Help with a worried mother
Discussion
black11s said:
So anyway, to sum up so far, the main advice is to tell the ex that she should be counting herself lucky I haven't got him into dressage, cheerleading or fishing...
Tea, meet keyboard.What sort of outlay is it for these sort of trackday events? My 10 year old nephew has had a few arrive and drive sessions locally but wants to step it up a bit more with people of his own age.
It was unfortunate that she was at an event where there wasn't an ambulance on sight while races were going on. How long before your son moves into championships where there is full medical cover?
Someone said earlier that a chat with Carolynn Hoy might help. I'd second that. You can quote all the stats you like but a talk with the sort of common sense she'd hear from CH would be far more effective.
On a slightly harsher note, if your ex wife is the type to have a melt down in the paddock then she's probably not the sort that should be anywhere near a paddock in the first place. I don't think you change change the basic mapping of a female of that type. It as likley to be a way of having a pop at you and using the other child's accident as a trigger/excuse.
Other than the suggestion above the less pandering you can do to that sort of behaviour the better.
Someone said earlier that a chat with Carolynn Hoy might help. I'd second that. You can quote all the stats you like but a talk with the sort of common sense she'd hear from CH would be far more effective.
On a slightly harsher note, if your ex wife is the type to have a melt down in the paddock then she's probably not the sort that should be anywhere near a paddock in the first place. I don't think you change change the basic mapping of a female of that type. It as likley to be a way of having a pop at you and using the other child's accident as a trigger/excuse.
Other than the suggestion above the less pandering you can do to that sort of behaviour the better.
gtdc said:
It was unfortunate that she was at an event where there wasn't an ambulance on sight while races were going on. How long before your son moves into championships where there is full medical cover?
Someone said earlier that a chat with Carolynn Hoy might help. I'd second that. You can quote all the stats you like but a talk with the sort of common sense she'd hear from CH would be far more effective.
On a slightly harsher note, if your ex wife is the type to have a melt down in the paddock then she's probably not the sort that should be anywhere near a paddock in the first place. I don't think you change change the basic mapping of a female of that type. It as likley to be a way of having a pop at you and using the other child's accident as a trigger/excuse.
Other than the suggestion above the less pandering you can do to that sort of behaviour the better.
I think you're absolutely right. Someone said earlier that a chat with Carolynn Hoy might help. I'd second that. You can quote all the stats you like but a talk with the sort of common sense she'd hear from CH would be far more effective.
On a slightly harsher note, if your ex wife is the type to have a melt down in the paddock then she's probably not the sort that should be anywhere near a paddock in the first place. I don't think you change change the basic mapping of a female of that type. It as likley to be a way of having a pop at you and using the other child's accident as a trigger/excuse.
Other than the suggestion above the less pandering you can do to that sort of behaviour the better.
Its a tricky one for all concerned. She's a wonderful mum, and wants to support him in something he clearly loves, but it goes against all her maternal instincts for her to see him doing something she perceives as very dangerous.
The problem lies with her lack of understanding about the sport. She once went karting - to show him she would have a go, but didn't get past 50% throttle even on the straights.
We're due to have a coffee to discuss what happened later today, and I'll gently try and suggest that she tries to stay away from the track altogether. I'm bracing myself...
You married a Surrey wife. You must work with what you've got.
A very good route for a boy to take. Contacts he makes now will be in his network for the rest of his life etc. So glad it's not rugby or point to pointing, look at all the spinal cord injuries etc, etc. Invaluable during teenage years. keeps him away from the undesirables etc.
All delivered with the sort of innocent demeanour usually reserved for the Clerk of the Course.
Next time you decide to breed please submit her for prior inspection. If she won't do Croft on a wet march Saturday she won't do.
A very good route for a boy to take. Contacts he makes now will be in his network for the rest of his life etc. So glad it's not rugby or point to pointing, look at all the spinal cord injuries etc, etc. Invaluable during teenage years. keeps him away from the undesirables etc.
All delivered with the sort of innocent demeanour usually reserved for the Clerk of the Course.
Next time you decide to breed please submit her for prior inspection. If she won't do Croft on a wet march Saturday she won't do.
In my opinion its good for a kid to be in the karting paddock, learning interaction skills with the other kids, learning team work when it comes to the set up and running of the kart and also learning about winning and losing.
Plus I know plenty of people when I was 17 who passed their driving test and went out on the road with a point to prove and no skills to back it up (one of which isn't with us today), karting teaches kids how to drive and control a vehicle from an early age and they're skills they'll never lose...
