One single thing that makes you think "knob" Vol 3
Discussion
The knob in the 3 series BMW ('* B51GHT' - so a crappy plate as well 
) last night on the way home from Goodwood.
So I'm driving along using the electronic speed limiter to ensure I din't get snared by a speed trap (they like "home time" from Goodwood for some easy pickin's on the A286 ) but as briskly as the speed limits will allow.
At Haslemere, or thereabouts, I latch onto the back of a little convoy travelling a little below the speed limit. No way to overtake singly (all tailgating one-another) and road not suitable for a 'bulk' overtake, so I settled in, all chilled out and such.
So, Mr/Mrs BMW, why the raucous driving? You're no closer to being able to pass than me, so the accelerating up to within a couple of feet and then dropping back repeatedly won't help you. Neither will drifting out to 'have a look' when there are solid white lines and oncoming traffic. Well, at various junctions, cars in the convoy peeled off to leave four of us. The climb up from Haslemere to Hindhead (50mph limit) was particularly slow, between 30mph and 35mph. The culprit? A Nissan Micra at the head of the four-car convoy. Some form of 'people carrier' ahead of the BMW finally sees their chance, and they get past while the going is good. I fully expect the impatient twunt in the BMW to do the same, as the road is well sighted, through a series of very shallow bends. Nope. More aggressive tailgating behaviour is exhibited, all the way up the hill.
Kudos, though, to the young Asian lad driving the Micra. He got to the first roundabout through Haslemere, and indicated right. I presumed he was headed up to the Devil's Puchbowl, but he just navigated a slow circuit of the roundabout and rejoined behind me, so to be fair, he took the first safe opportunity that came his way to 'pull over' and allow faster traffic to pass. Spot on young man!
The BMW driver? What became of them? Well, as we passed through Hindhead they quickly disappeared up the road, well above the 40mph limit, but I caught up with them around Frensham pond in the NSL section. Bizarre behaviour, as I was sticking rigidly to speed limits, so I shouldn't really have got near them. In the end, I was starting to be held up by them, but didn't fancy having them take issue with any overtake and ending up tailgating me as they had others, so I settled in at a respectful distance.
And an 'early doors' knob of the day award (distinction) went to the driver of the black Audi A3 (with S-Line badging) who was tailgating me ridiculously closely on the way there at 0700hrs. He eventually passed me with 3 miles to go to the site, principally because I left plenty of space between me and the long convoy ahead. So the maximum he could realistically gain was one place on the road. Approaching the turn for the car park, just downhill from the racecourse, I was even rehearsing some choice sarcastic remarks for when we ended up parked side by side. Only this twunt pulled up blocking the car park turn, to speak to a marshal. Then he was pointed down the road, presumably to another entrance. No big deal, just a few seconds inconvenience, and I was basically already there, but why? You were in such a rush to get past, but now you are delaying me? You're not making any sense at all you dunderheaded flubberjunk.
) last night on the way home from Goodwood.So I'm driving along using the electronic speed limiter to ensure I din't get snared by a speed trap (they like "home time" from Goodwood for some easy pickin's on the A286
) but as briskly as the speed limits will allow.At Haslemere, or thereabouts, I latch onto the back of a little convoy travelling a little below the speed limit. No way to overtake singly (all tailgating one-another) and road not suitable for a 'bulk' overtake, so I settled in, all chilled out and such.
So, Mr/Mrs BMW, why the raucous driving? You're no closer to being able to pass than me, so the accelerating up to within a couple of feet and then dropping back repeatedly won't help you. Neither will drifting out to 'have a look' when there are solid white lines and oncoming traffic. Well, at various junctions, cars in the convoy peeled off to leave four of us. The climb up from Haslemere to Hindhead (50mph limit) was particularly slow, between 30mph and 35mph. The culprit? A Nissan Micra at the head of the four-car convoy. Some form of 'people carrier' ahead of the BMW finally sees their chance, and they get past while the going is good. I fully expect the impatient twunt in the BMW to do the same, as the road is well sighted, through a series of very shallow bends. Nope. More aggressive tailgating behaviour is exhibited, all the way up the hill.
Kudos, though, to the young Asian lad driving the Micra. He got to the first roundabout through Haslemere, and indicated right. I presumed he was headed up to the Devil's Puchbowl, but he just navigated a slow circuit of the roundabout and rejoined behind me, so to be fair, he took the first safe opportunity that came his way to 'pull over' and allow faster traffic to pass. Spot on young man!
