Cars so ugly you do a double-take..
Discussion
The worst offender by far, in that it misses expectations so badly, is the Ferrari F40. It's a horrendous-looking pile of crap. There isn't a single angle from which it isn't retina-burningly hideous. Everything about it is wrong. The proportions are crap. The detailing is woeful. The nose is weirdly droopy, with those huge light units - and then pop-ups up above them! The tail is all boxy and weird, doesn't link to the rest of the car at all well, and the rear window looks like it's off another car altogether, nailed on as an afterthought.
No, the F50 isn't pretty, and neither is the Testarossa (much too boxy and the strakes are awful), and the Enzo is an overstyled mess, but none of them get every single aspect so catastrophically wrong as the F40 does. Even the interior is horrid, and the noise it makes is just an unmusical blare.
The 250GTO is pretty gopping too. The grille is much too small, but then they've got that row-of-teeth intakes above, by the bonnet shut-face. Cart-spring rear axle too. The full-IRS 275GTB is much prettier and usefully faster...
Also, the 458... the lack of side air intakes unbalances it, the taillights look like nailed-on afterthoughts, the entire rear is just a mess - and who thought that gurning, grimacing fizzog of a front end was a good idea?! The whole thing looks like some kind of angry fish/insect hybrid. Truly grotesque from every angle. The interior looks like it's been fitted by machine-gun, with switches, dials and screens everywhere except where you'd expect and want them to be. The McLaren 12C is vastly better-looking in every single way. Even sounds better. But then McLaren started mucking about with it, sticking those stupid piggy little headlamps on it and calling it 650S, then we had the hideous 675LT, and there's been something else based off that... and the 570 is just a carbonfibre toad on wheels.
80s/90s Maseratis. The Biturbo etc were clearly trying to have a go at the E30. Now, as then, the E30 still looks wonderful, but the Masers were always hideous and have got progressively worse with age.
Jag F-type... very weirdly proportioned, and like the BMW i8, it looks like it's trying to take a dump. Except there isn't a 991 forcing its way out. The XK was much prettier.
The F-Pace. Truly unforgivable. Is it a Porsche Macan? Is it a Mazda CX-9? Is it a Kia Sportage? No, it's a Jag, according to the badges! You can't tell otherwise. A Jag, my arrse.
AM DB11. Too many weird slashes and bulges. And this is the DB9 replacement? Oh dear.
All current BMWs, but most especially the M4. Slashes! Vents! Intakes! Bulges! MORE SLASHES! What on earth were they thinking? I just want to go to Munich, bash heads together and tell them to go back to the E39 design drawings and just build that again, and to order the recall and destruction of all 2-series Active Turds... sorry, Tourers... along with the 5GT and X6.
Most Lamborghinis are pretty awful. The Miura's proportions were weird thanks to the transverse engine, the Countach was a piece of origami with wonky rear wheelarches, the Diablo couldn't decide whether to be a banana or a wedge of cheese, the Aventador (like the M4) is a classic case of the designers not knowing when to stop drawing (Hexagons! Hexagons everywhere! NEED MORE HEXAGONS!) and it's just stupidly wide. The Murcielago was the only one to be totally well-resolved, and even then, only on the later examples. Let's just forget the Jalpa and Urracco ever happened.
Audi Ur-Quattro, especially the S1 - too much front overhang, not enough wheelbase, all weird and boxy and horrid.
Pagani Zonda. Truly horrid in every way, most particularly the coupé, the glasshouse and roof of which appear to be an afterthought. Stupid too-tall wedge-shaped nose, splitter guaranteed to hit absolutely everything, much too wide, especially at the rear, nasty little bug-eye headlamps, weird proportions, windscreen too far ahead, leading to a dash that's really deep (and utterly impossible to read) - and when they got to the back, they just gave up and went home!
Can't stand any recent Alfas either. The 8C, 4C, Giulietta and Giulia are all equally revolting. Mind you, Touring proved it is possible to make an 8C worse with that dreadful Disco Volante thing. The Fiat 124 Spider based on the MX5 somehow contrives to look huge and hideous next to the MX5.
New(ish) Mk4 Renault Clio. They don't seem to be selling, as I almost never see them. Thank goodness.
Tesla. The design language is OK - but why did they need to have the proportions and bulk of a killer whale?!
And finally... the Volvo V60. The diametric opposite of what a Volvo estate should be in every single way. The new S90's rear is pig ugly, and the V90's boot is too small - the V70 was brick-shaped for a good reason!
No, the F50 isn't pretty, and neither is the Testarossa (much too boxy and the strakes are awful), and the Enzo is an overstyled mess, but none of them get every single aspect so catastrophically wrong as the F40 does. Even the interior is horrid, and the noise it makes is just an unmusical blare.
The 250GTO is pretty gopping too. The grille is much too small, but then they've got that row-of-teeth intakes above, by the bonnet shut-face. Cart-spring rear axle too. The full-IRS 275GTB is much prettier and usefully faster...
Also, the 458... the lack of side air intakes unbalances it, the taillights look like nailed-on afterthoughts, the entire rear is just a mess - and who thought that gurning, grimacing fizzog of a front end was a good idea?! The whole thing looks like some kind of angry fish/insect hybrid. Truly grotesque from every angle. The interior looks like it's been fitted by machine-gun, with switches, dials and screens everywhere except where you'd expect and want them to be. The McLaren 12C is vastly better-looking in every single way. Even sounds better. But then McLaren started mucking about with it, sticking those stupid piggy little headlamps on it and calling it 650S, then we had the hideous 675LT, and there's been something else based off that... and the 570 is just a carbonfibre toad on wheels.
80s/90s Maseratis. The Biturbo etc were clearly trying to have a go at the E30. Now, as then, the E30 still looks wonderful, but the Masers were always hideous and have got progressively worse with age.
Jag F-type... very weirdly proportioned, and like the BMW i8, it looks like it's trying to take a dump. Except there isn't a 991 forcing its way out. The XK was much prettier.
The F-Pace. Truly unforgivable. Is it a Porsche Macan? Is it a Mazda CX-9? Is it a Kia Sportage? No, it's a Jag, according to the badges! You can't tell otherwise. A Jag, my arrse.
AM DB11. Too many weird slashes and bulges. And this is the DB9 replacement? Oh dear.
All current BMWs, but most especially the M4. Slashes! Vents! Intakes! Bulges! MORE SLASHES! What on earth were they thinking? I just want to go to Munich, bash heads together and tell them to go back to the E39 design drawings and just build that again, and to order the recall and destruction of all 2-series Active Turds... sorry, Tourers... along with the 5GT and X6.
Most Lamborghinis are pretty awful. The Miura's proportions were weird thanks to the transverse engine, the Countach was a piece of origami with wonky rear wheelarches, the Diablo couldn't decide whether to be a banana or a wedge of cheese, the Aventador (like the M4) is a classic case of the designers not knowing when to stop drawing (Hexagons! Hexagons everywhere! NEED MORE HEXAGONS!) and it's just stupidly wide. The Murcielago was the only one to be totally well-resolved, and even then, only on the later examples. Let's just forget the Jalpa and Urracco ever happened.
Audi Ur-Quattro, especially the S1 - too much front overhang, not enough wheelbase, all weird and boxy and horrid.
Pagani Zonda. Truly horrid in every way, most particularly the coupé, the glasshouse and roof of which appear to be an afterthought. Stupid too-tall wedge-shaped nose, splitter guaranteed to hit absolutely everything, much too wide, especially at the rear, nasty little bug-eye headlamps, weird proportions, windscreen too far ahead, leading to a dash that's really deep (and utterly impossible to read) - and when they got to the back, they just gave up and went home!
Can't stand any recent Alfas either. The 8C, 4C, Giulietta and Giulia are all equally revolting. Mind you, Touring proved it is possible to make an 8C worse with that dreadful Disco Volante thing. The Fiat 124 Spider based on the MX5 somehow contrives to look huge and hideous next to the MX5.
New(ish) Mk4 Renault Clio. They don't seem to be selling, as I almost never see them. Thank goodness.
Tesla. The design language is OK - but why did they need to have the proportions and bulk of a killer whale?!