Plus I know plenty of people when I was 17 who passed their driving test and went out on the road with a point to prove and no skills to back it up (one of which isn't with us today), karting teaches kids how to drive and control a vehicle from an early age and they're skills they'll never lose...
graememac said:
In my opinion its good for a kid to be in the karting paddock, learning interaction skills with the other kids, learning team work when it comes to the set up and running of the kart and also learning about winning and losing.
Plus I know plenty of people when I was 17 who passed their driving test and went out on the road with a point to prove and no skills to back it up (one of which isn't with us today), karting teaches kids how to drive and control a vehicle from an early age and they're skills they'll never lose...
Sadly one of my best friends also died in a car accident in similar circumstances. The first thing his father did was buy a go-kart for his younger brother. Plus I know plenty of people when I was 17 who passed their driving test and went out on the road with a point to prove and no skills to back it up (one of which isn't with us today), karting teaches kids how to drive and control a vehicle from an early age and they're skills they'll never lose...
When I look back at my antics as a 17 year old I shudder, both at the stupidity and incompetence. I have already explained to his mother that the better his car control skills, and the more aware he is of the risks (which lets face it, to a young lad are only realised when it goes wrong) the more likely he is to emerge unscathed from those dangerous couple of years on the roads.
Again, as a young woman without any desire for speed or exhileration she simply doesn't understand why a 17 year old boy with a new license would go out and do anything silly on the roads...
Ahhh, its not going to be an easy chat later on...
gtdc said:
You married a Surrey wife. You must work with what you've got.
A very good route for a boy to take. Contacts he makes now will be in his network for the rest of his life etc. So glad it's not rugby or point to pointing, look at all the spinal cord injuries etc, etc. Invaluable during teenage years. keeps him away from the undesirables etc.
All delivered with the sort of innocent demeanour usually reserved for the Clerk of the Course.
Next time you decide to breed please submit her for prior inspection. If she won't do Croft on a wet march Saturday she won't do.
I read this one with a smile :-) Actually, she's a French (ex)wife that I imported to Surrey.A very good route for a boy to take. Contacts he makes now will be in his network for the rest of his life etc. So glad it's not rugby or point to pointing, look at all the spinal cord injuries etc, etc. Invaluable during teenage years. keeps him away from the undesirables etc.
All delivered with the sort of innocent demeanour usually reserved for the Clerk of the Course.
Next time you decide to breed please submit her for prior inspection. If she won't do Croft on a wet march Saturday she won't do.
Totally agree with you though, and I will raise the points you make.
I was practicing my innocent demenour with the pit marshall in Angelsey this weekend actually. I'm getting better at it.
Out of interest, what is the lower age limit for lads on your track / test days?
16 with an MSA license, or 14?
What a good point the chaps have made about the huge benfit ths will have when he starts driving on the road. He will understand the concept of mortality, and weight transfer, momentum, weather and tyre budget.
For most trackdays if they have a junior race (not kart) licence they can drive an appropriate car, under instruction at 14. An appropriate car is usually one of the junior championship cars but some circuits will allow other.
For most trackdays if they have a junior race (not kart) licence they can drive an appropriate car, under instruction at 14. An appropriate car is usually one of the junior championship cars but some circuits will allow other.
Her opinion/reaction is in it's nature irrational and emotional, only based on seeing one incident. As a result, no number of statistics will help, as if we used statistics to form our opinions about the safety of our children, none would be allowed to play football, the pros are always injured and there have been a huge number of broken legs/ankles/feet during matches over the past 10 years.
Motorsport IS dangerous. But so is driving to work or going out for a beer on a friday night. There is always a chance that something could go wrong through no fault of your own and you get seriously hurt, but you weigh up the risks and the benefits and decide whether or not to do it. This means it's subjective whether or not it is worth while.
In my opinion, all you can do is try to keep calm on the subject and explain how much it means to Dan to carry on, trying to strum an emotional chord.
Motorsport IS dangerous. But so is driving to work or going out for a beer on a friday night. There is always a chance that something could go wrong through no fault of your own and you get seriously hurt, but you weigh up the risks and the benefits and decide whether or not to do it. This means it's subjective whether or not it is worth while.
In my opinion, all you can do is try to keep calm on the subject and explain how much it means to Dan to carry on, trying to strum an emotional chord.
I'm a rallyist, a couple of years back my folks came along to watch (i'm in my thrities) and my Mrs and folks were back at the service area.
Another competitor had a nasty off and for some unknown reason they informed my family that my co-driver and i were the involved. (we weren't the cars are completely different, mines white the involved was red???) Needless to say the utmost panic and worry set in for about 3 hours until someone (CoC) told them otherwise.
