Stupid things non petrolheads say....

[Triumph Man]

jamieduff1981 said:

PanzerCommander said:

Triumph Man said:

In Spooner's Britain, "Sport" would be outlawed as a trim level. There would be three trim levels: Basic, S, and SE. Then we wouldn't have people claiming their Kia Rio or whatever is "sporty". I have noticed recently some ridiculous looking Focuses (late Facelift Mk2) with a bodykit and narrow steel wheels. So narrow the "sporty" bodykit oversails them. The worrying thing is, they were factory spec...

Even at 30 I am sure I can remember when that was the case, the sports model of a particular car had the most powerful petrol engine in the range plus "sporty" styling cues like the bigger alloys.

One of our old daily drivers is a relatively small engined model which we bought back when my wife was young enough to be uninsurable on supercharged V8s, thus we ended up with a little 3.0 Sport rather than the 4.2 supercharged. I wanted the sport trim because neither of us like chrome, soft rides, nor do we find the wide/flat "comfort" seats in most "comfort" trims either supportive or comfortable.

My first car when I was 21 was a diesel with sportyish cues at the time such as half leather and slightly bigger alloys which was nice for a young lad. Again, insurance and running costs of the flagship 2.0 turbo petrol were unfeasible for a uni student funding life through part time work. The sporty trim was great for me at the time because I was a 21 year old male, not a walnut polishing grandad but I just didn't have enough money to run the actual "sporty" model at the time.

I was blessed with a good head on my shoulders and with some hard work I make rather a lot more money than most thus I can afford to buy and run big engines, but I haven't forgotten where I came from. Most people who proclaim such nonsense as above merely demonstrate a lack of breadth of thought since they can't see an appeal in something themselves and therefore object to its existance.

Fair enough, I just prefer the Wolf in Sheep's clothing approach.

[Cotty]

I hear the only reason the Bloodhound SSC is so long is because the gearbox takes up most of the car. Its only a 1.6l engine

[aka_kerrly]

PHmember said:

RSteve said:

My girlfriend, sadly.

She had the idea that each gear represented the speed you should be in. So, for example, 1st is 0-10mph, 2nd is 10-20mph, 3rd 30-40mph, 4th 40-50mph and so forth.

Suddenly the Fast & Furious films make a lot more sense.

Does not compute.

F&F driver, 1st , 2nd, 3rd, 4th,NOS, 5th, 4th,NOS ,5th, 6th, 5th,NOS, 6th, 7th,NOS, 6th, 7th, SPIN 2nd, 3rd, 2nd, 3rd, 4th,NOS, 3rd, 4th, 3rd, 5th and WIN RACE , bearing in mind all of this takes place over 1 mile and the car doesn't go over 60mph.

[PHmember]

aka_kerrly said:

Does not compute.

F&F driver, 1st , 2nd, 3rd, 4th,NOS, 5th, 4th,NOS ,5th, 6th, 5th,NOS, 6th, 7th,NOS, 6th, 7th, SPIN 2nd, 3rd, 2nd, 3rd, 4th,NOS, 3rd, 4th, 3rd, 5th and WIN RACE , bearing in mind all of this takes place over 1 mile and the car doesn't go over 60mph.

You cheated by googling the script didn't you

[trashbat]

That's an overly simplistic view. It has a lot more subtlety hidden under the surface.

Like:

IF NOT WIN RACE THEN PRINT "DANGER TO MANIFOLD"

[Boxer87]

Regarding a bmw 116i

When commenting how slow it is, i got the following reply-

"It's fast when I get it in 6th gear"

[CYMR0]

Boxer87 said:

Regarding a bmw 116i

When commenting how slow it is, i got the following reply-

"It's fast when I get it in 6th gear"

Depends ... if you've been ragging it all the way to get there, it will be going fast.

If you're in sixth at 40 then no, it won't (ever?) be.

[RSteve]

Cotty said:

Ask her which gear she should be in to drive at the speed limit of 70mph

As mentioned a page or so ago, 5th would be 50+

[Dr Jekyll]

Must admit I preferred my instructors principle back in the 70s. 'Only change gear when you can't think of anything more useful to do'.

[over_the_hill]

Dr Jekyll said:

Must admit I preferred my instructors principle back in the 70s. 'Only change gear when you can't think of anything more useful to do'.

There is an element of sense in that. If you are turning a corner, negotiating any other hazard, overtaking etc. then you shouldn't really be changing gear in the middle of it.

[Halmyre]

PHmember said:

aka_kerrly said:

Does not compute.

F&F driver, 1st , 2nd, 3rd, 4th,NOS, 5th, 4th,NOS ,5th, 6th, 5th,NOS, 6th, 7th,NOS, 6th, 7th, SPIN 2nd, 3rd, 2nd, 3rd, 4th,NOS, 3rd, 4th, 3rd, 5th and WIN RACE , bearing in mind all of this takes place over 1 mile and the car doesn't go over 60mph.

You cheated by googling the script didn't you

F&F has *scripts*?!?

[ORD]

over_the_hill said:

Dr Jekyll said:

Must admit I preferred my instructors principle back in the 70s. 'Only change gear when you can't think of anything more useful to do'.

There is an element of sense in that. If you are turning a corner, negotiating any other hazard, overtaking etc. then you shouldn't really be changing gear in the middle of it.

