Why are car keys so ugly?

[Jeenyus161]

You spend years of your life deciding what your ideal car is; ferrari 599 GTO, Aston Martin One 77, etc etc. You agonise over which exterior/interior colour combination is right. Which design/size of wheel do you go for? Do you want this extra, or that? Contrast stitching, yes or no? And so on and so on.

Finally, you've scrimped and saved your many pennies and get the chance to own that dream car. Perfect spec, low miles (or new), the sun is shining, your favourite band are on the stereo and there are miles and miles of empty Isle of Man roads to explore.

In short, you're in heaven.

Having parked up your car, you walk off, take a cheeky look back to admire your wonderful new purchase and head to the pub to tell everyone how in love you are.

So why is it, that the only bit of your car you get to take with you; the only piece of the car that can represent itself to the world is so frequently such a clear afterthought? I give you:

The ferrarri 599 GTO car key:
http://cdn.johnywheels.com/2016/04/09/ferraricarke...

The Aston Martin One 77 car key:
http://img0108o.psstatic.com/157206102_aston-marti...

At least the Pagani Huarya is trying:
http://www.revvolution.com/image/albums-1-43-s2-gv...

Surely, if you've spent more than some people spend on their house, you'd expect a decent key to take away with you? Tell me I'm being fussy, but Ferrari in particular (in my opinion) are failing their customers here.

Now come on, tell me all of these things:

1 - who cares about a key so long as I can do 23678mph in 2nd
2 - i'd rather they focused on achieving 0.00000000000001 Cd
3 - who cares so long as the blonde in the dress picks it out the bowl
etc etc

[Agent XXX]

The R33 GT-R key was as gorgeous and unfussy as the car was ugly and complex.

Simple, elegant, meaningful.

[TooMany2cvs]

Jeenyus161 said:

The ferrarri 599 GTO car key:

It's... a key.

Jeenyus161 said:

The Aston Martin One 77 car key:

Could be any ol' repmobile.

Jeenyus161 said:

At least the Pagani Huarya is trying:

Trying far, FAR too hard. Can you imagine having that in your sodding pocket? Seriously?

Jeenyus161 said:

Surely, if you've spent more than some people spend on their house, you'd expect a decent key to take away with you? Tell me I'm being fussy, but Ferrari in particular (in my opinion) are failing their customers here.

The Ferrari key is actually the least worst to my mind. It's a sodding key. It makes the car go.

Agent XXX said:

The R33 GT-R key was as gorgeous and unfussy as the car was ugly and complex.

Simple, elegant, meaningful.

That looks you stopped off at Timpsons for a copy to be cut.

[Monkeylegend]

Somebody with keyless entry will be along in a minute to say how ugly their keyless entry thingie is.

[jan8p]

Personally I don't think my key is too bad.



Although I see what you're getting at with the likes of Ferrari. Aston though, aren't their latest keys a solid piece of glass?

[johnnnnnnyy]

Because most will be taken from the parts bin of their 'mother companies' and adapted, as per Aston Key (Ford).

[Ste1987]

johnnnnnnyy said:

Because most will be taken from the parts bin of their 'mother companies' and adapted, as per Aston Key (Ford).

I recall seeing an Aston key on Top Gear that was from Volvo

[Gad-Westy]

johnnnnnnyy said:

Because most will be taken from the parts bin of their 'mother companies' and adapted, as per Aston Key (Ford).

In Aston's case, I understand they also rebranded it an 'Emotional Control Unit'. Keys are for plebs!

My favourite emotional control unit:

[Agent XXX]

TooMany2cvs said:

That looks you stopped off at Timpsons for a copy to be cut.

one piece titanium if i recall. was lovely. very tactile.

[Riley Blue]

Yesterday someone thought the same: http://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&a...

[AMGJocky]

I've never really thought much about car keys.

Do really love the McLaren keys though!

[Ex Boy Racer]

Or... why can't keys do more than just work a car?

Open a bottle?
Release a shopping trolley by replacing a £ coin?
Store data?
etc

A multi-purpose key would be brilliant!

[tankplanker]

The current XC90's fobs aren't that bad:

The outer shell is removable and can be swapped with different leather/wood/metal cases.

The new Mini keyless fob is similar, but rather hiddeous:

[Jeenyus161]

tankplanker said:

The current XC90's fobs aren't that bad:

The outer shell is removable and can be swapped with different leather/wood/metal cases.

The new Mini keyless fob is similar, but rather hiddeous:

I do quite like that XC90 one. I'm sure there are a few examples of ones that are reasonable, but for the most part they are fugly! Also agree with the notion of them doing more. App to monitor MPG etc? More functions like seat warmers etc?

I'm just saying that if you can get a piece of flappy plastic on your front wing that'll deform to channel air one way or another dependent on your speed, why can't your key look less like something that unlocks a storage bin??

[Theophany]

Agent XXX said:

The R33 GT-R key was as gorgeous and unfussy as the car was ugly and complex.

Simple, elegant, meaningful.

Love that.

The current Porsche ones are a bit marmite.

[Bonefish Blues]

Gad-Westy said:

My favourite emotional control unit:

This one, absolutely.

[SuperchargedVR6]

Jeenyus161 said:

Surely, if you've spent more than some people spend on their house, you'd expect a decent key to take away with you? Tell me I'm being fussy, but Ferrari in particular (in my opinion) are failing their customers here.

I see your point. The Ferrari key is an especially lame effort given the pedigree and price of their cars. You wouldn't be in a hurry to plonk that miserable piece of plastic down onto bar top would you?

Houses are an interesting one though.

This would at least prick up some interest on the bar counter:



Whereas this would not......but it could open the door to a £5M mansion!

[jan8p]

SuperchargedVR6 said:

I see your point. The Ferrari key is an especially lame effort given the pedigree and price of their cars. You wouldn't be in a hurry to plonk that miserable piece of plastic down onto bar top would you?

Houses are an interesting one though.

This would at least prick up some interest on the bar counter:

If you plonked that down on the bar, wouldn't people just think you're just some idiot who's brought a toy car to the pub?

Some child would steal it and it'd cost you about £5k for a replacement.

[Jeenyus161]

jan8p said:

If you plonked that down on the bar, wouldn't people just think you're just some idiot who's brought a toy car to the pub?

Some child would steal it and it'd cost you about £5k for a replacement.

hahaha

[EnglishTony]

Bonefish Blues said:

Gad-Westy said:

My favourite emotional control unit:

This one, absolutely.

Pity it has the initials AH on it.

The one I had would open the door on my father's 944 but wouldn't start it. His key would do both with the Golf though.

The Ferrari key looks like you could use it for your daughter's Fiat.

With the exception of the GTR key which presumably fits the PM's wife's Micra the others are all far too big to fit in a pocket.

I want an app on my phone which uses NFC to open the car and a button to start it.

Is that too much too ask in the 21Century?