My family all know the risks (we lost a driver in 2010 as a result of injuries) and know the precautions i take. I've done many 'extreme'/adrenaline sports over the years, downhll mountainbike racing in the alps, snowboarding, surfing, military service overseas, where i might get injured or the worst happen.
But I've always had the best safety equipment available - even now i'm not required to wear HANS but i do. I'm not required to have an FIA suit but i do. etc etc. When i was mountainbiking i wore motorcross helmets because they were tested to levels where bicycle helmets were not. The most amount of injuries i've suffered have been sports related, mostly as a result of playing rugby and mountainbiking.
I now have a son, he's not even one year old yet but whatever sport he chooses (so long as its not
soccer) Mrs E-B and i will support him and give him the best safety kit we can. I/we might not like the risks of the sport but its something we'll accept if he enjoys it.
Black11s, i hope you chat with the boy's mum goes ok, she'll worry even if she's not there but knows he's racing. I really want my boy to kart, it'll do him good for when he's older and driving on the roads. That and a chat with the local accident investigation section of the local Plod.
Another competitor had a nasty off and for some unknown reason they informed my family that my co-driver and i were the involved. (we weren't the cars are completely different, mines white the involved was red???) Needless to say the utmost panic and worry set in for about 3 hours until someone (CoC) told them otherwise.
My family all know the risks (we lost a driver in 2010 as a result of injuries) and know the precautions i take. I've done many 'extreme'/adrenaline sports over the years, downhll mountainbike racing in the alps, snowboarding, surfing, military service overseas, where i might get injured or the worst happen.
But I've always had the best safety equipment available - even now i'm not required to wear HANS but i do. I'm not required to have an FIA suit but i do. etc etc. When i was mountainbiking i wore motorcross helmets because they were tested to levels where bicycle helmets were not. The most amount of injuries i've suffered have been sports related, mostly as a result of playing rugby and mountainbiking.
I now have a son, he's not even one year old yet but whatever sport he chooses (so long as its not
soccer) Mrs E-B and i will support him and give him the best safety kit we can. I/we might not like the risks of the sport but its something we'll accept if he enjoys it.Black11s, i hope you chat with the boy's mum goes ok, she'll worry even if she's not there but knows he's racing. I really want my boy to kart, it'll do him good for when he's older and driving on the roads. That and a chat with the local accident investigation section of the local Plod.
I don't think trying to downplay motorsports danger factor or claim other sports are also dangerous is going to help. Realistically it is very dangerous, and the risks are alot higher than a sprained ankle in a game of football, especially if he moves from karting to single seaters.
Logically the risks do seem to outweigh the rewards 99% of racers will get from an outsiders perspective. Unfortunately explaining the reason why we do it to someone who doesn't 'get it' when there are many, many safer hobbies is pretty hard to do.
Logically the risks do seem to outweigh the rewards 99% of racers will get from an outsiders perspective. Unfortunately explaining the reason why we do it to someone who doesn't 'get it' when there are many, many safer hobbies is pretty hard to do.
gtdc said:
It was unfortunate that she was at an event where there wasn't an ambulance on sight while races were going on. How long before your son moves into championships where there is full medical cover?
Someone said earlier that a chat with Carolynn Hoy might help. I'd second that. You can quote all the stats you like but a talk with the sort of common sense she'd hear from CH would be far more effective.
On a slightly harsher note, if your ex wife is the type to have a melt down in the paddock then she's probably not the sort that should be anywhere near a paddock in the first place. I don't think you change change the basic mapping of a female of that type. It as likley to be a way of having a pop at you and using the other child's accident as a trigger/excuse.
Other than the suggestion above the less pandering you can do to that sort of behaviour the better.
this is the kind of problem you get at non MSA events,at a proper Kart meeting they wont even start the on track practice/racing without an ambulance on site! and most circuits will have more than one in case one has to leave with casualties.Someone said earlier that a chat with Carolynn Hoy might help. I'd second that. You can quote all the stats you like but a talk with the sort of common sense she'd hear from CH would be far more effective.
On a slightly harsher note, if your ex wife is the type to have a melt down in the paddock then she's probably not the sort that should be anywhere near a paddock in the first place. I don't think you change change the basic mapping of a female of that type. It as likley to be a way of having a pop at you and using the other child's accident as a trigger/excuse.
Other than the suggestion above the less pandering you can do to that sort of behaviour the better.
if i was you and you are that worried i would get into MSA racing rather than the mickey mouse run events like this! did they not even have first aid people on hand?
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