How the bloody hell did that just happen?

How the bloody hell did that just happen?

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Altabani

Original Poster:

2 posts

208 months

Friday 31st July 2015
quotequote all
So.
Mrs Altabani granted fiscal approval for a new car. I suggested it might be time for something properly nice. Mrs A agreed.
And the search began. In all honesty, I reckon that half the pleasure in buying a car is researching, reading and deliberating the purchase - anticipation is the better part of realisation after all!
Not to mention the weekend visits to the dealers to salivate like one of Pavlov's dogs over the shiny trinkets on the showroom floor..
The shortlist was fairly easy to determine. In alphabetical order, the contenders were the Audi TTS, Jaguar F-Type S, Porsche Cayman.
The outliers (Aston Martin V8 Vantage and Audi R8 ) were reluctantly dismissed on the grounds of either obscene running costs, or the worry and frustration of build quality and day to day reliability. Although I must admit that for my money, the AM V8 for is simply the most beautiful of the lot.
With the shortlist drawn up, we started to organise test drives. Now, I have to confess to some some preconceptions before we started on this part of the exercise. As a matter of fact, I thought that I had already made my mind up. I imagined that we would be putting the Jag in the garage. I loved it for its presence, stance and lantern jawed good looks. If Bulldog Drummond was a car......The fact that it sounds downright feral, bellows so loudly that you can hear it three counties away when you give it the berries, and barks, pops and growls like a dyspeptic pachyderm on the overrun just adds to the theatre. Bloody wonderful.
Which is more than can be said for the first dealer we approached for a test drive.
As an observation, I was quite surprised by the difference in approach to customer service exhibited by the different brand dealerships.
And Jaguar was the worst. The sharp suited sales executive we approached at our local dealership was not impressed by my Skoda Vrs parked on his forecourt. He was not particularly interested in letting me have a go in the demonstrator either. Despite the fact that it was pretty much the spec I wanted, and parked right outside the front door of the showroom. After a polite chat, I left and promised myself through gritted teeth that whatever the outcome of the selection process, that particular franchise would not be getting one red cent of my money.
We organised a go in an F-Type elsewhere. The car we did get to drive was a 4 wheel drive automatic V6S. It looked fantastic. Like a Hot Wheels toy scaled up to life size and plonked on the road. All long bonnet, muscular, taught haunches, and a really sinuous roof line that dissolves into an impossibly pert rump, I used to draw cars that looked this in the margins of my school exercise books. In the sheet metal it is just bloody gorgeous. Well done Jaguar. The driving experience was a real hoot too. I shared the seat time equally with Mrs A - we both loved it. There is no getting away from the fact that it is a big car though, and it was apparent in the first couple of hundred yards that it is carrying a few extra pounds. Obviously the four wheel drive system is not helping here. That said, it rode very well, the steering felt nicely weighted, and while it might not have exhibited the last word in tactile feedback, I think that there was enough on offer to let me know what was going on at the front axle. I liked the auto transmission more than I thought I would. I am not by disposition that fond of two pedal cars. I always feel a bit disconnected from the driving experience. But I cannot deny that blipping up and down the gearbox with the paddles was a thoroughly entertaining pastime. It gathered speed in an alarming and relentless fashion too, and the accompanying soundtrack made for a totally absorbing experience. We grinned and then laughed. A lot. I love the fact that Jaguar have built what appears to be a 1970's muscle car, given it lessons in deportment, dressed it up in pretty frock, and launched it onto polite society.
We took it back (eventually) having enjoyed ourselves enormously. But on the drive home I had to confess to feelings verging on the anti-climactic. I really, really wanted to come away determined that the F-Type was the car. But I found myself slightly disappointed by the fact that the Jag comes over more as the long distance GT. The weight it is carrying quite simply blunts its reflexes, and while it is by no means a slow witted dunce on the road, it does not change direction with the eagerness I was looking for. Rather than the sharp, focussed scalpel with which to dissect the Stelvio or carve tight, precise lines along demanding alpine roads, the F-Type is more the fearsome broadsword with which to charge from corner to corner, hacking apexes to pieces along the way. Its natural habitat I suspect is more the sweeping A road than knotted, twisted mountain passes. And actually, I am quite comfortable with that. The Jag wears its heart on its sleeve. It is honest about what it is, and doesn't make any apologies for what it is not. It is just simply not quite the driving experience we were looking for. I still blimming well love it though.
