Dealing with a phobia in a child.
Discussion
Our 9-year old has a phobia of the wind and rain, dating from some bad experiences with adverse weather conditions when he was younger.
We've seen a child psychologist with no benefit whatsoever.
He is a very bright child and it seems to me that his mind seeks to fill a void with something to worry about. When he is occupied with something he enjoys he tends not to notice that it's windy. I also suspect that he will grow out of it. However, we would like to help him deal with it in the short term.
Has anyone any experience with this sort of thing please?
popeyewhite said:
If he had a bad experience with the weather then your child's fear isn't irrational, so not a phobia. Look into CBT.
It pre-dated the actual experiences, they just made it worse. Two examples - when we had horrendous rain storms about 3-4 years ago he was worried the house would flood. We assured him it wouldn't. Literally two minutes later an Aco drain blocked and the kitchen flooded.Six months later, at sports day, it was windy. We reassured him that everything would be okay, then a strong wind started and a gazebo collapsed on him, with one of the poles hitting him quite hard (don't laugh).
So basically he has learned that adults reassuring him cannot be trusted.
I suspect what the psychologist did was CBT.
So said:
I suspect what the psychologist did was CBT.
It may have been. The idea behind CBT is to restructure negative thought patterns. If this hasn't happened then either it didn't work or there's something else going on. Could you try a Counsellor? Many Counsellors use an integrative approach which may suit your child better.popeyewhite said:
So said:
I suspect what the psychologist did was CBT.
It may have been. The idea behind CBT is to restructure negative thought patterns. If this hasn't happened then either it didn't work or there's something else going on. Could you try a Counsellor? Many Counsellors use an integrative approach which may suit your child better.We spent about £1200 on the psychologist. He did well in the sessions and she was pleased with his progress. Then he'd run up the road screaming because it was windy.
So said:
Then he'd run up the road screaming because it was windy.
Poor kid, must be awful for him. I'm pretty sure this is quite common behaviour and it starts for many reasons...shock seems likely here so watching of weather forecasts and preparing him, explaining to him in a fun way what weather is, finding a safe place to go with him (make it fun - hide under the kitchen table?) when the weather turns.. . and also a little CBT..."The wind isn't out to get YOU, the wind's blowing the bad weather away so the sun can come out etc etc".So said:
So basically he has learned that adults reassuring him cannot be trusted.
Maybe that's part of the issue?I don't think kids being scared of the weather is that unusual - we live in a rural area and our otherwise fearless 5yr old grandaughter really isn't happy when it's very windy.
popeyewhite said:
Poor kid, must be awful for him. I'm pretty sure this is quite common behaviour and it starts for many reasons...shock seems likely here so watching of weather forecasts and preparing him, explaining to him in a fun way what weather is, finding a safe place to go with him (make it fun - hide under the kitchen table?) when the weather turns.. . and also a little CBT..."The wind isn't out to get YOU, the wind's blowing the bad weather away so the sun can come out etc etc".
There was another trigger, he says, besides the kitchen flooding. His classroom door used to blow open loudly when it was windy; he was sat next to it. The headmaster had it sorted as soon as I contacted him directly about it.I am sure you're right, I imagine this to be a fairly common problem.
He has said that understanding weather systems has helped him. He is a very bright child and and explanation that isn't factual will be uncovered and add to his distrust of adult explanations.
Sheepshanks said:
So said:
So basically he has learned that adults reassuring him cannot be trusted.
Maybe that's part of the issue?I don't think kids being scared of the weather is that unusual - we live in a rural area and our otherwise fearless 5yr old grandaughter really isn't happy when it's very windy.
I suspect that a lot of children are afraid of the wind, we just don't know any others.
The usual approach for phobias recommended by most psychologists who deal with these things is gradual exposure. For an easy example, if your child was scared of heights you'd take them to the first floor of a building for a day, then when they're comfortable on to the second floor etc. With more complex phobias it can help to ask the patient to draw up a list of fear with a benign situation at the bottom and a very scary one at the top, and then work up that list gradually. The difficulty with wind and rain is that it's unpredictable, but you can still use the same approach, so when it's just a little windy, go out with them for as long as they can stand and repeat until they're ok, and then take it further. It sounds like the psychologist you saw was no good; there are plenty of good ones out there, but most will recommend the above approach.
I hope that helps.
PS - you may get the odd nutter suggesting an 'in at the deep end' approach - do not do this. A friend of mine was scarred for life by this and it made his phobia a lot worse.
I hope that helps.
PS - you may get the odd nutter suggesting an 'in at the deep end' approach - do not do this. A friend of mine was scarred for life by this and it made his phobia a lot worse.
So said:
He has said that understanding weather systems has helped him. He is a very bright child and and explanation that isn't factual will be uncovered and add to his distrust of adult explanations.
Perhaps too bright! 
Seriously though it looks like a possible anxiety issue. Most kids accept adults get it wrong sometimes and can take it in a lighthearted way when they do. It's dysfunctional thinking to dwell on this and build mistrust. A few long chats with an NHS child counsellor might be productive. Try one that that follows a person centred approach - very friendly and it's completely non-directive, ie your child can talk about anything they want and the idea is that over time he will offer up the explanation for his behaviour himself without any prompting. This approach often works where CBT doesn't.My niece was woken by the mopeds leaving the takeaway she lives above when she was 4, absolutely terrified her due to the racket they made. I introduced her to my motorbike slowly over a month, sat on it not running, then had it running but stood a distance away, then eventually she sat on it and started it, even gave it a big handful! She sleeps through now without issues. I think with what you're little one is having trouble with is sudden shock and a bit of distrust of adults from the incidents.
Fozziebear said:
My niece was woken by the mopeds leaving the takeaway she lives above when she was 4, absolutely terrified her due to the racket they made. I introduced her to my motorbike slowly over a month, sat on it not running, then had it running but stood a distance away, then eventually she sat on it and started it, even gave it a big handful! She sleeps through now without issues. I think with what you're little one is having trouble with is sudden shock and a bit of distrust of adults from the incidents.
My youngest, now 10, reacts to wind, thunder, fireworks etc. She used to flap about the motorbikes from the lads over the road (they have a garage they all hang out in - all older lads 20s to 50s lol). I explained that I found it reassuring to know there were always neighbours out on the street, even in the evening, even if it might be noisy, because I knew they were looking out for everyone else and would shout out if anyone tried to break into a car. Now that particular noise doesn't bother her as much. It's also the "out of control" nature that frightens some kids - what might happen next? So finding some story to put the noise into context and give it some predictability will help in some instances.
ReaderScars said:
Does he accept that windy conditions can also be great fun? Has he ever flown a kite for instance, or watched some kites surfers? Is he OK in water? If not could you get him into a floatation vest and then into water to show him how safe he can be?
Funny you should say this, I said to my wife we should teach him to windsurf.Don't know if this is a bit 'in at the deep end' but what about a visit to a water recreation place, hire a canoe on a sunny day? Then if all's well, maybe get him into a two man sailing sports dinghy when it's a bit windier?
Could be a cheaper way to gauge the potential for a solution to his fears.
Have you tried basic manipulation, like 'you know what, son - I'd love to see you in one of these Red Bull movies doing some extreme wind/kitesurfing - do you want to give it a try...? It would make me and your mum really proud that you tried it'
Could be a cheaper way to gauge the potential for a solution to his fears.
Have you tried basic manipulation, like 'you know what, son - I'd love to see you in one of these Red Bull movies doing some extreme wind/kitesurfing - do you want to give it a try...? It would make me and your mum really proud that you tried it'
Gassing Station | Health Matters | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff