How to deal with 17 year old driving dangerously?
Discussion
Hands up here, when I was 17 I drove like a complete prick, I had an old mini and treated it like a rally car, while dangerous overtakes were not really on the cards, going round corners too fast and ignoring speed limits certainly were.
If I think what would have stopped me from driving like that at 17 I'd have to go with letting him know you're checking the dashcam and taking his keys, then, if you see anything stupid again you'll take it again for longer, and if he breaks the rules again and b
hes about it, sell the car.
You have to apply some common sense, we all speed from time to time, but there is a recognizable difference between doing 40 in a 30 when its quiet and doing 30 outside a busy school when its picking up time.
Same same for any mechanical faults the car develops, I'd outright refuse to pay for anything on the car and let him know if he breaks anything you're taking it off him until it is fixed as you don't want him driving a broken/dangerous car.
Edited to add: Who paid for the car and insurance? If it is you then you might also kick him in the plums emotionally and tell him you're really disappointed in him that he's treating something expensive that you got for him so terribly.
If I think what would have stopped me from driving like that at 17 I'd have to go with letting him know you're checking the dashcam and taking his keys, then, if you see anything stupid again you'll take it again for longer, and if he breaks the rules again and b
hes about it, sell the car.You have to apply some common sense, we all speed from time to time, but there is a recognizable difference between doing 40 in a 30 when its quiet and doing 30 outside a busy school when its picking up time.
Same same for any mechanical faults the car develops, I'd outright refuse to pay for anything on the car and let him know if he breaks anything you're taking it off him until it is fixed as you don't want him driving a broken/dangerous car.
Edited to add: Who paid for the car and insurance? If it is you then you might also kick him in the plums emotionally and tell him you're really disappointed in him that he's treating something expensive that you got for him so terribly.
Edited by Mansells Tash on Monday 26th September 09:57
Some of the advice so far has been spot on. If he is contrite and prepared to listen then the black box & dash cam route is where I'd go.
Tell him next time he's caught the car will be crushed/sold and he'll have to buy the next one himself.
And take him on a few track days to blow off some steam.
Tell him next time he's caught the car will be crushed/sold and he'll have to buy the next one himself.
And take him on a few track days to blow off some steam.
Being completely honest here, the only difference between the OP's son, and me (and many others on here) at the same age, is that the technology didn't exist to monitor what I was up to.
I'd be sitting down with him, going through the footage together, and being as constructive as possible. Don't just say something is wrong or bad, but explain why. Remind him new drivers have their license revoked at 6 points, so if he was nabbed for just two of those speeding offences alone, he'd have his license taken, and have to sit a retest. If his luck had run out some of the others, he'd probably be dead. He's skating on very thin ice. That sort of thing. Frame it as you wanting him to keep his license and his freedom, and of course his life, rather than as a telling off. You could also tell him
When I was 17, the death / mortality argument, although perfectly valid, would carry far less weight than my license going, and having to sit a retest, because I honestly thought dying in car crashes was something that happened to other people. Nuts, but the truth.
I'd be sitting down with him, going through the footage together, and being as constructive as possible. Don't just say something is wrong or bad, but explain why. Remind him new drivers have their license revoked at 6 points, so if he was nabbed for just two of those speeding offences alone, he'd have his license taken, and have to sit a retest. If his luck had run out some of the others, he'd probably be dead. He's skating on very thin ice. That sort of thing. Frame it as you wanting him to keep his license and his freedom, and of course his life, rather than as a telling off. You could also tell him
When I was 17, the death / mortality argument, although perfectly valid, would carry far less weight than my license going, and having to sit a retest, because I honestly thought dying in car crashes was something that happened to other people. Nuts, but the truth.
Vitorio said:
What kind of car are we talking here?
If the young lad got bought a new shiny car, im sure he feels entirely invincible in it, and it has the poke to reach dangerous speeds.
Take the car away, give him a 30 year old clunker with a full 30 horsepower, and show him some pics of what happens to those tin-cans in an accident.
I was acutely aware that my mk1 Fiesta had awful brakes. In the long run I think this made me a better driver, though aged 18 I still felt fairly bomb proof. If the young lad got bought a new shiny car, im sure he feels entirely invincible in it, and it has the poke to reach dangerous speeds.
Take the car away, give him a 30 year old clunker with a full 30 horsepower, and show him some pics of what happens to those tin-cans in an accident.
I now own a mk1 Fiesta again and I feel very vulnerable in it.
I'm a bit old school.
Take the keys away and say nothing until he asks where they are. Then get the dashcam footage out and give him a rocket right up his arse. Tell him he gets the car back when YOU consider he's mature enough to have it. In the meantime - he walks or gets the bus (no lifts). Refuse to discuss it after that, just stay silent. He will eventually get the message.
I don't suppose you can thrash people to within an inch of their life any more, otherwise I'd suggest that too.
Take the keys away and say nothing until he asks where they are. Then get the dashcam footage out and give him a rocket right up his arse. Tell him he gets the car back when YOU consider he's mature enough to have it. In the meantime - he walks or gets the bus (no lifts). Refuse to discuss it after that, just stay silent. He will eventually get the message.
I don't suppose you can thrash people to within an inch of their life any more, otherwise I'd suggest that too.
Edited by zarjaz1991 on Monday 26th September 10:15
BoRED S2upid said:
Take him on a track day or to Oulton park
17 year old misbehaves by driving like a tool, breaking limits everywhere, and your response is to reward him with a track day... 
On a serious note, I appreciate the sentiment but a good educational talking to is required. Couple this with confiscation of the keys for a set period of time, plus a reminder of the presence of the dashcam (boggles the mind he drove like that knowing its there) and the threat of black box insurance.
