Stupid things you've done whilst working on your car
Discussion
Made a bit of a retarded mistake today. Had the side trims off my car routing an amp cable. When putting it back together, i was doing up a screw in the kick panel. Seemed to feel resistance but wouldn't fully tighten. I stopped, pulled it off and to my horror realised i was screwing directly into the factory wiring loom. 
Luckily it had only frayed the insulator on one of the wires slightly, but everything still worked so i wrapped it in tape, went inside and abandoned the project until tomorrow.
What are your biggest offences?
Luckily it had only frayed the insulator on one of the wires slightly, but everything still worked so i wrapped it in tape, went inside and abandoned the project until tomorrow.
What are your biggest offences?
Jimbo. said:
"Just a little bit more. It's turning, it's...bugger, sheared".
...on the rear caliper sliding pin bolts on my Alfa 146. On a Sunday afternoon. After everything was closed, of course...
Working on my only mode of transport on a Sunday is definitely the most stupid for similar reasons ...on the rear caliper sliding pin bolts on my Alfa 146. On a Sunday afternoon. After everything was closed, of course...
Edited by Jimbo. on Tuesday 22 March 23:26
Was cleaning the carbeurettor on my bike. Its a gravity fed system. I put it all back together and fit it back on to the bike fine. I then make the mistake of walking away from the bike to do something else for a couple of hours, I come back it had pissed all ~15 litres of its full fuel tank on to my garage floor out of the carb overflow pipe.
Turns out that, not only did I not put the floater back in correctly which jammed open, but the fuel stop valve on my bike didnt actually work and was stuck in the reserved position with the lever actually spinning freely (I clothes pegged the fuel line to take the carb off so I didnt notice). To put the icing on the cake my dad had used my only jerry can and filled it with 2 stroke fuel. So after rebuilding the car, AGAIN, I had to borrow a friends can to fill up the bike.
Turns out that, not only did I not put the floater back in correctly which jammed open, but the fuel stop valve on my bike didnt actually work and was stuck in the reserved position with the lever actually spinning freely (I clothes pegged the fuel line to take the carb off so I didnt notice). To put the icing on the cake my dad had used my only jerry can and filled it with 2 stroke fuel. So after rebuilding the car, AGAIN, I had to borrow a friends can to fill up the bike.
The first engine I ever rebuilt. All went together fine, it was a Toyota 2-LT or 1-KZT I can't remember. Came to do the timing belt before it went on the test bed. All was good. On the test bed running well, feeling very proud of myself when there was a slapping noise and within seconds it was clattering, then stopped.
There is a dished washer behind the crank pulley, I put it on the wrong way round. Munched the timing belt and basically wrecked the engine. I don't know what I was thinking or not thinking at the time.
Lesson learned though and every one since has been good!
There is a dished washer behind the crank pulley, I put it on the wrong way round. Munched the timing belt and basically wrecked the engine. I don't know what I was thinking or not thinking at the time.
Lesson learned though and every one since has been good!
Oh and another one. I had a tractor once with a flat battery at work many moons ago. The battery was in the depths of the bulkhead. Both battery leads were black(who does that?) It was pissing with rain and couldn't be arsed messing about. I rang the "mechanic" at work to see which terminal was which as I really couldn't see and this was the days before phones had torches on them. The conversation went something like,
Me: which terminal is which?
Him: passenger side is positive.
Me: It only has one f
king seat!
Him: Yeah, well passenger side of a car then.
Me: You'd better be right otherwise you are taking me to hospital.
He took me to hospital!
This was in the middle of a golf course. Other green keepers heard the bang half a mile away! A piece of plastic stuck in my arm, battery acid in my eyes, the works. Not a nice experience!
Me: which terminal is which?
Him: passenger side is positive.
Me: It only has one f
king seat!Him: Yeah, well passenger side of a car then.
Me: You'd better be right otherwise you are taking me to hospital.
He took me to hospital!
This was in the middle of a golf course. Other green keepers heard the bang half a mile away! A piece of plastic stuck in my arm, battery acid in my eyes, the works. Not a nice experience!
I seem to remember someone on here posting to ask what the circular free spinning thing was, left over after changing the clutch on their Clio(?)
After a few people wondering whether DIY changing a clutch was really a good idea based on the question being asked, it transpired that the mystery object was a bearing of sorts...
...from the trolley jack that was used to get the car in the air.
After a few people wondering whether DIY changing a clutch was really a good idea based on the question being asked, it transpired that the mystery object was a bearing of sorts...
...from the trolley jack that was used to get the car in the air.
Changing front exhaust box, with the car on a mate's ramp.
Reach up, start it, check for blows, and leave it idling to warm and cure the goop as I lower the ramp.
Get it down to ground level, and wonder why the oil filler is open.
