One single thing that makes you think "knob" Vol 3
Discussion
Trabi601 said:
giblet said:
AJXX1 said:
Knob in the local supermarket queue today, bragging to the checkout girl about his "AMG Merc" after flashing an AMG keyring at her and then banging on about how fast it is, how good it sounds, etc... all whilst holding up the line and as loud as possible so everyone could hear....
The idea of discussing or even bragging about my car to a checkout operator makes me cringe. Exchange pleasantries, get your shopping and bugger off. What a prize bellend. What are the odds of this really happening vs. being a completely made up story?
'Has anyone seen the keys for my VR6'
'I was going to walk but decided to bring the VR6'
'I think I left it in the back of the VR6'
So, I'm not surprised at the chap in this story.
Issi said:
AB57 said:
Issi said:
The lummox in the old S Class Mercedes earlier.
We were at lights side by side, me on the left him on the right.
My lane goes to the left, his bends round to the right.
I can hear him revving and edging forward, so knew that he was aiming to try and hammer it away from the lights and try to get in front of me.
The lights changed, and surprise surprise he boots it and tries to dive in front of me but disn't notice the car in front of him, so he ends up behind me, whereupon he followed me making a variety of hand signals, as it appears that it's entirely my fault for not letting him dart in front of me from the wrong lane.
Why didn't you let him go ahead and go in front? I'd say your the knob. I love a good Gp lights race but not when it involves a potential idiot side swiping me.. We were at lights side by side, me on the left him on the right.
My lane goes to the left, his bends round to the right.
I can hear him revving and edging forward, so knew that he was aiming to try and hammer it away from the lights and try to get in front of me.
The lights changed, and surprise surprise he boots it and tries to dive in front of me but disn't notice the car in front of him, so he ends up behind me, whereupon he followed me making a variety of hand signals, as it appears that it's entirely my fault for not letting him dart in front of me from the wrong lane.
mikal83 said:
Issi said:
AB57 said:
Issi said:
The lummox in the old S Class Mercedes earlier.
We were at lights side by side, me on the left him on the right.
My lane goes to the left, his bends round to the right.
I can hear him revving and edging forward, so knew that he was aiming to try and hammer it away from the lights and try to get in front of me.
The lights changed, and surprise surprise he boots it and tries to dive in front of me but disn't notice the car in front of him, so he ends up behind me, whereupon he followed me making a variety of hand signals, as it appears that it's entirely my fault for not letting him dart in front of me from the wrong lane.
Why didn't you let him go ahead and go in front? I'd say your the knob. I love a good Gp lights race but not when it involves a potential idiot side swiping me.. We were at lights side by side, me on the left him on the right.
My lane goes to the left, his bends round to the right.
I can hear him revving and edging forward, so knew that he was aiming to try and hammer it away from the lights and try to get in front of me.
The lights changed, and surprise surprise he boots it and tries to dive in front of me but disn't notice the car in front of him, so he ends up behind me, whereupon he followed me making a variety of hand signals, as it appears that it's entirely my fault for not letting him dart in front of me from the wrong lane.
mikal83 said:
Issi said:
AB57 said:
Issi said:
The lummox in the old S Class Mercedes earlier.
We were at lights side by side, me on the left him on the right.
My lane goes to the left, his bends round to the right.
I can hear him revving and edging forward, so knew that he was aiming to try and hammer it away from the lights and try to get in front of me.
The lights changed, and surprise surprise he boots it and tries to dive in front of me but disn't notice the car in front of him, so he ends up behind me, whereupon he followed me making a variety of hand signals, as it appears that it's entirely my fault for not letting him dart in front of me from the wrong lane.
Why didn't you let him go ahead and go in front? I'd say your the knob. I love a good Gp lights race but not when it involves a potential idiot side swiping me.. We were at lights side by side, me on the left him on the right.
My lane goes to the left, his bends round to the right.
I can hear him revving and edging forward, so knew that he was aiming to try and hammer it away from the lights and try to get in front of me.
The lights changed, and surprise surprise he boots it and tries to dive in front of me but disn't notice the car in front of him, so he ends up behind me, whereupon he followed me making a variety of hand signals, as it appears that it's entirely my fault for not letting him dart in front of me from the wrong lane.
k all assistance from me. If, however, the glance across to make eye contact had been apologetic, and there'd been some attempt at negotiating to move across, then I'd certainly have tried to accommodate the move, especially if I believed his lane selection error to be a genuine mistake. Pushing/edging/creeping forward, describe it however you like, just gets my back up though. I frequently get away far more briskly and smoothly from neutral/handbrake mode than most of the morons holding their car in gear and on the clutch. I refer to them as the Asda drivers. As in "more Roll Back than fking Asda".A roundabout I regularly use is a favourite for this "going ahead from the right-turn-only lane" nonsense. It doesn't affect me too much, as I'm mostly turning right from the correct lane, but if one of these sump plugs is ahead of me I have to be prepared to come to a halt part way round the roundabout if they misjudge their attempt to push in to the straight-ahead-only lane at the last moment. My only worry is that while I'm expecting it (I'd estimate that at least one car does it every second time I go through there) the car behind me may not. I fear that one day I (or someone else) may be 'rear-ended' by a following vehicle if they've had to stop part way round what should be a free flowing roundabout.
mikal83 said:
exitwound said:
Issi said:
People who leave Glastonbury stickers on their windscreens.
Amen.. We had a hero round here who had a 'Holyrood Palace Garden Party' label in his Merc's windscreen for a year..
yellowjack said:
A roundabout I regularly use is a favourite for this "going ahead from the right-turn-only lane" nonsense. It doesn't affect me too much, as I'm mostly turning right from the correct lane, but if one of these sump plugs is ahead of me I have to be prepared to come to a halt part way round the roundabout if they misjudge their attempt to push in to the straight-ahead-only lane at the last moment. My only worry is that while I'm expecting it (I'd estimate that at least one car does it every second time I go through there) the car behind me may not. I fear that one day I (or someone else) may be 'rear-ended' by a following vehicle if they've had to stop part way round what should be a free flowing roundabout.
Not to mention the inconvenience it can cause on the straight-ahead lane.Several roundabouts on my commute are this way, and part of the reason the queues for straight ahead are so long is because the impatient people who cut in do so causing much more disruption!
yellowjack said:
mikal83 said:
Issi said:
AB57 said:
Issi said:
The lummox in the old S Class Mercedes earlier.
We were at lights side by side, me on the left him on the right.
My lane goes to the left, his bends round to the right.
I can hear him revving and edging forward, so knew that he was aiming to try and hammer it away from the lights and try to get in front of me.
The lights changed, and surprise surprise he boots it and tries to dive in front of me but disn't notice the car in front of him, so he ends up behind me, whereupon he followed me making a variety of hand signals, as it appears that it's entirely my fault for not letting him dart in front of me from the wrong lane.
Why didn't you let him go ahead and go in front? I'd say your the knob. I love a good Gp lights race but not when it involves a potential idiot side swiping me.. We were at lights side by side, me on the left him on the right.
My lane goes to the left, his bends round to the right.
I can hear him revving and edging forward, so knew that he was aiming to try and hammer it away from the lights and try to get in front of me.
The lights changed, and surprise surprise he boots it and tries to dive in front of me but disn't notice the car in front of him, so he ends up behind me, whereupon he followed me making a variety of hand signals, as it appears that it's entirely my fault for not letting him dart in front of me from the wrong lane.
k all assistance from me. If, however, the glance across to make eye contact had been apologetic, and there'd been some attempt at negotiating to move across, then I'd certainly have tried to accommodate the move, especially if I believed his lane selection error to be a genuine mistake. Pushing/edging/creeping forward, describe it however you like, just gets my back up though. I frequently get away far more briskly and smoothly from neutral/handbrake mode than most of the morons holding their car in gear and on the clutch. I refer to them as the Asda drivers. As in "more Roll Back than fking Asda".A roundabout I regularly use is a favourite for this "going ahead from the right-turn-only lane" nonsense. It doesn't affect me too much, as I'm mostly turning right from the correct lane, but if one of these sump plugs is ahead of me I have to be prepared to come to a halt part way round the roundabout if they misjudge their attempt to push in to the straight-ahead-only lane at the last moment. My only worry is that while I'm expecting it (I'd estimate that at least one car does it every second time I go through there) the car behind me may not. I fear that one day I (or someone else) may be 'rear-ended' by a following vehicle if they've had to stop part way round what should be a free flowing roundabout.
playalistic said:
...smart phone tts standing in door ways...Pretty much anyone commuting in London really.
