said I. "Not far out, though", said the wife. "Not only does he drive like a knob, but he dresses the part too!"
https://www.google.co.uk/maps/@51.2913702,-0.78887...
I was crossing from the tree beside the silver Rover, toward the big yellow charity 'bin'.
https://www.google.co.uk/maps/@51.2914006,-0.78931...
This is the view he'd have had upon turning in off the main road. No excuses whatsoever for not seeing us, and planning appropriately. After all, if we were playing Family Fortunes, and the question was "Name something you'd see in a supermarket car park?", after the top answer, parked cars, surely the next most popular answer the 100 people surveyed would have said would be "shoppers" or "trolleys"?
I was crossing one of the car park "roads" with a heavy trolley full of stuff that wasn't "just a couple of bits'n'bobs and some bread rolls for us tea".
Look left, look right, begin to cross. Trolley, as is usual, has a truly unique steering geometry, and a mind of it's own.
Then, from my right, appears an Audi A7. It certainly wasn't there when I began the long journey across two lanes worth of road, and I was pretty much committed to crossing. I expected the Audi to cross behind me, in the space I was slowly, but surely vacating. But no. This chump goes for the 'overtake' in the "wrong" lane. Sorry mate, but I'm not reversing this f
king trolley. You've got yourself stuck, you'll have to wait for me to get out of the way. If only you'd have looked, and thought about it, you could have demonstrated some good judgement, and patience, and gone about your business in the (freshly vacated) "correct" lane.Anyway. I don't know whether he was more angry about me being "in his way", or my lack of contrition for being "in his way". But he was certainly angry. He mouthed something at me, and my wife grabbed my arm. She'd seen "that look" in my eye, and wasn't about to let me off my leash. As we walked to our car, and he sped to as close a space to the store as he could find, she said "no. you're not going to go and have a word with him" (I wasn't anyway, I was too hungry for that nonsense).
She joked that it was "yet another reinforcement of a car/driver stereotype". I forecast that the knob would be wearing "mustard coloured slacks, and a sweater" when he got out of his car. Sadly, I was wrong. It was worse than that. With his short, steely grey, thinning hair, brown leather 'blouson' style jacket, and corduroy trousers he seemed to have taken his styling cues from Dennis Waterman's 'New Tricks' character. "Damn. I was wrong" said I. "Not far out, though", said the wife. "Not only does he drive like a knob, but he dresses the part too!"
https://www.google.co.uk/maps/@51.2913702,-0.78887...
I was crossing from the tree beside the silver Rover, toward the big yellow charity 'bin'.
https://www.google.co.uk/maps/@51.2914006,-0.78931...
This is the view he'd have had upon turning in off the main road. No excuses whatsoever for not seeing us, and planning appropriately. After all, if we were playing Family Fortunes, and the question was "Name something you'd see in a supermarket car park?", after the top answer, parked cars, surely the next most popular answer the 100 people surveyed would have said would be "shoppers" or "trolleys"?
The fkstick in a mini (bmw flavour) who thought that because someone was turning left here https://goo.gl/maps/g8Jfbbb1abR2 it was ok to overtake on the opposite carriage way. It's a good thing that I followed the signage and was down at the recommended 40mph so that I was able to brake down to 10mph to avoid a head on with the front of your oversized leased piece of st. If you'd even glanced my car your insurance premiums would've been the least of your problems when I'd gotten hold of your moronic face. knob!
Then there is the dawdling knobstain who decided to stop, straddling two lanes entering the roundabout because you're too much of a tt to distinguish between headlights and indicators, yet again saved by me following at more than the correct stopping distance being able to brake gently down. Maybe it's time you handed in your licence and joined the other window lickers on the bus.
kstick in a mini (bmw flavour) who thought that because someone was turning left here https://goo.gl/maps/g8Jfbbb1abR2 it was ok to overtake on the opposite carriage way. It's a good thing that I followed the signage and was down at the recommended 40mph so that I was able to brake down to 10mph to avoid a head on with the front of your oversized leased piece of st. If you'd even glanced my car your insurance premiums would've been the least of your problems when I'd gotten hold of your moronic face. knob! Then there is the dawdling knobstain who decided to stop, straddling two lanes entering the roundabout because you're too much of a t
t to distinguish between headlights and indicators, yet again saved by me following at more than the correct stopping distance being able to brake gently down. Maybe it's time you handed in your licence and joined the other window lickers on the bus. Gassing Station | General Gassing | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff