10 Years of American Motoring – Audi/Morris/Porsche

[Whatty]

October 2012

Hurricane Sandy. Forecast to be worse than 2011 event.
NJ declares State of Emergency 3 days prior to landfall.
Glad we didn’t repaint basement after last one.

Put furniture on trestles, move rugs, guns and valuables upstairs.
Ms. Whatty – 4 months pregnant watches.
Doesn’t do ‘inactivity’ well. Atmosphere ‘tense’.

Sunday October 29.

Sandy makes landfall in NJ.
Ms.Whatty reluctantly relocates to relatives home on higher ground.
Honda and faithful SAAB likewise.

Early evening, very very windy but no rain or signs of water.
22:00hrs - 02:00hrs. fk me!
Hurricane hits town. Mayhem ensues.
Electricity substations blow. Sky continually lit up electric blue.
A thousand trees uproot, break, snap. Very noisy.

Mother Nature. She don’t take no prisoners.



Aftermath.
Outside our house.



100 yards up the street.
One Prius, one lucky owner.
Debatable I suppose.




Thank you for your patience.
German car stuff on way.

Cheers,Whatty

[Whatty]

August 31st 2014.

Killing time. 8 days to departure for the U.K.
Short Hills Mall, New Jersey.
Something for everyone.
Including car blokes.

Bentley Mulsanne.
Nice blue.



Porsche 911 Carrera
PDK. Sports Chrono
Turbo wheels



Ducktail.
Looks a little lost to me on the now very wide 991.



Tesla Store.
Business a bit slow.



Enquired about buying in kit form.
Irony lost on salesman. Not unusual.



Lot of bored blokes.
Jersey Shore casting call.



Bit bored myself.
Ah that’s more like it.



911 GT3 RS Trackday car.



Hmm. Where to drive it?
This will do nicely.
Private Motor Club.
Drifters need not apply I imagine.



New York Metro area.
A million golf courses.
Only one of these.



Cheers, Whatty

[Whatty]

November 2012.

Post Hurricane Sandy.
NJ – 37 dead.
Cost of damage to NJ’s economy and third world infrastructure $56 billion.
Cost of damage to our property – Zero.
Another bullet dodged but related stress level high.
Consider relocation. Master Whatty on way.
Shelve relocation idea.


Winter 2012/13.

SAAB 9-5 V6 fast becoming my third office.
Now at 140K miles, no issues. Laughs at -5c cold starts.
Turbo engine loves the freezing air. Kick down on slip roads a giggle.

Brilliant in snow. Too much snow.
Town snow plow blocks driveway entrance.
Town Ordinances dictate no snow blowers in action before 07:00am.
05:00am start requires digging driveway out by hand.Much joy.



March 2013.

Master Whatty arrives safely. Hooray!
First car ride: Honda Element. Boo!



Spring 2013.

SAAB gets Spring clean detail. Looks good from ten feet.
Scrubs up quite well. Might even get new bonnet decal and wheel centers.



Cheers, Whatty.

[Roo]

I was reminded of your neighbours property when I read this story in yesterday's paper.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2739212/No...

[Whatty]

Roo said:

I was reminded of your neighbours property when I read this story in yesterday's paper.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2739212/No...

Yep, same hydraulic jack method used for our neighbours. Impressive Peterbuilt truck rig powered the hydraulic rams.

They faced a difficult decision to either sell for the value of the land alone c. 1/3rd of value prior to the flood or work with their insurance company and raise the house. The actually cost of raising was pretty cheap c. $10,000. It was the cost of replacing all the internal walls, electrical and plumbing that really added up.

As it is now they are not terribly happy with the way the house looks but their views of the river have increased somewhat

[Whatty]

Late May 2013.

New Jersey commuter life getting tedious.
NJ office getting very claustrophobic. Architecture doesn’t help.
Non-opening windows + canned air 365 days a year.



Need for fresh air + itchy car keys syndrome.
Random web surfing = irrational new father car purchase.
4 seats good, 2 seats bad.



2000 SL500 R129. Very Black.
Very low mileage 55k miles.
Very nice alloys.



2 owners from new. Slight smell of cigar smoke.
Another NJ garage queen.




June 2013.

A Saturday. Early – 06:00
First weekend after purchase.



Garden State Parkway. America’s busiest toll road.
172.4 miles long. Trucks forbidden.
Very straight - perfect for speed testing.




NJ State Trooper territory. Speeders dealt with severely.
Note reinforced concrete highway divider.
Perfect for rebounding drunk or just inattentive drivers back across 3/4/5 lanes of fast moving traffic.


R129 500SL
32 valve DOHC V8
5 speed automatic

Bank of America parking lot.
Pre-testing checks.
Hard top fitted for improved aero.
Handsome.

[Whatty]

June 2013
Garden State Parkway Entrance 137.
Southbound. Minimal traffic.
Outside lane.

SL500 R129
V8 DOHC
302 bhp

Depress accelerator
Engine noise increases.
Front of car rises.
Undertaken by Toyota Camry (Jewish Racing Yellow obv.)

