Totally unsporty "sport" models

[KingNothing]

My favourites are;

"Sport Fog Lights"
"Sport DRL's"

Do. fk. Off.

[CCM604e]

KingNothing said:

;

"Sport Fog Lights"

No these are sport fog lights!

[KTF]

CCM604e said:

No these are sport fog lights!

Are they not 'driving lights' (a silly term in itself) rather than fog lights?

[lel]

Fiesta Zetec S TDCI. Body kit, alloys, big spoiler, huggy seats, short shifter, stiffened and lower than standard and a asthmatic 90bhp diesel that feels like its made from lead sticking out the front.

[CCM604e]

KTF said:

CCM604e said:

No these are sport fog lights!

Are they not 'driving lights' (a silly term in itself) rather than fog lights?

Try leaving them on all day

[scherzkeks]

RobM77 said:

Well laughing at me wasn't really appropriate then, because I was responding to Jacobyte's mention of 'M-Sport', which as described above, is an actual sporting option that completely changes the suspension.

Yes. Those packages also add about 4k to the car. They had better do something.

Edited by scherzkeks on Friday 22 May 15:58

[Jacobyte]

RobM77 said:

Well laughing at me wasn't really appropriate then, because I was responding to Jacobyte's mention of 'M-Sport', which as described above, is an actual sporting option that completely changes the suspension.

Genuine question without being facetious : does stiffer suspension make something more "sporting"? You're not actually going to compete in a sport just because you've added tooth-rattlers to your diesel pool car. But some actual M/AMG/RS owners may well do the odd sprint in their car.

I prefer the way it is done sometimes when manufacturers refer more specifically to the application, e.g. the Mini Monte-Carlo, 309 Goodwood, Alfa 155 Silverstone, VXR Nurburgring, etc. They are at least a bit more honest as to their intention of evoking the aura of motorsport without suggesting it is suddenly a sports car.

[daveco]

Jacobyte said:

RobM77 said:

Well laughing at me wasn't really appropriate then, because I was responding to Jacobyte's mention of 'M-Sport', which as described above, is an actual sporting option that completely changes the suspension.

Genuine question without being facetious : does stiffer suspension make something more "sporting"? You're not actually going to compete in a sport just because you've added tooth-rattlers to your diesel pool car. But some actual M/AMG/RS owners may well do the odd sprint in their car.

I prefer the way it is done sometimes when manufacturers refer more specifically to the application, e.g. the Mini Monte-Carlo, 309 Goodwood, Alfa 155 Silverstone, VXR Nurburgring, etc. They are at least a bit more honest as to their intention of evoking the aura of motorsport without suggesting it is suddenly a sports car.

The M sports are lower, usually with wider tyres and track at the rear too = usually better road holding = subjectively sportier = SCIENCE

FWIW I think they should end up getting rid of SE spec altogether-most of the range looks like, excuse the French, absolute dog st in standard spec.

[kambites]

Dapster said:

kambites said:

I think it'd be quicker to list the cars with "sport" in their name which are sporty. Genuinely sporty cars don't need "sport" appended to their name.

Yeah there's certainly a few, but less than there are mundain hatchbacks with "sport" written on them.

[Mr E]

Foliage said:

How would you guys define sporty? what features would you need to see a car have to be sporty?

Less weight, decent chassis balance and some steering feel are a good start. Absolute pace isn't really required. An Mx5 is a sports car. A 400bhp luxo-barge is not, whatever the trim levels state

[confused_buyer]

When I read those BMW descriptions I can't help but think of Steve Coogan as Gareth Cheeseman.

[KTF]

confused_buyer said:

When I read those BMW descriptions I can't help but think of Steve Coogan as Gareth Cheeseman.

Mercedes is just as bad. Which version of Sport would you like for your A-Class sir?



Whats that you say? You like the A-Class AMG Sport but its not quite sporty enough, well the AMG Night Edition is the one for you! Look, it has 'carbo-fibre look trim' that will truly create a 'powerful atmosphere' for your small penis.

MB UK said:

If you want to dial up the sporty character of the A-Class AMG Sport a notch, you’ll enjoy the A-Class AMG Night Edition. It’s brimming with stylish exterior features ranging from 18" AMG alloy wheels to the striking diamond pin radiator grille and black wing mirrors.

Inside, sports seats with integrated headrests in black ARTICO leather* / DINAMICA microfibre, a leather clad sports steering wheel and carbo-fibre look trim create a powerful atmosphere.

The AMG Night Edition also features advanced technology, including the KEYLESS GO starting function and Becker® MAP PILOT navigation system for a truly effortless drive, plus a reversing camera for effortless parking.

Edited by KTF on Friday 22 May 17:06

[CCM604e]

KTF said:

confused_buyer said:

When I read those BMW descriptions I can't help but think of Steve Coogan as Gareth Cheeseman.

Mercedes is just as bad. Which version of Sport would you like for your A-Class sir?



Whats that you say? You like the A-Class AMG Sport but its not quite sporty enough, well the AMG Night Edition is the one for you! Look, it has "carbo-fibre look trim" that will truly compensate for your small penis.

MB UK said:

If you want to dial up the sporty character of the A-Class AMG Sport a notch, you’ll enjoy the A-Class AMG Night Edition. It’s brimming with stylish exterior features ranging from 18" AMG alloy wheels to the striking diamond pin radiator grille and black wing mirrors.

