Stupid things non petrolheads say....

[TommoAE86]

Set fire to it and see which is worse?

[Roger Irrelevant]

I have absolutely no idea where he got the notion from but a colleague was proudly declaring one day last week that his (totally bog standard) Golf had a two-stroke engine - 'latest technology' apparently. The people he was telling this to couldn't really care less and wouldn't have known a two-stroke engine from a hole in the ground, and it quickly became apparent that he didn't either. I can only presume that he'd been reading about the emissions thing and had got a little confused.

[Slow]

Friend told me he got a new fast car.

He's in college with me, previous cars are a ka and some peugeot hatch, so not expecting a lot. He's got one of those a1 competition edition things.

Pretty much the opposite of fast

[Slow]

Friend told me he got a new fast car.

He's in college with me, previous cars are a ka and some peugeot hatch, so not expecting a lot. He's got one of those a1 competition edition things.

Pretty much the opposite of fast

[ORD]

Roger Irrelevant said:

I have absolutely no idea where he got the notion from but a colleague was proudly declaring one day last week that his (totally bog standard) Golf had a two-stroke engine - 'latest technology' apparently. The people he was telling this to couldn't really care less and wouldn't have known a two-stroke engine from a hole in the ground, and it quickly became apparent that he didn't either. I can only presume that he'd been reading about the emissions thing and had got a little confused.

Fun game: what had he misunderstood? Let's assume the thing he misheard has 'twin' or 'double' in it.

[ORD]

May well be right. Ruined my game.

[AndyS2]

jamieduff1981 said:

Zero interest in bikes but I'll go along with the rest of it.

2 V6s and a V8 saloon. I5 pickup. V8 sportscar. The only letdown is the I4 classic which I wish was an I6.

Even my lawnmower is a V twin

Go on, what's the I5 pickup??

[ChemicalChaos]

AndyS2 said:

Go on, what's the I5 pickup??

I'm going to guess a Defender TD5

[Flibble]

ORD said:

Fun game: what had he misunderstood? Let's assume the thing he misheard has 'twin' or 'double' in it.

Might be a cylinder on demand petrol, which runs on two cylinders under light load. Do Golfs come with those?

[ORD]

Flibble said:

Might be a cylinder on demand petrol, which runs on two cylinders under light load. Do Golfs come with those?

Good guess. I think some do.

[jamieduff1981]

ChemicalChaos said:

AndyS2 said:

Go on, what's the I5 pickup??

I'm going to guess a Defender TD5

Ford Ranger It might be Fordified Volvo engine? I don't know anything about it to be honest. It's sold as a 3.2 but I believe it's closer to 3.1 litres. It's the biggest engine you can get in the Ranger. I just wanted the least-bad commercial vehicle for my Ltd Co. It's not too bad really

[Iva Barchetta]

Question to "Honest John" column on Saturday.

"I've bought an Audi A1, but don't fit in it.Can I have the roof raised and deeper windows fitted ?".. is the gist of it.

Some of the stuff on his page is comedy gold.

[Halmyre]

Iva Barchetta said:

Question to "Honest John" column on Saturday.

"I've bought an Audi A1, but don't fit in it.Can I have the roof raised and deeper windows fitted ?".. is the gist of it.

Some of the stuff on his page is comedy gold.

WUMs, maybe?

[Roger Irrelevant]

ORD said:

Flibble said:

Might be a cylinder on demand petrol, which runs on two cylinders under light load. Do Golfs come with those?

Good guess. I think some do.

I'm pretty sure it's a diesel he's got, I would just ask him but I'd risk another interminable lecture on how fking fantastic VWs are. What I reckon is that he learn this vaguely technical term to do with cars, though 'I don't know what that is, but no-one else will either so I'll say my car's got it next time I feel like spouting off'. To be fair it does sound better than saying that your car comes with a tank of what is basically condensed piss.

[ORD]

I find it hard to believe that anyone is proud of driving a diesel Golf, but there is nowt stranger than folk!

[Peanut Gallery]

Roger Irrelevant said:

ORD said:

Flibble said:

Might be a cylinder on demand petrol, which runs on two cylinders under light load. Do Golfs come with those?

Good guess. I think some do.

I'm pretty sure it's a diesel he's got, I would just ask him but I'd risk another interminable lecture on how fking fantastic VWs are. What I reckon is that he learn this vaguely technical term to do with cars, though 'I don't know what that is, but no-one else will either so I'll say my car's got it next time I feel like spouting off'. To be fair it does sound better than saying that your car comes with a tank of what is basically condensed piss.

Does his VW look rather like a Fiat 500 twin air?

Not really stupid but more annoying things non petrolheads say is "Why bother cleaning your car, it is just going to get dirty again."

[R8VXF]

Peanut Gallery said:

Does his VW look rather like a Fiat 500 twin air?

Not really stupid but more annoying things non petrolheads say is "Why bother cleaning your car, it is just going to get dirty again."

Or "When you are finished, can you do mine?"

[MaxA]

Right about now, I'm getting a bit fed up with all the advice that "you should get an SUV, you know".

Yes, I am aware that I am now living in Dubai, and that this city is built on sand, and I am also aware that SUVs are very popular, and that you can see out of them, but why in the hell should I buy a big, heavy, slow and underbraked truck when I want to buy a sports car?

[DannyScene]

Peanut Gallery said:

Roger Irrelevant said:

ORD said:

Flibble said:

Might be a cylinder on demand petrol, which runs on two cylinders under light load. Do Golfs come with those?

Good guess. I think some do.

I'm pretty sure it's a diesel he's got, I would just ask him but I'd risk another interminable lecture on how fking fantastic VWs are. What I reckon is that he learn this vaguely technical term to do with cars, though 'I don't know what that is, but no-one else will either so I'll say my car's got it next time I feel like spouting off'. To be fair it does sound better than saying that your car comes with a tank of what is basically condensed piss.

Does his VW look rather like a Fiat 500 twin air?

Not really stupid but more annoying things non petrolheads say is "Why bother cleaning your car, it is just going to get dirty again."

I'd certainly class myself as a petrolhead but I can't imagine anything I'd rather do less than clean my car, hence it has been cleaned twice in the 6 months + I've owned it, neither times by me

It gone quite a nice dark shade of red after a few months of not cleaning when viewed from a distance haha

[walm]

Peanut Gallery said:

Not really stupid but more annoying things non petrolheads say is "Why bother cleaning your car, it is just going to get dirty again."

Over winter I essentially only drive when it is dark and my car lives in the garage over the weekend.
Sometimes life is too short to clean a car just so other people can admire it in a train station car park for one day until it rains.