I know plenty of people that put in the clutch around a corner and don't even change gear. It appears to be thought "safe" to have no drive at the wheels. Probably part of the Brake philosophy that the loud pedal is pure danger. To me, it feels unstable and unsafe even easing completely off the throttle, let alone putting in the clutch (RWD - less so in FWD cars).

[Boxer87]

CYMR0 said:

Boxer87 said:

Regarding a bmw 116i

When commenting how slow it is, i got the following reply-

"It's fast when I get it in 6th gear"

Depends ... if you've been ragging it all the way to get there, it will be going fast.

If you're in sixth at 40 then no, it won't (ever?) be.

Trust me the car is slow as poo! I've driven it!

She has no concept of speed, she thinks it's fast because eventually it'll be doing 90mph. Slowest car I've driven lol but ride and handling is on point!

[irocfan]

leafspring said:

had that in a hired Corsa... you can ignore it during the day but a big bright green fk off flashing change "up" arrow is a bd distraction in the centre of the dashboard at 1am on a deserted A1 (fking hated that car)

Edited by leafspring on Monday 16th June 22:26

sounds like a fun old driving game you can have there;)

[HereBeMonsters]

Early last year, girl at work bought a brand new Fiat 500. No idea how, because I know how little she is paid, but the £199 a month seemed like a bargain to her, to replace her Mum's old Civic ("it needs new tyres and brakes soon, which I just can't afford") with something shiny.

Now she's accidentally up the duff, and she wants to buy a small house with her boyfriend. Sold the Fiat to get money for the deposit, she's got his 07 plate Corsa to get to work with, as he commutes on the train now.

She's now asking my advice, as she's stopped making her car payments because "I don't have the car anymore". No amount of trying to explain that she has the value of the car in her bank account will make her see. She's asking for the number of a friend of mine who's a lawyer to "take these people to court to stop harassing me".

How she sold it with finance owing, I have no idea, but she got around £7k for it, so far more than she's paid on the finance so far. I think she sold it to a mate of a mate, and now thinks the person who bought it off her should be paying for it. She just does not understand the concept.

[motorhole]

HereBeMonsters said:

Early last year, girl at work bought a brand new Fiat 500. No idea how, because I know how little she is paid, but the £199 a month seemed like a bargain to her, to replace her Mum's old Civic ("it needs new tyres and brakes soon, which I just can't afford") with something shiny.

Now she's accidentally up the duff, and she wants to buy a small house with her boyfriend. Sold the Fiat to get money for the deposit, she's got his 07 plate Corsa to get to work with, as he commutes on the train now.

She's now asking my advice, as she's stopped making her car payments because "I don't have the car anymore". No amount of trying to explain that she has the value of the car in her bank account will make her see. She's asking for the number of a friend of mine who's a lawyer to "take these people to court to stop harassing me".

How she sold it with finance owing, I have no idea, but she got around £7k for it, so far more than she's paid on the finance so far. I think she sold it to a mate of a mate, and now thinks the person who bought it off her should be paying for it. She just does not understand the concept.

Wow...just...there are no words.

[StuntmanMike]

motorhole said:

HereBeMonsters said:

Early last year, girl at work bought a brand new Fiat 500. No idea how, because I know how little she is paid, but the £199 a month seemed like a bargain to her, to replace her Mum's old Civic ("it needs new tyres and brakes soon, which I just can't afford") with something shiny.

Now she's accidentally up the duff, and she wants to buy a small house with her boyfriend. Sold the Fiat to get money for the deposit, she's got his 07 plate Corsa to get to work with, as he commutes on the train now.

She's now asking my advice, as she's stopped making her car payments because "I don't have the car anymore". No amount of trying to explain that she has the value of the car in her bank account will make her see. She's asking for the number of a friend of mine who's a lawyer to "take these people to court to stop harassing me".

How she sold it with finance owing, I have no idea, but she got around £7k for it, so far more than she's paid on the finance so far. I think she sold it to a mate of a mate, and now thinks the person who bought it off her should be paying for it. She just does not understand the concept.

Wow...just...there are no words.

When I served in the Army, in the nineties the amount of people that had car after car on finance and effectively walked away was staggering. It caught up with them eventually.

[aka_kerrly]

HereBeMonsters said:

Early last year, girl at work bought a brand new Fiat 500. No idea how, because I know how little she is paid, but the £199 a month seemed like a bargain to her....

How she sold it with finance owing, I have no idea, but she got around £7k for it, so far more than she's paid on the finance so far. I think she sold it to a mate of a mate, and now thinks the person who bought it off her should be paying for it. he just does not understand the concept.

This tells us most of what we need to know, someone not very bright signed up for a lease/credit agreement they did not understand but luckily they have an equally dim friend of a friend who doesn't understand the concept of buying a car with outstanding finance.

You can see how this pans out, she has spend £199x 18(?) ~ £3500ish has now sold the car for £7,000 so she is £3500 UP, the numpty who bought it is going to be £7,000 DOWN and the finance company WILL get their car back.

That's rewarding stupidity

[Track Rod]

One of my favourites, when looking at sale adverts for Corrados:

"Karmann interior"

[Track Rod]

Colleague is looking to buy a new car:

Colleague: 'I'd really like to get a Golf'
Me: 'Why a Golf?'
Colleague: 'Cos they're really fast, aren't they?'
Me: 'Well, it depends on which model'
Colleague: 'No, I've been in my mate's Golf, it's really fast'

I.Give.Up.

..I love this thread!!