Marmite in a squeezy bottle is a bit Marmite

Marmite in a squeezy bottle is a bit Marmite

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Discussion

TorqueDirty

Original Poster:

1,500 posts

218 months

Thursday 21st April 2016
quotequote all
I normally only post about trivial things preferring to leave the big topics to argumentative types, but sometimes issues of such national importance occur that I feel compelled to speak out!

I am an adventurous chap on often try new things. The other week saw the arrival in the TD residence of Marmite in a squeezy bottle. I have valiantly struggled to use this evil thing for a while now and this morning was the last straw.

What in God's name were they thinking? How was this ever allowed on the market - there must be some sort of law against this level of hideousness. It is impossible to use, usually results in way too much Marmite coming out and heaven forbid that you should accidentally store the container with the lid pointing up - you will never get anything to come out at all, requiring you to unscrew the lid and use it like a normal jar anyway.

So all in all, Marmite in a squeezy bottle is, well a bit Marmite.

This is just another example of our proud national heritage slowly eroding away. First the Empire disintegrates, then our car industry has to be bought out by people who actually seem to know how to make cars, next all those poor banker people have to make do with sub £10 million bonuses and now this. It really is too much.

I blame Tony Blair (as I do for most things).

TD











Edited by TorqueDirty on Thursday 21st April 13:03

Hoolio

1,143 posts

220 months

Thursday 21st April 2016
quotequote all
clap

alfie2244

11,292 posts

187 months

Thursday 21st April 2016
quotequote all
TorqueDirty said:
I normally only post about trivial things preferring to leave the big topics to argumentative types, but sometimes issues of such national importance occur that I feel compelled to speak out!

I am an adventurous chap on often try new things. The other week saw the arrival in the TD residence of Marmite in a squeezy bottle. I have valiantly struggled to use this evil things for a while now and this morning was the last straw.

What in God's name were they thinking? How was this ever allowed on the market - there must be some sort of law against this level of hideousness. It is impossible to use, usually results in way too much Marmite coming out and heaven forbid that you should accidentally store the container with the lid pointing up - you will never get anything to come out at all, requiring you to unscrew the lid and use it like a normal jar anyway.

So all in all, Marmite in a squeezy bottle is, well a bit Marmite.

This is just another example of our proud national heritage slowly eroding away. First the Empire disintegrates, then our car industry has to be bought out by people who actually seem to know how to make cars, next all those poor banker people have to make do with sub £10 million bonuses and now this. It really is too much.

I blame Tony Blair (as I do for most things).

TD
No consideration for us old duffers either....I unscrewed the lid but ended up with more on my hands, worktops and trousers than I did on my toast...... I blame everybody bar myself.

clonmult

10,529 posts

208 months

Thursday 21st April 2016
quotequote all
"way too much marmite".

That isn't possible. You obviously do not like marmite and should steer clear of the product. I'd have marmite sarnies made out of marmite bread, with marmite butter if they made it.

EnglishTony

2,552 posts

98 months

Thursday 21st April 2016
quotequote all
Those new squeezy Bovril bottles are an abomination. It's probably some plot by Marmitists.

Mr GrimNasty

8,172 posts

169 months

Thursday 21st April 2016
quotequote all
In my experience 'squeezy' anything is just an excuse to make the product runnier by watering it down.

I put Marmite on like chocolate spread, after a while you can't taste it and you need more and more, it must be the crack-cocaine of spreads.


Timmy40

12,915 posts

197 months

Thursday 21st April 2016
quotequote all
TorqueDirty said:
I blame Tony Blair (as I do for most things).

TD
Whilst I would like to agree with you on this I'm afraid as every PH'er knows the root cause of all that is wrong with this once great country can be traced to the first screening of Grange Hill on the 8th Feb 1978.

clonmult

10,529 posts

208 months

Thursday 21st April 2016
quotequote all
EnglishTony said:
Those new squeezy Bovril bottles are an abomination. It's probably some plot by Marmitists.
If we marmitists were hatching any plots, it would be to remove Bovril and Vegemite from sale throughout the world. True Marmitists hate Bovril and Vegemite.

Robbo 27

3,605 posts

98 months

Thursday 21st April 2016
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Nice for the lips.

Alex

9,975 posts

283 months

Thursday 21st April 2016
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"too much Marmite"?

I'm sorry, I don't understand.

Timmy40

12,915 posts

197 months

Thursday 21st April 2016
quotequote all
clonmult said:
EnglishTony said:
Those new squeezy Bovril bottles are an abomination. It's probably some plot by Marmitists.
If we marmitists were hatching any plots, it would be to remove Bovril and Vegemite from sale throughout the world. True Marmitists hate Bovril and Vegemite.
I don't mind Bovril as a drink, but Vegemite is the excrement of the Devils filthy bowels.

EnglishTony

2,552 posts

98 months

Thursday 21st April 2016
quotequote all
I was brought up as a strict Bovrilarian & as such I can & will have nothing to do with yeasty toast toppings.




Roscco

276 posts

221 months

Thursday 21st April 2016
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Robbo 27 said:


Nice for the lips.
And no doubt for your shoes too. Does polish taste any different to the vile stuff?

krisdelta

4,566 posts

200 months

Thursday 21st April 2016
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It doesn't taste the same either - must be some changes to the recipe to make it more maleable.

james_tigerwoods

16,287 posts

196 months

Thursday 21st April 2016
quotequote all
Alex said:
"too much Marmite"?

I'm sorry, I don't understand.
clonmult said:
"way too much marmite".

That isn't possible. You obviously do not like marmite and should steer clear of the product. I'd have marmite sarnies made out of marmite bread, with marmite butter if they made it.
You know you've hit on the right amount of marmite when it's burning the roof of your mouth.

A jar can last as little as a dozen slices of toast for me.... Bad, I know. But the squeezy jars they're wrong on every possible level. Even when left in the correct inverted state, it never seems to come out.

The last time I had one, I got sufficiently pissed off with it that I cut the "top" off to just use it as a normal jar.

Pointless bloody things, they are.

Quhet

2,409 posts

145 months

Thursday 21st April 2016
quotequote all
Marmite is great, but not fking loads of it. It should be nicely mixed in with the butter (or preferably olive based spread) on the bread.
I don't buy the squeezy bottles of it because it's just wrong. The only squeezy bottle that is remotely acceptable is golden syrup, much easier to get a fkload onto my ice cream that way

Timmy40

12,915 posts

197 months

Thursday 21st April 2016
quotequote all
Also we marmitists can extract a speading of marmite from an apparently empty bottle. Part of the satisfaction is mining the last marmite from the bottom and edges. You can't do that with a squeezy bottle and I dread to think how much marmite is needlessly wasted as a result.

rhinochopig

17,932 posts

197 months

Thursday 21st April 2016
quotequote all
Is this one of those risk-mitigation posts so that the OP can point to it in the future and use it as a valid excuse for his wife catching him smothered in Marmite, with the family pet vigorously licking it off him.

OP you just need a couple more threads complaining how Tesco keep confusing vics with amyl nitrate on your home delivery, and how modern belt designs have a habit of riding up your trousers onto your neck.

silentbrown

8,792 posts

115 months

Thursday 21st April 2016
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Squeezy bottles for marmite are horrible useless things. They also charge about 25% more for the stuff in squeezy bottles.

Luckily, they're banned in the SB household because the silver lid obviously doesn't work with them.

http://www.theofennell.com/sterling-silver-marmite...

EnglishTony

2,552 posts

98 months

Thursday 21st April 2016
quotequote all
silentbrown said:
Squeezy bottlesl
It's anything but silent in those bottles