Next stop was the Audi dealership. Now, confession time. I am a wee bit ambivalent about Audis generally speaking. There have been the odd one or two that got my juices flowing. The RS4, RS6 and R8 for example are extremely serious pieces of machinery. And a V8 - any V8 - is after all God's engine. It's just that I have a nagging suspicion that an Audi on the drive will eventually and inevitably lead to horn rim glasses (with plain lenses), a black roll neck, and a copy of The Guardian through the letterbox every morning. Historically, the TT has sort of, kind of, half appealed to me in a lukewarm fashion. But that said, I really like what Audi have done with the third generation car. I think it looks extremely sharp, in a high tech, state of the art-cum-Bauhaus sort of way. Nice short overhangs, lovely tension in the sheet metal and a bold toothy looking front end. I was intrigued by the fancy TFT dashboard too. The local Audi guys were professional, approachable and most accommodating when it came to the test drive. They found us a TTS to have go in. Another two pedal car. S-tronic this time.
When I was growing up cars were either manual or (3 speed) automatic, so all this fancy marketing driven labelling for modern transmissions tickles me pink!
Anyway first impressions of the Audi were good. It looked extremely purposeful on 20" alloys, the build quality was outstanding, and the interior was just sublime. If you want an object lesson in how to design, execute and build a car interior, then look no further. This is it. The TFT display was quite astonishing. I am not a child of the Play Station generation. I struggle with our telly, let alone iPhones, iPads, and i don't know what else. But even I could work the Audi display. In about 2 minutes. Intuitive is not the word. And the presentation is brilliant with sharp, clear graphics. Anyway, we put the car into sport everything mode and off we went. I knew before we had got the car off the forecourt that we wouldn't be buying it. It just didn't feel or sound that special. A few miles later and genuine disappointment had set in. It is not that the Audi is slow - it isn't. Neither does it handle badly - it doesn't. It turns in well, feels reasonably well balanced, and in the manner of most modern cars exhibits a preference to understeer slightly rather than coming over as an apex hungry cornering monster. The build quality is exceptional too. But the steering. Dear me, the steering. I have never in my life driven a car with such numb steering. I could start trotting out tired and overused clichés about how the car felt like a giant arcade game. Turn the steering wheel and the graphics in the windscreen change all accomplished with little real idea about what is going on at the front wheels. And they would all be true. But the most damning indictment was delivered by Mrs A. She drove the car for all of five minutes, pulled over, got out of the driver's seat and announced that she didn't like it and we should take it back now. So we did. Interestingly enough, for all that this car had the top of the line super sports seats in it, by the time we got it back to the dealership, we were both squirming about a bit trying to get comfortable.
I was perplexed by the Audi. There is much to like here. But at the end of the day, for me the driving experience came up short. Some days later, after much thought on the matter, I arrived at the conclusion that the Audi is probably a wee bit too clever for its own good. I realised that I had spent more time gawping at the TFT display, fiddling with the various modes and being impressed with how jolly smart it is, than I had actually looking out of the front of the car and driving it. Which is not good on so very many levels. Overall, the experience was almost like a virtual drive in a real car. It is undoubtedly well executed, but it left me (and Mrs A) just little bit underwhelmed by its cold teutonic demeanour. In the end, I decided it must be me, because most of the road tests I have read conclude with positive feedback. It seemed to fare well in the Car group test against the Alfa 4C and the Cayman too. But honestly? I just didn't enjoy it. Telling also that I seem to have spent more time contemplating the on-board technology than the on road dynamics.
So onto the Porsche. I have never really considered myself a Porsche person. I can't even offer a coherent argument as to why not. It isn't as though I haven't drooled over some of their cars in the past. I have over the years found myself wondering about the integrity of some of their engineering solutions, and in turn been truly shocked by some of the horrific tales of personal expense incurred trying to fix the resulting problems. I was also a little curious about the response I would get from the local dealership, given our unsatisfactory experience with the lads down at Jaguar. As it happens my fears on that score were totally unfounded. The staff at our local Porsche centre were relaxed, enthusiastic and most welcoming. In fact after our initial visit, they were most keen that we take a Cayman for a test drive, and in short order we had a date sorted for the outing.
So, ideally for a first drive in a 300 odd horsepower, rear wheel drive mid-engined sports car, we would have had woken to blue skies, bright sunshine, and warm tarmac. What we got was grey, sulky undercast, heavy rain, and cold wet blacktop. Oh well. We rocked up at the dealership, completed the necessary paperwork and were introduced to a white Cayman S. Another two pedal car. The transmission on this one is called PDK of course. Cue more gearbox moniker related giggling.
