Stupid things non petrolheads say....

[Drive Blind]

overheard at a christmas party,

"Yeah I've changed cars, I've now got a new Clio, the 1.6 turbo, it's really, really fast"
My ears prick up thinking its the RS model
"and cos it's the diesel it's cheaper to run too"

and

Bloke 1 "Hows the Qashqai?"
Bloke 2 "Yeah, its brilliant"
B1 "is it a petrol or diesel?"
B2 "the 1.5 diesel, it's got so much oomph and can't see how you would ever need the bigger engine"


perhaps not stupid, maybe just a bit unrealistic about their cars performance.

[aka_kerrly]

Drive Blind said:

overheard at a christmas party,

If anything I'd say the two blokes represent the average view of how fast a car needs to feel to be considered fast, quite depressing really isn't it.

I was chatting to someone the other day who raved about how fast their Punto 1.2 16v was, keeps up with Audi S3s.

[VladD]

It's not what she says, but what she does. Now, which side is her filler cap on?

YouTube

[Krikkit]

VladD said:

It's not what she says, but what she does. Now, which side is her filler cap on?

YouTube

Brilliant, what a total moron.

[StuntmanMike]

Blown2CV said:

DannyScene said:

ewand said:

The amount of gear you cart around is directly proportional to your own perceived likelihood of breaking down My old car even has a supply of electricians' tape, scissors, cable ties in the glovebox, as well as jump leads, toolkit, spare etc in the boot

The fckwits I see scraping their windscreen with a credit card - come on people, it's winter. Buy a proper car scraper and/or some deicer FFS!

I can't believe someone using a bank card to scrape their windows upsets you enough that you'd post about it on the internet tbh

considering how available proper scrapers are, it's completely and actively retarded for someone to not have one, and to be sufficiently unprepared as to go hunting around for a straight edge in their pockets.

This was me up till this year, I even broke a bank card doing it, or a CD case, fk knows why, I bought a scrapper this Winter, but I honestly cannot tell you why I didn't do it earlier, I do hate having clutter in my car, perhaps it's that.

[Mr E]

I was concerned that the rear screen on the merc was broken yesterday.

I had neglected to turn it on.

[Cliftonite]

StuntmanMike said:

This was me up till this year, I even broke a bank card doing it, or a CD case, fk knows why, I bought a scrapper this Winter, but I honestly cannot tell you why I didn't do it earlier, I do hate having clutter in my car, perhaps it's that.

But you'll get a decent car for the summer?

[Blown2CV]

StuntmanMike said:

Blown2CV said:

DannyScene said:

ewand said:

The amount of gear you cart around is directly proportional to your own perceived likelihood of breaking down My old car even has a supply of electricians' tape, scissors, cable ties in the glovebox, as well as jump leads, toolkit, spare etc in the boot

The fckwits I see scraping their windscreen with a credit card - come on people, it's winter. Buy a proper car scraper and/or some deicer FFS!

I can't believe someone using a bank card to scrape their windows upsets you enough that you'd post about it on the internet tbh

considering how available proper scrapers are, it's completely and actively retarded for someone to not have one, and to be sufficiently unprepared as to go hunting around for a straight edge in their pockets.

This was me up till this year, I even broke a bank card doing it, or a CD case, fk knows why, I bought a scrapper this Winter, but I honestly cannot tell you why I didn't do it earlier, I do hate having clutter in my car, perhaps it's that.

i have an old man boot tidy!!

[Jabosoc]

Drive Blind said:

Bloke 1 "Hows the Qashqai?"
Bloke 2 "Yeah, its brilliant"
B1 "is it a petrol or diesel?"
B2 "the 1.5 diesel, it's got so much oomph and can't see how you would ever need the bigger engine"

I hired a Qashqai about six months ago (needed to go on a jaunt, E34 was broken, hiring worked out cheaper than a train), and it was not a good car. The 1.5dci engine was not enough to haul a car that big around, and the ride was crashy. The seats were alright and the all round cameras were novel, but sadly not enough to make me like it in the least.

