Nothing handles like a rental car - a book of confessions

Nothing handles like a rental car - a book of confessions

Author
Discussion

Catweazle

1,125 posts

141 months

Monday 16th January 2017
quotequote all
Crack on The Crack Fox.

EazyDuz

2,013 posts

107 months

Monday 16th January 2017
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The Crack Fox said:
"IF YOU DONT SEND US THE MONEY WE’LL PUT A CURSE ON YOUR HOLE FAMILY
If the grammar is that bad throughout, I think i'll pass.

Ray Singh

3,045 posts

229 months

Monday 16th January 2017
quotequote all
Please tell us more.

I once put a hire car into 1st gear at 45mph - it sung a little......

anonymous-user

Original Poster:

53 months

Monday 16th January 2017
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EazyDuz said:
If the grammar is that bad throughout, I think i'll pass.
sic erat scriptum

Jimmy Recard

17,540 posts

178 months

Monday 16th January 2017
quotequote all
EazyDuz said:
If the grammar is that bad throughout, I think i'll pass.
I reckon that'll be a quote from a note he received, and it may be followed by '[sic]'

Bungleaio

6,324 posts

201 months

Monday 16th January 2017
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I enjoyed your first book, I don't care about the occasional typo or grammar error so I'm looking forward to the 2nd book.

Speed_Demon

2,662 posts

187 months

Monday 16th January 2017
quotequote all
The Crack Fox said:
"Over the peak we stopped for a photo, at which point the Twingo’s dash illuminated with ‘le spanneur electronique du merde’ "
Jesus Christ LOL laugh

ian in lancs

3,769 posts

197 months

Monday 16th January 2017
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what is the title of the first book?

eltax91

9,842 posts

205 months

Monday 16th January 2017
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TCF

I completely loved the first book. I will be buying this one for sure, who gives a st about grammar really?! hehe

Post us a couple more titbits eh, keep us tided over till the book is ready?

Seek

1,169 posts

199 months

Monday 16th January 2017
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ian in lancs said:
what is the title of the first book?
Cough...

V8 FOU

2,970 posts

146 months

Monday 16th January 2017
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Rich.
Get on with this NOW!#

And tales of towing caravans around race circuits?

ian in lancs

3,769 posts

197 months

Monday 16th January 2017
quotequote all
Seek said:
ian in lancs said:
what is the title of the first book?
Cough...
thanks - good use for amazon crimbo vouchers

AdamIndy

1,661 posts

103 months

Monday 16th January 2017
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Oh yes, please do post up some stories from this book! I love st like that!hehe

My first courtesy car went back after 24hrs with 2 front tyres with wire hanging out of them, a broken exhaust and a broken handbrake cable. They apologised for giving me a faulty car!laugh

Oh to be 18 again.hehe

williamp

19,213 posts

272 months

Monday 16th January 2017
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Early 80s, our family holiday in Spain. Mum and Dad hired the Seat version of the Fiat 500. With four of us onboard, the poor car couldnt make it up the ramp from the hotel car park. Perfect, my parents thought, for a trip into the Pyrenees today. That day could fill a book!

rambo19

2,737 posts

136 months

Monday 16th January 2017
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I think its sad abusing a car just because its a rental.

fastbikes76

2,450 posts

121 months

Monday 16th January 2017
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I can offer a story of our hire car being bitten by lions whistle


Last time I took the wife to SA we hired a Toyota Tazz (normal 4 door compact thing in SA) and during our travels I decided to stop at a safari park. Thought it would be a good place for showing her some wildlife etc and pulled up to the kiosk to pay. Chap politely tells me I really really should have a 4x4 or something 'more suitable' , I politely replied it was a hire car to which he smiled and took my money. Managed all of about 20ft before grounding out on the ruts and beaching the car on its belly , some pushing and shoving from the locals at the gate and we were off again.

Several scrapes and bangs later we came across the lion enclosure which was a huge fenced section you could drive into and see around a dozen battle scarred buggers. Pulled in and drove a bit before a rather large chap decided he quite fancied us. He sauntered over and lay directly across the road in front of the car which we thought was great, loads of photos and videos etc. What we hadn't spotted was the others coming up from behind us. Then big chap gets up and walks over to the side of the car and just randomly bit the tyre which he did like it was cheese !! Time to go, started driving out with a totally flat tyre flobbing about and they then really took an interest in the car and one charged right up to the passenger window making a small amount of poo come out eek

So there we were in a safari in a totally unsuitable hire car with a flat tyre which a lion had just eaten for lunch. We weren't allowed out the car while in the park so had to continue with the flat wheel. Not quite paying as much attention as I should due to recent incidents I found myself startling a rather large elephant by driving right passed him, who took two steps towards us, allowing a further drop or two of poo too come out. Made it back to the gate where the locals were are finding it pretty funny, turns out this lion has a thing for biting tyres ...cheers for the heads up boys rolleyes

On the plus side, The wife was videoing the whole saga so we have video evidence of her screaming like a girl and me, well cool as a cucumber whistle

Offending bugger number 1



Offending bugger number 2


We managed to throw the spare on once outside the park and had a new tyre fitted. At the end of the holiday I had the car scrubbed within an inch of its life by the locals and dropped it back at the airport. They seemed happy with the condition when checking it in so happy days haha

rxe

6,700 posts

102 months

Monday 16th January 2017
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Hire cars. Ideal when the terrain is so rough a Defender can't handle it. They're all automatic you know?

I remember as a young'un the mandatory stop outside Malga airport to remove the air filter on grotty hire cars. Gave about 0.1 HP increase and sounded a lot better.

MattS5

1,896 posts

190 months

Monday 16th January 2017
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Embarrassed to admit it, but I drove with a mate from Glasgow to Edinburgh and never came out of 2nd gear.
Was a nearly new Ford Focus with 2k miles on the clock.

That was around 16 years ago though, ridiculous in hindsight.

(and I read your Stelvio pass on another forum around 4 years ago and did the very same trip with 3 other mates after being impressed with your trip)

Vaud

50,289 posts

154 months

Monday 16th January 2017
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I flew to Geneva to house sit for a friend.

Hired a Sixt basic car. They gave me a BMW 325i (this was about 2009).

Drive carefully to get to the house. Next morning a foot of snow. So bang go my plans of a great drive.

Instead I made anatomically correct snow-women in my friends front lawn instead, in a deeply religious and conservative village...

rainmakerraw

1,222 posts

125 months

Monday 16th January 2017
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I would definitely buy this book. May as well, I kickstarted the first and loved it. hehe What's the ETA Rich? Get those chapters posted up!