The 981 Cayman has always been just a little bit under my personal radar. In the flesh though, it is a rather understated purposeful looking thing. While the Jaguar looks every inch the big, brash hot rod, the more compact Porsche oozes quiet, serious intent. If the Audi bristles haughtily with cold technical perfection, the Porsche reflects a more sinewy, old school approach to the task in hand. On a cool, wet and dismally grey Tuesday morning, it looked very good indeed.
Once aboard, the first impressions were fine. I like the cabin. It would be true to say it does not come close to the ergonomic perfection offered by the Audi, and the design and layout is at least half a generation behind the car from Ingolstadt. Let's call it more traditional. It does the job for me though. Got comfy in the car - a bit of fiddling and I end up with the perfect driving positioning. The view out of the windscreen is just a treat. The bonnet falls away leaving a view of the tarmac framed by the gentle swell of the front wings. It's almost as though the car is trying to focus your attention on the road ahead. It's like sitting in a Group C sports car and it feels special.
Off we go. As we roll over the speed bumps and out of the dealership, the car feels taught, alert and delicate all at the same time. The steering weight is nigh on perfect, and the eerie wail of the flat six behind us is music for the piston head's soul. On the open road things get better. Despite the atrocious conditions, the car feels surefooted and infinitely capable. It encourages the hoon and inspires confidence in equal measure. The turn in is fabulous, and I feel that I can place the car with millimetric precision. It corners nice and flat and feels light and nimble on its toes. Direction changes happen with no apparent conscious thought The feedback from the wheel is a joy - if a Lotus Elise is better than this it must be bloody astonishing. I am not a driving God, it's just that this car makes me feel like one. It is not all sweetness and light though. If the steering and handling is driving nectar, then the PDK shifters on the steering wheel are motoring Marmite. Just completely counter intuitive, awkward to use, and not particularly attractive to look at. I gave up in the end and left the transmission in automatic. Possibly the Sport Steering wheel with proper paddles is the way ahead. I have no frame of reference so can't comment. But this button on the steering wheel affair is nowhere near as nice to use as the set up in the Jaguar.
All things considered though, I really like this car. It is not loud and furious like the F-Type. It is a more considered vehicle and as a result offers a more deeply involving driving experience.
Mrs A summed it up perfectly. She drove it as much as I did and simply said "This car takes everything its stride".
She isn't wrong.
We took the Porsche back to the dealership. I was sorry to have to get out of it.
Now as much as I like the car, which is enormously, I am not overly keen on the cynical pricing policy that goes with buying one. The marketing folk would probably say we give you a blank canvas and let you spec the car you want. Fair enough - to a point. But to put a sat nav on this car will cost north of £2000. It's bad enough that you have to pay shed loads of money for a Sat Nav on a car which starts at £55000 in any case. But it's not just the Sat Nav is it? You have to fork out for an upgraded stereo and some other fruit which comes along with it - stuff that I don't want and will most likely never use.
"Ah but you see Sir, it will help with the residual value of the car".
I'm not buying it because of its future residual value, or to make it a more attractive Approved Used sell for the dealer network. I'm buying it because it's a brilliant drivers' car. I'm buying it to drive and enjoy, not stick in the garage for high days and holidays. But Porsche have you by the emotional short and curlies really - and let's face it a decision to buy a car like this is not predicated on rational thought is it? £60 000 or more to put a two seat, 170 mile an hour car on the road has little to do with logic and everything to do with the fizzing of the synapses in your neural pleasure centre. And the lads down at Stuttgart know that fine and well. Ultimately, I suppose there is a choice though - take it or leave it!
Despite my concern at the potential for financial ruin which lies hidden in the options list of the online configurator, a week later we went back to chat about the possibility of a Cayman GTS, delivery dates and specification. Not with anything definitive in mind you understand - just to get the lie of the land
The nice man in the showroom answered our questions. Then said if we wanted to get in the queue and guarantee a six cylinder car, we should consider placing a deposit to get a reservation on the build schedule.
I said that we would go think about things and get back to him, when right out of the blue Mrs A simply said "Give him the money".
Say Whaaaat!
And that fellow Piston Heads, is how come two weeks ago we placed an order for manual Cayman GTS, in GT Silver, with satin platinum wheels. And a few other bits and pieces. Including a sat nav....
We are waiting for a build date. And an invitation to the Porsche Experience Centre!
Can't wait.
Still can't believe the price of that sat nav though wink