Then notice the sump plug sat next to the new oil filter on the ramp arm...
Reach up, start it, check for blows, and leave it idling to warm and cure the goop as I lower the ramp.
Get it down to ground level, and wonder why the oil filler is open.
Then notice the sump plug sat next to the new oil filter on the ramp arm...
Many years ago on the driveway, sitting on the offside wheel of a Triumph spitfire, whilst cleaning the top of the block to receive a new head gasket. All the push rod tubes and oil ways had been bunged to prevent debris from dropping down them. But, then I had the `bright' idea of taking the bung out of the oil way, after re-connecting the battery (but not screwed on) and turning the engine over on the under bonnet solenoid, (to use the pumping oil to ensure the oil way was `completely' clear, before re fitting the head)
Forgot that the car had been left in gear but with the park brake left off, when checking the valve operation earlier that day.
Trying to walk crabwise, whilst sitting on a rotating offside wheel, trying to stop the car by trying to reach and pull off a battery terminal at the same time, is not only quite hard to do, but also looked absolutely ridiculous. Just managed to get the terminal off before the car ran into the garage door!
Forgot that the car had been left in gear but with the park brake left off, when checking the valve operation earlier that day.
Trying to walk crabwise, whilst sitting on a rotating offside wheel, trying to stop the car by trying to reach and pull off a battery terminal at the same time, is not only quite hard to do, but also looked absolutely ridiculous. Just managed to get the terminal off before the car ran into the garage door!
Oh the talk of scars just sparked (pun intended) another memory.
Working on my old Pulsar GTiR, the ally intercooler pipework flew straight over the top of the battery, was fiddling about under the bonnet doing something, wearing a metal wrist watch, I somehow managed to short the battery terminals with the intercooler piping in combination with my watch, the watch super heated itself in a matter of milliseconds and burnt itself into my wrist, still got the scar, well over a decade ago that was.
A few of the links on the watch strap actually had melted pits where it had been arcing across, so a decent temperature.
The watch still works.
I also self tattooed one of my knuckles when I slipped off a bolt onto a sharp oily bracket, still got a black line, again that was a good few years ago now.
Working on my old Pulsar GTiR, the ally intercooler pipework flew straight over the top of the battery, was fiddling about under the bonnet doing something, wearing a metal wrist watch, I somehow managed to short the battery terminals with the intercooler piping in combination with my watch, the watch super heated itself in a matter of milliseconds and burnt itself into my wrist, still got the scar, well over a decade ago that was.
A few of the links on the watch strap actually had melted pits where it had been arcing across, so a decent temperature.
The watch still works.
I also self tattooed one of my knuckles when I slipped off a bolt onto a sharp oily bracket, still got a black line, again that was a good few years ago now.
Routing a cable down the A-Pillar between the pillar and the glass, but didn't want to remove the trim. Half way down there's a bit of resistance, no problem just push a bit harder.... *CRACK* time for a new windscreen 
Trying to pop out a small plastic cover hiding a screw on an interior panel. Very tight fit, need a sharp blade to prize it out. I've got my handy swiss army knife so no problem, just push the blade in... *SNAP* folding knife shuts around my finger while I'm pushing far too hard. I saw my bone
Common fault on an old Mondeo 2.5 V6 - dry solder joint on a circuit board needs fixed. Why pay £200 for a new part, I can do it myself with a £20 soldering kit. Long story short... Did you know that if you stab your hand with a hot, sharp solder iron tip - the wound will basically cauterise itself and not bleed. It'll hurt, but it won't bleed.
Lacetti bonnet won't click shut. That's weird, I'll just try pushing it down. Nope, try harder. And again. and again. Hmm not working, it must need some oil. Wait... why does the front of my bonnet look like someone's attacked it with a golf bat? Didn't realise a Lacetti's bonnet is made of tin foil
Trying to pop out a small plastic cover hiding a screw on an interior panel. Very tight fit, need a sharp blade to prize it out. I've got my handy swiss army knife so no problem, just push the blade in... *SNAP* folding knife shuts around my finger while I'm pushing far too hard. I saw my bone
Common fault on an old Mondeo 2.5 V6 - dry solder joint on a circuit board needs fixed. Why pay £200 for a new part, I can do it myself with a £20 soldering kit. Long story short... Did you know that if you stab your hand with a hot, sharp solder iron tip - the wound will basically cauterise itself and not bleed. It'll hurt, but it won't bleed.