The BMW driver? What became of them? Well, as we passed through Hindhead they quickly disappeared up the road, well above the 40mph limit, but I caught up with them around Frensham pond in the NSL section. Bizarre behaviour, as I was sticking rigidly to speed limits, so I shouldn't really have got near them. In the end, I was starting to be held up by them, but didn't fancy having them take issue with any overtake and ending up tailgating me as they had others, so I settled in at a respectful distance.
And an 'early doors' knob of the day award (distinction) went to the driver of the black Audi A3 (with S-Line badging) who was tailgating me ridiculously closely on the way there at 0700hrs. He eventually passed me with 3 miles to go to the site, principally because I left plenty of space between me and the long convoy ahead. So the maximum he could realistically gain was one place on the road. Approaching the turn for the car park, just downhill from the racecourse, I was even rehearsing some choice sarcastic remarks for when we ended up parked side by side. Only this twunt pulled up blocking the car park turn, to speak to a marshal. Then he was pointed down the road, presumably to another entrance. No big deal, just a few seconds inconvenience, and I was basically already there, but why? You were in such a rush to get past, but now you are delaying me? You're not making any sense at all you dunderheaded flubberjunk.
All that jizz said:
Why have you stopped doing quotes to sections from the Highway Code and posting Google Street view links? And why haven't you posted for several days? You cannot manage to get through 1 single day without getting yourself into some calamity.If you really want the highway code references, and the streetview links, then I could e-mail them to you. Although you did previously say that you didn't bother reading my long posts, you clearly do, as you have a good grasp of the missing elements this time. So what's it to be? Do you read my wafflings, or do you not? Are you the bloke who has Stephen Hawking's 'A Brief History of Time' on his coffee table, but really reads from the pile of Mills & Boon's finest offerings on his bedside table?
You are in denial about your status as my Number 1 fan. You may well be in need of therapy...
yellowjack said:
All that jizz said:
Why have you stopped doing quotes to sections from the Highway Code and posting Google Street view links? And why haven't you posted for several days? You cannot manage to get through 1 single day without getting yourself into some calamity.If you really want the highway code references, and the streetview links, then I could e-mail them to you. Although you did previously say that you didn't bother reading my long posts, you clearly do, as you have a good grasp of the missing elements this time. So what's it to be? Do you read my wafflings, or do you not? Are you the bloke who has Stephen Hawking's 'A Brief History of Time' on his coffee table, but really reads from the pile of Mills & Boon's finest offerings on his bedside table?
You are in denial about your status as my Number 1 fan. You may well be in need of therapy...
All that jizz said:
I read the first line, see it's by you again and then move on the next post, as I'm sure most other regular readers of the thread do too. You don't need a reference to a calamity, you just find them every day without even trying. I just do not know how the rest of us mere mortals manage to get through each day without incident. Clearly we are doing something wrong?
So disinterested that you feel the need to...a) quote me (there's no need, I know what I said, as I wrote it in the first place)
and
b) form a reply which demonstrates that you clearly have read my gibberish
...every time I post. You really are a fan, aren't you!
Now do you want the number of a decent therapist? You really need help with these denial issues.
Me, involved a tractor and a two lane roundabout exit, as you'd expect a lot of drivers didn't think to use the second lane to overtake, I decided I would and misjudged how far the tractor had got and realized I wouldn't get past, I saw a nice gap in front of a Skoda, indicated and pulled in, another mistake I made was not realizing the Skoda was a road warrior and had closed the gap which I didn't notice until I was in front of him and he had put his high beams on.
I was a knob for misjudging my maneuver and cutting the Skoda up, though I wouldn't have if he didn't speed up.
Then with the same tractor another knob(wasn't me this time) appears, in the shape of a crappy old Fiesta, tailgates me, swerving to look for a spot to overtake me and the tractor, a large gap appears so I overtake expecting the Fiesta to follow, nope, he carries on swerving behind the tractor despite there being a massive gap, odd behavior,
I was a knob for misjudging my maneuver and cutting the Skoda up, though I wouldn't have if he didn't speed up.
Then with the same tractor another knob(wasn't me this time) appears, in the shape of a crappy old Fiesta, tailgates me, swerving to look for a spot to overtake me and the tractor, a large gap appears so I overtake expecting the Fiesta to follow, nope, he carries on swerving behind the tractor despite there being a massive gap, odd behavior,
Moronic behaviour on the ticket barrier this morning in a very quiet rail station - no queues or obstructions.
The disabled/baggage side gate was shut, but still with somebody manning it.
Knob chops walks up to the gate with nothing in his hands (No large bags etc.) but his ticket and holds it up.
"Is it broken?", asks the station employee, motioning to the barrier.
"NO" says Knob chops, who stands there another few seconds before realising he will have to shuffle left 4ft and put his ticket in the slot.
But, as he passes he calls the employee "f
king Hitler".