Edited by Altabani on Friday 31st July 16:29


Edited by Altabani on Friday 31st July 16:54


Edited by Altabani on Friday 31st July 20:15

pete.g

1,527 posts

206 months

Friday 31st July 2015
quotequote all
Well done to you and your missus.

8 and a 1/2 years waiting to make a post has been worth it.

Make sure to drive by the Jag dealers when the CGTS arrives!

flow99

1,244 posts

208 months

Friday 31st July 2015
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Blimey, you've been on here for over 8 years and then finally post something, and its war and peace of the car world.

Congratulations. Not sure what you've done as haven't time to read it all, yet!

2010spy

1,916 posts

164 months

Friday 31st July 2015
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Well done - a great car and a great write-up!

GaryF

970 posts

253 months

Friday 31st July 2015
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Congrats. The exhaust sounds epic on the GTS.

PS. That was a long first post!

Pyrolysis

320 posts

117 months

Friday 31st July 2015
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An epic first post and a great read!
Great lurking too. Hope you enjoy the car when it arrives

Altabani

Original Poster:

2 posts

208 months

Friday 31st July 2015
quotequote all
Thanks Gentlemen.
Never felt that I had a car that was worth writing about before.
Although I really like my Octavia Vrs. smile
Rgds
Altabani

Solarized

436 posts

141 months

Friday 31st July 2015
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Good story and well done.
Hope you enjoy the car.

FarzyB

64 posts

115 months

Friday 31st July 2015
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What a great first post - you definitely lived and breathed that testing experience! Congratulations!

pete a

3,799 posts

184 months

Friday 31st July 2015
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Top lurking and a really well written piece as well, better written than the reviews in most magazines.

Beanoir

1,327 posts

195 months

Friday 31st July 2015
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What's he bought, the abridged version?

RBT0

1,476 posts

119 months

Friday 31st July 2015
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Can I have the name of Jag dealer and salesman?

Well done mate, I had Exige V6, Nissan GT-R and F Type in my roster on top of the CGTS.

At the end only GT-R left, but after driving both decided for a CGTS, similar to yours, but Rhodium, pdk, sport chassis, buckets. And yes Sat nav. :P

pete a

3,799 posts

184 months

Friday 31st July 2015
quotequote all
Beanoir said:
the abridged version?
Wanted new car

Tried a jag

Tried a Cayman

Ordered a Manual Cayman GTS.




robj4

390 posts

157 months

Friday 31st July 2015
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WTF will he write after the PCE day.


mollytherocker

14,366 posts

209 months

Friday 31st July 2015
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My IPAD ran out of power whilst scrolling down. Did you buy the Cayman?

Fl0pp3r

859 posts

203 months

Saturday 1st August 2015
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3 words for you:

Listen. To. The Woman.

(sorry that's four!) spin

AndrewsCayman

47 posts

117 months

Saturday 1st August 2015
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Superbly written piece by OP, I loved it! So rare to find people who can string a few sentences together these days. I wish I could!

TB303

1,040 posts

194 months

Saturday 1st August 2015
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Brilliant read - very well written!

The bit about Audi and horn-rimmed glasses had me in stitches as my colleague drives a white TT convertible and has the glasses with clear lenses, purely for show. laugh

Enjoy your car, sir!

Ozzie Osmond

21,189 posts

246 months

Saturday 1st August 2015
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Altabani said:
Now as much as I like the car, which is enormously, I am not overly keen on the cynical pricing policy that goes with buying one. The marketing folk would probably say we give you a blank canvas and let you spec the car you want. Fair enough - to a point. But to put a sat nav on this car will cost north of £2000. It's bad enough that you have to pay shed loads of money for a Sat Nav on a car which starts at £55000 in any case. But it's not just the Sat Nav is it? You have to fork out for an upgraded stereo and some other fruit which comes along with it - stuff that I don't want and will most likely never use.
"Ah but you see Sir, it will help with the residual value of the car".

And that fellow Piston Heads, is how come two weeks ago we placed an order for manual Cayman GTS, in GT Silver, with satin platinum wheels. And a few other bits and pieces..]
Well done! It was a similar story when I bought my Boxster S 981. Ended up with the car on the road for less than £50k and a £100 satnav from Halfords. Very pleased with the result!

Akajak

887 posts

239 months

Saturday 1st August 2015
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what was the PDK problem? are they still offering buttons as well as shifters? if so madness