Right. Foot right down.
Engage kick down.
Increase in engine noise.
Speedometer indication not proportional to engine revolutions.

Pull over on to shoulder.
Assume MB parking brake not released.
Parking brake found to be released.

Open hood/bonnet.
Nothing out of the ordinary.
Ignition leads all present.

Return to house and Wikipedia.
‘The designation SL derives from the German Sport Leicht, or Sport Lightweight’
Check owner’s manual for kerb weight – 4300 lbs.

Consider initiating class action lawsuit against Mercedes Benz.
(Frivolous lawsuits – America’s #1 favourite pastime)

Edited by Whatty on Tuesday 2nd September 12:43

[Whatty]

Sunday August 24th 2014.
NY Jets ‘Metlife’ Stadium
Meadowlands, NJ

Selfishly taking up 4 of the 27, 000 car parking slots.
Element enjoys a door ding free environment.



Whatty JR’s first motorsport event.
Sports Car Club of America Autosolo.



Ooops – wrong parking lot.
That will be the wannabe Supercar-driver-Lambo-experience.
Looked very slow.

Let’s try again.
Lot F.

This looks more promising.




Cheers Whatty,

[Whatty]

Nice to be back in the friendly autocross paddock.



Here’s what their up to.
Not a wannabe supercar driver event.
Bit of language at the end.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fe1IS7iDavg

Not sure what car this was.
Video found on Youtube
Possibly this?





Big variety of car's competing.

Mitsubishi Lancer.
Dedicated AX car.
Muchos dinero invested.



Note no cage. ‘Low speed’ environment doesn’t warrant it.



Unlimited Class.
Biggish rear spoiler.



Likewise tire set up.



Cheers, Whatty

[Whatty]

Thursday, September 4th 2014.

Had a couple day’s off from PH thread writing.
5 days to departure deadline.
More pressing issues.
Last trip to Jersey Shore. Whatty Jr’s second beach experience.
Animal export paperwork to finalize. Bureaucratic nightmare.

Haircut. Old school Italian American barbers.
Note 1950’s décor and ‘No Hope in Dope’ sticker.
Personally had some profitable/creative moments courtesy of ‘Bob’ over the years. Oh well.



Barber an Napoli Football Club fan.
Knew rather too much about Norwich City’s demotion to the Championship.
His business partner a bit of a car guy.



Meanwhile back on the street.
95f heat – way too hot for Whattys.
Cool Ford pickup.



Thanks for reading.

[Roo]

That's a pretty soulless looking building you were based in.

Sorry if it's been asked and I've missed it - what's prompted the return to the UK?

[Whatty]

Roo said:

That's a pretty soulless looking building you were based in.

Sorry if it's been asked and I've missed it - what's prompted the return to the UK?

The 'old' office certainly looks soulless doesn't it? It did feel a bit prison like at times

Our reason for leaving? A very good question.

As it's the second time I've been asked in this thread I'll answer it fully..... in a bit.

Right now I have to go to the airport to meet the Honda Element's new owner, he's flying in from Oklahoma.

So, business first. Its been a way of life here. For far too long.

Cheers, Whatty.

[Whatty]

Autumn 2013

I persevered with the big black Benz and adjusted to the fact that it gathered speed rather than actually accelerated.
Impressive build quality, all very solid and weighing in at 5000 pounds it did a great job at crushing NJ's continually crumbly roads.
Fuel consumption also impressive, anything but a feather like right foot would see the fuel tank empty itself in about 250 miles.

Loved the Teutonic muscle car looks.
Never bothered to take the hard top off.



Distracted by Whatty Jr and a deteriorating work environment I rather lost interest in it as anything other than as a commuter tool.

Congestion ahead.
Really?
New life challenges ahead?
Definitely.



Challenged by black paint swirls and the persisting odour of cigars I spent three days claying, waxing and polishing it. Very therapeutic.
Only time I took the hard top off was to photograph it for the advert.
Glaring NJ light makes for tricky shots.



Flogged it in June this year to a BMW 750i driver looking for open top summer fun.
I'll save the story of the test drive for another time. Likewise the 968's.
Originally from Beirut the guy certainly knew how to haggle.
Standing firm meant I only lost half a sleeve rather than my whole shirt.

September 5th 2014.

Five days to departure.
Today’s project. Complete sale of Honda Element.


Job#1.

Quick last minute wipe over of Honda.
Damn, all car cleaning cloths dirty.
Improvise.
Freebie XXXL t-shirt – perfect.
Just don’t ask me how I came by it.



Task complete.
T-shirt works. Cut up at a later date.
Meguiars detailing spray. Great stuff. Now all gone.



Finished product.
One Unhappy Seller and Driveway Queen.



Her one and only ‘new’ car.
Didn’t drive it much. Too busy with work.
13,600 NJ miles, not a ding, not a dent.


Job #2.

Transfer infant seat from Element to Lexus ES350 borrowed from Ms. Whatty’s Dad.
ISO fix inventor I salute you. Still manage to skin my knuckles.

