One single thing that makes you think "knob" Vol 3

[ashleyman]

Back to thread.

Guy indicating left whilst passing parked traffic at 5mph. Not pulling in just driving slow whilst indicating. I go to overtake and then the indicator goes off and he just starts driving normally but slowly. WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!!

Outside a station, taxi man pulls out without looking or indicating - no problem because I'm a bit further back only he doesn't accelerate. He's just driving ridiculously slow for no reason. I quick beep to wake him up to people behind him and I get an arm out the window with the middle finger.

38 - 43 in a 50 zone. We've passed multiple '50' roundels so first of all you're not paying attention. Now I know you're not sure of the speed, you must think it's a 40 - in which case 43 is speeding. Also on a piece of road thats solid double white lines for the next 4 miles.

[yellowjack]

...and speaking of getting a move on.

Drivers of BMW 320d Tourers with that irritating bloody stop/start feature.

Twice this bell-end passed me, only to end up just ahead of me at traffic lights. Twice the stop/start thingy took forever to cough and splutter into life again, leaving cars behind us stranded on the wrong side of a red light that they'd have got through if this stop/start feature was any bloody good.

Both times I was left wishing I'd filtered ahead of him so save me the pain of having to stop completely (I'm pretty good at rolling up to traffic lights and timing it so they've changed to green when I get there) and unclip. It might well be Sunday, dumb-ass, but other folk still have places to get to before today turns into tomorrow, so get a faaaaaahkin move on! Thank God the road opened up at this point so I didn't have to get annoyed by him a third time...

[InitialDave]

ashleyman said:

I had a lady cyclist do this for my yesterday. High hedges a road that was only 1.5 cars wide and she gave me the countdown and then the thumbs up to pass. What's the best way to thank cyclists for doing this? I felt a bit bad just driving off without some sort of thanks. Beeping horn obviously wouldn't have been good as it's not a 'thank you' noise these days!

A roadrunner-esque "meepmeep" quick double-tap is probably more likely to be taken in the manner intended than any other approach.

[yellowjack]

ashleyman said:

yellowjack said:

I used to, to try to be helpful. As a cyclist I'm higher up than most car drivers, and can see over hedges etc that they cannot. So if I'd spotted oncoming traffic I'd show a hand, palm out. Sometimes I'd count down how many oncoming vehicles too, so following cars would know to go. Too many times though, my advice was ignored, either out of ignorance or sheer bloody-mindedness.

I had a lady cyclist do this for my yesterday. High hedges a road that was only 1.5 cars wide and she gave me the countdown and then the thumbs up to pass. What's the best way to thank cyclists for doing this? I felt a bit bad just driving off without some sort of thanks. Beeping horn obviously wouldn't have been good as it's not a 'thank you' noise these days!

It's not always practical to give a 'thank you' but when I've used passing places, or rolled onto a grass verge if I can, trucks usually use the 'flashed hazard lights' and car drivers mostly raise their hand, or a thumb, between the front seats.

To be honest, though, much like when I'm driving my car, sometimes the best form of thanks is just to concentrate on what's ahead of you and get a (safe) move on. Narrow roads, it's better to pay attention to what's going on around the next set of bends than to worry about what's going on with the cyclist in your mirrors, once you've passed us safely we're happy really, so that glance into your nearside mirror to ensure we've got sufficient space and you are safely clear before moving back to your left is the best form of thanks.

[yellowjack]

InitialDave said:

ashleyman said:

I had a lady cyclist do this for my yesterday. High hedges a road that was only 1.5 cars wide and she gave me the countdown and then the thumbs up to pass. What's the best way to thank cyclists for doing this? I felt a bit bad just driving off without some sort of thanks. Beeping horn obviously wouldn't have been good as it's not a 'thank you' noise these days!

A roadrunner-esque "meepmeep" quick double-tap is probably more likely to be taken in the manner intended than any other approach.

This'll work. Just wait until you're clear though. It won't go down well if you're alongside when you hit the horn...

The "quick pip" is just the ticket, as it does sound a whole lot different to a lairy lean on the horn button, and it has the added benefit of warning (as yet unseen) oncoming traffic of your presence on the road.

[ashleyman]

yellowjack said:

It's not always practical to give a 'thank you' but when I've used passing places, or rolled onto a grass verge if I can, trucks usually use the 'flashed hazard lights' and car drivers mostly raise their hand, or a thumb, between the front seats.