In relation, smartphone tts standing in door ways...Pretty much anyone commuting in London really.ts that think it is ok to stand in the middle of the stairs having a phone conversation whilst fellow commuters have to squeeze around making sure not to misstep or carefully avoid nudging/knocking into said tt so they don't end up falling down the stairs. What is wrong with standing somewhere safe like not on a staircase and against the wall away from the flow of traffic?Edited by nullogik on Wednesday 6th July 14:24
Football pundits (typically ex-pros) that use the phrase "he's been a great servant to the club" in relation to ANY professional player. How the word servant can be used with a person who earns £50k to £150k WEEKLY is beyond me!
Bonus knob points if player is actually bang average and been at the club <10 years hanging on to the gravy train. Last nights case in point was Coloccini at Newcastle....
Bonus knob points if player is actually bang average and been at the club <10 years hanging on to the gravy train. Last nights case in point was Coloccini at Newcastle....
bony_13 said:
Football pundits (typically ex-pros) that use the phrase "he's been a great servant to the club" in relation to ANY professional player. How the word servant can be used with a person who earns £50k to £150k WEEKLY is beyond me!
Bonus knob points if player is actually bang average and been at the club <10 years hanging on to the gravy train. Last nights case in point was Coloccini at Newcastle....
Following on from that, people who use the term "grass roots" whenever describing the minor leagues in football. fBonus knob points if player is actually bang average and been at the club <10 years hanging on to the gravy train. Last nights case in point was Coloccini at Newcastle....
k off with that bullst FA marketing speak. You hear it most often whenever England bottle it at an international tournament.Gets caught with a bmw with - www.avonandsomersetpol ce.co.uk on the rear screen an extra aerial and blue lights.
has website at address www.avonandsomersetpolce.co.uk for his business.
Then takes to social media to say police got nothing on him and he is charging them everyday his car is seized.
His Facebook is loaded with videos that are very incriminating.
http://www.bristolpost.co.uk/man-arrested-after-fa...
has website at address www.avonandsomersetpolce.co.uk for his business.
Then takes to social media to say police got nothing on him and he is charging them everyday his car is seized.
His Facebook is loaded with videos that are very incriminating.
http://www.bristolpost.co.uk/man-arrested-after-fa...
Trabi601 said:
giblet said:
AJXX1 said:
Knob in the local supermarket queue today, bragging to the checkout girl about his "AMG Merc" after flashing an AMG keyring at her and then banging on about how fast it is, how good it sounds, etc... all whilst holding up the line and as loud as possible so everyone could hear....
The idea of discussing or even bragging about my car to a checkout operator makes me cringe. Exchange pleasantries, get your shopping and bugger off. What a prize bellend. What are the odds of this really happening vs. being a completely made up story?
surveyor_101 said:
Gets caught with a bmw with - www.avonandsomersetpol ce.co.uk on the rear screen an extra aerial and blue lights.
has website at address www.avonandsomersetpolce.co.uk for his business.
Then takes to social media to say police got nothing on him and he is charging them everyday his car is seized.
His Facebook is loaded with videos that are very incriminating.
http://www.bristolpost.co.uk/man-arrested-after-fa...
...and this is why, uniformed and liveried or not, any Police officer who has cause to speak to me WILL be asked to show his/her warrant card. Sensible exceptions MAY be made, such as when they turn up after I have summoned them on 999/101, or they are directing traffic around my prone form after some twunt of a van driver knocked me off my bicycle.has website at address www.avonandsomersetpolce.co.uk for his business.
Then takes to social media to say police got nothing on him and he is charging them everyday his car is seized.
His Facebook is loaded with videos that are very incriminating.
http://www.bristolpost.co.uk/man-arrested-after-fa...
This sort of criminality kind of proves the point I made to a BTP officer who was trying to access a flat in a holiday let I was staying in, in Cornwall. Upon observing a liveried police van parking opposite the house, I got a bit nosey. When the officers from the van approached the house in which I was staying, I was further intrigued. They spent some minutes waiting for the door to be answered, so when it wasn't I feared there might be a need to let them in (someone may have summoned them, but now be unable to answer the door, for instance). So I nipped down the stairs, opened the door, and asked if I could help them. No problem so far, but now they want to come in. My next question was a polite "may I see some ID please?"