My E34 is a 520i by the way, so it's not like I was stepping out of an M5 before complaining the Qashqai was slow.

[Horse Pop]

Jabosoc said:

I hired a Qashqai about six months ago (needed to go on a jaunt, E34 was broken, hiring worked out cheaper than a train), and it was not a good car. The 1.5dci engine was not enough to haul a car that big around, and the ride was crashy. The seats were alright and the all round cameras were novel, but sadly not enough to make me like it in the least.

My E34 is a 520i by the way, so it's not like I was stepping out of an M5 before complaining the Qashqai was slow.

Human nature being what it is, that's probably someone justifying buying the smaller engine

[Super Slo Mo]

ewand said:

The amount of gear you cart around is directly proportional to your own perceived likelihood of breaking down My old car even has a supply of electricians' tape, scissors, cable ties in the glovebox, as well as jump leads, toolkit, spare etc in the boot

The fckwits I see scraping their windscreen with a credit card - come on people, it's winter. Buy a proper car scraper and/or some deicer FFS!

I have a stainless steel credit card sized scraper that lives in my wallet. People have commented in the past about me using a credit card, although it is a proper scraper. Remarkably effective too. Just have to remember to dry it off before putting it back.

[xRIEx]

Jabosoc said:

Drive Blind said:

Bloke 1 "Hows the Qashqai?"
Bloke 2 "Yeah, its brilliant"
B1 "is it a petrol or diesel?"
B2 "the 1.5 diesel, it's got so much oomph and can't see how you would ever need the bigger engine"

I hired a Qashqai about six months ago (needed to go on a jaunt, E34 was broken, hiring worked out cheaper than a train), and it was not a good car. The 1.5dci engine was not enough to haul a car that big around, and the ride was crashy. The seats were alright and the all round cameras were novel, but sadly not enough to make me like it in the least.

My E34 is a 520i by the way, so it's not like I was stepping out of an M5 before complaining the Qashqai was slow.

Odd, the one I've driven was adequate - the engine was fine for, ahem, motorway speeds. It's not the best ride and it's by no means fun, but it's ridiculous to say the engine isn't big enough; it does its intended job.

[Mr E]

Rented one in Spain. Can't remember anything about it.

[jjohnson23]

You have a good job now and the mortgage is paid,why do you drive around in that heap?
Its a 97 Passat diesel I bought in 2002.Its that reliable and cheap to run it subsidizes the tr7v8.
When I was on my arse moneywise I always promised myself a decent car for day to day use.When I paid off the mortgage and got a better job it just did not seem so important.

[djohnson]

My brother in law told me he'd just bought a Merc C class AMG. Assuming it to be a C63 I enquiried as to whether it was the 6.3 litre engine or the newer 5.5. He replied saying neither it was a 1.8.....

[AAD44H]

"Is that a 1.3 injection?" - whilst looking at the back of my M135i. "No, it's a 3 litre", "st!"

[AW111]

AAD44H said:

"Is that a 1.3 injection?" - whilst looking at the back of my M135i. "No, it's a 3 litre", "st!"

TBF, it should really be a 3.5l injection, going by the badge (I used to drive a 323i, which was what it said on the badge).

Life was easier when all this wor fields.

[ORD]

djohnson said:

My brother in law told me he'd just bought a Merc C class AMG. Assuming it to be a C63 I enquiried as to whether it was the 6.3 litre engine or the newer 5.5. He replied saying neither it was a 1.8.....

It was a 6.2. Happy New Year!

[ADM06]

Somebody told me they liked Imprezas but not the "air gears" people often fit them with.
Figured out he meant atmospheric dump valves.

[xRIEx]

AW111 said:

AAD44H said:

"Is that a 1.3 injection?" - whilst looking at the back of my M135i. "No, it's a 3 litre", "st!"

TBF, it should really be a 3.5l injection, going by the badge (I used to drive a 323i, which was what it said on the badge).

Life was easier when all this wor fields.

IIRC when this has come up before, it has been ascertained that fewer models conform to the '323 = 2.3l' convention than those that don't.