Confessions from quality control - The Frontera factory
Discussion
The Crack Fox said:
StescoG66 said:
Hopefully it will land today. If not I will PM you. For info my user name here is the first part of my first name, surname and postcode if that gives a clue :-)
Please email me via the link in my profile, or at the email address given via KickStarter. I have no backers with a G66 postcode, I have 44 trillion names on a list and can't guess who you are, sorry. I have a little list of people who I only have an email address for as they never responded with their postal address*, despite chasers from me and KickStarter, maybe you're on thatSend me an email with your name and address and I'll get on it. Ta.
ETA - I have a "steven.paula@ ..." email address with no postal address, is that you? I've emailed it.
Edited by The Crack Fox on Thursday 22 September 18:26
Edited by StescoG66 on Thursday 22 September 21:30
Just finished the book and I thoroughly enjoyed it, some genuine laugh out loud moments and plenty of chuckles to be had. I can't decide if the hair on the trouser story or the one legged guys boot being nailed to the floor is the funniest. The Polish 'tache one was good as well. 
When are you writing another? Sign me up!
When are you writing another? Sign me up!
The Crack Fox said:
trixyD said:
Just finished the book and I thoroughly enjoyed it, some genuine laugh out loud moments and plenty of chuckles to be had.
Thank you, Trixy! trixyD said:
When are you writing another? Sign me up!
It's work in progress! A different topic but very similar style to the last chapter in this book. It might be later this year as I have a lot on my plate (am now doing stuff for telly which feels utterly surreal).Fast Bug said:
Speaking of doors, for my sins I used to sell LDV's. We sold a Maxus to a big rental company in the midlands, and the first customer that hired it out slammed the side loading door shut and it fell off and broke his foot 
I also rejected one because the seam sealer ran to about 6 inches short of the roof on the side panel and they'd just painted it. I can only imagine someone had borrowed the guys stool he stood on to apply it.
The factory tour was interesting, the main tool they used to fix problems seemed to be a lump hammer!
People actually bought Maxus for real and not a joke? I thought they were just an elaborate practical joke played on postmen, horrible flimsy things with panels so thin they wobbled and engines made of toffee.I also rejected one because the seam sealer ran to about 6 inches short of the roof on the side panel and they'd just painted it. I can only imagine someone had borrowed the guys stool he stood on to apply it.
The factory tour was interesting, the main tool they used to fix problems seemed to be a lump hammer!
The Crack Fox said:
hidetheelephants said:
People actually bought Maxus for real and not a joke? I thought they were just an elaborate practical joke played on postmen, horrible flimsy things with panels so thin they wobbled and engines made of toffee.
They were sold until quite recently, weren't they? I thought they were some seventies design. They're so terribly bad I sort of want one. In Post Office colours with lots of blatantly stolen mail in the back, every panel bent or dented, 4 bald tyres, interior with sun-bleached copies of the Sunday Sport and junk food wrappers. I'd have a sunstrip with "Postman Shat" on it, or something. There, I've shared my dirty secret with you all. Don't judge me.
Fastdruid said:
The Crack Fox said:
hidetheelephants said:
People actually bought Maxus for real and not a joke? I thought they were just an elaborate practical joke played on postmen, horrible flimsy things with panels so thin they wobbled and engines made of toffee.
They were sold until quite recently, weren't they? I thought they were some seventies design. They're so terribly bad I sort of want one. In Post Office colours with lots of blatantly stolen mail in the back, every panel bent or dented, 4 bald tyres, interior with sun-bleached copies of the Sunday Sport and junk food wrappers. I'd have a sunstrip with "Postman Shat" on it, or something. There, I've shared my dirty secret with you all. Don't judge me.
t donks) so they had merit despite the torture chamber driving experience. Not to mention the carbon fibre suspension! The Crack Fox said:
FN2TypeR said:
What did you do to raise the ire of a certain dee jay, if you don't mind me asking?
No-one will believe this, but it's 100% true;Some people might remember Chelfing Automotive. A spoof Chinese car company with a range of hideous models. It did the rounds on here years ago, and elsewhere online. Chelfing is an anagram of felching, the creator loved wordplay and nonsense like that. Anyway. I'm not admitting to me creating that as I'm scared of legal stuff as it caused chaos (which was great fun). Chelfing asked Timothy Westwood to record some voiceovers for a potential TV advert for help the launch of a new model. The big dawg agreed, smelling lots of money. He was asked to record a demo, which Chelfing then asked him to re-record in German, knowing Timothy wouldn't speak German. The words were written phonetically, ostensibly to help him pronounce them correctly, but also meaning they couldn't be cut and pasted into google translate. Tim, who loves the sound of his own voice, thought he was saying things like "The new high powered sportscar", in German, when he was actually saying things like "three pieces of furniture" and "3 b
ks" and "where is my guinea pig". The resulting audio was uploaded onto YouTube here. It is 100% genuine (his audio was sent from his BBC email address at the time) and, to this day, makes me cry with laughter. Anyway. That's the story.
ETA - Tim Westwood is the son of the Bishop of Peterborough and is 58 years old. Big dawg? Pfft.
Edited by The Crack Fox on Friday 23 September 12:39
Brilliant book Rich, made what should have been a long and tedious train journey earlier more than bearable!