And that's where they (or at least the lead PC) lost me, and my goodwill toward them. He went off on a rant about how he'd turned up in a police van, and was wearing police uniform, and that it ought to be obvious that he was a police officer. Cutting to the meat of the story, I explained why I wouldn't be letting him in and closed the door firmly (but not "slammed in his face" as I was clean shaven at the time
).Well, a little later a young woman arrived home on her bicycle, the police were let in, and later still there was a knock on the door of our flat. The two police officers again. But this time I had an apology from lead PC, and a flim-flam explanation of sorts as to how stressful an evening he'd had, being the only BTP unit covering Cornwall. Turns out the young woman in t'other holiday flat had been robbed on the train home and these chaps were there to take a statement.
Hey-ho! In light of the apology for refusing to present a warrant card, and for failing to move items of uniform that obscured his tab numbers when requested, I deleted my photos of them and the van which were going to form the basis of an official complaint. I think his colleague had talked some sense into him while they waited in the van for the young woman to return home. It's all very well telling me that they "don't get fake police officers robbing pensioners in their own homes" in that part of the world, but at the time we'd had a series of robberies local to me where criminals in the 'distraction burglary trade' had impersonated police officers to gain access to properties. Plus, I had a 25 year career in uniform where I regularly had to present ID to people I knew by name in order to access my place of work. I know how ridiculous it feels to fish for your ID card in such interactions, but when asked, you just do it, because to pull the "can you not see who I am" stunt just makes you seem like a knob.
TwyRob said:
Me last night.
I blinded some poor sod because I couldn't get my high beam to turn off and ended up just doing some kind of reverse dip beam flashing at him.
Sorry whoever you were!
You're only adding insult to injury by writing this, poor chap can't read now his retinas have been burned out I blinded some poor sod because I couldn't get my high beam to turn off and ended up just doing some kind of reverse dip beam flashing at him.
Sorry whoever you were!
The absolute throbber in a white (of course) MINI Countryman with an L plate on the back, plodding down L2 of the local DC making 0 progress to the cars in L1 - sitting side by side with me for a good 10+ mins.
Absolute idiot, I considered winding the window down at one point and introducing myself... Had it not been for the car in front of me I'd have simply undertaken, but as it was the throbber in the Mini had me completely blocked in - which was really annoying as we passed several slip roads where I was unable to allow others to merge as I had nowhere to go myself.
Move over you complete and utter wet fart. There was no passenger so I certainly hope this wasn't a driving instructor (no branding on the car).
Absolute idiot, I considered winding the window down at one point and introducing myself... Had it not been for the car in front of me I'd have simply undertaken, but as it was the throbber in the Mini had me completely blocked in - which was really annoying as we passed several slip roads where I was unable to allow others to merge as I had nowhere to go myself.
Move over you complete and utter wet fart. There was no passenger so I certainly hope this wasn't a driving instructor (no branding on the car).
Fermit The Krog and Sarah Sexy said:
WaferThinHam said:
To the knob jocket in the Qashqai. I overtook a lorry in an NSL on the R1. Got back over to my own side of the road to realise the Quashiqai coming the the other way was flashing me. I had enough time on my own side of the road to choose between my usual how many flashes can I get back, or a cheery wave. I went with the cheery wave, which they saw and gave me the wker back. People are weird.
Also another knob jockey in his Golf R (or other "fast" Golf). Coming off of a roundabout under the A5 in MK, it feeds from 2 lanes down to 1. He clearly didn't like me carrying more speed off of the roundabout meaning I could slot in between him and the car in front. More horn and lights. Shouldn't have left a gap if you didn't want me to fill it.
What is it about Milton Keynes that means it's a by word for crap driving.
I've had this twice in the last month. Both occasions were completely safe overtakes, with 4-5 seconds for the car coming the other way to meet me after pulling in. Firstly a fat council type lass in an ancient Ford Galaxy having a fit with hand signals, and secondly a twerp in a Golf flashing and giving me the finger. I'm not in the habit of risking head-ons, utter morons! ker back. People are weird.Also another knob jockey in his Golf R (or other "fast" Golf). Coming off of a roundabout under the A5 in MK, it feeds from 2 lanes down to 1. He clearly didn't like me carrying more speed off of the roundabout meaning I could slot in between him and the car in front. More horn and lights. Shouldn't have left a gap if you didn't want me to fill it.
What is it about Milton Keynes that means it's a by word for crap driving.
(Is there a maths wizzard out there who can calculate time/distance etc?)
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