Lacetti bonnet won't click shut. That's weird, I'll just try pushing it down. Nope, try harder. And again. and again. Hmm not working, it must need some oil. Wait... why does the front of my bonnet look like someone's attacked it with a golf bat? Didn't realise a Lacetti's bonnet is made of tin foil
The talk of glass also reminded me of another, maybe I should stop messing about with cars 
We were putting polycarb windows in our E36 track car, did the side windows no problem, the rear is bonded in, so we cut the vast majority of the bond with fishing line, just had a tiny little bit left, I thought it would be best to take a short cut and try to just pull the glass away from the last bit as it was flapping about by now, pull ....pull....SMASH!!!!! Rear screen shattered into a million pieces.
We spent hours cleaning all the glass out, thinking we'd got it all.
First track day afterwards, came to the first corner, hit the brakes, unmistakable sound of shards of glass flying around the stripped out interior.
We were putting polycarb windows in our E36 track car, did the side windows no problem, the rear is bonded in, so we cut the vast majority of the bond with fishing line, just had a tiny little bit left, I thought it would be best to take a short cut and try to just pull the glass away from the last bit as it was flapping about by now, pull ....pull....SMASH!!!!! Rear screen shattered into a million pieces.
We spent hours cleaning all the glass out, thinking we'd got it all.
First track day afterwards, came to the first corner, hit the brakes, unmistakable sound of shards of glass flying around the stripped out interior.
Done plenty of stupid things working on cars. The most recent was on the golf buggy I use to ferry guests around on race meetings. I've pimped it up recently with big wheels and such, and was adding lights to it as it's a bit dicey in the dark.
The lights came with a cutout template for the bodywork, cut the first hole, went to fit the light and hmm, not a very good fit... managed to get it looking sort of right by screwing it down, test fitted the first light and it's pointing about 20 feet in the air. Odd. No adjustment either.
Unfortunately the lights were quite similar left and right... I had to climb into the giant bin at work to fish the bit of body I cut then spent the next week of evenings fiberglassing it back in in my freezing garage, cutting the hole again and then respraying the body to hide where I'd repaired it.
Moron.
The lights came with a cutout template for the bodywork, cut the first hole, went to fit the light and hmm, not a very good fit... managed to get it looking sort of right by screwing it down, test fitted the first light and it's pointing about 20 feet in the air. Odd. No adjustment either.
Unfortunately the lights were quite similar left and right... I had to climb into the giant bin at work to fish the bit of body I cut then spent the next week of evenings fiberglassing it back in in my freezing garage, cutting the hole again and then respraying the body to hide where I'd repaired it.
Moron.
Well, there was the XR3i with a knackered water pump. Forgot to buy the gasket with it, so made up my own with a cereal box. That worked. For about 10 miles.
Then there was the simple front disk replacement on the MG B, so simple I didn't even bother reading the manual, took everything off (you have to remove the hubs as well annoyingly) and put everything back on. Because I'd not read the manual, I totally forgot to torque the hubs back on and just tightened them right up. Think I got about 15 miles down the road before the hubs welded themselves together.
Forgetting to disconnect the battery while doing a starter motor replacement by the side of the road in wet. No electric shock, just a hell of fright when I connected the live battery lead up to the solenoid.
Getting my hand and arm stuck down the back of a mini engine while trying to put the speedo cable back on the gearbox. Again, this was by the side of the road, this time outside my gf's house in a quiet residential area during a grey day. Had to wait for an hour for someone to pass by and fetch help and a bottle of fairy liquid.
None of these are as good as my mate's though - he had a rover 620 diesel and was replacing the front pads. Unfortunately he'd been given (or equally likely, knowing him, ordered the wrong ones) 620 petrol or the turbo pads, I forget. All I do know is that they were bigger. Significantly bigger. Both in terms of thickness (to be expected) but also by area. Didn't stop him hammering them in until he could get the caliper back in place. Still wondered why the car wouldn't physically move.
Then there was the simple front disk replacement on the MG B, so simple I didn't even bother reading the manual, took everything off (you have to remove the hubs as well annoyingly) and put everything back on. Because I'd not read the manual, I totally forgot to torque the hubs back on and just tightened them right up. Think I got about 15 miles down the road before the hubs welded themselves together.
Forgetting to disconnect the battery while doing a starter motor replacement by the side of the road in wet. No electric shock, just a hell of fright when I connected the live battery lead up to the solenoid.
Getting my hand and arm stuck down the back of a mini engine while trying to put the speedo cable back on the gearbox. Again, this was by the side of the road, this time outside my gf's house in a quiet residential area during a grey day. Had to wait for an hour for someone to pass by and fetch help and a bottle of fairy liquid.
None of these are as good as my mate's though - he had a rover 620 diesel and was replacing the front pads. Unfortunately he'd been given (or equally likely, knowing him, ordered the wrong ones) 620 petrol or the turbo pads, I forget. All I do know is that they were bigger. Significantly bigger. Both in terms of thickness (to be expected) but also by area. Didn't stop him hammering them in until he could get the caliper back in place. Still wondered why the car wouldn't physically move.
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