To be honest, though, much like when I'm driving my car, sometimes the best form of thanks is just to concentrate on what's ahead of you and get a (safe) move on. Narrow roads, it's better to pay attention to what's going on around the next set of bends than to worry about what's going on with the cyclist in your mirrors, once you've passed us safely we're happy really, so that glance into your nearside mirror to ensure we've got sufficient space and you are safely clear before moving back to your left is the best form of thanks.

I did think about putting a hand up between the seats but I have tinted windows so it wouldn't have been seen at all. I'll remember the hazard lights thing. Totally forgot it meant the same for bikes!! Thank you.

It was actually a WOW moment to have a decent helpful group of cyclists for once, rather than the massive pack or the tit who can't keep his bike in a straight line. Really made me think highly of them.

[C3BER]

Knobs that...

Think the middle lane on a motorway is theirs.
Airline passengers who fanny around looking for their seats then block the aisle.
Fog lights left on.
London drivers who clearly haven't passed a test.
Airline passengers who get up before the plane has stopped, dicks.
Bad manners.

And a special mention to the knob who thought because he flew twice a year was an expert at not showing his boarding card at duty free.

[MarkRSi]

Surprised no one has mentioned Chris Evans...

[boxedin]

ashleyman said:

Back to thread.

Guy indicating left whilst passing parked traffic at 5mph. Not pulling in just driving slow whilst indicating. I go to overtake and then the indicator goes off and he just starts driving normally but slowly. WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!!

Was it a BMW? If so, you're witnessing Park Assist looking for a space.

[Liquid Knight]

MarkRSi said:

Surprised no one has mentioned Chris Evans...

The new Captain America film isn't that bad.

[AJXX1]

MarkRSi said:

Surprised no one has mentioned Chris Evans...

He did come across as a bellend, far too shouty for my liking. Is this top gear or some daft friday night ste? Also; I'm not usually one to call someone else for fashion, but WTF was he wearing? Looked like he'd been down the charity shop before work and slung on the first thing he found. Seems really up his own backside - stick to DJ'ing mate.

Matt on the other hand came across really well, far better than I was expecting. Seems really good for the show, I'd take him over Evans any day.

Bin off Evans I say!

[red_slr]

MarkRSi said:

Willy Nilly said:

jogger1976 said:

Tipper driver's. WTAF! Do these tossers get their licences out of a crisp packet?

I've lost count of the amount of crap, inconsiderate, dangerous driving I've seen from anyone in these types of vehicles. It's almost as if they think "I'm in a 10 ton lorry full of gravel. fk you!"

Also anyone driving a skip lorry in the last week or so can fk off as well!!!!! tts!!!!

Most of them do in fact get their licenses out of crisp packets, unfortunately their vehicles are normally 32t rather than the 10 you thought. They are mostly knob heads. Lower down the evolutionary scale are skip lorry drivers who have yet learned to walk upright.

Careful now, sweeping generalisations like that tend to cause pages of bhing between those making the generalisation and those offended by said generalisations

As someone who runs a few 32t tippers I can understand but a lot of drivers are actually good guys I must add. Also, if you have never driven such a vehicle you don't realise just how hard they are to drive. I know some HGV drivers who have been on 7.5t or 18t curtain siders who jump into a 32 tonner and cant understand why they are so slow and so hard to swing. They really don't like tight corners. You also have to really seriously plan your gear changes and deployment of power and brakes to actually make good smooth progress.

Another dimension is the latest craze for automatic gearboxes. Over the last 2-3 years they have become quite popular. So anything you see on a 64 on might well be auto. They are not great - improving every few months but think very early automated manual boxes from the early 2000s on road cars. Laggy, wrong gear, rejecting gears, doing stupid things - not much the driver can do and when you have a full load on and it suddenly decides to take you up a gear and you start to slow down its a royal PITA. I think it will be another 5-10 years before they get the tech sorted myself.

Remember very few artics you see on the road will be fully loaded up to the 44,000kg. They are generally used for volume rather than weight. The main exception being articulated tippers. So some flash brand new 480bhp tractor towing a load of toilet paper might fly up the hills vs a 32,000kg 20 year old tipper with 250bhp on a good day... easy to see why they might struggle.

[ashleyman]

boxedin said:

Was it a BMW? If so, you're witnessing Park Assist looking for a space.

Kia wagon thing. No spaces anywhere along the line of parked cars for him anyway!!

[Liquid Knight]

AJXX1 said:

MarkRSi said:

Surprised no one has mentioned Chris Evans...