Johnnytheboy said:
I was acutely aware that my mk1 Fiesta had awful brakes. In the long run I think this made me a better driver, though aged 18 I still felt fairly bomb proof.
I now own a mk1 Fiesta again and I feel very vulnerable in it.
I went straight to a Mondeo at 17. It does give you a bit of a false sense of security I guess.I now own a mk1 Fiesta again and I feel very vulnerable in it.
However, I was a very boring teenager. I was only interested in being a good driver. The thing was, I knew I wasn't, and so took things carefully until I'd got the hang of things, and even today I'm still pretty boring in the driving stakes.
I was driving long distances for work at 17 so that also focuses the mind a bit.
I dunno why I didn't have that 'rag it around like a nutter' urge. Perhaps I lacked a hormone or something.
I, like most teenage boys drove like a driving God as soon as I passed my test. Flat out everywhere, everyone else was stupid for going slowly etc. Luckily I never binned it apart from whacking a kerb once, anyway had I have been on a track day or karting or whatever it would have made me think I was even better and more invinciblerer
Limpet said:
Being completely honest here, the only difference between the OP's son, and me (and many others on here) at the same age, is that the technology didn't exist to monitor what I was up to.
agreed, got my first car at age 21 (was a late one), a BMW built mini cooper (company lease). The stupid stunts i pulled... Ive done plenty of "license gone, car impounded and massive fine" type of things had i been caught.Having kids kinda mellowed me out in terms of driving. And now i have my own car to take care of rather then a lease, i tend to keep a bit quieter still
Johnnytheboy said:
I was acutely aware that my mk1 Fiesta had awful brakes. In the long run I think this made me a better driver, though aged 18 I still felt fairly bomb proof.
I now own a mk1 Fiesta again and I feel very vulnerable in it.
If the lad in question is currently buzzing about in a mk7 fiesta, sticking him in a mk1/mk2/mk3 will really shock him most likely. The noise/vibrations, thickness (or lack there off) of the pilars/doors etc..I now own a mk1 Fiesta again and I feel very vulnerable in it.
Remind him that 6 points = bye bye license.
Any points or claims = huge insurance premium hike.
Aside from that - it sounds like threat of black box time - these things beep at you whenever you attempt to have any fun and I think some automatically increase your insurance? Threaten him with one of these and I'll sure he'll reign his enthusiasm pretty quick (hateful things mind...and probably the reason there are so many painfully dawdling drivers on the road?).
In other news - he's 17.
Many of the posters above have clearly forgotten what they were like at 17?. When I was 17, I got a £600 fine and 4 points for doing 64mph in a 30. That hurt and I grew up quickly...well, a bit, from that point on!!
Any points or claims = huge insurance premium hike.
Aside from that - it sounds like threat of black box time - these things beep at you whenever you attempt to have any fun and I think some automatically increase your insurance? Threaten him with one of these and I'll sure he'll reign his enthusiasm pretty quick (hateful things mind...and probably the reason there are so many painfully dawdling drivers on the road?).
In other news - he's 17.
Many of the posters above have clearly forgotten what they were like at 17?. When I was 17, I got a £600 fine and 4 points for doing 64mph in a 30. That hurt and I grew up quickly...well, a bit, from that point on!!
Edited by Dr Doofenshmirtz on Monday 26th September 10:12
FWIW, I think 17 is too young an age at which to start driving. Teenagers don't have the mental maturity to accept responsibility for the consequences of their actions. I would simply take the keys away and tell him they'll be returned when he proves he can be trusted to drive sensibly.
Limpet said:
Being completely honest here, the only difference between the OP's son, and me (and many others on here) at the same age, is that the technology didn't exist to monitor what I was up to.
That's absolutely true, but once you know about it, you can't ignore it.Our friends little angel wrote off his mums cars twice in a few months - both times at "15MPH" around roundabouts. His mum said it wasn't his fault, it was the rain. They only stopped him driving as their insurer refused to cover him any more.
Mansells Tash said:
You were born in 1991, you're barely out of school!..(can't disagree with your rationale though!)
Fair point. I've always been old fashioned though for some reason.I mean...a Mondeo at 17....and I still have a Mondeo today, albeit a newer one.....the chants of "grandad's car" still ring in my ears today. (Though if my mates and I are planning a long journey somewhere, guess who gets told to do the driving!)
Riley Blue said:
FWIW, I think 17 is too young an age at which to start driving. Teenagers don't have the mental maturity to accept responsibility for the consequences of their actions. I would simply take the keys away and tell him they'll be returned when he proves he can be trusted to drive sensibly.
Unfair. Many 17 year olds are mature enough. I was, and so were most of my friends at the time. It's not the majority that are complete idiots, it's just a few. Deal with them, don't spoil it for everyone else.
Riley Blue said:
FWIW, I think 17 is too young an age at which to start driving. Teenagers don't have the mental maturity to accept responsibility for the consequences of their actions. I would simply take the keys away and tell him they'll be returned when he proves he can be trusted to drive sensibly.
Really? You can die for your country at 18.... Ask the Police if they still run those simulators somewhere with a chair on a rail that crashes into the end, they really s
t me up when I was young, especially being told it was only at a crawl and should have been 10 times worse.Probably been banned for health and safety
You could also take him to a scrappy/recovery yard and check out the state of crashed cars.
Invite him to a meeting at 7pm tonight. Invite close family including uncles and grand parents and tell them they just need to listen.
Go through the footage and let him explain what is wrong, and what the implications were for each action. Let him know the seriousness of the risks he presents to other road users, himself and what impact that would have on his family.
Surely that will. Dan more to him than pass plus?
Go through the footage and let him explain what is wrong, and what the implications were for each action. Let him know the seriousness of the risks he presents to other road users, himself and what impact that would have on his family.
Surely that will. Dan more to him than pass plus?
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