Inside, sports seats with integrated headrests in black ARTICO leather* / DINAMICA microfibre, a leather clad sports steering wheel and carbo-fibre look trim create a powerful atmosphere.

The AMG Night Edition also features advanced technology, including the KEYLESS GO starting function and Becker® MAP PILOT navigation system for a truly effortless drive, plus a reversing camera for effortless parking.

Edited by KTF on Friday 22 May 17:03

Edited by KTF on Friday 22 May 17:04

Not my words, Carol, the words of MBUK

[RobM77]

Jacobyte said:

RobM77 said:

Well laughing at me wasn't really appropriate then, because I was responding to Jacobyte's mention of 'M-Sport', which as described above, is an actual sporting option that completely changes the suspension.

Genuine question without being facetious : does stiffer suspension make something more "sporting"? You're not actually going to compete in a sport just because you've added tooth-rattlers to your diesel pool car. But some actual M/AMG/RS owners may well do the odd sprint in their car.

I prefer the way it is done sometimes when manufacturers refer more specifically to the application, e.g. the Mini Monte-Carlo, 309 Goodwood, Alfa 155 Silverstone, VXR Nurburgring, etc. They are at least a bit more honest as to their intention of evoking the aura of motorsport without suggesting it is suddenly a sports car.

No offence taken! Stiffer alone doesn't make something sportier, no, but it's not just the overall spring rates they change. I did a back to back comparison last year of a standard 1 series and an M-Sport and the differences in handling were very pronounced. The M Sport has far less understeer, a much keener turn in and far better body control at speed. With the latest generation of BMWs, the differences ae bigger than before and for my next car I will be going for an M Sport (unless the Jag XE drives better that is!).

Most people are going to want a decent engine with their sportier suspension, yes, but many buyers are keen drivers who have BIK restrictions, keen drivers who do high mileages or have low salaries and need the mpg, or keen drivers who simply aren't that bothered about straight line performance in a road car with speed limits being so low in this country. I'm in the latter category, having noticed that policemen now hide in vans behind speed guns, rather than stopping people for enthusiastic cornering! Provided I have enough power to balance the car in the corner and then go from my 55mph corner exit speed to the 60mph limit, I'm happy. It'd be a waste for me to buy an M3 for those brief moments of acceleration, and doing 40k miles a year, the difference in fuel costs pays for my 2-Eleven's running costs and trackdays with money left over! Wallowy understeerey suspension though as on the standard BMWs now? No chance - I never want to drive anything like that.

Amusingly, my wife's even more keen on this philosophy than me. She thinks everything is wallowy! Her Type R has ludicrously stiff suspension, but she never uses even half of the power the car has, and wants better mpg, so in an ideal world she wants a normal engined Civic with Type R suspension. M-Sport is a great idea for people like us

[CrgT16]

daveco said:

FWIW I think they should end up getting rid of SE spec altogether-most of the range looks like, excuse the French, absolute dog st in standard spec.

Needs to be present on the lineup for 2 reasons:
1- So they can say you can have a BMW from (competitive price)
2- So they can charge you extra to make car look nicer

[RammyMP]

Skoda Estelle Sport. It's value for money from Czecoslovakia!

[Drive Blind]

theres a car trader near me and every car he's selling is sports this and sports that. I think every car he's selling has sports seats and sports alloy wheels. I'm sure he even makes up his own models to include the work sport as many times as he can.

sport is the new base spec IMO

[Jacobyte]

RobM77 said:

...BIK restrictions...

Very true. If I were in the company car position, I'd just get an electric white-goods car and save my cash for the car I want. A friend has a Lotus Carlton, Alpina B12 and integrale, yet commutes in a white Nissan Leaf. We take the mickey about the milk float but it seriously makes sense.

RobM77 said:

M-Sport is a great idea for people like us

Is there a special M-Sport throttle delay?

[crostonian]

CrgT16 said:

daveco said:

FWIW I think they should end up getting rid of SE spec altogether-most of the range looks like, excuse the French, absolute dog st in standard spec.

Needs to be present on the lineup for 2 reasons:
1- So they can say you can have a BMW from (competitive price)
2- So they can charge you extra to make car look nicer

Load of rubbish. I do 25K miles a year and have a 520d SE. I'm a car buyer and frequently drive BMW M Sports, Audi S Lines and Merc AMG Sports - the suspension is too hard, the seats are too hard, they tramline, they crash over bumps, the list goes on. 99% of buyers would be better off with 'SE' spec for what they actually use the car for.

[cerb4.5lee]

crostonian said:

CrgT16 said:

daveco said:

FWIW I think they should end up getting rid of SE spec altogether-most of the range looks like, excuse the French, absolute dog st in standard spec.

Needs to be present on the lineup for 2 reasons:
1- So they can say you can have a BMW from (competitive price)
2- So they can charge you extra to make car look nicer

Load of rubbish. I do 25K miles a year and have a 520d SE. I'm a car buyer and frequently drive BMW M Sports, Audi S Lines and Merc AMG Sports - the suspension is too hard, the seats are too hard, they tramline, they crash over bumps, the list goes on. 99% of buyers would be better off with 'SE' spec for what they actually use the car for.

I am somewhere in the middle because I think all the SE spec cars look pretty pants but agree the M Sport spec cars do tramline and crash over bumps terribly, I don't like the SE seats either because they don't have any support but I do envy how supple the ride is on small wheels and soft suspension of the SE though.