He did come across as a bellend, far too shouty for my liking. Is this top gear or some daft friday night ste? Also; I'm not usually one to call someone else for fashion, but WTF was he wearing? Looked like he'd been down the charity shop before work and slung on the first thing he found. Seems really up his own backside - stick to DJ'ing mate.

Matt on the other hand came across really well, far better than I was expecting. Seems really good for the show, I'd take him over Evans any day.

Bin off Evans I say!

Chris Evans in acting like he's lost the end of his bell shocker!

Isn't there a Top Gear critique thread going somewhere?

[knitware]

Golfer 1 & 2.

Sorry for taking our time leaving the green, (literally putting the clubs back in the bags) no need to shout 'assholes' at us...yet you guys are still taking the shot a minute later.

I let that one go and let you play through, still chuntering and started an argument as you passed, wtf?

Grumpy twits, if that's you relaxing you aint going to live much longer, calm the f down.


I won't be going back to that course, stuck up %$%$£^

[SlimJim16v]

C3BER said:

And a special mention to the knob who thought because he flew twice a year was an expert at not showing his boarding card at duty free.

Apparently showing your boarding card isn't a legal requirement, it's used to make more money from you.

[Muddle238]

C3BER said:

Knobs that...

Think the middle lane on a motorway is theirs.
Airline passengers who fanny around looking for their seats then block the aisle.
Fog lights left on.
London drivers who clearly haven't passed a test.
Airline passengers who get up before the plane has stopped, dicks.
Bad manners.

And a special mention to the knob who thought because he flew twice a year was an expert at not showing his boarding card at duty free.

This reminds me of passengers who either don't have their boarding pass to hand when the board the aircraft or they deny showing it to the cabin steward. All passengers think that it's for the cabin crew to direct them to their seat, however it's actually to check that the passenger is getting on the right aircraft! Because as soon as someone ends up in Poland instead of Ibiza, they're the first to complain that nobody told them they got on the wrong jet...

[jogger1976]

red_slr said:

MarkRSi said:

Willy Nilly said:

jogger1976 said:

Tipper driver's. WTAF! Do these tossers get their licences out of a crisp packet?

I've lost count of the amount of crap, inconsiderate, dangerous driving I've seen from anyone in these types of vehicles. It's almost as if they think "I'm in a 10 ton lorry full of gravel. fk you!"

Also anyone driving a skip lorry in the last week or so can fk off as well!!!!! tts!!!!

Most of them do in fact get their licenses out of crisp packets, unfortunately their vehicles are normally 32t rather than the 10 you thought. They are mostly knob heads. Lower down the evolutionary scale are skip lorry drivers who have yet learned to walk upright.

Careful now, sweeping generalisations like that tend to cause pages of bhing between those making the generalisation and those offended by said generalisations

As someone who runs a few 32t tippers I can understand but a lot of drivers are actually good guys I must add. Also, if you have never driven such a vehicle you don't realise just how hard they are to drive. I know some HGV drivers who have been on 7.5t or 18t curtain siders who jump into a 32 tonner and cant understand why they are so slow and so hard to swing. They really don't like tight corners. You also have to really seriously plan your gear changes and deployment of power and brakes to actually make good smooth progress.

Another dimension is the latest craze for automatic gearboxes. Over the last 2-3 years they have become quite popular. So anything you see on a 64 on might well be auto. They are not great - improving every few months but think very early automated manual boxes from the early 2000s on road cars. Laggy, wrong gear, rejecting gears, doing stupid things - not much the driver can do and when you have a full load on and it suddenly decides to take you up a gear and you start to slow down its a royal PITA. I think it will be another 5-10 years before they get the tech sorted myself.

Remember very few artics you see on the road will be fully loaded up to the 44,000kg. They are generally used for volume rather than weight. The main exception being articulated tippers. So some flash brand new 480bhp tractor towing a load of toilet paper might fly up the hills vs a 32,000kg 20 year old tipper with 250bhp on a good day... easy to see why they might struggle.

Thanks for the explanation. Good to hear from someone in the know.

[Europa1]

Liquid Knight said:

Justin Bieber wearing ear plugs while watching the Monaco Grand Prix.

Bloody hypocrite. :P

Him standing by himself next to the podium was utterly cringeworthy.

[generationx]

Europa1 said:

Him standing by himself next to the podium was utterly cringeworthy.

There was a lot about that sequence that was cringe-worthy - Hamilton giving him a pre-victory spray sip of the winner´s champagne, and also referring to Bieber as "bro". Not cool. At all.