As an aside, and regarding the production of VW Beetles in Dublin in the 50s, the plant in Ballsbridge was located beside the Swastika Laundry, which was originally founded in 1912. One of the most prominent features of said laundry was a (still-standing) large red-brick chimney, reaching about 100ft in the air, and decorated in the company's very distinctive symbol. I can only imagine what the VW execs were thinking on their first visit to the place!
Worth a google to see some of the pics, as it's quite a bizarre sight that still existed into the '80s
As an aside, and regarding the production of VW Beetles in Dublin in the 50s, the plant in Ballsbridge was located beside the Swastika Laundry, which was originally founded in 1912. One of the most prominent features of said laundry was a (still-standing) large red-brick chimney, reaching about 100ft in the air, and decorated in the company's very distinctive symbol. I can only imagine what the VW execs were thinking on their first visit to the place!
Worth a google to see some of the pics, as it's quite a bizarre sight that still existed into the '80s
The Crack Fox said:
Ray Luxury-Yacht said:
Rich, I don't suppose you know of anyone / any stories from the Irish DeLorean plant do you? I bet there's some brilliant tales to be told!
bks! How did I miss DeLorean?! I was at the "new" DeLorean factory in Texas a few years ago and have a ton of notes and some good memories. If I do an issue 2 I'll add it.Well forget issue two for a minute, come on, give us a titbit on here can you?!
Rich, the book is superb. The tractor factory is astonishing. Genuine lols aplenty!
I thought I covered a lot of miles, but you smashed that into a cocked hat! I'm more than convinced that most cars are thrown together in a manner which would shock most of us, and yes I say that while pointing at my company car, a year old Vauxhall insignia.
I thought I covered a lot of miles, but you smashed that into a cocked hat! I'm more than convinced that most cars are thrown together in a manner which would shock most of us, and yes I say that while pointing at my company car, a year old Vauxhall insignia.
The Crack Fox said:
Pommygranite said:
Hi Rich,
I'm one of the Aussie guys waiting on a book - any ideas when it'll be here?
For reference it's my 40th in 3 weeks and will be sat in my private pool in Bali reading this so waiting on it for a pretty important time
Are you the chap who emailed me, surname begins with an H? Book was sent last week, Post Office says it takes 5-7 days (as I recall) to reach you chaps up the sunny end of the empire. I'm one of the Aussie guys waiting on a book - any ideas when it'll be here?
For reference it's my 40th in 3 weeks and will be sat in my private pool in Bali reading this so waiting on it for a pretty important time
If you've not received it by the end of this week please email me.
PS - Bali? You lucky bleeder. I'll be in a shipyard in Hamburg in 3 weeks time. I hope your knob drops off.
No worries, she'll be right.
Hahaha I hope not my wife still likes it
I think Hamburg could also be somewhat 'knob drop off' territory...
Have been in automotive engineering all of my working life and seen some pretty horrendous tricks Knurling of oversized bearing housings was a good one, as was filling valve spring retainer stillages with good parts at the bottom (there was a sliding door that released them) cracked components in the middle and good ones on the top. The Ford SQA guys never did pick up on it!
Another area is misuse and abuse of production equipment! Press tooling gas spring systems filled with Oxygen by a night shift foreman (they contain oil) leading to a huge explosion in the press (Montego Door Tools). Cartoon style gas spring shaped holes through the roof at Dagenham, where a crane driver had clattered the lower tool whilst splitting a die! Never a dull moment in production LOL
Always remember going into the Frontera plant and laughing that most of the machines in the toolroom had HSE "Prohibition" notices on them! At the time they'd just installed a huge new Tri-Axis press and were unable to use it because the German manufacturer had allegedly used the wrong colour Earth wiring!
Happy days!
Knurling of oversized bearing housings was a good one, as was filling valve spring retainer stillages with good parts at the bottom (there was a sliding door that released them) cracked components in the middle and good ones on the top. The Ford SQA guys never did pick up on it! Another area is misuse and abuse of production equipment! Press tooling gas spring systems filled with Oxygen by a night shift foreman (they contain oil) leading to a huge explosion in the press (Montego Door Tools). Cartoon style gas spring shaped holes through the roof at Dagenham, where a crane driver had clattered the lower tool whilst splitting a die! Never a dull moment in production LOL
Always remember going into the Frontera plant and laughing that most of the machines in the toolroom had HSE "Prohibition" notices on them! At the time they'd just installed a huge new Tri-Axis press and were unable to use it because the German manufacturer had allegedly used the wrong colour Earth wiring!
Happy days!
hidetheelephants said:
People actually bought Maxus for real and not a joke? I thought they were just an elaborate practical joke played on postmen, horrible flimsy things with panels so thin they wobbled and engines made of toffee.
I sold a fair few of them to be fair, enough for them to ask me if I'd like to work directly for them. I don't think I could say no quick enough Trufax, as a postie driving an LDV pilot, I once managed to beach said van on someones mildly sloping gravel driveway. Due to the fact post doesn't weigh a lot, the rear axle had no weight over it's driven wheels and it just rocked from side to side while I sat there swearing a lot. I was stranded for a good half hour. What an astonishing turd of a vehicle that was.
Made me late to be back in bed by 9am.
Made me late to be back in bed by 9am.
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