2011 Honda Element – 13,600 miles – Driveway Queen
2007 Lexus ES350 – 92,000 miles – Daily Workhorse


Job #3.

Drive to Newark airport for 10:30 flight arrival
Easy drive. 20 minutes door-to-door.
Garden State Parkway North to I-78 East to Rt .1 & 9 and Newark Airport complex



NJ State Government advertising.
Big Sign. Big Ad Dollars.
NJ auto insurance cost? 4 x the U.K equivalent.




Caution! Prisoners at work.
Jail inmates clearing roadside garbage.
Not sure if County, State or Federal Penitentiary inmates.
Excuse poor picture.



And here we are.

“Welcome to Newark Liberty International Airport, for your safety and security please keep your luggage with you at all times. Unattended vehicles will be towed”

Sad that I know that PA announcement by heart.
Lost count of the number of times I’ve flown in and out of the place.



Post 9/11 Security means quite a walk to the terminal building.



Terminal A.

Not sure what our buyer looks like.
Improvise.



Success. Buyer met.
Nice guy.
Transaction concluded smoothly.
Buyer happy. Long distance transactions always a concern.
I hate to disappoint.
Honda off to a new home in Oklahoma.

If you reading this Paul, have a fun trip home and do keep in touch.



Lunch.

NJ Pizza. Possibly the best in the world.
Of course you’ll disagree if you live in Brooklyn or on Staten Island.
Its always delivered and its def. not Domino’s.
Black olives, peppers and pepperoni.


Thanks for reading.

[Roo]

The Benz came up really well.

I agree about the hardtop. I've always thought that model looked better with one on.

[Whatty]

Roo said:

The Benz came up really well.

I agree about the hardtop. I've always thought that model looked better with one on.

Thanks Roo*, Being more Gentleman Polisher than Dedicated Detailer I was quite pleased with the way it came it up.
Especially as it spent January and February on the driveway covered in snow and ice thanks to a six week trip overseas.
Started first turn of the key, no small thing when overnight temperature's here drop to -5C.

Hood down. Front 3/4 angle flatters.

• Still need to answer your question re. leaving here. Hope to later today.

Now off to vets for last dog export examination thingy.

Cheers, Whatty

[Roo]

I assume Whatty dog will have to go through quarantine.

Car already lined up here, or first thing on your list?

Having done the Euro car bit in the US are you going to go the other way and do US cars over here?

[Whatty]

Roo said:

I assume Whatty dog will have to go through quarantine.

Car already lined up here, or first thing on your list?

Having done the Euro car bit in the US are you going to go the other way and do US cars over here?

Thanks for hanging in there Mr Roo, I was a bit concerned about reader fatigue.

Whatty Dogs, plural, don’t have to do the old six month sentence in quarantine.

Thanks to some common sense policy making, micro-chipping and rabies vaccinations Dyson & Hoover (not their real names, but they deserve internet anonymity ) qualify for pet passports and thus only have to spend 4 hours at the Heathrow Animal Reception Centre before release.

On the car front, we have a suitably soft and slushy automatic ride set up for Ms. Whatty. and something V6 powered for me lurking in the wings.
But not from the Detroit Big 3.
Did you smell a sale?

Bit of car trouble today with the Lexus resulted in a bit of welcome ‘manual’ action.
Possibly an open door or interior light left on resulted in a flat battery and a FFS moment from me needing to get the dogs to the vet.

Mr. & Ms. Mike-the-great-neighbours generously chucked me the keys to their new Subaru Legacy so as to keep what was a rather important appointment.

Trusty Scooby Do flat four, six speed gearbox and annoying electric parking brake.
Comfy seats. Satisfying snick snick gearchange.



Look, Hub caps!
Nice drive, could do with slightly wider tyres.



No doubt resulting under-steer engineered in by manufacturers to ‘protect’ buyers.
Auto industry insiders tell me that these days steel wheels are often actually lighter than their alloy counterparts. Peugeot Rallye?
Feel free to contradict.

Vet appointment kept, paperwork in order, afternoon/evening spent sourcing and fitting new Lexus battery.

Now 23.00hrs E.S.T.
Knackered.

Night night
Whatty.

[alangtt]

I'm fascinated by you, your life and this thread. I've never been to America, looking at your photos It's everything I imagine it to be.
Is it your house with the Mercedes outside it (the huge one?)

[Roo]

I knew about the pet passport within the EU but didn't realise they'd done the sensible thing of extending it to cover more of the world.

Makes life easier for the dogs.

We sell a lot of gen 2 Prius' which bizarrely come with an alloy wheel with a plastic wheel trim on them.

[Roo]

alangtt said:

I'm fascinated by you, your life and this thread. I've never been to America, looking at your photos It's everything I imagine it to be.
Is it your house with the Mercedes outside it (the huge one?)

If you get the opportunity to go you should do so.

I've been fortunate enough to go several times on holiday, but never to the East coast.

West coast and surrounding states looks vastly different.

That's the great thing about the US. It's huge with varying climates and scenery with something that will appeal to everyone.