And finally... the Volvo V60. The diametric opposite of what a Volvo estate should be in every single way. The new S90's rear is pig ugly, and the V90's boot is too small - the V70 was brick-shaped for a good reason!
The Fiat Multipla cannot be beaten (any more ugly with the ugly stick). It remains astoundingly ugly after all these years. Nothing prepares you for it. No amount of exposure numbs you too it. I am still immensely grateful to mate's ex-wife for making him buy one.
Early 90s Mercedes with those double teardrop headlights. Humans see patterns in things and in particular they tend to anthropomorphise. Look at a cloud and we'll see a pig or a duck or our maths teacher. Look at the font of an MX5 and we'll see a smiling face. Look at a Merc and you'll see four doleful eyes looking back at. As Orwell said, 2 eyes good, 4 eyes horrendous, freakish, pathetic, insect. No wonder the front of the car looks like it's melting into the road with shame.
I have never understood why Mercedes is an aspirational brand. The mechanics may be fine but the styling with very rare exception is just awful. Wanton disregard for aesthetics - yes please, a double helping. For the last 40 years they churned out bland, ugly and graceless pomposity.
Some friends bought one. The dogs ate the back seats in protest.
Early 90s Mercedes with those double teardrop headlights. Humans see patterns in things and in particular they tend to anthropomorphise. Look at a cloud and we'll see a pig or a duck or our maths teacher. Look at the font of an MX5 and we'll see a smiling face. Look at a Merc and you'll see four doleful eyes looking back at. As Orwell said, 2 eyes good, 4 eyes horrendous, freakish, pathetic, insect. No wonder the front of the car looks like it's melting into the road with shame.
I have never understood why Mercedes is an aspirational brand. The mechanics may be fine but the styling with very rare exception is just awful. Wanton disregard for aesthetics - yes please, a double helping. For the last 40 years they churned out bland, ugly and graceless pomposity.
Some friends bought one. The dogs ate the back seats in protest.
I'm very fond of most RWD Jags up to the Callum era, including the first-gen XF. The XJ40 and pre-facelift XJS the least of them, though. The second-gen XK was lovely. I did like my P6 a lot, but it's not exactly a particularly pretty design. I generally like big Citroens and big Mercs, and pretty much every BMW made up to the 2000s - the last I liked was the E60. I did like the original Z4 and 1-series, but not the subsequent generations. I am especially fond of the E39. Alfa 156 and 166, very pretty cars. The Peugeot 406 is still a lovely thing even now too. Supercars-wise, I do like the Murcielago. Probably the best-resolved design ever to come out of Sant'Agata. I have a soft spot for both excessive American befinned barges of the late 50s and the little Panhard economy cars of the same era. I really like the Bentley Arnage too, and quite fancy a Rover 75 at some point. I also think the Bertone 308 GTB4 is prettier than the Pininfarina 308GTB... and I think the Aston Martin DB9 is the single most beautiful car design of the 21st century.
it is a very interesting thread as it proves that people's tastes can be so different.
To me the nicest Ferraris ever produced would be F40 (certainly not the Enzo, F50, 360), Testarossa and 250 GTO but some people think exactly the opposite.
One car I used to find particularly ugly and I was comforted by Jeremy Clarkson's opinion is the BMW 6 series (E64 and E63) ... but over time, my opinion changed and I bought one... and I find it nicer than the new one ...
A threadjack would be "what do you think of cars with no personality?".
For example would I prefer to drive and be looked at in a Multipla or a Renault Modus ? a Multipla, so ugly, it has character!
To me the nicest Ferraris ever produced would be F40 (certainly not the Enzo, F50, 360), Testarossa and 250 GTO but some people think exactly the opposite.
One car I used to find particularly ugly and I was comforted by Jeremy Clarkson's opinion is the BMW 6 series (E64 and E63) ... but over time, my opinion changed and I bought one... and I find it nicer than the new one ...
A threadjack would be "what do you think of cars with no personality?".
For example would I prefer to drive and be looked at in a Multipla or a Renault Modus ? a Multipla, so ugly, it has character!
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