If he is like that face-2-face, I hesitate to think what a cocksocket he is behind a steering wheel.
The disabled/baggage side gate was shut, but still with somebody manning it.
Knob chops walks up to the gate with nothing in his hands (No large bags etc.) but his ticket and holds it up.
"Is it broken?", asks the station employee, motioning to the barrier.
"NO" says Knob chops, who stands there another few seconds before realising he will have to shuffle left 4ft and put his ticket in the slot.
But, as he passes he calls the employee "f
king Hitler".If he is like that face-2-face, I hesitate to think what a cocksocket he is behind a steering wheel.
Hol said:
Moronic behaviour on the ticket barrier this morning in a very quiet rail station - no queues or obstructions.
The disabled/baggage side gate was shut, but still with somebody manning it.
Knob chops walks up to the gate with nothing in his hands (No large bags etc.) but his ticket and holds it up.
"Is it broken?", asks the station employee, motioning to the barrier.
"NO" says Knob chops, who stands there another few seconds before realising he will have to shuffle left 4ft and put his ticket in the slot.
But, as he passes he calls the employee "fking Hitler".
If he is like that face-2-face, I hesitate to think what a cocksocket he is behind a steering wheel.
It's scary, isn't it? These people share the roads and the ballot boxes with us.The disabled/baggage side gate was shut, but still with somebody manning it.
Knob chops walks up to the gate with nothing in his hands (No large bags etc.) but his ticket and holds it up.
"Is it broken?", asks the station employee, motioning to the barrier.
"NO" says Knob chops, who stands there another few seconds before realising he will have to shuffle left 4ft and put his ticket in the slot.
But, as he passes he calls the employee "f
king Hitler".If he is like that face-2-face, I hesitate to think what a cocksocket he is behind a steering wheel.
AW111 said:
Hol said:
Moronic behaviour on the ticket barrier this morning in a very quiet rail station
<snip>
If he is like that face-2-face, I hesitate to think what a cocksocket he is behind asteering wheelkeyboard.
<snip>
If he is like that face-2-face, I hesitate to think what a cocksocket he is behind a
There's a few too many people who think the world owes them more than the next guy in line on PH alone.
Hol said:
Moronic behaviour on the ticket barrier this morning in a very quiet rail station - no queues or obstructions.
The disabled/baggage side gate was shut, but still with somebody manning it.
Knob chops walks up to the gate with nothing in his hands (No large bags etc.) but his ticket and holds it up.
"Is it broken?", asks the station employee, motioning to the barrier.
"NO" says Knob chops, who stands there another few seconds before realising he will have to shuffle left 4ft and put his ticket in the slot.
But, as he passes he calls the employee "fking Hitler".
And sadly, the employee has to take that sort of sh*t everyday.
If he is like that face-2-face, I hesitate to think what a cocksocket he is behind a steering wheel.
The disabled/baggage side gate was shut, but still with somebody manning it.
Knob chops walks up to the gate with nothing in his hands (No large bags etc.) but his ticket and holds it up.
"Is it broken?", asks the station employee, motioning to the barrier.
"NO" says Knob chops, who stands there another few seconds before realising he will have to shuffle left 4ft and put his ticket in the slot.
But, as he passes he calls the employee "f
king Hitler".And sadly, the employee has to take that sort of sh*t everyday.
If he is like that face-2-face, I hesitate to think what a cocksocket he is behind a steering wheel.
zedx19 said:
g3org3y said:
Peugeot driver on the A13 back into London this evening must have had a painful neck as he felt it necessary to wear one of these:
Knob.
I put these sort of drivers in the same classification as those who drive wearing Dr Dre Beats style headphones, massive knobs.Knob.
The absolute throbbing pair of knobs in a smart and a Mk4 Golf.
Smart tries to undertake Golf, who sees what's happening, pulls out/in to cut Smart up, it braked that hard it nearly headbutted the floor.
Golf knob then undertook 2 cars, moved back into the outside lane and brake tested the car it just undertook.
Smart then tried to tailgate the car infront, well as much as a shoebox with wheels can.
Smart tries to undertake Golf, who sees what's happening, pulls out/in to cut Smart up, it braked that hard it nearly headbutted the floor.
Golf knob then undertook 2 cars, moved back into the outside lane and brake tested the car it just undertook.
Smart then tried to tailgate the car infront, well as much as a shoebox with wheels can.
Liquid Knight said:
zedx19 said:
g3org3y said:
Peugeot driver on the A13 back into London this evening must have had a painful neck as he felt it necessary to wear one of these:
Knob.
I put these sort of drivers in the same classification as those who drive wearing Dr Dre Beats style headphones, massive knobs.Knob.
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